I-Psychology

Ngezinye izikhathi asiyiboni nhlobo imingcele yethu, futhi ngezinye izikhathi, ngokuphambene nalokho, sisabela kabuhlungu ekuphuleni kancane kwabo. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Futhi yini ehlanganisiwe endaweni yethu yomuntu siqu?

Kunomuzwa wokuthi emphakathini wethu kunenkinga yemingcele. Asijwayele kakhulu ukuzizwa nokubavikela. Ucabanga ukuthi kungani sisenobunzima kulokhu?

USofia Nartova-Bochaver: Ngempela, isiko lethu lemingcele lisebuthakathaka. Kunezizathu ezinhle zalokhu. Okokuqala, umlando. Ngingathi amasiko asho. Siyizwe elihlangene, umqondo wobuKatolika ubulokhu ubaluleke kakhulu eRussia. Abantu baseRussia, abaseRussia bebelokhu bebelana ngendawo yabo yokuhlala nabanye abantu.

Ngokuvamile, abakaze babe nendawo yabo yangasese lapho babezoba bodwa khona. Ukulungela komuntu ngamunye umakhelwane nomunye kwaqiniswa isakhiwo sombuso. Njengoba sasihlala esimweni esivaliwe, imingcele yangaphandle yayiqinile, kuyilapho engaphakathi yayingafihli lutho. Lokhu kwaholela ekulawuleni okunamandla kakhulu yizinhlaka zomphakathi.

Ngisho nezinqumo ezijulile ezinjalo zomuntu siqu, ezifana, ngokwesibonelo, zokuhlukanisa noma ukungadivosi, kwakumelwe kuxoxwe ngazo futhi zigunyazwe okuvela phezulu.

Lokhu kungenelela okunamandla empilweni yomuntu siqu kusenze singayizwa nhlobo imingcele esizibekela yona futhi ngokuzenzela. Manje isimo sesishintshile. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuhwebelana kwembulunga yonke: sonke siyahamba futhi sibheke amanye amasiko. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwavela impahla yangasese. Ngakho-ke, indaba yemingcele isibaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa asikho isiko, azikho izindlela zokuvikela imingcele, ngezinye izikhathi zihlala zingathuthukisiwe, ziyizinsana noma ezinobugovu ngokweqile.

Uvame ukusebenzisa umqondo onjalo njengobukhosi bomuntu ngamunye, okukhumbuza ngokushesha ubukhosi bombuso. Ufakani kukho?

Ngokuqondene nokufana phakathi kombuso nomuntu, kufaneleka ngokuphelele. Kokubili ukungezwani phakathi kwabantu nezingxabano phakathi kwezifundazwe kuvela ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo. Kokubili umbuso kanye nabantu babelana ngezinsiza ezahlukene. Kungaba indawo noma amandla. Futhi kubantu kuwulwazi, uthando, uthando, ukuqashelwa, udumo ... Sihlala sabelana ngakho konke lokhu, ngakho sidinga ukubeka imingcele.

Kodwa igama elithi «sovereignty» alisho nje ukwehlukana, liphinde lisho ukuzibusa. Asigcini nje ngokubiyela ingadi yethu, kodwa kufanele sitshale okuthile kulesi sivande. Futhi okungaphakathi, kufanele sikulawule, sikuhlale, sikuhlele ngokwakho. Ngakho-ke, ubukhosi buwukuzimela, ukuzimela, ukuzimela, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo futhi kuwukuzilawula, ukugcwala, okuqukethwe.

Ngoba uma sikhuluma ngemingcele, sisuke sisho ukuthi sihlukanisa okuthile kokuthile. Asikwazi ukwehlukanisa ukungabi nalutho nokuze.

Yiziphi izingxenye eziyinhloko zobukhosi?

Ngingathanda ukuphendukela lapha kuWilliam James, umsunguli we-pragmatism in psychology, owathi, ngomqondo obanzi, ubuntu bomuntu buyingqikithi yakho konke angakubiza ngokuthi okwakhe. Hhayi nje kuphela izimfanelo zakhe ezingokomzimba noma ezingokwengqondo, kodwa nezingubo zakhe, indlu, unkosikazi, izingane, okhokho, abangane, idumela nezisebenzi, izindawo zakhe, amahhashi, izikebhe, izikhulu.

Abantu baziveza ngempela, bazihlanganise nabanakho. Futhi leli yiphuzu elibalulekile.

Ngoba, kuye ngesakhiwo sobuntu, lezi zingxenye zemvelo zingahluka ngokuphelele.

Kunomuntu ozihlanganisa ngokuphelele nomqondo wakhe. Ngakho-ke, amanani nawo ayingxenye yesikhala somuntu siqu, esiqiniswa ngenxa yobukhosi. Singathatha owethu umzimba lapho, kunjalo. Kunabantu okuthi imizimba yabo ibaluleke kakhulu kubo. Ukuthinta, ukuma okungakhululekile, ukwephulwa kwemikhuba yomzimba - konke lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kubo. Bazolwa ukuze kungenzeki lokhu.

Enye ingxenye ethokozisayo yisikhathi. Kuyacaca ukuthi sonke siyizidalwa zesikhashana, zesikhashana. Noma yini esiyicabangayo noma esiyizwayo, iyenzeka njalo ngesikhathi esithile nasemkhathini, ngaphandle kwakho asikho. Singabuphazamisa kalula ubuntu bomunye umuntu uma simphoqa ukuba aphile ngendlela ehlukile kweyakhe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, sihlala sisebenzisa izinsiza zomugqa futhi.

