Qonda futhi uthethelele: kungani ukhohliswe

Phakathi neminyaka edlule, ngiye ngeluleka imibhangqwana eminingi eye yabhekana nokungathembeki. Ngokuvamile, zombili izinhlangothi zazibhekana nobunzima ngaleso sikhathi. Ngiye ngakubona kaningi ukuphelelwa ithemba okujulile nokucindezeleka kwabantu abashintshile. Ngokuvamile babevuma ukuthi bona babengasilindele isinyathelo esinjalo kubo futhi babengaqapheli ukuthi yini eyababangela ukuba benze lesi senzo.

Abalingani abakhashelwa baphawula ukuthi manje ukholo lwabo kubantu selubhujisiwe. “Umhlaba wami usuguqukile. Ngeke ngisakwazi ukwethemba muntu futhi, ”Ngizwe lesi sisho esivela kuzo zonke iziguli ezabhekana nokukhashelwa othandekayo.

Kodwa umkhuba wami ubonise nokuthi uma abantu befuna ukugcina ubudlelwano futhi banikezane ithuba lesibili, cishe kukhona indlela yokuphuma. Futhi isinyathelo sokuqala ukuthola nokuxoxa ngembangela yokukhaphela. Nazi ezivame kakhulu kuzo, ngokusho kokuqaphela kwami.

1. Isisulu sesilingo

Akulula ukumelana uma indoda ebukekayo noma ubuhle behlala bekunikeza izimpawu zokukunaka. Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho usephenduke isisulu somuntu ophila impilo ehlanganisa izindaba zesikhashana. Abantu abanjalo banelisa kakhulu ukoma kwabo kwenjabulo futhi bathola ubufakazi obungenakuphikwa bokuheha kwabo.

Angikuvuni nangayiphi indlela lokhu kuziphatha, futhi angizami ukubukela phansi icala leqembu elikhohlisayo. Njengesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, ngimane ngisho iqiniso lokuthi lokhu kuyinto evamile. Kukhona abantu abangakwazi ukwenqaba ngokuqinile izincomo kanye nentuthuko. Futhi abanye basengozini yezimpawu zokunakwa. Bahileleka emdlalweni «nomkhohlisi» futhi abakwazi ukuma ngesikhathi.

2. Ithuba lokugcina

Lapho sikhula, sibheka kaningi emuva futhi sizibuze ukuthi siphuthelwe okuthile okubalulekile ekuphileni. Ukugcwalisa isikhala esithile, siqala ukubheka imizwa emisha. Kwabanye, lokhu kuwukuzilibazisa okuthakazelisayo, ukuhamba noma enye imfundo.

Abanye bazama ukuvala izikhala kwezocansi. Ngokwesibonelo, owesifazane owashada kusenesikhathi uyaqaphela ukuthi ngeke abe khona amanye amadoda ekuphileni kwakhe, futhi lokhu kuyamethusa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amadoda angaphezu kweminyaka engu-40, avame ukuba nobudlelwano namantombazane amancane ukuze aphinde avuselele imizwa yawo eminyakeni engu-20 edlule.

3. Ubugovu

Abanye abantu baba narcissistic kakhulu ngokukhula kangangokuba bavele banqume ukuthi ngeke baphile ngemithetho. Abaqapheli ukuthi ukukhaphela kwabo kungalimaza noma kumcasule othandekayo. Bazikhathalela bona kanye nenjabulo yabo kuphela.

Ngokuvamile, izimo ezinjalo zenzeka emibhangqwaneni lapho omunye wabalingani ngesikhathi somshado ephumelele kakhulu ebhizinisini noma ethuthuke kakhulu enkonzweni. "Ibhalansi yamandla" ishintshile kusukela ngesikhathi behlangana, futhi manje omunye wabashadile uqala ukucabanga ukuthi akasabophekile ukugcina isifungo sokwethembeka.

4. Inkinga yobudlelwano

Ngezinye izikhathi ukukopela kubonakala kuyindlela elula nenengqondo kunazo zonke yokuthi umlingani oyedwa aqede ubuhlobo obusuphelile. Ake sithi abashadile kudala bezizwa bengabazi, akukho abangakukhuluma futhi abagculisi embhedeni, kodwa abafaki isehlukaniso ngenxa yezingane noma ngezinye izizathu.

Khona-ke ukukhashelwa, umlingani athola ngakho, kuba yindlela yokuphuma kulesi simo. Ngezinye izikhathi le logic yezenzakalo ivela ngisho ngokungazi.

5. Ukukopela njengesidambi sokucindezeleka

Icala elivamile ekusebenzeni kwami. Ezama ukuzithokozisa futhi abaleke esimisweni sansuku zonke "sekhaya lomsebenzi", omunye wabalingani uqala ukuphila impilo eyimfihlo.

Isidingo sokufihla nokufihla umkhondo, imiyalezo yokuhlola nezingcingo ebusuku, ingozi yokubanjwa kanye nokwesaba ukuchayeka - konke lokhu kubangela ukugijima kwe-adrenaline, futhi impilo iqala ukudlala imibala ekhanyayo futhi. Nakuba, ngombono wami, ukwelashwa kokucindezeleka yi-psychoanalyst kulokhu kuzobiza kancane kuwo wonke umqondo wegama.

6. Indlela yokukhulisa ukuzethemba

Ngisho nabantu abazethemba kakhulu bayakujabulela ukuthola ukuqinisekiswa kokukhanga kwabo nokuhluka kwabo. Ngakho-ke, ngemva kokuthandana okuncane ohlangothini, owesifazane uzwa ukukhuphuka kwamandla, uyaqonda ukuthi usenesithakazelo futhi efiselekayo. Nokho, usengamthanda umyeni wakhe. Ukuze uvimbele lokhu kungenzeki, zama ukunikeza umlingani wakho ukuncoma okuqotho kaningi, gubha impumelelo yakhe kanye nempumelelo yakhe.

7. Indlela yokukhipha amagqubu

Sonke sivame ukuthukuthela futhi sicasulwe umlingani. “Awulokothi ulalele engikushoyo,” lo wesifazane ucasukile futhi uthola induduzo ezandleni zesithandwa sakhe, esikulungele ukumlalela nokusisekela. “Unikela ngaso sonke isikhathi sakho ezinganeni, kodwa ungikhohliwe,” kusho umyeni bese eya enkosikazini yakhe, engachitha ubusuku bonke naye.

Izikhalazo ezincane zivame ukukhula zibe ukunganeliseki. Futhi lokhu kuyindlela eqondile yokuthi omunye wabalingani bazohamba bayofuna injabulo, ukuqonda noma induduzo ohlangothini. Ukuze ugweme lokhu, kwenze kube umthetho kanye ngesonto, isibonelo, ngaphambi kokulala, ukuqhuba izingxoxo ze-psychotherapeutic ezicacile ngesihloko esithi "Ngakucasula kanjani / ngikucasula kanjani".