Indlela yokutshela ingane ngokufa kothandekayo?

Uma kushone ilungu lomndeni, ingane kufanele ikhulume iqiniso. Njengoba ukuphila kubonisa, zonke izinketho ezinjengokuthi “Ubaba wahamba uhambo lwebhizinisi izinyanga eziyisithupha” noma “Ugogo uthuthele kwelinye idolobha” kungaba nemiphumela emibi.

Okokuqala, ingane ngeke nje ikholwe noma inqume ukuthi awusho. Ngoba uyabona ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, ukuthi kukhona okwenzekile endlini: ngesizathu esithile abantu bayakhala, izibuko zivaliwe, awukwazi ukuhleka kakhulu.

Amaphupho ezingane acebile, futhi ukwesaba okukudalayo enganeni kungokoqobo. Umntwana uzonquma ukuthi yena noma othile emndenini usengozini yento embi kakhulu. Usizi lwangempela lucacile futhi lulula ukwedlula zonke izinto ezesabekayo ingane engazicabanga.

Okwesibili, ingane isazotshelwa iqiniso ngomalume “abanomusa,” omalumekazi, ezinye izingane noma ogogo abanozwelo egcekeni. Futhi namanje akwaziwa ukuthi ukusiphi isimo. Futhi-ke umuzwa wokuthi izihlobo zakhe ziqambe amanga kuye uzokwengezwa osizini.

Ubani ongcono ukukhuluma?

Isimo sokuqala: umuntu ongowokuzalwa kumntwana, oseduze kunabo bonke abasele; owaphila nosazoqhubeka ehlala nomntwana; omazi kahle.

Isimo sesibili: lowo ozokhuluma kumele azibambe ukuze akhulume ngomoya ophansi, angabhodloki noma izinyembezi ezingalawuleki (lezo zinyembezi ezigcwele amehlo akhe azisona isithiyo). Kuzomele aqede ukukhuluma kuze kube sekugcineni asale nengane ize ibone izindaba ezibuhlungu.

Ukuze ufeze lo msebenzi, khetha isikhathi nendawo lapho uzobe «usesimweni somthombo», futhi ungakwenzi lokhu ngokukhulula ukucindezeleka ngotshwala. Ungasebenzisa i-sedative yemvelo elula, njenge-valerian.

Kubo kubonakala sengathi bazoyilimaza ingane, ibangele ubuhlungu. Okunye ukwesaba ukuthi ukusabela okuzobangelwa yizindaba kuzoba okungalindelekile futhi kubi. Isibonelo, ukuklabalasa noma izinyembezi umuntu omdala angeke azi ukuthi kufanele abhekane kanjani nazo. Konke lokhu akulona iqiniso.

Maye, kwenzekeni. Kwafika isiphetho, hhayi ummemezeli. Umntwana ngeke amsole lowo omtshela ngokwenzekile: ngisho nezingane ezincane zihlukanisa phakathi komcimbi nalowo okhuluma ngakho. Njengomthetho, izingane zibonga lowo owabakhipha endaweni engaziwa futhi wanikeza ukusekelwa ngesikhathi esinzima.

Ukusabela okunamandla kuyivelakancane kakhulu, ngoba ukuqaphela ukuthi kukhona okungahle kwenzeke, ubuhlungu nokulangazelela kufika kamuva, lapho umufi eqala ukuphuthelwa ekuphileni kwansuku zonke. Ukusabela kokuqala, njengomthetho, ukumangala kanye nemizamo yokucabanga ukuthi kunjani: "wafa" noma "wafa" ...

Nini futhi kanjani ukukhuluma ngokufa

Kungcono ungaqinisi kakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi kufanele uthathe ikhefu kancane, ngoba isikhulumi kumele sizolise kancane. Kodwa noma kunjalo, khuluma ngokushesha ngemva komcimbi ngangokunokwenzeka. Ingane ihlala isikhathi eside inomuzwa wokuthi kwenzeke into embi futhi engaqondakali, ukuthi iyodwa nale ngozi engaziwa, kubi kakhulu kuye.

Khetha isikhathi lapho ingane ingeke isebenze ngokweqile: lapho isilele, idlile futhi ingenakho ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzimba. Lapho isimo sizolile ngangokunokwenzeka ngaphansi kwezimo.

