Okuqukethwe
Namuhla kuyisiko ukukhuluma ngezinzuzo zayo zezempilo, ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo. Isazi sobulili siyachaza ukuthi ukushaya indlwabu kungase kube yingozi nini nokuthi kufanele kwenziweni ngakho.
Ukushaya indlwabu: okujwayelekile kanye nokulutheka
Ukushaya indlwabu kungaba yindlela enhle yokuqeda ukungezwani noma ukubhekana nendlala yocansi uma umlingani engekho. Kwabaningi bethu, kuyingxenye yemvelo yokuphila kanye nobulili obunempilo. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuthi ukulangazelela ukuzanelisa kudlulela ngalé kwemingcele yokucabanga.
Kulezi zimo, «ucansi oluphephile» lungalutha futhi lube nemiphumela efanayo ebulalayo nelimazayo, njengokuthi, isibonelo, ukuba umlutha wezidakamizwa noma utshwala.
Sincamela ukushaya indlwabu kunobudlelwano obusondelene nozakwethu, sizithola sisodwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngesinye isikhathi siyeka ukulawula izifiso zethu ezindaweni zomphakathi.
Kuvelaphi lokhu kulutheka?
Lapho ingane ihlukumezekile noma ihlukunyezwa, ayinamathuba okuveza intukuthelo, ukuphelelwa ithemba, noma usizi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungase kube nokuvinjelwa okuvulekile noma okungashiwongo emndenini ukukhononda nokukhuluma ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwawo. Ngokwesaba ukungqubuzana okusobala, ingane ingase ibeke izidingo zabahlukumezi bayo noma amalungu omndeni angasebenzi kahle kunezifiso zabo.
Le mizwelo engemihle yobuntwana ayisuki, kodwa ibangela ukungakhululeki kwangaphakathi okudingeka kuxazululwe, futhi ngaphandle kokufinyelela kudokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo noma ukusekelwa okuvela kwabathandekayo, ingane ingahlakulela ukuthambekela ekubeni umlutha.
Ukushaya indlwabu kungenye yezindlela ezifinyeleleka kakhulu zokuqeda ukuhlupheka: ukuze wehlise umoya, udinga umzimba wakho kuphela. Ngomqondo othile, lesi “isidakamizwa” esiyingqayizivele esingenakuthengwa ngemali. Maye, kubantu abaningi abayimilutha yocansi, ukushaya indlwabu kuba “umthamo” wabo wokuqala.
Ukukhathazeka, ukwesaba, umona kanye neminye imizwa eyisisekelo kungavusa ngokushesha isidingo sokuzanelisa. Umlutha akanaso isikhathi sokwenza ukuxhumana phakathi kokucindezeleka nokusabela kwawo kukho.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma ukushaya indlwabu kuba isidingo esidlulele?
Okokuqala, ngizokweluleka ukuthi ufunde izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokuzithokozisa: ukuzindla, ukuhamba, ukuvivinya umzimba, i-yoga. Lokhu kuzosiza ukwenza impilo yakho yocansi ibe yijwayelekile.
Mayelana nombhali: U-Alexandra Katehakis isazi sezocansi, umqondisi we-Healthy Sex Center e-Los Angeles, kanye nombhali we-Erotic Intelligence: How to Ignite Strong, Healthy Desire and Break Addiction.