Umngane ongokomfanekiso uvame ukuvela eminyakeni engu-3/4 yengane futhi uba yonke indawo ekuphileni kwayo kwansuku zonke. Izonyamalala ngokwemvelo njengoba yazalwa futhi izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziyavuma ukuthi kuyisiteji "esivamile" ekukhuleni kwengqondo yengane.
Ukwazi Ukuqina kanye nobude besikhathi sobudlelwano nomngane ocatshangelwayo kuyehluka kakhulu kusuka enganeni kuya enganeni. Ngokwezibalo, ingane eyodwa kwezintathu ngeke ihlangabezane nalolu hlobo lobuhlobo obuzicabangelayo. Ezimweni eziningi, umngane ocabangayo uyanyamalala kancane kancane, ukuze enze abangane bangempela, lapho ingane iqala ukuya enkulisa. |
Ungubani ngempela?
Umcabango, i-delirium, ukuba khona okungaqondakali, abantu abadala bakuthola kunzima ukuhlala benengqondo lapho bebhekene nalesi siqephu esiphazamisayo. Abantu abadala abanakho ukufinyelela okuqondile kulo "mngane ocatshangelwayo", ngakho-ke ukukhathazeka kwabo ebusweni balobu buhlobo obumangalisayo futhi obuvame ukudida. Futhi ingane ayisho lutho, noma kancane.
Ngenxa yalokho, ingane yakho ngesikhathi sokuzilibazisa ingakwazi ukushintsha izikhathi zokukhungatheka ngezikhathi ezisunguliwe, isibuko ngendlela, lapho kuzovezwa khona ukuhlonza, okulindelwe kanye nokwesaba. Ukhuluma naye ngokuzwakalayo noma ngokuhleba, aziqinisekise ukuthi angakwazi ukuxoxa naye ngemizwa yakhe.
nobufakazi
Umama ezingosini ze-dejagrand.com:
“… Indodana yami yayinomngane wami engimcabangayo lapho ineminyaka engu-4 ubudala, yayikhuluma nayo, ihamba nayo yonke indawo, yayisicishe yaba yilungu elisha lomndeni !! Ngaleso sikhathi umfana wami wayeyedwa, futhi ehlala emaphandleni wayengenalo, ngaphandle kwasesikoleni, engenalo isoka ayengalidlala. Ngicabanga ukuthi wayeshoda okuthile, ngoba kusukela ngelanga esiya ekhempini, lapho azithola esehamba nezinye izingane, isoka lakhe lanyamalala futhi lapho sifika ekhaya lazana naye. umakhelwane omncane futhi lapho asiphindanga sizwe ngomngane wakhe omcabango futhi…. “
Omunye umama ufakaza ngendlela efanayo:
“… Umngane ongokomfanekiso akayona into okumelwe sizikhathaze ngayo ngokwayo, izingane eziningi zinabo, kunalokho kukhombisa umcabango othuthukile. Iqiniso lokuthi ngokuzumayo akasafuni ukudlala nezinye izingane libonakala likhathaza kakhulu, lo mngane ocatshangelwayo akufanele athathe yonke indawo. Uzama ukukhuluma naye, angithi lowo mngani awuziboni ufuna ukudlala nezinye izingane? Naka izimpendulo zakhe. ”…
Okujwayelekile kochwepheshe
Ngokusho kwabo, "i-double self", evumela izingane ezincane ukuba ziveze izifiso nezinkathazo zazo. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zikhuluma "ngomsebenzi ekukhuleni kwengqondo yengane".
Ngakho-ke ungathuki, ingane yakho encane idinga umngane wayo, futhi ikwazi ukumsebenzisa ngokubona kwayo.
Eqinisweni, lo mngane ocatshangelwayo uvela esigabeni sokukhula lapho umntwana enempilo ecatshangwayo ecebile futhi echumayo. Izimo nezindaba eziqanjiwe ziningi.
Ukudalwa kwaleli zwe elingaphakathi kunomsebenzi oqinisekisayo vele, kodwa futhi kungaba impendulo ezinkingeni noma iqiniso elingelona elihlekisayo njengalokho.