Kwenze endaweni lapho ungeke uphazamiseke noma uphazamiseke, lapho ungakwazi ukukhuluma ngokuthula. Yenza lokhu endaweni evamile futhi ephephile yengane (isibonelo, ekhaya), ukuze kamuva ibe nethuba lokuba yedwa noma ukusebenzisa izinto ezijwayelekile nezizithandayo.

Hug ingane encane noma uyithathe uguqe ngamadolo. Osemusha angaganwa ngamahlombe noma abanjwe ngesandla. Into eyinhloko ukuthi lokhu kuxhumana akufanele kube okungathandeki kumntwana, futhi futhi akufanele kube yinto engavamile. Uma ukwanga akwamukelekile emndenini wakho, khona-ke kungcono ukungenzi noma yini engavamile kulesi simo.

Kubalulekile ukuthi ngesikhathi esifanayo akubone futhi akulalele, futhi angabuki i-TV noma ifasitela ngeso elilodwa. Thola ukuthintana kwamehlo. Yiba mfushane futhi ube lula.

Kulesi simo, ulwazi oluyinhloko kumlayezo wakho kufanele luphindwe. “Umama ushonile, akasekho” noma “Umkhulu ubegula, futhi odokotela abakwazanga ukusiza. Ushonile". Ungasho ukuthi "uhambile", "walala unomphela", "kwesokunxele" - zonke lezi zingama-euphemisms, izingathekiso ezingacacile kahle enganeni.

Ngemva kwalokho, yima kancane. Asisekho isidingo sokuthi kushiwo. Konke okusadinga ukukwazi ingane izozibuza yona.

Izingane zingabuzani?

Izingane ezincane zingase zibe nentshisekelo emininingwaneni yobuchwepheshe. Wangcwatshwa noma akangcwatshwa? Ingabe izimpethu zizoyidla? Bese ebuza kungazelelwe: “Ingabe uzoza ngosuku lwami lokuzalwa?” Noma: “Ufile? Uphi manje?"

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umbuzo ongavamile kangakanani umntwana awubuza, ungamangali, ungathukutheli, futhi ungacabangi ukuthi lezi yizimpawu zokungahloniphi. Kunzima ngengane encane ukuqonda ngokushesha ukuthi kuyini ukufa. Ngakho-ke, "ubeka ekhanda lakhe" ukuthi kuyini. Ngezinye izikhathi kuba yinqaba kakhulu.

Embuzweni othi: "Wafa - kanjani? Futhi uyini manje? ungaphendula ngokwemibono yakho ngempilo yangemva kokufa. Kodwa kunoma yikuphi, ungesabi. Ungasho ukuthi ukufa kuyisijeziso sezono, futhi gwema ukuchaza ukuthi “kunjengokulala nokungavuki”: ingane ingase yesabe ukulala noma ukubuka abanye abantu abadala ukuze bangalali.

Izingane zivame ukubuza ngokukhathazeka, "Ingabe nawe uzofa?" Phendula ngokwethembeka ukuthi yebo, kodwa hhayi manje futhi hhayi maduze, kodwa kamuva, "uma umkhulu, umkhulu, lapho unabantu abaningi empilweni yakho abazokuthanda futhi obathandayo ...".

Naka ingane ukuthi inezihlobo, abangani, ukuthi ayiyedwa, ithandwa abantu abaningi ngaphandle kwakho. Yisho ukuthi ngokuhamba kweminyaka bazokwanda abantu abanjalo. Ngokwesibonelo, uyoba nothandekayo, abantwana bakhe siqu.

Izinsuku zokuqala emva kokulahlekelwa

Ngemva kokusho into esemqoka - hlala uthule eduze kwakhe. Nikeza ingane yakho isikhathi sokwamukela lokho ekuzwayo futhi iphendule. Esikhathini esizayo, yenza ngokuhambisana nokusabela kwengane:

