Abazali abanezingane eziphumelela impumelelo bafana ngani?

Ukuncoma noma ukugxeka? Hlela usuku lwakhe ngomzuzu noma umnike inkululeko ephelele? Phoqeleka ukuhlanganisa isayensi ngqo noma ukuthuthukisa amakhono okudala? Sonke siyesaba ukuphuthelwa ukukhulisa izingane. Ucwaningo lwakamuva olwenziwa izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo luye lwembula izici eziningana ezivamile kubazali izingane zabo eziye zaphumelela. Benzani abazali bosozigidi nomongameli bakusasa?

1. Bacela izingane ukuba zenze imisebenzi yasendlini.

“Uma izingane zingazigezi izitsha, kufanele omunye umuntu azenzele zona,” kusho uJulie Litcott-Hames, owayeyinduna eStanford University nombhali wencwadi ethi Let Them Go: How To Prepare Children for Adulthood (INKOMANEKO, 2017). ).

“Uma izingane zikhishwa emsebenzini wesikole kusho ukuthi azikutholi ukuqonda ukuthi kumele wenziwe lo msebenzi,” kugcizelela yena. Izingane ezisiza abazali bazo endlini zenza kube nezisebenzi ezinozwela nezinokubambisana ezengeziwe ezikwazi ukuthwala umthwalo wemfanelo.

U-Julie Litcott-Hames ukholelwa ukuthi ngokushesha ufundisa ingane ukusebenza, kungcono kuye - lokhu kuzonikeza izingane umbono wokuthi ukuphila ngokuzimela kusho, okokuqala, ukukwazi ukukhonza wena nokuhlomisa impilo yakho.

2. Banaka amakhono ezingane emphakathini

Izingane ezine-"social intelligence" ezithuthukisiwe - okungukuthi, labo abaqonda kahle imizwa yabanye, bayakwazi ukuxazulula izingxabano futhi basebenze eqenjini - ngokuvamile bathola imfundo enhle nemisebenzi yesikhathi esigcwele lapho beneminyaka engu-25. Lokhu kufakazelwa ngocwaningo olwenziwe yiNyuvesi yasePennsylvania kanye neDuke University, olwenziwa iminyaka engama-20.

Ngokuphambene, izingane ezazingathuthukisiwe kahle amakhono azo okusebenzelana nabanye zazivame ukuboshwa, zijwayele ukudakwa, futhi kwakunzima kakhulu ngazo ukuthola umsebenzi.

“Omunye wemisebenzi eyinhloko yabazali uwukugxilisa enganeni yabo ikhono lokukhulumisana nokuziphatha okuhle,” kusho umlobi ocwaningayo uChristine Schubert. “Emikhayeni enaka kakhulu le ndaba, izingane zikhula zizinzile ngokomzwelo futhi zisinde kalula ezinkingeni zokukhula.”

3. Babeka ibha phezulu

Okulindelwe abazali kuyisikhuthazo esinamandla ezinganeni. Lokhu kufakazelwa ukuhlaziya idatha yocwaningo, ehlanganisa izingane ezingaphezu kwezinkulungwane eziyisithupha e-United States. “Abazali ababikezela ikusasa elihle lezingane zabo benza imizamo eyengeziwe yokuqinisekisa ukuthi lezi zinto ezilindelwe ziyenzeka,” kusho ababhali balolu cwaningo.

Mhlawumbe lokho okubizwa ngokuthi “i-Pygmalion effect” nakho kunendima: amathemba aphezulu abazali enza izingane zizame kanzima ukuphila ngokuvumelana nazo.

4. Banobudlelwano obuhle nomunye nomunye

Izingane emindenini lapho izingxabano zenzeka khona umzuzu nomzuzu zikhula zingaphumeleli kangako kunontanga yazo eziphuma emindenini lapho kuyisiko ukuhloniphana nokulalelana. Lesi siphetho senziwe ngongoti bezengqondo baseNyuvesi yase-Illinois (USA).

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, indawo engenazingxabano yaba isici esibaluleke kakhulu kunomkhaya ogcwele: omama abangabodwa abakhulise izingane zabo ngothando nokunakekelwa, izingane zazingase ziphumelele.

Okunye ukuhlola kwathola ukuthi lapho ubaba ohlukanisile ebona izingane zakhe njalo futhi elondoloza ubuhlobo obuhle nonina, izingane zenza kangcono. Kodwa lapho ukungezwani kuqhubeka ebuhlotsheni babazali ngemva kwesehlukaniso, lokhu kuyithinta kabi ingane.

