"Izimpawu zokunakwa": indlela yokubona ingozi engemuva kwazo

Ngangineminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu, mhlawumbe eyishumi nesithupha. Indawo yesigameko yimoto kamasipala waseMoscow, ihora lokugijima. Ukuthintwa kwendoda emi ngemuva akuzange kwenzeke ngengozi - kunzima ukuchaza ukuthi ukuzethemba okunjalo kuvelaphi, kodwa futhi akunakwenzeka ukudideka.

Ngaleso sikhathi, ngase ngivele ngazi ukuthi kufanele ngihambe. Noma, uma unesibindi, phenduka futhi ubheke ngokucophelela ngangokunokwenzeka: khona-ke indoda, mhlawumbe, ithatha umhlalaphansi. Nokho, ukuthi nje bakhona “abantu abanjalo,” kusho abazali. Yiqiniso, akekho owachaza ukuthi abantu “abanjalo” babeyini, njengoba nje kungekho noyedwa owathi umuntu angase abonakale engeyona ingozi.

Ngibe sengiphuma nje emotweni. Angizange ngicabange ngaleso siqephu iminyaka eminingi ngaze ngabona isigameko esifanayo ngesizini yesibili yemfundo yezocansi. Kuqhawekazi, u-Aimee, yonke into yaphela kahle ekugcineni - njengoba kwenzeka kimi.

Kodwa, okokuqala, kuvela ukuthi sisekhona asikwazi ukuzivikela ezimeni ezifana nalezi. Futhi okwesibili, izibalo zibonisa ukuthi kwabesifazane abaningi bathatha ukuphenduka okungajabulisi kakhulu. Ngakho wazi kanjani ukuthi indoda «enentshisekelo» ingaba yingozi?

Ukudlala ngothando noma ukuhlukumeza?

"Yini manje, futhi awukwazi ukukhombisa izimpawu zokunaka intombazane?!" — ukuphawula okunjalo kuvame ukuzwakala emadodeni ngokwawo futhi kufundwe ngaphansi kwezindaba ezimayelana nokubonakaliswa okungafanele “kokudlala ngothando” emsebenzini nasezindaweni zomphakathi.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Arina Lipkina sinikeza izinqubo eziningana, ngokusekelwe lapho umuntu angaqonda ukuthi indoda ebonisa "isithakazelo" ingaba yingozi ngempela.

1. “Ngibona umgomo, angiboni izithiyo”

Enguqulweni enempilo, isimo sokudlala ngothando sisho ukuthi indoda ebonisa isithakazelo kowesifazane iyakwazi ukuzwa futhi yamukele ukwenqaba. Ukuhlonipha ilungelo lakhe lemingcele yomuntu siqu kanye nelungelo lokungaphindiseli, uzomane ashiye intombazane yedwa futhi aphule ukuxhumana. Mhlawumbe ngisho nokuphuma emotweni noma endaweni yokudlela, uma sikhuluma ngokwazana endaweni yomphakathi.

“Enye yezincazelo zokudlala ngothando izwakala kanje: kuwumdlalo olinganayo phakathi kwabantu ababili, ophela lapho nje umuntu oyedwa ewushiya lo mdlalo,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.

— Lokhu kusho ukuthi uma owesifazane efuna ukuphuma “kumdlalo”, futhi indoda ingakakulungeli ukumuzwa ethi “cha” futhi ibheka noma yiziphi izenzo zakhe noma ukungenzi lutho njengokusabela okuhle ekudlaleni kwakhe ngothando, sikhuluma ngokusongela ukuziphatha okungaholela ekuhlaselweni, ulaka nodlame. “Ukungezwa okukhethekile” okunjalo kuwuphawu lokuqala lwe-alamu.

2. Hhayi nje amazwi

Esinye isibonakaliso siwukusetshenziswa kwamagama kanye nokuncoma okucacile kobulili esimweni lapho intombazane ingazange inikeze isizathu esincane salokhu.

