Yini okufanele owesifazane ayenze ngaphambi kweminyaka engu-30?

"Iwashi liyamaka!", "Ukuphi ngaphandle kwediploma?", "Ingabe ufuna ukuhlala uyincekukazi endala?!" - izixwayiso nemibuzo enjalo ihlupha labo abaphambukile ezindinganisweni ezamukelekile futhi baphila ngokuvumelana neskripthi sabo. Ukushushiswa, ukuphoqelelwa ukuzizwa unecala nokungafaneleki.

Mhlawumbe owesifazane, ngokuphambene nalokho, akanalo lutho kunoma ubani? Akunjalo neze ngaleyo ndlela. Okungenani, sonke sidinga:

1. Qaphela ukuthi asikweleti lutho omunye umuntu ngaphandle kwethu

Izibopho ziyizinto ezivimbela abaningi ukuba baphile ukuphila okuzuzisa ngempela. Iqoqo lezitembu nezimo zengqondo likhawulela amathuba okuzikhethela, lishayela ohlakeni, lichoboza ngomuzwa wokungabekezeleleki wezindima ezibekiwe futhi, ngenxa yalokho, kuholela ku-neurosis. Abesifazane abaphila ngaphansi kwejoka lezibopho, ngokuvamile lapho beneminyaka engamashumi amathathu (futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nangaphambi kwalokho) bambozwa igagasi elinamandla lokukhungatheka ngenxa yokungenzeki kokuphelela nokuhlangabezana nakho konke okulindelekile.

Ngakho lapho uqaphela ngokushesha ukuthi akekho omunye ngaphandle kwakho onegunya lokubhala incwadi yokuphila kwakho, yilapho uyozinika iminyaka ejabulisayo.

2. Ukwehlukana nabazali, ulondoloze ubuhlobo obuhle nabo

Njengoba sihlala emkhayeni wabazali, asikwazi ukuthatha ngokugcwele imisebenzi yomuntu omdala. Ngokwengqondo, sibambelele esimweni sobungane, sokuncika, ngisho noma siziphekela futhi siziphilela.

Uma ngaphambi kweminyaka engu-30 ungalokothi uzithole uwedwa unezinkinga zabantu abadala, izinselele, izibopho kanye nezinqumo, uzibeka engcupheni yokuhlala “uyindodakazi kamama” unomphela.

3. Yelapheka ekuhlukumezekeni kwasebuntwaneni

Ngeshwa, abantu abambalwa endaweni ye-post-Soviet babenobuntwana obuhle. Abaningi baye bahamba nemithwalo yezikhalazo ezingaxolelwe, izimo zengqondo ezimbi kanye nezinkinga zengqondo. Kodwa ukuphila nayo akulona ikhambi elingcono kakhulu. Ukuhlukumezeka okufihlekile kwasebuntwaneni kungaphazamisa ukufeza izinhloso, ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo, nokuhlola iqiniso ngokwanele. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuzisebenzela uwedwa noma, ezimweni ezinzima kakhulu, kanye nodokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo.

4. Yembula futhi wamukele ubuntu bakho

Ukuba nguwe kuyikhono elibaluleke ngendlela emangalisayo abaningi abalahlekelwayo lapho bekhula. Siqala ukuqalaza, sizame ukujabulisa othile, siziphathe ngendlela engavamile, silahlekelwe ukuhluka, sikhohlwe ngamathalenta namandla. I-Inner Critic ivuka kithi, enqaba imibono, ihlekise izifiso, futhi ibambezele ukunyakaza okuya emigomweni.