5. Bahola ngesibonelo.

Omama abakhulelwa besebancane (ngaphambi kweminyaka engu-18) banamathuba amaningi okuthi bayeke isikole futhi bangaqhubeki nemfundo yabo.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Eric Dubov sathola ukuthi izinga lemfundo labazali ngesikhathi seminyaka eyisishiyagalombili yengane lingakwazi ukubikezela ngokunembile ukuthi iyoba yimpumelelo kangakanani ngokomsebenzi eminyakeni engu-40.

6. Bafundisa izibalo kusenesikhathi

Ngo-2007, ukuhlaziywa kwemininingwane yedatha evela kubafundi basenkulisa abangu-35 e-US, Canada, nase-UK kwabonisa ukuthi labo bafundi abese bejwayelene nezibalo ngesikhathi bengena esikoleni babonise imiphumela engcono esikhathini esizayo.

“Ukwazi ukubala kusenesikhathi, ukubala okuyisisekelo kwezibalo kanye nemiqondo kunquma impumelelo yesikhathi esizayo hhayi nje kusayensi eqondile, kodwa nasekufundeni,” kusho uGreg Duncan, umbhali walolu cwaningo. "Lokhu kuxhumene nani, akukakakwazi ukusho ngokuqinisekile."

7. Bakha ukwethembana ezinganeni zabo.

Ukuzwela kanye nekhono lokusungula ukuthintana ngokomzwelo nengane, ikakhulukazi isencane, kubaluleke kakhulu kuyo yonke impilo yayo yesikhathi esizayo. Lesi siphetho senziwe ngongoti bezengqondo baseNyuvesi yaseMinnesota (USA). Bathole ukuthi labo abazalelwa ebuphofini nasekusweleni bathola impumelelo enkulu ezifundweni zabo uma bekhulele endaweni yothando nemfudumalo.

Lapho abazali «besabela kumasignali wengane ngokushesha futhi ngokwanele» futhi baqinisekisa ukuthi ingane iyakwazi ukuhlola umhlaba ngokuphepha, kungakwazi ngisho ukunxephezela izici ezingezinhle ezifana indawo engasebenzi kahle kanye nezinga eliphansi lemfundo, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Lee Raby, omunye. yababhali bocwaningo.

8. Abahlali benengcindezi njalo.

Isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu uKei Nomaguchi sithi: “Omama okumelwe baphuthume phakathi kwezingane baye emsebenzini “bathelela” izingane ngokukhathazeka kwazo. Watadisha ukuthi isikhathi abazali abasichitha nezingane zabo siyithinta kanjani inhlalakahle yazo kanye nezinto abazifeza esikhathini esizayo. Kwavela ukuthi kulokhu, hhayi inani lesikhathi, kodwa ikhwalithi ibaluleke kakhulu.

Ukunakekelwa okweqile, okucindezelayo kungaba yingozi njengokunganakwa, kugcizelela uKei Nomaguchi. Abazali abafuna ukuvikela ingane engozini abayivumeli ukuba yenze izinqumo futhi izitholele okuhlangenwe nakho kwayo kokuphila.

9. Banomqondo “wokukhula”

Enye indlela eqinisekile yokubikezela ukuthi ingane izophumelela yini ekuphileni iwukubheka indlela ezihlaziya ngayo izimbangela zempumelelo nokwehluleka.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseStanford uCarol Dweck sihlukanisa phakathi kwengqondo egxilile nengqondo yokukhula. Eyokuqala ibonakala ngenkolelo yokuthi imingcele yamakhono ethu ibekwe kusukela ekuqaleni futhi akukho lutho esingakwazi ukuguqula. Okwesibili, ukuthi singazuza okwengeziwe ngomzamo.

Uma abazali betshela ingane eyodwa ukuthi inesiphiwo esizalwa nayo, kanti enye ithi «yancishwa» ngokwemvelo, lokhu kungabalimaza bobabili. Owokuqala uzokhathazeka ukuphila kwakhe konke ngenxa yemiphumela engemihle, esaba ukulahlekelwa isipho sakhe esiyigugu, kanti owesibili angase enqabe nhlobo ukuzisebenzela, ngoba “awukwazi ukushintsha imvelo.”