Okuqukethwe
Leli cala lingelinye lamanye amaningi: ngemva kweminyaka eminingana emndenini wokutholwa, izingane ziphinde zaphelela ekhaya lezintandane. Abashadile u-Romanchuk abanezingane zokutholwa ezingu-7 bathuthela eMoscow besuka eKaliningrad, kodwa, bengazange bathole izibonelelo zemali, babuyisela izingane ekunakekelweni kombuso. Asizami ukufuna okulungile nokungalungile. Umgomo wethu uwukuqonda ukuthi kungani lokhu kwenzeka. Sixoxe nongoti abaningana ngalokhu.
Le ndaba yaqala eminyakeni emine edlule: umbhangqwana waseKaliningrad wamukela umfundi wesibili, ngemva konyaka - umfowabo omncane. Khona-ke - ezinye izingane ezimbili eKaliningrad futhi ezintathu, abafowethu nodadewethu, ePetrozavodsk.
Ngonyaka nengxenye edlule, umndeni wathuthela eMoscow, kodwa wehluleka ukuthola isimo somndeni wokutholwa kwedolobha elikhulu futhi wanda izinkokhelo zengane ngayinye (ama-ruble angu-85 esikhundleni sama-ruble angu-000 wesifunda). Ngemva kokuthola ukwenqatshwa, lo mbhangqwana wabuyisela izingane ekunakekelweni kukahulumeni.
Ngakho izingane zagcina sezihlala ekhaya lezintandane laseMoscow. Ezine kuzo zizobuyiselwa ekhaya lezintandane laseKaliningrad, futhi izingane ezivela ePetrozavodsk zingatholwa esikhathini esizayo esiseduze.
"LETHA USHIYE ABANTWANA kusihlwa - LOKHU KUSHO KAKHULU"
Vadim Menshov, umqondisi we-Nash Dom Family Education Assistance Center:
Isimo eRussia uqobo sesiphenduke ukuqhuma. Ukudluliselwa kwezingane ngamaqembu amakhulu emindenini kuyinkinga. Ngokuvamile abantu baqhutshwa izithakazelo ze-mercantile. Akubona bonke, kodwa kulokhu kwenzeka kanjalo, futhi izingane zagcina ekhaya lezintandane. Ngisebenza kahle kakhulu nemindeni ekhulisa izingane ezingochwepheshe. Kodwa igama eliyinhloko lapha lithi «professional».
Konke kuhlukile lapha. Zahlulele wena: umndeni waseKaliningrad uthatha izingane ezivela esifundeni sabo, kodwa uhamba nazo ukuya eMoscow. Izingane zinikeza isibonelelo: ngenani lama-ruble ayi-150. ngenyanga - kodwa lokhu akwanele emndenini, ngoba uqasha indlu enkulu. Inkantolo yenza isinqumo esingavuni abanakekeli - futhi balethe izingane ekhaya lezintandane laseMoscow. Iziphathimandla ezigada izingane zithembisa ukuvakashela izingane, ziziyise ekhaya ngempelasonto ukuze zingazizwa zilahliwe, futhi ngemva kwesikhathi esithile zizihambise unomphela. Kodwa abanakekeli bayenqaba ukwenza kanjalo.
Abafana baqeqeshwe kahle, baziphathe kahle, kodwa izingane azizange zikhale futhi azizange zimemeze: "Mama!" Isho okuningi
Izingane zalethwa ekhaya lezintandane futhi zahamba sekuhlwile. Ngikhulume nabo, abafana bahle kakhulu: baqeqeshwe kahle, baziphatha kahle, kodwa izingane azizange zikhale futhi azizange zimemeze: "Mama!" Lokhu kukhuluma kakhulu. Nakuba umfana omdala - oneminyaka eyishumi nambili - ukhathazeke kakhulu. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sisebenza naye. Sivame ukukhuluma ngenkinga yezingane ezivela ezintandaneni: azinawo umuzwa wothando. Kodwa lezi zingane zikhulele emndenini ongeyena…
"ISIZATHU ESIPHAMBILI SOKUBUYISWA KWEZINGANE UKUSHISA NGOMZWELO"
U-Olena Tseplik, inhloko ye-Find a Family Charitable Foundation:
Kungani zibuyiselwa izingane ezikhuliswa? Ngokuvamile, abazali babhekana nokuphambuka okukhulu kokuziphatha enganeni, abazi ukuthi benzeni ngakho, futhi abatholi usizo. Ukukhathala okukhulu, ukuqhuma kwemizwelo kuqala. Ukulimala kwakho okungakaxazululwa kanye nezinye izinkinga zingavela.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, akunakushiwo ukuthi ukukhuliswa komzali okungeyena umzali kuvunyelwe umphakathi. Umndeni wokutholwa uzithola usuhlukaniswa nomphakathi: esikoleni, ingane yokutholwa iyacindezelwa, izihlobo nabangane bakhipha amazwi agxekayo. Abazali babhekana nokutubeka nakanjani, abakwazi ukwenza lutho ngokwabo, futhi akukho lapho bengathola khona usizo. Futhi umphumela uyimbuyiselo.