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukuthi ungowohlobo oluthile, onesethi eyingqayizivele yezimfanelo. Ungazami ukuba omunye umuntu. Kunalokho, hlola izici zakho futhi uzizwe ukhululekile ukukhombisa ubuwena bangempela. ⠀

5.Thola isitayela sakho

Isitayela sisisiza ukuthi siziveze, futhi lapho sineminyaka engamashumi amathathu kungaba kuhle ukuqonda ukuthi yimuphi umlayezo ozama ukuwudlulisela ngaphandle, isiphi isithombe ofuna ukusidala, imiphi imizwa ohlose ukuyivusa kwabanye. Isitayela sixhunywe ngokungenakuhlukaniswa nekhono lokuzethula. Kubalulekile ukuthi owesifazane omdala akwazi kahle kahle ukuze aziveze ngokucacile nangokucacile, ngisho nangaphandle kwamagama.

6. Chaza izindinganiso zakho

Amagugu ayisisekelo sempilo yethu. Ngaphandle kokuqonda kwabo, asazi ukuthi yini okufanele sithembele kuyo, kusiphi isisekelo sokwenza izinqumo, indlela yokubeka phambili; asazi ukuthi yini esondlayo futhi isinika umuzwa wokugcwala kokuphila.

Yini ebaluleke ngempela kuwe? Inkululeko? Umndeni? Intuthuko? Indalo? Ngaphambi kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu, kuyafiseleka ukuthi ufunde isethi yamagugu akho ayisisekelo udlulele futhi uqale ukwakha impilo esekelwe kuwo.

7. Thola injongo bese ulandela indlela yakho

Ngenhloso, umuntu akufanele aqonde into eyodwa empilweni, kodwa umsebenzi obalulekile womuntu. Okwenza kangcono kunabanye, lokho ohlale udonseleka kukho. Lokho ngaphandle kwakho awuyena wena. Isibonelo, ubeka itafula ngobuhle, usonga izipho zabangane kahle, bheka izinto zokuhlobisa zefulethi lakho. Kufana ngani lokhu? Aestheticization, isifiso sokudala ubuhle. Lona umsebenzi oyinhloko, inhloso yakho, ongayisebenzisa ngezindlela ezihluke ngokuphelele.

8. Thola "iphakethe lakho"

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izibopho eziningi ezaziqhutshwa imihlangano yokuzijabulisa kuphela ziyanqamuka, futhi kungase kubonakale sengathi ushiywe wedwa, ungenabo abangane nabantu obajwayele. Ukuvimbela lokhu ukuthi kungenzeki, udinga ukuzungeza nalabo ohlanganiswe nabo ngezindinganiso nezintshisakalo. Makube khona abambalwa kubo, kodwa bayoba abantu okunethezeka ngempela futhi okufudumele, ukuxhumana okugcwele futhi okukhuthazayo.

9. Qala ukunakekela umzimba wakho

Kuyinto efiselekayo ukuqonda kusenesikhathi ukuthi umzimba uyikhaya lethu lokuphila. Akuyona indlu eqashiwe lena, awukwazi ukuphuma kuyo uma kuqhuma ipayipi. Yiphathe ngokucophelela, nakekela impilo yakho, bheka isisindo sakho, yiya ezivivinyweni zokuzivikela, dlala imidlalo, yidla ngendlela efanele, nakekela isikhumba sakho.

10. Funda ukuphatha kahle izinsiza

Isikhathi, imali namandla yizinsiza eziyinhloko ozidingayo ukuze ukwazi ukuphatha, ngaphandle kwalokho wonke amaphupho azohlala izinqaba esihlabathini.

Ngaphambi kweminyaka yobudala engama-30, kubaluleke kakhulu ukushintsha isimo sengqondo somthengi uye ekutshaleni imali - ukufunda indlela yokutshala imali ngokuhlakanipha, futhi ungayichithi, ukuqondisa imizamo kumaphrojekthi abalulekile, futhi ungachithi ngokuphonsa okungenamsebenzi, ukwaba isikhathi ngokunengqondo, futhi ungasisebenzisi emahoreni amaningi okubuka izinhlelo ze-TV noma unamathele ezinkundleni zokuxhumana.

Yiqiniso, lokhu kungenziwa ngemva kwamashumi amathathu. Kodwa, uma uvala lezi zinkinga ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka, ungavikela impilo egcwele injabulo nokuphumelela, injabulo nenjongo.