Ngamunye wethu uke wazizwa enesizungu okungenani kanye empilweni yakhe. Kodwa-ke, kubantu abaningi, ukuphunyuka kulesi simo kuba nomkhuhlane kanye nokuphelelwa ithemba. Kungani sesaba isizungu futhi ubuhlobo nomama buhlobene ngani nakho, kusho udokotela wezifo zengqondo uVadim Musnikov.
Khumbula, ingabe wake wahlangana nabantu abanobungane ngokweqile, kwaze kwafika eqophelweni lokuthatheka, bantu? Eqinisweni, lokhu kuziphatha kuvame ukuvela kungenye yezibonakaliso eziningi ezicashile zesizungu esijulile sangaphakathi.
Engqondweni yesimanje kukhona umqondo we-autophobia - ukwesaba okubangelwa isizungu. Lona umuzwa oyinkimbinkimbi ngempela, futhi izimbangela zawo ziningi futhi ziningi. Ukufingqa, singasho ukuthi isizungu esijulile siwumphumela wobudlelwane obunganelisi ezigabeni zokuqala zokuthuthuka komuntu. Kalula nje, ukwephulwa kobudlelwane phakathi kukamama nomntwana.
Ikhono lokuba wedwa, okungukuthi, ukungazizwa ungelutho lapho uwedwa, liwubufakazi bokuvuthwa ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi usana olusanda kuzalwa ludinga ukunakekelwa, ukuvikelwa nothando. Kodwa akubona bonke abantu besifazane abakwaziyo, njengoba isazi se-psychoanalyst saseBrithani uDonald Winnicott sabhala, sokuba "umama omuhle ngokwanele." Ayiphelele, ayishoda, futhi ayibanda, kodwa "ilungile ngokwanele."
Usana olunengqondo engavuthiwe ludinga ukusekelwa okuthembekile okuvela kumuntu omdala - umama noma umuntu owenza imisebenzi yakhe. Nganoma yikuphi usongo lwangaphandle noma lwangaphakathi, ingane ingaphendukela entweni kamama futhi izizwe "iphelele" futhi.
Izinto eziguqukayo zenza kabusha isithombe sikamama oduduzayo futhi zisize ekufinyeleleni izinga elidingekayo lokuzimela.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izinga lokuthembela kumama liyancipha futhi imizamo yokuxhumana ngokuzimela neqiniso iqala. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, izinto ezibizwa ngokuthi izinto ezishintshayo zivela esakhiweni somqondo wengane, ngosizo lapho ethola khona induduzo nenduduzo ngaphandle kokubamba iqhaza komama.
Izinto eziguqukayo zingaba izinto ezingaphili kodwa ezinengqondo, njengamathoyizi noma ingubo yokulala, esetshenziswa ingane lapho ihlukanisa ngokomzwelo nento eyinhloko yothando phakathi nokucindezeleka noma ukulala.
Lezi zinto zenza kabusha isithombe sikamama oduduzayo, zinikeze inkohliso yenduduzo futhi zisize ekufinyeleleni izinga elidingekayo lokuzimela. Ngakho-ke, zibaluleke kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni ikhono lokuba yedwa. Kancane kancane, kuba namandla ku-psyche yengane futhi yakhelwe ebuntwini bakhe, ngenxa yalokho, ikhono langempela lokuzizwa ngokwanele yedwa livela.
Ngakho-ke enye yezimbangela ezingenzeka zokwesaba isizungu ngumama ongakwazi ukuzwela, ongakwazi ukucwiliswa ngokugcwele ekunakekeleni umntwana noma ongakwazi ukuqala inqubo yokusuka kuye ngesikhathi esifanele. .
Uma umama elumula ingane ngaphambi kokuba ilungele ukwanelisa izidingo zayo iyodwa, ingane ihoxa ekuzihlukaniseni nomphakathi futhi ithathe indawo yamaphupho. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, izimpande zokwesaba isizungu ziqala ukwakha. Ingane enjalo ayinalo ikhono lokududuza nokuzithiba ngokwayo.
Besaba ukusondelana abakufunayo.
Empilweni yabantu abadala, laba bantu babhekana nezinkinga ezinkulu lapho bezama ukwakha ubudlelwano. Bahlakulela isidingo esikhulu sokusondelana ngokomzimba, «ukuhlanganisa» nomunye umuntu, ukuze bafune ukwanga, ukuphakelwa, ukuphululwa. Uma isidingo singaneliseki, khona-ke ukufutheka kuvela.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, besaba ukusondelana kakhulu abakufisayo. Ubudlelwano buba okungenangqondo, bushube kakhulu, bugunyazwe, bube nesiphithiphithi, futhi busabise. Abantu abanjalo abanozwela olukhethekile babamba ukulahlwa ngaphandle, okubafaka ekuphelelweni ithemba okujulile. Abanye ababhali bakholelwa ukuthi umuzwa ojulile wesizungu uwuphawu oluqondile lwe-psychosis.