Ubonile ukuhlukunyezwa kwabazali. Okufanele ngikwenze?

Bambalwa abantu abakwazi ukudlula ngokuthula uma umfana ehlasela intombazane emgwaqeni noma isikhwama sithathwe kugogo. Kodwa esimweni lapho umama ekhala noma eshaya ingane yakhe, yonke into iyinkimbinkimbi. Ngabe thina - ababukele - sinelungelo lokugxambukela ezindabeni zomndeni wabanye abantu? Ingabe singasiza kulesi simo?

Ake sibone ukuthi kungani imizwa nemicabango eminingi kangaka ibangela izigcawu ezinjalo kubantu ababukele nje. Futhi cabanga ukuthi hlobo luni lokungenelela nokuthi yiziphi izimo ezamukelekayo neziwusizo.

Izindaba zomndeni

Konke okwenzeka phakathi kwezingane nabazali ekhaya kuyibhizinisi labo. Kuze kube yilapho kuvela izimpawu ze-alamu - isimo esingavamile nokuziphatha kwengane, izikhalazo ezivela kuye, imihuzuko eminingi, ukukhala noma ukukhala kwenhliziyo ngemuva kodonga. Futhi noma kunjalo, kufanele ucabange ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokubiza umqaphi, isibonelo.

Kodwa uma ihlazo lenzeka emgwaqweni, bonke ababukele baba abahlanganyeli abangazi. Abanye babo banezingane ezizwelayo kulezi zigcawu. Futhi-ke kuvela ukuthi umphakathi unelungelo lokungenelela - futhi ngokuvamile hhayi nje kuphela ukuvikela ingane endaweni ehlazisayo, kodwa futhi nokuzinakekela bona kanye nezingane zabo, okuyinto ngisho nokubuka izigcawu zobudlova ngokuvamile akusizi.

Umbuzo omkhulu uthi kufanele kube luhlobo luni lokungenelela ukuze kusize, hhayi ukulimaza.

Kungani izigcawu ezinempama nokuklabalasa zilimaze ababukele

Umuntu ngamunye unozwela - ikhono lokuzwa imizwa nobuhlungu bomunye. Sizwa ubuhlungu bezingane kakhulu, futhi uma kungazelelwe ingane icasukile, sifuna ukusho phezulu: “Yeka lokhu ngokushesha!”

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi esimweni nengane yethu siqu, kwenzeka ukuthi asiyizwa imizwelo yakhe, ngoba kukhona neyethu - imizwa yomzali engazwakala kakhulu ngathi. Ngakho lapho umzali emgwaqeni ethukuthele “eshayela” okuthile enganeni yakhe, umzali uzwa imizwelo yakhe kakhulu kuneyezingane. Ngaphandle, lesi yisigameko sokuhlukunyezwa kwezingane, okubi kakhulu, futhi ukubuka nokuzwa lokhu kubi nakakhulu.

Kodwa uma ubheka ngaphakathi, lesi yisimo esiphuthumayo lapho bobabili umzali nengane bedinga usizo. Ingane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi inecala noma cha, noma kunjalo ayikufanele ukuphathwa ngonya.

Futhi umzali ufinyelele ezingeni elibi futhi ngezenzo zakhe ulimaza ingane, ulimaza ubuhlobo futhi wengeze umuzwa wecala kuye. Kodwa akazenzi izinto ezimbi kanjena nje ngokuphazima kweso. Mhlawumbe lona ngumama noma ubaba okhathele ngokweqile okhulele ekhaya lezintandane, futhi banamaphethini okuziphatha anjalo ekucindezelekeni. Lokhu akulungisi noma ubani, kodwa kukuvumela ukuthi ubuke okwenzeka kancane ngaphandle.

Futhi kuvela ukuthi lesi simo sifana nokuphahlazeka kwendiza futhi kuyadingeka ukuthi umzali aqale afake imaski ye-oxygen yena, bese kuba ingane.

