Ubunzima bomndeni, izinkinga zesikole, noma ukukhula okungaqinile, izizathu zokubonisana nodokotela bengqondo bezingane ziningi kakhulu futhi ziyahlukahluka. Kodwa singalindelani kulokhu kubonisana, futhi kufanele sikubeke nini endaweni? Miningi-ke imibuzo abazali abangazibuza yona.

Akunamsebenzi futhi akunakwenzeka ukubala lapha zonke izizathu ezicindezela abazali ukuba bacabangele ukubonisana kwengane yabo. Umqondo ojwayelekile uwukunaka futhi ukwazi ukubona noma yiziphi izimpawu noma ukuziphatha okungavamile nokukhathazayo kwengane.

Izimpawu zokuqala zokuhlupheka ezinganeni nasebancane zingaba yingozi (ukuphazamiseka kokulala, ukucasuka, njll.) kodwa futhi zikhathazeke kakhulu (ukuphazamiseka kokudla, ukudabuka, ukuzihlukanisa, njll.). Eqinisweni, lapho ingane ihlangabezana nobunzima engakwazi ukuyixazulula yedwa noma ngosizo lwakho, kufanele uqaphe.

Ukukusiza uqonde ukuthi yiziphi izizathu zokubonisana, nazi ezivame kakhulu ngokuya ngeminyaka:

• Ezinganeni ezingaphansi kweminyaka engu-3 ubudala, kuvame ukubambezeleka kwentuthuko kanye nokuphazamiseka kokulala (amaphupho amabi, ukuqwasha…);
• Lapho beqala isikole, abanye bakuthola kunzima ukuhlukana nabazali babo noma bakuthola kunzima kakhulu ukugxilisa ingqondo kanye/noma nokuzijabulisa. Izinkinga zokuhlanzeka nazo zingavela;
• Bese kuthi ku-CP naku-CE1, kuvele izinkinga ezithile, ezinjengokukhubazeka kokufunda, i-dyslexia noma ukuxakeka ngokweqile. Ezinye izingane nazo ziqala ukuba namahloni (ikhanda elibuhlungu, isisu esibuhlungu, i-eczema…) ukufihla ukuhlupheka okujulile;
• Kusukela ekungeneni ekolishi, ezinye izinkathazo ziphakama: ukuklolodelwa nokuhlukaniswa nezinye izingane, ubunzima bokwenza umsebenzi wesikole, ukungajwayelani kahle nesikole “sabantu abadala”, izinkinga ezihlobene nobusha.I-anorexia, bulimia, umlutha wezidakamizwa…);
• Okokugcina, ukufika esikoleni esiphakeme ngezinye izikhathi kubangela ubunzima ekukhetheni i-orientation, ukuphikiswa nabazali noma ukukhathazeka okuhlobene nobulili.

Kunzima kubazali ukwahlulela ukuthi ingane yabo iyaludinga yini usizo olungokwengqondo noma cha. Uma unokungabaza, ungangabazi ukufuna izeluleko kubantu abazungeze ingane yakho nsuku zonke (abagqugquzeli bezingane, othisha, njll.).

Imvamisa, abazali babheka ukubonisana no isazi sezengqondo lapho ilungu lomndeni elilodwa noma ngaphezulu engakwazi ukubhekana nalesi simo. Isigaba sezimpawu zokuqala sesidlulile futhi ukuhlupheka kusungulwe kahle. Ngakho-ke kunzima kakhulu ukuhlola, ukulinganisa nokweluleka isikhathi esinikeziwe sokuqala ukubonisana. Ngokushesha nje lapho kunokungabaza okuncane, kuyenzeka ukhulume nodokotela wezingane noma udokotela olandela ingane yakho ukuze acele umbono futhi mhlawumbe iseluleko kanye nokuxhumana nochwepheshe.

Futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, landela umzwelo wakho! Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yengane yakho nguwe. Lapho izimpawu zokuqala zokushintsha kokuziphatha, kungcono ukuxhumana naye. Mbuze imibuzo ngempilo yakhe yasesikoleni, ukuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi uzizwa kanjani. Zama ukuvula inkhulumomphendvulwano ukuze umsize ethule futhi athulule isifuba. Lesi isinyathelo sokuqala sangempela sokumvumela ukuthi abe ngcono.

Futhi uma, naphezu kwemizamo yakho emihle kanye nayo yonke imizamo yakho yokuxhumana, isimo sihlala sivinjiwe futhi ukuziphatha kwaso kuhlukile kulokho ojwayele ukukwenza, ungangabazi ukubonisana nochwepheshe.

Ngaphambi kweseshini yakhe yokuqala, iqhaza labazali ukuchaza nokuqinisekisa ingane ngenqubekela phambili yomhlangano. Mtshele ukuthi uzohlangana nomuntu ojwayele ukusebenza nezingane futhi kuzofanele adwebe, adlale futhi akhulume nalo muntu. Ukwenza idrama yokubonisana kuzomvumela ukuthi akucabangele ngokuzola futhi abeke izingqinamba ohlangothini lwakhe ukuze athole umphumela osheshayo.

Isikhathi sokulandelwa siyehluka kakhulu ngokuya ngengane nenkinga ezolashwa. Kwabanye abantu i-floor izokhishwa ngemva kweseshini, kanti abanye kuzothatha isikhathi esingaphezu konyaka ukuthulula isifuba. Kodwa into eyodwa eqinisekile, lapho ukwelashwa kuhilela ingane encane, kuba mfushane.

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, indima yabazali iwujuqu. Ngisho noma ukuba khona kwakho ngesikhathi sokuqokwa kungavamile, udokotela uzodinga ukuthembela ekukhuthazeni kwakho futhi aqinisekise ukuthi unesivumelwano sakho sokugxambukela empilweni yomndeni wakho ngokubuza ingane futhi akwazi ukukunikeza izeluleko ezakhayo.

Ukuze ukwelashwa kuphumelele, wonke umndeni kufanele uzizwe uhilelekile futhi ukhuthazekile.