Ngaphansi kokugadwa noma kunjalo
Ingane esezinhlungwini, ngokwenhlalo yodwa kakhulu noma ezizwa ikhishwe inyumbazane, kungase kudingeke ukuthi isungule umngane oyedwa noma ngaphezulu. Ulawula ngokuphelele laba bangane bamanga, okubenza banyamalale noma bavele ngokuthanda kwabo.
Uzoveza phezu kwazo izinkathazo zakhe, ukwesaba kwakhe nezimfihlo zakhe. Akukho okwethusa ngempela, kodwa hlala uqaphile ngokufanayo!
Uma ingane ihoxile kakhulu ekukhetheni lobu buhlobo kuphela, ingaba yi-pathological uma iqhubeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi imvimbe kwamanye amathuba akhe okuba umngane. Khona-ke kuyodingeka ukuthintana nochwepheshe bezingane ezisencane ukuze kutholakale ukuthi yini edlalwayo ngemva kwalesi siteji sokukhathazeka okuthile mayelana neqiniso.
Yamukela ukusabela okuhle
Zitshele ukuthi lokhu akufanele kukukhathaze kakhulu, futhi kuyindlela yokuthi ingane yakho izizwe ingcono kulesi sikhathi esiyingqayizivele ebhekene naso.
Kugcine kulula, ngaphandle kokuziba noma ukudumisa ukuziphatha kwabo. Kubalulekile ukuthola ibanga elifanele, ngokulibheka kafushane.
Eqinisweni, ukumvumela ukuba akhulume ngalo “mngane” kumvumela ukuba akhulume ngaye ngokwakhe, futhi lokhu kungaba yinzuzo kuphela ukwazi okwengeziwe ngemizwelo yakhe efihliwe, ngemizwa yakhe, ngamafuphi, ukusondelana kwakhe.
Ngakho-ke ukubaluleka kokwazi ukuthi ungabhalansisa kanjani intshisekelo yakho kulo mhlaba we-virtual, ngaphandle kokungena kakhulu.
Phakathi kwangempela kanye ne-virtual
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akumele singene emdlalweni owonakele ongasho ukuthi umkhawulo phakathi kweqiniso noma amanga awusekho. Izingane zakule minyaka zidinga izilinganiso eziqinile futhi ziqonde ngokusebenzisa abantu abadala ukuthi yini engokoqobo.
Ngakho-ke ukubaluleka kokungakhulumi nomngane okukhulunywa ngaye ngokuqondile. Ungaze umtshele ukuthi awumboni lo mngani futhi kuyisifiso sakhe ukuba nendawo yakhe, “umngane”, okumenza akholwe ukuthi ukhona.
Asikho isidingo sokuphikisa noma ukujezisa ingane yakho ngoba isekela ngokuqinile ukuba khona kwayo. Mkhumbuze ukuthi wenza lokhu okungalungile nokuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngeke esakudinga. Ngokuvamile, umngane weqiniso unyamalala ngokushesha njengoba efikile.
Ekugcineni, kuyindlela evamile, (kodwa hhayi isibopho), okungase kube kuhle enganeni uma igcina isikhathi futhi ingahlukanisi.
Laba bangani mbumbulu bawumkhondo womuntu siqu wempilo yangaphakathi enothile futhi nakuba abantu abadala bengenabo abangani abangokoqobo, basathanda ngezinye izikhathi ukuba nengadi yabo eyimfihlo, njengabancane.
Ukuze uxhumane:
Ama-movie
"Imfihlo kaKelly-Anne", 2006 (ifilimu yezingane)
"Umdlalo wezinkinga" 2005 (ifilimu yabantu abadala)
"I-Sixth Sense" 2000 (ifilimu yabadala)
Amabhuku
“Ingane phakathi kwabanye, ukuze izakhele ebuhlotsheni bomphakathi”
UMilan, u-A. Beaumatin no-C. Laterrasse
"Khuluma nezingane zakho"
Odile Jacob, uDkt Antoine Alaméda