Okuqukethwe
Ukuzizwa uphephile, ukuthola ukwesekwa, ukubona izinsiza zakho, ukukhululeka - ubudlelwano obuseduze bukuvumela ukuba ube nguwe futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo uthuthuke futhi ukhule. Kodwa akuwona wonke umuntu ongathatha ingozi futhi alinge ukuba seduze. Indlela yokunqoba isipiliyoni esibuhlungu futhi uphinde ungene ebuhlotsheni obunzima, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somndeni uVarvara Sidorova.
Ukungena ebudlelwaneni obuseduze kusho ukuthatha ingozi nakanjani. Phela, ngenxa yalokhu sidinga ukuvulela omunye umuntu isifuba, ukuze singakwazi ukuzivikela phambi kwakhe. Uma esiphendula ngokungaqondi noma esilahla, nakanjani siyohlupheka. Wonke umuntu uke wabhekana nalesi simo esibuhlungu ngendlela eyodwa noma enye.
Kodwa thina, naphezu kwalokhu - abanye ngokunganaki, abanye ngokucophelela - siphinde sithathe le ngozi, silwela ukusondelana. Kwani?
“Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuyisisekelo sobuntu bethu,” kusho umelaphi womndeni uVarvara Sidorova. “Angasinika umuzwa oyigugu wokulondeka (futhi ukulondeka kuqinisa ukusondelana). Kithina, lokhu kusho: Nginokusekela, ukuvikelwa, indawo yokukhosela. Ngeke ngilahleke, ngiyakwazi ukwenza isibindi futhi ngikhululeke kakhudlwana emhlabeni ongaphandle.
uziveze
Othandekayo wethu uba isibuko sethu lapho singazibona khona ngokukhanya okusha ngokuphelele: okungcono, okuhle kakhulu, okuhlakaniphe kakhulu, okufanelekile kunalokho esasikucabanga ngathi. Lapho othandekayo ekholelwa kithi, kuyasikhuthaza, kuyasikhuthaza, kusinika amandla okukhula.
“Esikhungweni bengizibona ngiyigundane elimpunga, ngesaba nokuvula umlomo phambi kwabantu. Futhi wayeyinkanyezi yethu. Futhi bonke ubuhle bavele bangincamela! Ngangikwazi ukukhuluma futhi ngize ngiqophisane naye amahora amaningi. Kwavela ukuthi yonke into engangiyicabanga iyodwa yayithakazelisa omunye umuntu. Wangisiza ukuba ngikholelwe ukuthi mina njengomuntu ngibalulekile. Lolu thando lwabafundi lwashintsha ukuphila kwami,” kukhumbula uValentina oneminyaka engu-39.
Lapho sithola ukuthi asisodwa, ukuthi sibalulekile futhi siyathakazelisa kwabanye ababalulekile, lokhu kusinika isisekelo.
“Uma sithola ukuthi asisodwa, ukuthi sibalulekile futhi siyathandeka kwabanye ababalulekile, lokhu kusinika ukwesekwa,” kuphawula uVarvara Sidorova. - Ngenxa yalokho, singaqhubeka, sicabange, sithuthukise. Siqala ukuzama ngesibindi esikhulu, silawula umhlaba. ” Kusebenza kanje ukwesekwa okunikezwa wukusondelana kwethu.
vuma ukugxekwa
Kodwa “isibuko” singagqamisa futhi amaphutha ethu, ukushiyeka ebesingafuni ukukubona kithi noma ebesingawazi ngisho nokuwazi ngawo.
Kunzima ukuba sivumelane neqiniso lokuthi omunye oseduze akakwamukeli konke okungaphakathi kwethu, ngakho-ke ukutholwa okunjalo kubuhlungu kakhulu, kodwa futhi kunzima kakhulu ukukuxosha.
“Ngolunye usuku wangitshela: “Uyazi ukuthi iyini inkinga yakho? Awunawo umbono!» Ngesizathu esithile, le nkulumo yangishaya kakhulu. Nakuba ngingaqondanga ngokushesha ukuthi wayesho ukuthini. Ngangilokhu ngicabanga ngaye ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kancane kancane, ngabona ukuthi wayeqinisile: Ngesaba kakhulu ukukhombisa ubumina bami bangempela. Ngaqala ukufunda ukuthi «cha» futhi ngivikele isikhundla sami. Kwavela ukuthi akwethusi kangako,” kusho u-Elizabeth oneminyaka engu-34.
