Okuqukethwe
Benza konke ndawonye: lapho enye ikhona, kukhona enye. Ukuphila ngaphandle komlingani akuwenzi umqondo kubo. Kubukeka kuwumbono omuhle abaningi abawufisayo. Kodwa i-idyll enjalo igcwele ingozi.
UKaterina oneminyaka engu-26 uthi: “Sichitha sonke isikhathi sethu sokuphumula sindawonye, sihlala sihamba ndawonye siyovakashela abangane nabantu esibajwayele, siye eholidini sobabili nje kuphela.
“Angikho ngaphandle kwenu” isiqubulo semibhangqwana engahlukani. UMaria noYegor basebenza ndawonye. "Bafana nesilwane esisodwa - bathanda into efanayo, bagqoka umbala ofanayo, baze baqedele imishwana yomunye nomunye," kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Saverio Tomasella, umbhali we-Merge Relationship.
Okuhlangenwe nakho okujwayelekile, ukwesaba kanye nomkhuba
I-psychoanalyst ikholelwa ukuthi imibhangqwana engahlukaniseki ingahlukaniswa ngezinhlobo ezintathu.
Uhlobo lokuqala - lobu ubudlelwano obavela ekuseni kakhulu, lapho abalingani besathola ukwakheka kwabo. Bangase babe abangane basesikoleni, mhlawumbe ngisho nasesikoleni samabanga aphansi. Okuhlangenwe nakho kokukhula ndawonye kuqinisa ubuhlobo babo - kuzo zonke izikhathi zokuphila kwabo babebonana eceleni, njengokuboniswa esibukweni.
Uhlobo lwesibili - lapho omunye wabalingani, futhi mhlawumbe bobabili, engakwazi ukubekezelela isizungu. Uma okhethiweyo wakhe enquma ukuchitha ubusuku ngokuhlukana, uzizwa elahliwe futhi engadingekile. Isidingo sokuhlangana kubantu abanjalo sishukunyiswa ukwesaba ukuthi bazosala bodwa. Ubudlelwano obunjalo buvame ukuzalwa kabusha, buncike ndawonye.
Uhlobo lwesithathu - labo abakhulela emndenini lapho ubuhlobo bunjalo. Laba bantu bamane balandela iphethini ebilokhu iphambi kwamehlo abo.
I-idyll ebuthakathaka
Ngokwabo, ubudlelwano lapho izimpilo zabalingani zisondelene kakhulu abukwazi ukubizwa ngokuthi bunobuthi. Njengakho konke okunye, kuyindaba yokulinganisela.
“Kwezinye izimo, izinyoni zothando zisalondoloza isilinganiso esithile sokuzimela, futhi lokhu akubi yinkinga,” kusho uSaverio Tomasella. - Kwabanye, ukuhlangana kuba okuphelele: omunye ngaphandle komunye uzizwa enephutha, ephansi. Kukhona kuphela «thina», hhayi «Mina». Esimweni sokugcina, ukukhathazeka kuvame ukuvela ebuhlotsheni, abalingani bangaba nomona futhi bazame ukulawula omunye nomunye.
Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuyingozi ngoba kuhlanganisa ukuncika ngokomqondo ngisho nangokwezomnotho.
Uma imingcele yomuntu siqu ifiphazwa, siyayeka ukuzehlukanisa nomunye umuntu. Kufika lapho sibona khona ukungaboni ngaso linye okuncane njengosongo enhlalakahleni. Noma ngokuphambene nalokho, ukuhlakazeka kwenye, siyeka ukuzilalela futhi ngenxa yalokho - uma kwenzeka ikhefu - sibhekana nenkinga yomuntu siqu.
“Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kuyingozi ngoba kuhlanganisa nokuncika ngokwengqondo ngisho nangokwezomnotho,” kuchaza uchwepheshe. "Omunye wabalingani uvame ukuphila sengathi ababili, kanti omunye uhlala engakavuthwa futhi engakwazi ukwenza izinqumo ezizimele."
Ubuhlobo obuncikile ngokuvamile bukhula phakathi kwabantu ababengenabo ubuhlobo obulondekile, nokwethembana nabazali babo lapho beyizingane. "Lesi sidingo esesivele sikhona somunye umuntu siba yindlela - maye, engaphumeleli - yokugcwalisa isikhala esingokomzwelo," kuchaza u-Saverio Tomasella.
Ukusuka Ekuhlanganyeleni Kuya Ekuhluphekeni
Ukuncika kuzibonakalisa ngamasignali ahlukahlukene. Lokhu kungase kube ukukhathazeka ngisho nangenxa yokuhlukana kwesikhashana nomlingani, isifiso sokulandela zonke izinyathelo zakhe, ukwazi ukuthi wenzani ngesikhathi esithile.
Olunye uphawu ukuvalwa kombhangqwana kukodwa. Ozakwethu banciphisa inani loxhumana nabo, benze abangani abambalwa, bazihlukanise nezwe ngodonga olungabonakali. Bonke abazivumela ukuba bangabaze ukukhetha kwabo baba yizitha futhi banqunywe. Ukuzihlukanisa okunjalo kungase kubangele izingxabano nokugqashuka kobudlelwane nezihlobo nabangane.
Uma ubona lezi zimpawu ebudlelwaneni bakho, kufanelekile ukubonisana nomelaphi ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.
“Lapho ukwencika kuba sobala, uthando lukhula lube ukuhlupheka, kodwa ngisho nomcabango wokuhlukana ubonakala ungakholeki kubalingani,” kuphawula u-Saverio Tomasella. - Ukuze ubheke isimo ngendlela efanele, abalingani kumele baqale bazibone njengabantu ngabanye, bafunde ukulalela izifiso nezidingo zabo. Mhlawumbe bazokhetha ukuhlala ndawonye - kodwa ngemibandela emisha ezocabangela izithakazelo zomuntu ngamunye.