• Uma ephendule umlayezo ngemibuzo, yiphendule ngokuqondile nangobuqotho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi le mibuzo ingase ibonakale iyinqaba noma ingafaneleki kangakanani kuwe.
• Uma ehlala phansi ukuze adlale noma adwebe, joyina kancane kancane futhi udlale noma udwebe naye. Unganikeli lutho, udlale, wenze ngokwemithetho yakhe, ngendlela ayidingayo.
• Uma ekhala, mgone noma umbambe isandla. Uma ukwenyanya, ithi «ngikhona» futhi uhlale eduze kwakho ngaphandle kokusho noma ukwenza lutho. Bese uqala ingxoxo kancane kancane. Isho amazwi ozwela. Sitshele ngokuzokwenzeka esikhathini esizayo esiseduze - namuhla nasezinsukwini ezizayo.
• Uma ebaleka, ungamsukeli ngokushesha. Bheka ukuthi wenzani ngesikhathi esifushane, emizuzwini engama-20-30. Noma yini ayenzayo, zama ukuthola ukuthi uyafuna yini ukuba khona kwakho. Abantu banelungelo lokulila bodwa, ngisho nezincane kakhulu. Kodwa lokhu kufanele kubhekwe.

Ungazami ukwenzela umntwana okuthile okungavamile, njengokumnika ushokoledi ngokuvamile owenqatshelwe, noma ukupheka into evame ukudliwa ekhaya ngamaholide. Ukudla makube okwejwayelekile kanye nalokhu okuzodliwa yingane. Wena noma yena awunawo amandla okuphikisana “ngokunganambitheki kodwa okunempilo” ngalolu suku.

Ngaphambi kokulala, hlala naye isikhathi eside noma, uma kunesidingo, aze azumeke. Ake ngimshiye ekhanya uma esaba. Uma ingane isaba futhi icela ukulala nawe, ungamyisa endaweni yakho ngobusuku bokuqala, kodwa ungayinikeli ngokwakho futhi uzame ukungenzi umkhuba: kungcono ukuhlala eduze kwakhe kuze kube yilapho ehlala khona. alale.

Mtshele ukuthi impilo izoba njani ngokulandelayo: okuzokwenzeka kusasa, ngakusasa, ngesonto, ngenyanga. Udumo luyaduduza. Yenza izinhlelo futhi uzifeze.

Ukubamba iqhaza emikhumbuzweni nasemingcwabeni

Kufanelekile ukuthatha ingane emngcwabeni kanye nokuvuka kuphela uma kukhona umuntu eduze kwakhe ingane ethembayo futhi ongakwazi ukubhekana nayo kuphela: msuse ngesikhathi, umthulise uma ekhala.

Umuntu ongakwazi ukuchazela ingane ngokuzolile ukuthi kwenzakalani, futhi avikele (uma kunesidingo) emazwini enduduzo aphikelelayo. Uma beqala ukukhala ngengane "oh uyintandane" noma "unjani manje" - lokhu kuyize.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanele uqiniseke ukuthi umngcwabo (noma ukuvuka) uzobanjwa endaweni emaphakathi - ukucasuka kothile kungathusa ingane.

Kungenzeka yini ukubuza ingane ukuthi ingathanda kanjani ukuvalelisa: ukuya emngcwabeni, noma mhlawumbe kungaba ngcono ukuba ahambe nawe ethuneni kamuva?

Uma ubona kungcono ukuthi ingane ingayi emngcwabeni bese ifuna ukumthumela kwenye indawo, isibonelo, ezihlotsheni, mtshele ukuthi uzoyaphi, ngani, ngubani ozoba naye futhi uzokhetha nini. avuke. Isibonelo: “Kusasa uzohlala nogogo wakho, ngoba lapha abantu abaningi abahlukene bazoza kithi, bazokhala, futhi lokhu kunzima. Ngizokulanda ngo-8 ezimpondweni."

Yiqiniso, abantu abazohlala nabo ingane kufanele, uma kungenzeka, babe "babo": labo abajwayele noma izihlobo ingane evame ukuvakashela kuzo futhi ejwayelene nenqubo yabo yansuku zonke. Futhi vuma ukuthi baphatha ingane “njengenhlalayenza”, okungukuthi, abazisoli, bangakhali ngaye.

Ilungu lomndeni elishonile lenze imisebenzi ethile ehlobene nengane. Mhlawumbe wageza noma wathatha enkulisa, noma mhlawumbe nguye owafunda inganekwane ngaphambi kokulala. Ungazami ukufaka esikhundleni somufi futhi ubuyisele enganeni yonke imisebenzi ejabulisayo elahlekile. Kodwa zama ukusindisa okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuntuleka kwayo okuzobonakala ngokukhethekile.

