Okuqukethwe
Kungani abanye abantu bekhula bethembele, bengalondekile, bengakhululekile ekukhulumeni? Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zizothi: bheka impendulo ebuntwaneni. Mhlawumbe abazali babo babengaqapheli ukuthi kungani befuna umntwana.
Ngikhuluma kakhulu nabesifazane abakhuliswe omama ababandayo, abakude nemizwa. Umbuzo obuhlungu kakhulu obakhathazayo ngemuva kokuthi “Kungani wayengangithandi?” Ingabe “Wangizalelani?”.
Ukuba nezingane akusenzi sijabule kakhudlwana. Ngokufika kwengane, izinguquko eziningi empilweni yombhangqwana: akufanele banake kuphela komunye nomunye, kodwa futhi nelungu lomndeni elisha - elithintayo, elingenakusiza, ngezinye izikhathi elicasulayo futhi elinenkani.
Konke lokhu kungaba umthombo wenjabulo yeqiniso kuphela uma sizilungiselela ngaphakathi ukuzalwa kwezingane futhi senza lesi sinqumo ngokuqaphela. Ngeshwa, lokhu akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uma senza ukukhetha ngokusekelwe ezizatho zangaphandle, lokhu kungaholela ezinkingeni esikhathini esizayo.
1. Ukuba nomuntu okuthandayo
Abaningi besifazane engaxoxa nabo babekholelwa ukuthi ukuba nengane kwakuyobasiza baqede ubuhlungu abanye ababebazwise bona ukuphila kwabo konke.
Elinye lamakhasimende ami lakhulelwa ngenxa yobudlelwano obuthile nje futhi lanquma ukuyigcina ingane - njengenduduzo. Kamuva wabiza lesi sinqumo ngokuthi "ubugovu kunazo zonke empilweni yami."
Omunye wathi «izingane akufanele zibe nezingane,» okusho ukuthi yena ngokwakhe wayentula ukuvuthwa nokusimama ngokomzwelo ukuze abe umama okahle.
Inkinga iwukuthi incazelo yokuba khona kwengane yehlela emsebenzini - ukuba "i-ambulensi" engokomzwelo kumama.
Emikhayeni enjalo, izingane ezingavuthiwe ngokomzwelo nezithembele kuye ziyakhula, ezifunda kusenesikhathi ukujabulisa abanye, kodwa zingaziqapheli izifiso nezidingo zazo.
2. Ngoba kulindeleke ukuthi wenze kanjalo
Akukhathalekile ukuthi ubani umlingani, umama, ubaba noma othile ovela endaweni. Uma sinengane ukuze nje sigweme ukudumaza abanye, siyakhohlwa ngokulungela kwethu lesi sinyathelo. Lesi sinqumo sidinga unembeza. Kumelwe sihlole ukuvuthwa kwethu siqu futhi siqonde ukuthi singakwazi yini ukunikeza ingane yonke into edingekayo.
Ngenxa yalokho, izingane zabazali abanjalo zikhononda ngokuthi nakuba zinakho konke—uphahla phezu kwamakhanda azo, izingubo, ukudla etafuleni—akekho ozikhathalelayo izidingo zazo ezingokomzwelo. Bathi bazizwa befana nje nomunye umaki wokuhlola ohlwini lwabo lwabazali lwemigomo yempilo.
3. Ukwenza ukuphila kube nenjongo
Ukubonakala kwengane emndenini kunganikeza ngempela umfutho omusha ekuphileni kwabazali. Kodwa uma lokho kuyisizathu kuphela, kuyisizathu esibi. Nguwe kuphela ongazinqumela ukuthi kungani uhlala. Omunye umuntu, ngisho nosana olusanda kuzalwa, akakwazi ukukwenzela lona.
Indlela enjalo esikhathini esizayo ingase iphenduke ibe ukuvikela ngokweqile kanye nokulawula okuncane ezinganeni. Abazali bazama ukutshala imali enganeni ngangokunokwenzeka. Akanayo indawo yakhe, izifiso zakhe, ilungelo lokuvota. Umsebenzi wakhe, okuyincazelo yokuba khona kwakhe, uwukwenza ukuphila kwabazali kungabi nalutho.
4. Ukuqinisekisa ukuzala
Ukuba nomuntu ozodla ifa lebhizinisi lethu, imali esiyilondolozile, ozosithandazela, esiyophila enkumbulweni yakhe ngemva kokufa kwethu - lezi zingxabano zasendulo zazicindezela abantu ukuba bashiye inzalo. Kodwa lokhu kuzicabangela kanjani izithakazelo zezingane ngokwazo? Kuthiwani ngentando yabo, ukukhetha kwabo?
Ingane «okumiselwe» ukuthatha indawo yayo emndenini wozalo noma ukuba umnakekeli wamagugu ethu ikhulela endaweni enengcindezi enkulu.
Izidingo zezingane ezingangeni esimeni somndeni zivame ukuphikiswa noma azinakwa.
“Umama wangikhethela izingubo, abangani, ngisho nenyuvesi, egxile kulokho okwamukelekayo kumbuthano wakhe,” kusho elinye lamakhasimende ami. “Ngaphenduka ummeli ngoba efuna.
Lapho ngolunye usuku ngibona ukuthi ngiyawuzonda lo msebenzi, washaqeka. Kwamphatha kabi kakhulu ukuthi ngayeka umsebenzi oholela kahle futhi ngasebenza njengothisha. Ungikhumbuza lokho kuzo zonke izingxoxo."
5. Ukusindisa umshado
Naphezu kwazo zonke izixwayiso zezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, inqwaba kanye namakhulu ezihloko ezincwadini ezidumile, sisakholelwa ukuthi ukubonakala kwengane kungaphulukisa ubudlelwano obuqhekekile.
Okwesikhashana, abalingani bangakhohlwa ngempela ngezinkinga zabo futhi bagxile kusana olusanda kuzalwa. Kodwa ekugcineni, ingane iba esinye isizathu sokuxabana.
Ukungavumelani ngendlela yokukhulisa izingane kuseyimbangela evamile yesehlukaniso
“Ngeke ngisho ukuthi yizingxabano zokukhula kwethu ezasehlukanisa,” kusho enye indoda eneminyaka ephakathi. “Kodwa bebengabokugcina. Umkami wakudala wenqaba ukuyala indodana yakhe. Ukhule enganakile futhi enganakile. angikwazanga ukukuthwala.»
Yiqiniso, yonke into ingumuntu ngamunye. Ngisho noma isinqumo sokuba nengane singacatshangelwanga kahle, ungaba umzali oqotho. Kuncike ekutheni unquma ukwethembeka kuwena futhi ufunde ukubala lezo zifiso eziqulekile ezilawula ukuziphatha kwakho.
Mayelana Nombhali: U-Peg Streep ungumsakazi nombhali wezincwadi ezithengiswa kakhulu ngobudlelwane bomndeni, okuhlanganisa Omama Abangalungile: Indlela Yokunqoba Ukuhlukumezeka Komndeni.