Yebo, konke lokhu kusebenza kulokho kubonakaliswa kobudlova lapho kungekho khona usongo oluqondile empilweni yomuntu. Uma uke wazibonela isigameko esishaywa ngokungagwegwesi - lena indiza esivele iphahlazekile, azikho izifihla-buso zomoya-mpilo ezizosiza - shayela usizo ngokushesha ongakwenza noma uzingenele.

Awukwazi ukushaya izingane!

Yebo, ukushaya futhi kuwubudlova, futhi into yokuqala ofuna ukuyenza ukukumisa ngokushesha. Kodwa yini ebangela le nhloso? Ukulahlwa, intukuthelo, ukwenqatshwa. Futhi yonke le mizwa iyaqondakala, ngoba izingane zizisola kakhulu.

Futhi kubonakala sengathi ungathola amagama alungile okuthi, njengokhiye «omlingo», azovula indlela yokuphuma emjikelezweni wodlame.

Kodwa uma umuntu wangaphandle efika kubaba othukuthele ethi: “Wenza izinto ezimbi enganeni yakho! Izingane akumele zishaywe! Ima!" - ucabanga ukuthi uzothunyelwa kude kangakanani nombono onjalo? Izinkulumo ezinjalo ziqhubeka kuphela nomjikelezo wodlame. Noma ngabe amagama athini, awukho, maye, awukho ukhiye womlingo ovula umnyango wenhliziyo yomzali othukuthele. Okufanele ngikwenze? Thula uhambe?

Inkundla yezokuxhumana igcwele izinkumbulo zabantu abadala ababehlukunyezwa beseyizingane. Babhala ukuthi babephupha ngaphezu kwakho konke ukuthi othile uzobavikela ngaleso sikhathi, kudala, lapho abazali babo bengenabulungisa noma banonya. Futhi kubonakala kithi ukuthi kungenzeka ukuphenduka kumuntu oseduze abe umvikeli, uma kungekhona thina, kodwa lokhu, ingane yomunye umuntu ... Kodwa ingabe kunjalo?

Inkinga wukuthi ukuqhamuka nokugxambukela ezindabeni zabo ngaphandle kwemvume yabahlanganyeli nakho kusuke kunodlame. Ngakho, ngezinhloso ezinhle, sivame ukuqhubeka nokungenamusa ngokuphelele. Lokhu kuyafaneleka ezimeni lapho udinga ukunqamula impi futhi ubize amaphoyisa. Kodwa esimweni esinomzali oklabalasayo nengane, ukungenelela kuzofaka ulaka ekukhulumisaneni kwabo.

Kuyenzeka ngisho ukuthi, enamahloni, umuntu omdala ukhumbula ukuthi "uphambi kwabantu", uzohlehlisa "izinyathelo zemfundo", kodwa ekhaya ingane izothola kabili.

Ingabe ayikho ngempela indlela yokuphuma? Futhi akukho esingakwenza ukusiza izingane?

Kukhona indlela yokuphuma, kodwa awukho ukhiye womlingo. Ngeke kwenzeke ukuthola amagama anjalo angasebenza ngokushesha kunoma yimuphi umzali futhi ayeke lokho esingakuthandi kakhulu nokulimaza izingane.

Abazali badinga isikhathi sokushintsha. Umphakathi udinga isikhathi sokushintsha. Ngokwezinye izinkolelo-mbono, ngisho noma abazali abaningi beqala ukusebenza ngokwabo okwamanje, bethula izindlela zokubeletha ezingenalo ubudlova, sizobona izinguquko eziphawulekayo kuphela ngemva kwezizukulwane ezingu-1-2.

Kodwa thina - ofakazi abavamile bokungabi nabulungisa kwabazali noma isihluku - singasiza ukuqeda umjikelezo wokuhlukumeza.

Kuphela ngale ndlela yokuphuma akukhona ngokulahlwa. Futhi ngolwazi, ukwesekwa nokuzwelana, futhi kancane kancane, ngezinyathelo ezincane.

Ulwazi, ukusekela, uzwela

Uma uke wabona isimo esisongela impilo yengane ngokuqondile (ukushaya ngokuqondile), yiqiniso, kufanele ubize amaphoyisa, ucele usizo, uqede ukulwa. Kwezinye izimo, isiqubulo esikhulu kufanele sibe "Ungalimazi."

