Ubudlelwano Narcissists: 11 Imithetho Yokuziphatha

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nombhali u-Shahida Arabi useneminyaka eminingi ecwaninga ngesihloko sobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle, ebhala izincwadi zokuzisiza kulabo abaye babhekana namandla abhubhisayo ama-narcissists, befunda ngezinkinga zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo nokuthuthukisa amasu okuziphatha kwalabo abaye bawela. amandla "ama-manipulators" ahlukahlukene. «.

Ekhuluma "nabasinde kuma-narcissists", umlobi wenza uhlu lwezenzo okufanele zigwenywe uma usebudlelwaneni nomlingani onjalo. Usikhumbuza ukuthi amaphethini okuziphatha kwabantu abanjalo ayabikezelwa, kodwa singakwazi ukulondoloza ukuthula kwengqondo uma singathembeli ekusekeleni nasekuzweleni kwabo.

Nalu uhlu lwezinto okufanele uzigweme lapho usebenza nomuntu omthandayo onobuthi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usebenza naye, umlingani, umngane, noma isihlobo.

1. Ningahambi ndawonye

Labo abake bathandana ne-narcissist bavame ukukhuluma ngokuthi iholidi labo lamaphupho liphenduke kanjani isihogo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kwezinye izimo, sikhuluma ngisho ne-honeymoon, okuyinto, ngombono, kufanele ibe enye yezenzakalo zothando kakhulu ekuphileni komuntu. Ukuhamba nomlingani emazweni akude, ama-narcissists enza izimo ukuze amhlukanise futhi abonise ngokugcwele izinhlangothi zabo ezimnyama.

Uma umngane wakho eseziphethe ngendlela engafanele: wakwehlisa isithunzi, wakuhlukumeza ngokuthula, wakuhlazisa futhi wakuhlambalaza - qiniseka ukuthi ukuguqulwa kwendawo kuzomcasula, ngoba lapho kungekho muntu okwaziyo, ngeke ukwazi ukucela ukwesekwa.

2. Ningazigubhi izinsuku ezikhethekile namaholide owathandayo ndawonye

Ama-Narcissists aziwa ngokuthambekela kwawo ekucekeleni phansi lezo zenzakalo ezingenza ozakwabo, abangani, nabalingani bajabule futhi baphambukise ukunaka kubo, "okukhulu futhi kubi." Ngakho-ke, kungcono ukuthi bamane bangazi ukuthi usuku olubalulekile lufikile kuwe.

3. Gwema ukuhlangana nabangane ne-narcissist

Ngokuvamile abantu abanobuntu be-narcissistic emaphathini baqala ukudlala ngothando nabantu abasha abajwayele. Ngakho, benza umlingani akhathazeke futhi bancintisane ukuze bamnake. Lokhu kungalimaza ukuzethemba kwakho, ingasaphathwa eyokuthi isimo sakho sengqondo sizowohloka nakanjani. “Uzozwa izinhlungu nokuhlukaniswa, ngoba i-narcissist iheha isixuku, ikwehlisa inani lakho,” kuchaza u-Shahida Arabi.

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ama-narcissists avame ukudala lobu budlelwano hhayi emndenini kuphela, kodwa nasemsebenzini nasehhovisi lomelaphi. Baxabanisa ozakwabo, izihlobo nabajwayelene nabo ukuze bazizwe bengcono futhi bazizwe benamandla phezu kwabanye.

4. Yenqaba ukuya ndawonye emaholidini omndeni

Ama-Narcissists angakucasula kusengaphambili ukuze akubeke ekukhanyeni okungathandeki phambi komndeni wakho: bheka, bathi, ukuthi akazinzile kangakanani ngokomzwelo! Phakathi naleso sikhathi, bona ngokwabo babukeka bezolile futhi belinganisela ngokumelene nesizinda sakho. “Ungabaniki lelo thuba! Uma ukuvakasha kungenakugwema, zama ukuhlala uzolile,” kuxwayisa uShahida Arabi.

5. Unganaki Iziqhumane Zothando

Ukuqhunyiswa kwamabhomu othando, noma ukuqhuma kwamabhomu kothando, kuyizenzo lapho ekuqaleni kobudlelwane kuhloswe ngazo ukusheshisa ukusondelana, kokubili ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, nomuntu “oyisisulu” esingaba khona. Ungase uhlatshwe izincwadi nemiyalezo, ungase uthunyelelwe izimbali nezipho — yilena ndlela umuntu ongase abe uzakwethu ethemba ngayo ukwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nawe ngokushesha okukhulu. Kodwa umazi kangakanani?

Ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, izenzo ezinjalo zisiza ukubuyisela umusa womlingani. I narcissist indiva noma ikubeka phansi, kodwa uma ubonisa ukuthi usukulungele «off the hook», uba kungazelelwe mnene futhi onakekelayo. Uma uqhunyiswa ngamabhomu, zama ukungaphenduli kuyo yonke imilayezo ngokushesha, ungavumeli ifeni igcwalise sonke isikhathi sakho. Lokhu kuzokunika ithuba lokucabanga kabusha ngokwenzekayo.

6. Yeka ubudlelwano bezezimali kanye nezinkontileka nama-narcissists

Ungababoleki imali noma ucele usizo lwezezimali. Ngaphezu kwalokho, akufanele ungene kunoma ibuphi ubudlelwano obusemthethweni nabo. “Uyohlala ukhokha kakhulu kulokhu kunomxolisi,” uchwepheshe uyaqiniseka.

7. Nciphisa ukukhulumisana ngamazwi

Uma wena kanye ne-narcissist ninoma yiliphi ibhizinisi noma ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu, uma besongela, bekhohlisa noma be-blackmail, uma kungenzeka, ungaxoxi naye ngalokhu ocingweni noma mathupha. Zama ukuxhumana naye ngemiyalezo noma ngemeyili. Futhi uma kusadingeka ukhulume mathupha, qopha okwenzekayo kusirekhodi. Ngokuzayo, lobu bufakazi bungaba wusizo kuwe.

8. Musani ukuvakashela isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ndawonye futhi ningabelani ngezinhlelo zenu

Uma umlingani ebonisa izimpawu ze-narcissism, kungcono ukwenqaba ukwelashwa okuhlangene. Ngeshwa, noma yini oyisho ehhovisi likachwepheshe ingasetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe. Kunalokho, kungcono ukuzinaka futhi uye kumelaphi uwedwa. Ngale ndlela, ungabhekana nokuhlukumezeka kwakho futhi ufunde ukumelana nethonya eliyingozi le-narcissist.

Kungcono futhi ukuthi ungamtsheli ngezinhlelo zakho zempilo yakamuva: uma ufuna ukushiya umlingani wakho, angaphazamisa imizamo yakho yokumshiya. Kungcono ukulungisa yonke imibhalo edingekayo kuqala futhi uthole indawo ephephile, kuxwayisa u-Shahida Arabi.

9. Musa ukubiza umnaki ngomnaki

Uma "uxilonga" umlingani wakho, uzohlangana nentukuthelo yakhe. Okubi nakakhulu, angase azame ukukujezisa "ngokungahloniphi" kwakho. Lapho ama-narcisists ebona ukuthi uyangabaza ukuphakama kwawo phezu kwakho, athukuthela azame ukujezisa.

Abantu be-Narcissistic abakwamukeli noma yikuphi ukugxekwa ekhelini labo, kodwa balungele okuningi ukuze bathole amandla phezu komlingani wabo. Ngokunokwenzeka, bazosabela emazwini akho ngokukhanyisa igesi noma enye "ibhomu yothando".

10. Ungabelani ngezinto zakho zangaphakathi nomuntu oyi-narcissist.

Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, sivulela umlingani wethu isifuba, futhi uyakwamukela lokhu ngokubonga nangokuhlanganyela. Kodwa uma i-narcissist ithola ngobuhlungu bakho, ukwesaba nokulimala kwakho, qiniseka: uzosebenzisa ulwazi ngokumelene nawe. Ngokushesha noma kamuva, konke akwaziyo kuzomsiza akwenze ubukeke "ongajwayelekile", "ongazinzile", "uhlanya". Uma ucabanga ngokwabelana ngezinto ezibalulekile nabantu obajwayele, qala ngokucabangela: ingabe laba bantu bafanele ukubathemba?

11. Ungaceli usizo kuma narcissist.

Narcissists abanalo uzwelo. Sazi izindaba eziningi zozakwethu be-narcissistic abalahla futhi bakhaphela abangani babo ngezikhathi ezimbi kakhulu zokuphila kwabo. Laba bangamadoda athandanayo lapho amakhosikazi abo eboshiwe, namakhosikazi akhohlisa abalingani babo abagula kakhulu noma abaye balahlekelwa kakhulu. Uma "uneqembu lokusekelana" labangane noma lomndeni, kungcono ukuncika kulo kunomuntu onohlobo lomuntu oluyi-narcissistic, kusho u-Arabi.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo siyakhumbuza: akulona iphutha lakho ukuthi uke wahlushwa ubuhlobo nomuntu ogulayo, kodwa ungakwazi ukunciphisa umonakalo ekukhulumeni naye ngokufunda okwengeziwe ngemikhuba nokuziphatha kwakhe.