Cishe, ngazo kanye lezi zikhathi, ukulangazelela abangasekho kuyoba bukhali kunokuvamile. Ngakho-ke, ubekezelele ukucasuka, ukukhala, intukuthelo. Ukuthi ingane ayijabule ngendlela owenza ngayo, ukuthi ingane ifuna ukuba yedwa futhi izokugwema.

Ingane inelungelo lokudabuka

Gwema ukukhuluma ngokufa. Njengoba isihloko sokufa "sicutshungulwa", ingane izofika futhi ibuze imibuzo. Lokhu kuhle. Ingane izama ukuqonda nokwamukela izinto eziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu, isebenzisa izikhali zengqondo enazo.

Isihloko sokufa singase sivele emidlalweni yakhe, isibonelo, uzongcwaba amathoyizi, emidwebeni. Ungesabi ukuthi ekuqaleni le midlalo noma imidwebo izoba nomlingiswa onolaka: "ukuklebhula" okunonya izingalo nemilenze yamathoyizi; igazi, izingebhezi, ukugqama kwemibala emnyama emidwebeni. Ukufa kuthathe othandekayo enganeni, futhi unelungelo lokuthukuthela futhi “akhulume” naye ngolimi lwakhe.

Ungajahi ukucisha i-TV uma ingqikithi yokufa ikhanya ohlelweni noma ikhathuni. Ungasusi ngokuqondile amabhuku lapho lesi sihloko sikhona. Kungase kube ngcono nakakhulu uma "unendawo yokuqala" ukuze ukhulume naye futhi.

Ungazami ukuphazamisa izingxoxo nemibuzo enjalo. Imibuzo ngeke iphele, kodwa ingane izohamba nayo hhayi kuwe noma inqume ukuthi kukhona okubi okufihliwe kuye okusongela wena noma yena.

Nasekukhala abantu abadala inhloso yokuthi “usishiye kubani” iyashelela. Ngakho-ke, ungayivimbeli ingane ukuba iveze intukuthelo yayo. Akakhulume, aphinde aphinde athi umufi ubengafuni ukumshiya, kwavele kwenzeka. Ukuthi akekho onecala. Ukuthi umufi wayemthanda futhi, uma ekwazi, wayengeke amshiye.

Ngokwesilinganiso, isikhathi sosizi olunzima sithatha amasonto angu-6-8. Uma ngemva kwalesi sikhathi ingane ingashiyi ukwesaba, uma ichama embhedeni, igedla amazinyo ephusheni, incela noma ilume iminwe yayo, isonta, iklebhula amashiya noma izinwele, inyakazisa esihlalweni, igijima i-tiptoe isikhathi eside. , uyesaba ukuhlala ngaphandle kwakho ngisho nangesikhathi esifushane — konke lokhu kuyizimpawu zokuxhumana nochwepheshe.

Uma ingane isinolaka, i-pugnacious noma iqale ukuthola ukulimala okuncane, uma, ngokuphambene nalokho, ilalela kakhulu, izama ukuhlala eduze nawe, ivame ukusho izinto ezijabulisayo kuwe noma ama-fawn - lezi nazo ziyizizathu ze-alamu.

Umlayezo Obalulekile: Impilo Iyaqhubeka

Konke okushoyo nokwenzayo kufanele kube nomyalezo owodwa oyisisekelo: “Maye kwenzeke. Kuyesabeka, kubuhlungu, kubi. Nokho impilo iyaqhubeka futhi konke kuzoba ngcono.” Phinda ufunde lesi sisho futhi uzitshele, ngisho noma umufi ethandeka kakhulu kuwe kangangokuthi wenqaba ukukholelwa ekuphileni ngaphandle kwakhe.

Uma ufunda lokhu, ungumuntu ongenandaba nosizi lwezingane. Unomuntu omesekayo nokuthile ongakuphilela. Futhi nawe, unelungelo losizi lwakho olunzima, unelungelo lokwesekwa, lokuthola usizo lwezempilo nolwengqondo.

Kusukela osizini ngokwalo, njengalokhu, akekho osashonile: noma yikuphi ukudabuka, ngisho nokubi kakhulu, kudlula ngokushesha noma kamuva, kungokwemvelo kithi ngokwemvelo. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuthi usizi lubonakala lungabekezeleleki futhi impilo inikezwa ngobunzima obukhulu. Ungakhohlwa ukuzinakekela nawe.

Indaba yalungiswa ngesisekelo sezinkulumo zesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye ne-psychotherapist uVarvara Sidorova.