Ngomqondo obanzi, imingcele iyimithetho. Imithetho ingase ikhulunywe, ivezwe, noma isho okuthile. Kithina kubonakala sengathi wonke umuntu ucabanga ngendlela efanayo, uzizwa ngendlela efanayo. Siyamangala lapho sithola kungazelelwe ukuthi akunjalo. Kodwa, ngokuvamile, abantu abafani bonke.

Ucabanga ukuthi kunomehluko emqondweni wobukhosi, ngomqondo wemingcele phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane?

Ngokungangabazeki. Uma sikhuluma ngokuvamile ngamadoda nabesifazane, sinezingxenye zethu esizithandayo zendawo yomuntu siqu. Futhi lokho okubamba iso kuqala kusekelwa inani elikhulu locwaningo: amadoda alawula insimu, ukubaluleka nokuthanda izindlu ezithengiswayo. Futhi abesifazane banokunamathela okwengeziwe «ezihambayo». Abantu besifazane bayichaza kanjani imoto? Njengowesifazane kakhulu, ngicabanga ukuthi: imoto yami isikhwama sami esikhulu, isiqephu sendlu yami.

Kodwa hhayi endodeni. Unobudlelwane obuhluke ngokuphelele: lokhu kuyimpahla, umlayezo mayelana namandla namandla ami. Kunjalo ngempela. Okuhlekisayo, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zaseJalimane zake zabonisa ukuthi lapho umnikazi ezihlonipha kakhulu, usayizi wenjini emotweni yakhe uba mncane.

Amadoda ayaqina kakhulu uma kuziwa emikhubeni yemithi

Abesifazane bayizidalwa eziguquguqukayo, ngakho-ke thina, ngakolunye uhlangothi, sishintsha imikhuba yombuso ngokuguquguqukayo, futhi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, asicasulwa kabuhlungu uma kukhona okubakhuthaza ukuba bashintshe. Kunzima emadodeni. Ngakho-ke, lokhu kufanele kucatshangelwe. Uma lesi sici sibonwa, singase singalawuleka.

Indlela yokusabela ezimweni lapho sinomuzwa wokuthi imingcele yethu yephuliwe? Ngokwesibonelo, emsebenzini noma emkhayeni, siba nomuzwa wokuthi othile ungena endaweni yethu, akasinaki, ucabanga imikhuba yethu nalokho akuthandayo ngathi, noma usiphoqelela okuthile.

Ukusabela okunempilo ngokuphelele ukunikeza impendulo. Lena impendulo eqotho. Uma "sigwinya" okusikhathazayo futhi singanikezi impendulo, ngakho-ke asiziphathi ngokwethembeka kakhulu, ngaleyo ndlela sikhuthaza lokhu kuziphatha okungalungile. Umuntu oxoxa naye angase angaqageli ukuthi asikuthandi.

Ngokuvamile, izinyathelo zokuvikela umngcele zingaba eziqondile noma ezingaqondile. Futhi lapha konke kuncike ebunkingeni bomuntu siqu be-interlocutor. Uma izingane ezincane kakhulu noma abantu abalula, abancane bekhulumisana, khona-ke kubo impendulo ephumelela kakhulu cishe iyoba impendulo eqondile, isibuko. Upake imoto yakho endaweni yami yokupaka - yebo, ngakho-ke ngokuzayo ngizopaka eyami kweyakho. Ngobuchwepheshe kuyasiza.

Kodwa uma uxazulula izinkinga zamasu kanye nethuba lokuxhumana okuthembisayo nalo muntu, lokhu, yiqiniso, akuphumelelanga kakhulu.

Lapha kuyasiza ukusebenzisa izindlela ezingaqondile zokuzivikela: amacebo, izikhundla, indida, ukuboniswa kokungavumelani komuntu. Kodwa hhayi ngolimi lapho indawo yethu yaphulwa khona, kodwa ngamazwi, kwenye indawo, ngokususa, ngokungazinaki othintana nabo.

Akufanele sikhohlwe ukuthi imingcele ayigcini nje ngokuhlukanisa ubuntu bethu nabanye, ivikela nabanye abantu kithi. Futhi kumuntu ovuthiwe, lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu.

Lapho u-Ortega y Gasset ebhala ngokuqaphela abantu abaningi nangabantu ababiza ngokuthi “abantu abaningi” ngokungafani nezicukuthwane, waphawula ukuthi izicukuthwane zazijwayele ukucabangela abanye, hhayi ukubangela ukuphazamiseka kwabanye, futhi kunalokho ukunganaki ukunethezeka kwakhe kwabanye. amacala ngamanye. Ngoba amandla awadingi ubufakazi, futhi umuntu ovuthiwe angadebeselela ngisho nokuphazamiseka okuphawulekayo kuye - ukuzethemba kwakhe ngeke kuphele kulokhu.

Kodwa uma umuntu evikela imingcele yakhe kabuhlungu, khona-ke kithi izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sobuthakathaka bale mingcele. Abantu abanjalo banamathuba amaningi okuba ngamakhasimende kadokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo, futhi ukwelashwa kwengqondo kungabasiza ngempela. Kwesinye isikhathi lokho esikucabanga njengokuqaliswa empeleni kungokunye ngokuphelele. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi ungakwazi ngisho nokukuziba. Uma sikhuluma ngokuchaza imingcele yethu, kuhlale kuyindaba yekhono lokuveza ukuthi "ngifuna", "ngidinga", "ngifuna" futhi ngiqinise leli khono ngamakhono esiko lokuzithiba.


Inhlolokhono yaqoshwa iphrojekthi ehlangene yomagazini we-Psychologies nomsakazo "Isiko" "Isimo: Ebudlelwaneni."

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