“Angibazi abantu abangenawo owabo umbono,” kusho uVarvara Sidorova. — Kodwa othile uwugcina kuye, ukholelwa ukuthi umbono womunye ubaluleke kakhulu futhi ubaluleke kakhulu. Lokhu kwenzeka lapho ukusondelana kubaluleke kakhulu komunye walaba ababili kangangokuthi ngenxa yakhe ulungele ukuzidela, ukuhlanganisa nomlingani. Futhi kuhle uma uzakwethu enikeza iseluleko: yakha imingcele yakho. Kodwa, kunjalo, udinga ukuba nesibindi nesibindi ukuze uyizwe, uyibone futhi uqale ukushintsha.”
Kwazise umehluko
Othandekayo angasisiza ukuba selaphe amanxeba angokomzwelo ngokubonisa ukuthi abantu banokwethenjelwa, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo sithole ukuthi thina ngokwethu singakwazi ukuzidela nokufudumala.
U-Anatoly oneminyaka engu-60 uthi: “Ngisho ngisemusha, nganquma ukuthi ubuhlobo obungathi sína kwakungeyona into yami. - Abesifazane babonakala beyizidalwa ezingabekezeleleki kimi, ngangingafuni ukubhekana nemizwelo yabo engaqondakali. Futhi ngineminyaka engu-57, ngathandana ngokungalindelekile futhi ngashada. Kuyangimangaza ukuzithola ukuthi nginesithakazelo emizweni yomkami, ngizama ukumqaphela nokunaka naye.
Ukusondelana, ngokuphambene nokuhlanganisa, kuhilela ukuthi sivumelane nomunye umlingani, futhi yena, usivumela ukuba sibe yithi.
Isinqumo sokulahla ubuhlobo obuseduze ngokuvamile siwumphumela wesenzakalo esibuhlungu, kuphawula u-Varvara Sidorova. Kodwa ngokukhula, lapho labo abake basikhuthaza ngokwesaba ukusondelana bengasekho eduze, singakwazi ukuzola kancane futhi sinqume ukuthi ubuhlobo bungase bungabi yingozi kangako.
“Lapho sesilungele ukuvuleka, sivele sihlangane nomuntu esingamethemba,” kuchaza umelaphi.
Kodwa ubudlelwano obuseduze abunangqondo kuphela ezinganekwaneni. Kuba nezingqinamba uma siphinda siqonda ukuthi sehluke kangakanani.
“Ngemva kwemicimbi yase-our country, kwavela ukuthi mina nomkami sasisezikhundleni ezihlukene. Baxabana, baxabana, kwacishe kwafika isehlukaniso. Kunzima kakhulu ukwamukela ukuthi umlingani wakho ubona umhlaba ngendlela ehlukile. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, saba nokubekezelela okwengeziwe: noma yini umuntu angase ayisho, okusihlanganisayo kunamandla kunalokho okusihlukanisayo,” kusho uSergey oneminyaka engu-40 ubudala. Ukuhlangana nomunye kukuvumela ukuthi uthole izinhlangothi ezingalindelekile kuwe, uthuthukise izimfanelo ezintsha. Ukusondelana, ngokuphambene nokuhlanganisa, kuhilela ukwamukela omunye umlingani wethu, naye, osivumela ukuba sibe yithi. Lapha yilapho sifana khona, kodwa yilapho sihluke khona. Futhi kusenza sibe namandla.
UMaria, oneminyaka engu-33, waba nesibindi ngaphansi kwethonya lomyeni wakhe
"Ngithi: kungani?"
Ngakhuliswa ngokuqinile, ugogo wangifundisa ukwenza yonke into ngohlelo. Ngakho ngiyaphila: zonke izinto zihleliwe. Umsebenzi onzima, izingane ezimbili, indlu—ngingakwazi kanjani ukwenza ngaphandle kokuhlela? Kodwa angizange ngiqaphele ukuthi kunezinkinga zokubikezela kuze kube yilapho umyeni wami engizisa ngakho. Ngihlale ngimlalela, ngakho ngaqala ukuhlaziya ukuziphatha kwami futhi ngabona ukuthi ngangijwayele ukulandela iphethini nokugwema ukuchezuka kuyo.
Futhi umyeni akesabi okusha, akagcini ngokujwayelekile. Ungiphusha ukuthi ngibe nesibindi, ngikhululeke, ngibone amathuba amasha. Manje ngivame ukuthi kimi: “Kungani?” Ake sithi mina, umuntu ongathandi kwezemidlalo ngokuphelele, manje sengiya eqhweni ngamandla nokukhulu. Mhlawumbe isibonelo esincane, kodwa kimina kuyinkomba.