Kudingeka ingqalasizinda ezosiza imindeni ekuhlumelelweni kwengane. Sidinga izinsiza ezifinyelelekayo zokusekela nabaphathi bezenhlalakahle bemindeni, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, abameli, othisha abazobe belungele "ukuthatha" noma iyiphi inkinga, basekele umama nobaba, babachazele ukuthi izinkinga zabo zivamile futhi ziyaxazululeka, futhi basize ngesixazululo.
Kukhona okunye «ukwehluleka kwesistimu»: noma yisiphi isakhiwo sombuso nakanjani singabi indawo esekelayo, kodwa igunya elilawulayo. Kuyacaca ukuthi ukuhambisana nomndeni, ubumnandi obukhulu buyadingeka, okunzima kakhulu ukufeza ezingeni likahulumeni.
Uma bebuyisela i-adoptive, khona-ke lokhu, ngokuyisisekelo, isimo esingenzeka - ingane yegazi icabanga
Kumele kuqondwe ukuthi ukubuya kwengane ekutholwa ekhaya lezintandane kubangela ukuhlukumezeka okukhulu kuwo wonke amalungu omndeni. Ngomntwana ngokwakhe, ukubuya kungesinye isizathu sokuphelelwa ithemba kumuntu omdala, uvale futhi uphile yedwa. Ukuphambana kokuziphatha ezinganeni ezitholwayo akubangelwa izakhi zofuzo ezimpofu, njengoba sivame ukucabanga, kodwa ngenxa yokuhlukumezeka umntwana akuthola emndenini wokuzalwa kwe-asocial, ngesikhathi sokulahlekelwa kwayo nangesikhathi sokukhuliswa ngokuhlanganyela ekhaya lezintandane. Ngakho-ke, ukuziphatha okubi kuwukubonakaliswa kobuhlungu obukhulu bangaphakathi. Ingane ibheka indlela yokudlulisela kubantu abadala ukuthi kubi futhi kunzima kangakanani, ngethemba lokuthi izoqondwa futhi yelashwe. Futhi uma kukhona ukubuya, kumntwana empeleni kuwukuqaphela ukuthi akekho oyoke akwazi ukuzwa futhi amsize.
Kukhona nemiphumela yezenhlalo: ingane ebuyiselwe ekhaya lezintandane mancane kakhulu amathuba okuthi iphinde ithole umndeni. Abazokhethwa kubazali bokutholwa babona uphawu lokubuya efayeleni lomuntu siqu lengane futhi bacabange ngesimo esibi kakhulu.
Kubazali abahlulekayo ukutholwa, ukubuyela kwengane ekhaya lezintandane nakho kuwukucindezeleka okukhulu. Okokuqala, umuntu omdala usayina okwakhe ukutshona. Okwesibili, uyaqonda ukuthi uyamkhaphela umntwana, futhi uhlakulela umuzwa wecala ozinzile. Njengomthetho, labo abahamba ngokubuya kwengane yokutholwa badinga ukuvuselelwa isikhathi eside.
Yiqiniso, kunezinye izindaba lapho abazali, bezivikela, bebeka icala lokubuyela kumntwana ngokwakhe (waziphatha kabi, engafuni ukuhlala nathi, engasithandi, engalaleli), kodwa lokhu kumane nje. ukuzivikela, futhi ukuhlukumezeka ngenxa yokungabi nazimali kwakhe akupheli.
Futhi-ke, kunzima kakhulu ngezingane zegazi ukuba zibe nezimo ezinjalo uma ababheki bazo benazo. Uma ingane yokutholwa ibuyiselwe, khona-ke lokhu, empeleni, kuyisimo esingenzeka - yile ndlela ingane yemvelo ecabanga ngayo lapho "umfowabo" noma "udadewabo" wayizolo enyamalala empilweni yomndeni futhi ebuyela ekhaya lezintandane.
"UDABA ISEKUPHELELENI KOHLELO LWAKHO"
U-Elena Alshanskaya, inhloko ye-Charitable Foundation "Amavolontiya okusiza izintandane":
Ngeshwa, ukubuya kwezingane ezindlini zezintandane akuhlukanisiwe: kunezingaphezu kwezi-5 zazo ngonyaka. Lena inkinga eyinkimbinkimbi. Akukho ukuvumelana kusistimu yedivayisi yomndeni, ngiyaxolisa nge-tautology. Kusukela ekuqaleni, zonke izinketho zokubuyisela ukunakekelwa komndeni noma ukunakekelwa komndeni akwenziwanga ngokwanele, isigaba sokukhetha abazali bengane ngayinye, nazo zonke izici zayo, isimo sengqondo, izinkinga, akubekwa phansi, akukho ukuhlolwa izinsiza zomndeni ngokusekelwe ezidingweni zengane.
