Izinkinga zengqondo azibonakali ngaso sonke isikhathi ekuziphatheni okungajwayelekile, okuphambukayo. Ngokuvamile, lokhu kuwumzabalazo wangaphakathi wabantu "abavamile" -ababukeka, abangabonakali kwabanye, "izinyembezi ezingabonakali emhlabeni". Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKaren Lovinger ngokuthi kungani kungekho muntu onelungelo lokunciphisa izinkinga zakho ezingokwengqondo kanye nobunzima obhekene nabo.
Empilweni yami, ngiye ngahlangana nezihloko eziningi ezikhuluma ngezinkinga abantu abanesifo “esingabonakali” ababhekana nazo - leso abanye abasibheka “njengembumbulu”, esingakufanelekeli ukunakwa. Ngiphinde ngafunda ngabantu izinkinga zabo ezingathathwa njengezibalulekile abangani, izihlobo kanye nezingcweti uma bedalula ingaphakathi, nemicabango ecashile kubo.
Ngiyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo futhi nginenkinga yokukhathazeka komphakathi. Ngisanda kuhambela umcimbi omkhulu obuhlanganise ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo: odokotela bengqondo, odokotela bengqondo, abacwaningi nothisha. Esinye sezikhulumi sikhulume ngendlela entsha yokwelapha futhi ngesikhathi sethula inkulumo sibuze izethameli ukuthi ukugula ngengqondo kubuthinta kanjani ubuntu.
Omunye waphendula ngokuthi umuntu onjalo ubhekana nezinkinga ekuphileni kwakhe siqu. Omunye uphakamise ukuthi abantu abagula ngengqondo bahlupheke. Ekugcineni, omunye wabahlanganyeli waphawula ukuthi iziguli ezinjalo azikwazanga ukusebenza ngendlela evamile emphakathini. Futhi akekho ezilalelini owayephikisana naye. Kunalokho, wonke umuntu wanqekuzisa amakhanda ebonisa ukuvuma.
Inhliziyo yami yayishaya ngokushesha futhi ngokushesha. Ngokwengxenye ngenxa yokuthi ngangingazazi izethameli, ngokwengxenye ngenxa yokuphazamiseka kwami kokukhathazeka. Futhi futhi ngoba ngacasuka. Akekho noyedwa kochwepheshe abaqoqiwe owake wazama ukuphikisa isimangalo sokuthi abantu abanezinkinga zempilo yengqondo abakwazi ukusebenza “ngokujwayelekile” emphakathini.
Futhi lesi yisona sizathu esiyinhloko sokuthi izinkinga ze-"high-functioning" abantu abanezinkinga zengqondo ngokuvamile azithathwa ngokungathí sina. Ngiyakwazi ukuhlukumezeka ngaphakathi kimina, kodwa ngibukeke ngijwayelekile futhi ngenze imisebenzi ejwayelekile usuku lonke. Akunzima kimi ukuqagela ukuthi yini ngempela abanye abantu abayilindele kimi, indlela okufanele ngiziphathe ngayo.
Abantu “abasezingeni eliphezulu” abalingisi ukuziphatha okuvamile ngoba befuna ukukopela, bafuna ukuhlala beyingxenye yomphakathi.
Sonke siyazi ukuthi umuntu ozinzile ngokomzwelo, ojwayelekile ngokwengqondo kufanele aziphathe kanjani, indlela yokuphila eyamukelekayo okufanele ibe yiyo. Umuntu “ovamile” uvuka nsuku zonke, azihlele, enze izinto ezidingekayo, adle ngesikhathi futhi alale.
Ukusho ukuthi akulula kubantu abanezinkinga ezingokwengqondo kuwukungasho lutho. Kunzima, kodwa kusengenzeka. Kulabo abasizungezile, isifo sethu siba singabonakali, futhi abasoli ngisho nokuthi siyahlupheka.
"Abaphezulu" abantu balingisa ukuziphatha okuvamile hhayi ngoba befuna ukukhohlisa wonke umuntu, kodwa ngoba befuna ukuhlala beyingxenye yomphakathi, bafakwe kuwo. Lokhu bakwenza futhi ukuze babhekane nesifo sabo ngokwabo. Abafuni abanye babanakekele.
Ngakho-ke, umuntu oseqophelweni eliphezulu udinga isibindi esanele sokucela usizo noma ukutshela abanye ngezinkinga zabo. Laba bantu basebenza usuku nosuku ukuze benze umhlaba wabo «ojwayelekile», futhi ithemba lokulahlekelwa yilo libi kakhulu kubo. Futhi lapho, ngemva kokuhlanganisa sonke isibindi sabo nokuphendukela kochwepheshe, babhekene nokuphika, ukungaqondi kahle nokuntula uzwela, kungaba igalelo langempela.
Ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka komphakathi kungisiza ukuthi ngiqonde ngokujulile lesi simo. Isipho sami, isiqalekiso sami.
Ukucabanga ukuthi abantu abanezinkinga zempilo yengqondo abakwazi ukusebenza «ngokuvamile» emphakathini kuyiphutha elikhulu.
Uma uchwepheshe engathathi izinkinga zakho ngokungathi sína, ngikweluleka ukuthi uzethembe ngaphezu kombono womunye umuntu. Akekho onelungelo lokubuza noma lokululaza ukuhlupheka kwakho. Uma uchwepheshe ephika izinkinga zakho, ubuza ikhono lakhe.
Qhubeka ufuna uchwepheshe ozimisele ukukulalela futhi uthathe imizwa yakho ngokungathi sína. Ngiyazi ukuthi kunzima kangakanani uma ufuna usizo kudokotela wezengqondo, kodwa abakwazi ukukunikeza ngoba abakwazi ukuqonda izinkinga zakho.
Ukubuyela endabeni yomcimbi, ngathola amandla okukhuluma, naphezu kokukhathazeka nokwesaba ukukhuluma phambi kwezilaleli engingazazi. Ngachaza ukuthi kwakuyiphutha elibi ukucabanga ukuthi abantu abanezinkinga zempilo yengqondo babengakwazi ukusebenza ngendlela evamile emphakathini. Kanye nokucabangela ukuthi ukusebenza kusho ukungabi bikho kwezinkinga ezingokwengqondo.
Isikhulumi asitholanga ukuthi siphendule ngithini ekuphawuleni kwami. Wancamela ukusheshe avumelane nami futhi waqhubeka nesethulo sakhe.
Mayelana Nombhali: UKaren Lovinger ungumbhali wezengqondo kanye nombhali wezengqondo.