Ulwazi ngeke neze lulimaze — ukudluliselwa kolwazi olumayelana nendlela udlame oluyilimaza ngayo ingane kanye nekusasa layo, ubuhlobo bomntwana nomzali. Kodwa lokhu akufanele kwenzeke ngesikhathi esingokomzwelo. Ngiyazazi izimo lapho amapheshana nomagazini mayelana nemfundo bephonswa ebhokisini leposi lomndeni owodwa. Inketho enhle yolwazi.

Noma ungabhala izindatshana, uthwebule amavidiyo, wabelane nge-infographics, ukhulume ngocwaningo lwakamuva lwabazali emicimbini yabazali.

Kodwa esimweni lapho umzali eshaya ingane, akunakwenzeka ukumtshela, futhi ukwahlulela akusizi futhi, mhlawumbe, kuyingozi. Udinga imaski ye-oxygen yomzali, uyakhumbula? Kunzima ukukukholwa, kodwa lena yindlela umjikelezo wodlame ophazanyiswa ngayo. Asinalo ilungelo lokukhulisa izingane zabanye abantu, kodwa singasiza abazali abacindezelekile.

Inselele enkulu ukuthola ngisho indawana yokuzwelana nalo muntu omdala ocasukile, othukuthele, oklabalasayo noma oshayayo. Kodwa ake ucabange nje ukuthi yena ngokwakhe washaywa kabi kangakanani eseyingane uma ekwazi ukwenza into enjalo.

Ungakwazi yini ukuthola ububele kuwe? Akuwona wonke umuntu ongazwelana nomzali esimweni esinjalo, futhi lokhu kuyinto evamile.

Uma ungathola uzwela ngaphakathi kuwena, ungazama ukungenelela ngobumnene ezigcawini zokuhlukunyezwa kwabazali. Into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukunikeza usizo kumzali ngokungathathi hlangothi ngangokunokwenzeka. Nazi izindlela ezimbalwa zokusiza.

Uziphatha kanjani?

Lawa macebiso angase abonakale engaqondakali, kodwa ngikholwe, ukusabela okunjalo okuzosiza kokubili ingane ecasuliwe kanye nomuntu omdala. Futhi hhayi nhlobo ukuklabalasa kwakho kumzali osevele ecasukile.

1. Buza: “Uyaludinga usizo? Mhlawumbe ukhathele? ngezwi lokuzwelana.

Umphumela ongaba khona: “CHA, hamba, akunamsebenzi wakho” impendulo okungenzeka ukuthi uyoyithola. Khona-ke ungaphoqeleli, usuvele wenze okuthile okubalulekile. Umama noma ubaba wenqabile usizo lwakho, kodwa lokhu kuwukwephula iphethini - abazange balahlwe, kodwa babonisa uzwela. Futhi umntwana wakubona - kuye futhi kuyisibonelo esihle.

2. Ungabuza kanje: “Kufanele ukuthi ukhathele kakhulu, mhlawumbe ngizokulethela inkomishi yekhofi esitolo esiseduze? Noma ufuna ngidlale nengane yakho ku-sandbox isigamu sehora, bese uhlala nje?

Umphumela ongaba khona: Abanye omama bazovuma ukwamukela usizo, kodwa, ekuqaleni, bayophinde babuze, benamahloni: “Nakanjani ungahamba uyongithengela ikhofi / i-tinker ebhokisini lesihlabathi, ingabe lokho kuzokwenza kube nzima kuwe?” Kodwa kunethuba lokuthi umama uzokwenqaba usizo lwakho. Futhi lokho kulungile. Wenze obungakwenza. Izinyathelo ezincane ezinjalo zibaluleke kakhulu, ngisho noma umphumela ungabonakali ngokushesha.

3. Abanye bethu bangathola kalula ukuthintana nabantu abangabazi, futhi uma leli kuyithalente lakho — khuluma nomama/ubaba okhathele, lalela futhi uzwele.