Akekho osebenza nengane ethile, ngokulimala kwayo, ekunqumeni umkhondo wempilo ayidingayo: kungcono yini ukuthi abuyele ekhaya, emndenini owandisiwe noma komunye omusha, nokuthi kufanele kube luhlobo luni lwalo ukumfanela. Ingane ngokuvamile ayikulungele ukuthuthela emkhayeni, futhi umkhaya ngokwawo awuzimisele ukuhlangabezana nale ngane ethile.
Ukwesekwa komndeni ngongoti kubalulekile, kodwa akutholakali. Kukhona ukulawula, kodwa indlela okuhlelwa ngayo ayisho lutho. Ngokusekelwa okuvamile, umndeni ubungeke usuke ngokuzumayo, esimweni sokungaqiniseki, ukuthi uzohlala kuphi futhi ngani nezingane ezitholwa kwenye isifunda.
Izibopho akuzona ezomndeni wokutholwa kuphela maqondana nengane, kodwa futhi nezombuso maqondana nezingane.
Ngisho noma kunqunywa ukuthi, ngokwesibonelo, ngenxa yezidingo zezokwelapha zomntwana, kudingeka adluliselwe kwesinye isifunda lapho kunomtholampilo ofanelekayo, umndeni kufanele udluliselwe esandleni uye kwesinye uye kubaphathi abaphelezelayo ensimini. , konke ukunyakaza kufanele kuvunyelwane kusengaphambili.
Enye inkinga izinkokhelo. Ukusabalala kukhulu kakhulu: kwezinye izifunda, inkokhelo yomndeni wokutholwa ingaba inani lama-ruble angu-2-000, kwezinye - ama-ruble angu-3. Futhi lokhu, yiqiniso, kubangela imikhaya ukuba ithuthe. Kuyadingeka ukudala uhlelo lapho izinkokhelo zizolingana noma zilingane - yiqiniso, kucatshangelwa izici zezifunda.
Ngokwemvelo, kufanele kube nezinkokhelo eziqinisekisiwe endaweni lapho umndeni ufika khona. Izibopho akuzona kuphela ezomndeni wokutholwa maqondana nengane, kodwa futhi nezombuso maqondana nezingane wona uqobo ozidlulisele emfundweni. Ngisho noma umndeni usuka esifundeni uye kwesinye, lezi zibopho azikwazi ukususwa kuhulumeni.
"IZINGANE ZISINDE EKULIMENI OKUBI"
U-Irina Mlodik, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, i-gestalt Therapist:
Kule ndaba, cishe sizobona kuphela isihloko seqhwa. Futhi, ngokubona yena kuphela, kulula ukusola abazali ngokuhaha nesifiso sokwenza imali kubantwana (nakuba ukukhulisa izingane zokutholwa akuyona indlela elula yokuthola imali). Ngenxa yokuntuleka kolwazi, umuntu angabeka kuphela izinguqulo. Nginezintathu.
- Inhloso yobugovu, ukwakha inhlanganisela eyinkimbinkimbi, ama-pawns okuyizingane kanye nohulumeni waseMoscow.
— Ukungakwazi ukudlala indima yabazali. Ngakho konke ukucindezeleka nobunzima, lokhu kwaholela ekuphazamisekeni kwengqondo nokulahlwa kwezingane.
- Ukuhlukana okubuhlungu nezingane kanye nokuphulwa kokunamathela - mhlawumbe abanakekeli baqonda ukuthi ngeke bakwazi ukunakekela izingane, futhi bethemba ukuthi omunye umndeni uzokwenza kangcono.
Ungazitshela izingane ukuthi laba abadala babengakakulungeli ukuba abazali bazo. Bazamile kodwa abaphumelelanga
Esimweni sokuqala, kubalulekile ukwenza uphenyo ukuze kungabi khona izibonelo ezinjalo. Okwesibili nokwesithathu, umsebenzi wombhangqwana nodokotela wezengqondo noma i-psychotherapist ungasiza.
Uma, nokho, ababheki benqaba ngenxa yezisusa zobugovu kuphela, umuntu angatshela izingane ukuthi laba bantu abadala babengakakulungeli ukuba abazali babo. Bazamile kodwa abaphumelelanga.
Kunoma ikuphi, izingane zahlukumezeka kakhulu, zalahlekelwa ukuphila, zanqanyulwa izibopho ezinengqondo, zaphelelwa ukwethemba abantu abadala. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda ukuthi kwenzekeni ngempela. Ngoba kungenye into ukuphila nokuhlangenwe nakho kokuthi “wawusetshenziswa abakhohlisi,” futhi okunye ukuphila nokuhlangenwe nakho kokuthi “abazali bakho behlulekile” noma “abazali bakho bazama ukukunikeza yonke into, kodwa behluleka futhi bacabanga ukuthi abanye abantu abadala. ngizokwenza kangcono."
Umbhalo: Dina Babaeva, Marina Velikanova, Yulia Tarasenko.