Agasti. Ebusuku. Isakhiwo samafulethi ephaneli. Intombazane ima kuvulandi ngaphansi kophahla futhi iyabhema. Ngehle, emnyango, ngibheke phezulu futhi ngiyamamatheka. Ngesizathu esithile nginethoshi ephaketheni lami. Ngiyayivula, ngibhala ngezinhlamvu ezilula emoyeni omnyama: "Ngiyakuthanda." Ukuqomisana kuyikhono lokuxhumana, ikhono lokuhumusha nokufunda izimpawu, namuhla okuhlanganisa nokubona ukuphinyiswa kwezithonjana, izimpawu zokubhala ze-SMS kanye nokumisa isikhashana kwengxoxo. Yiziphi izinguquko ekuqaleni kobudlelwane?
Iningi labangane bami likholelwa ukuthi ukuxhumana sekuya kuWebhu.
“Wayevame ukufuna imihlangano yangempela, avale ucingo lwakhe lwasekhaya, ahlangane nonina! Ukucasuka okuqhubekayo kubangelwa isenzo "emuva kwehlathi" ngendlela yezinkundla zokuxhumana ... "- kusho u-Yulia oneminyaka engu-26 ubudala.
UDmitry oneminyaka engu-35 uthi: “Izingosi zokuxhumana, inkululeko ezindabeni zobulili zenze umsebenzi wazo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kunemiphakathi eminingi enentshisekelo (yocansi)."
Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuxhumana kalula kanye nenkohliso yokuzikhethela, ubudlelwano buyadlula ngokushesha: buphuthuma ngokushesha ocansini futhi buphele ngokushesha nje.
UNastya oneminyaka engu-34 uthi: “Kwakuhamba kancane futhi kunothando, manje sekufana nemakethe: sahlangana, sakuthanda futhi ngokushesha sabiza ekhaya. Ngaphambili, banikeze izimbali, manje bazama ukunganiki lutho, ngoba kukhona amantombazane amaningi avuma ngaphezulu ngesikhathi esisodwa.
Ngokwalokho okuphawulwe uNatalya oneminyaka engu-42 ubudala, “ukuphola izinyanga eziyisithupha ngaphambi kokuba silale sekuwumbudane, cishe kumnandi kakhulu.”
Kukho konke okuhlobene nokuqomisana, sibona kugxilwa emphumeleni, hhayi inqubo. U-Olga oneminyaka engu-29 uthi: “Amadoda ayashesha ukukhombisa ukuthi afuna ukuqomisana futhi aziphathe ngendlela efanele. Ngaphambili, bebekwazi ukuqulisana ngaphandle kwesiqiniseko iminyaka eminingi futhi babe nezingxoxo ezingasho lutho.”
Kwabanye, ukuthumela isithombe esiseduze kufana nokunikeza ibhokisi likashokoledi, isipho esingabonakali, uphawu lokunaka.
Isihloko esihlukile izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuthandana. Lapho, ukuxhumana nemihlangano kubekwa ngokusakazwa. "Uzizwa njengomkhiqizo ozikhethayo futhi uzikhethele wena, — kusho uSvetlana oneminyaka engu-32. “Cishe ayikho indawo yokuqomisana.”
Ama-Smartphones angena ngaphansi kwebhulukwe neziketi, ukuthumela izithombe zokusondelana sekuyinto evamile. “Amahlaya angamahlaya, kodwa umakhalekhukhwini wami ubonakala ugcina zonke izingxenye zomhlaba,” kuvuma uTanya oneminyaka engu-28. Kwabanye, ukuthumela isithombe sokusondelana kufana nokunikeza ibhokisi likashokoledi, isipho esingabonakali, uphawu lokunaka.”
Izindima zobulili ziyashintshashintsha, abesifazane bayahola. USvetlana oneminyaka engu-32 uthi: “Manje owesifazane angafona ndawana thize akhokhe isikweletu ngoba nje efuna. KuMaria oneminyaka engu-26, konke kuncike emandleni okukhangwa: “Ngiyakhetha, hhayi mina. Ukukhetha, ngiyayenga, uma into ingayenga, ngishintshela kwabanye.
“Phakathi nenkathi yokuqomisana, bobabili abakaqiniseki ngomunye nomunye, kodwa ngamunye uzama ukunqoba omunye,” kubhala isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Erich Fromm. - Zombili zigcwele ukuphila, ezikhangayo, ezithakazelisayo, ngisho nezinhle - injabulo yokuphila yenza ubuso bube buhle njalo. Kokubili akukabi khona; ngakho-ke, amandla omuntu ngamunye wabo ahloselwe ukuba, okungukuthi, ukupha omunye nokumshukumisa.1.
Ukuqomisana kugcina ngokutholana noma ukuqhubeka nokuthandana. Ithoshi manje selikuwo wonke umakhalekhukhwini. Ngokunethezeka kakhulu.
1 E. Fromm «Ukuba noma ukuba» (Neoclassic, 2015).