Umphumela ongaba khona: Kwesinye isikhathi «ukukhuluma nomuntu ongamazi esitimeleni» kuyaphilisa, kuwuhlobo lokuvuma izono. Kuyafana lapha - uma umuntu esethelwe ukwabelana ngokuthile okungokwakhe noma ukukhala, uzokuqonda lokhu. Jabula nganoma yimaphi amagama, zwela, noma yikuphi ukuhlanganyela okunjalo kuyoba usizo.

4. Gcina amakhadi ebhizinisi ambalwa esazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somkhaya futhi ngezinye izikhathi uhlanganyele nawe ngala mazwi: “Kwaba okufanayo ngentombi yami, yakhathala futhi ingane ayizange ilalele, futhi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sasiza.” Amakhadi ebhizinisi — alabo asebevumile ukwamukela usizo lwakho noma abazimisele ukukhuluma. Futhi lokhu kuyindlela "yokuthuthukisiwe" - akuwona wonke umuntu oqonda ukuthi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo singasiza kanjani, akuwona wonke umuntu ovuma ukusebenzisa imali kukho. Umsebenzi wakho ukunikeza.

Umphumela ongaba khona: Ukusabela kungaba okuhlukile - othile uzokukhipha ngenxa yenhlonipho, othile uzocabanga ngobuqotho ngokusebenzisa othintana naye owusizo, futhi othile uzothi: "Cha, ngiyabonga, asimdingi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo" - futhi unelungelo lokuthola usizo olunjalo. impendulo. Asikho isidingo sokugcizelela. Ukuthola impendulo ethi «Cha» akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi uma unomuzwa wokuthi ngandlela-thile uphatheke kabi noma udabukile ngalokhu, yabelana ngakho nothandekayo ozokwazi ukukusekela.

Zinakekele

Wonke umuntu unezinga lakhe lokwamukela udlame. Kwabanye, ukuklabalasa kuyinto evamile, kodwa ukushaya kakade kungaphezu kwamandla. Kwabanye, okujwayelekile ngezinye izikhathi, esimweni esibi kakhulu, ukushaya ingane. Kwabanye, isijeziso sebhande siyamukeleka. Abanye abantu abayamukeli nhlobo into enjalo.

Uma sibona ubudlova obungaphezu kokubekezela kwethu, kungalimaza. Ikakhulukazi uma ebuntwaneni bethu kwakukhona izijeziso, ukululazeka, ubudlova. Abanye banezinga elikhulayo lozwela, okungukuthi, bazwela kakhulu kunoma yiziphi izigcawu ezingokomzwelo.

Uma ulinyazwa izimo lapho abazali bengenanhlonipho ezinganeni zabo, kubalulekile ukuba uzinakekele. Qonda ukuthi kungani kubuhlungu kuwe, mhlawumbe thola imbangela futhi uvale ukulimala kwakho, uma, kunjalo, kukhona.

Namuhla, abazali abaningi bayaqaphela izingozi zokushaya kanye nebhande, kodwa akuwona wonke umuntu okwazi ukushintsha ukuziphatha kwabo. Labo abaphumelelayo nalabo abazamayo bazwela kakhulu ezigcawini zobudlova ezingahleliwe.

Ukuzinakekela kuzwakala kuwubugovu uma kuziwa endaweni eqashelwayo yobudlova. Kithina kubonakala sengathi ukwehlisa umkhawulo wethu wokuzwela ezimweni ezinjalo cishe kuwukukhaphela. Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuvula amathuba amasha - njengoba sisebenze ngokuhlukumezeka kwethu, senza kanje ngobugovu, sizothola indawo eyengeziwe kithi ukuze sizwelane, sisizwe. Kuvela ukuthi lokhu akusizi kithi kuphela, kodwa futhi nomphakathi wonkana. Phela, lapho abazali bezwela kakhulu esimweni esiphuthumayo, kuyoba ngcono ezinganeni zabo nasemindenini yabo, futhi umphakathi ongcono nosheshayo uzoshintsha.