Ngendlela, ngokusho "kwesilinganiso sokuhlukunyezwa" esihlongozwe umqeqeshi nomqeqeshi uKen Cooper, izinga lokuqala yilokho okubizwa ngokuthi "ukuhlolwa kobuhle". Lokhu kuhlanganisa njenge izincomo ezithinta ucansi, kanye "nokuvumela" amakhwela noma ukucwayiza.

Amanye amazinga “ukuhlola ingqondo” (“ukukhumula” ngokubukeka, amahlaya anenhlamba, izipesheli ezingafanele) kanye nokuthintana ngokomzimba: kuqala “ngokuthintana nomphakathi” (ukugona, ukubeka isandla ehlombe lakho) nokuphetha ngokuthi ... empeleni, into engathandeki kakhulu ongayicabanga.

Yiqiniso, konke lokhu kungabangelwa izinga eliphansi lamasiko omuntu, kodwa nokho kufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuthi lokhu kungaba uphawu oluyingozi.

3. "Ummese enhliziyweni"

Ngokusho kukaLipkina, kufanele futhi uqaphele uma indoda isabela ngokuqinile futhi ngokucasuka ukwenqaba noma ukuthi intombazane imane nje indiva amazwi nokuziphatha kwayo. “Ngemva kwentukuthelo kuleli cala kukhona intukuthelo, engaphumela ezenzweni eziyingozi,” kunezela isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.

- Kunoma yikuphi, kungcono kakhulu ukweqisa ingozi kunokuba ungayibukeli phansi, ngaphandle kwalokho konke kungaphetha ngokuthi indoda izophendukela ezenzweni zomzimba - uzozama ukuvimba umgwaqo, ukubamba isandla sakhe - noma ukuhlambalaza, izinsolo zokuthi intombazane "yanikeza amasignali."

Lokhu kusho ukuthi kunoma yisiphi isimo lapho ungenakho ukwesekwa - abangani abaseduze, indawo oyijwayele, abantu ongaphendukela kubo uma kwenzeka noma yini - kufanele uqikelele ukuzivikela ngangokunokwenzeka.

Futhi-ke, uma indoda isesimweni esishintshile sokuqaphela, isibonelo, ngaphansi kwethonya lotshwala noma izidakamizwa, khona-ke lokhu kwenza isimo sibe yingozi kakhulu. Kumele uzame ukuzehlukanisa nomuntu onjalo ngaso leso sikhathi.

Akulula ukwenza lokhu - okokuqala nje ngokwengqondo - kodwa ungazilungiselela kusengaphambili noma yisiphi isimo ngokudlula esipesheli. ukuqeqeshwa kwe-inthanethi emsamo Sukumayakhelwe nguL'Oreal Paris. Ungakwazi futhi ukujwayelana nomthetho othi "5D" lapho - izinketho ezinhlanu ezingenzeka ezimweni ezinjalo zibethelwe kuleli gama: I-Disorient, Bonisa ukusekela, Thumela, Idokhumenti, Umthetho.

Kwethulwa ngefomethi yevidiyo ebonakalayo, enezibonelo zempilo yangempela, lo mthetho kulula ukuwukhumbula futhi ungasetshenziswa yinoma ubani oke wabona ukuhlukunyezwa ezindaweni zomphakathi ukuze ukuhlehla umhlaseli futhi ukwenze ngokuphepha ngangokunokwenzeka kuwe, isisulu kanye nabanye, uhlola kahle umongo kanye namandla adonsela phansi isimo.

Futhi ekugcineni. Noma ngabe iyiphi indima ozithola ukuyo - izisulu zokunakwa okungafanele noma isibukeli sangaphandle - zama ukuthembela njalo ukuthambekela kwakho okungokwemvelo. Uma ucabanga ukuthi indoda iyingozi kuwe noma komunye wesifazane, cishe akubonakali kuwe. Futhi ngokuqinisekile akufanele ubuze lo muzwa futhi uhlole ukuthi uqinisile noma cha.