Sivame ukuzizwa sanqatshiwe, sikhohliwe, singaziswa, noma sinomuzwa wokuthi asizange siyithole inhlonipho esizizwa isifanele. Ungafunda kanjani ukuthi ungacasuki ngezinto eziwubala? Futhi ingabe bahlale befuna ukusikhubekisa?
U-Anna wachitha amasonto ambalwa ehlela iphathi yokugubha usuku lwenkampani. Ngabhukha ikhefi, ngathola umethuli nabaculi, ngathumela inqwaba yezimemo, ngalungisa nezipho. Ubusuku buhambe kahle, futhi ekugcineni umphathi ka-Anna wasukuma ukuze anikeze inkulumo yendabuko.
“Akazange azihluphe ngokungibonga,” kusho u-Anna. — Ngangithukuthele. Wazikhandla kakhulu, futhi akazange abone kufanele ukuthi avume. Ngabe senginquma: uma engawazisi umsebenzi wami, ngeke ngimazise. Akabange esaba nobungane futhi engalawuleki. Ubudlelwano nobasi baba bubi kakhulu kangangokuthi wagcina ebhale incwadi yokwesula. Kube yiphutha elikhulu, ngoba manje sengiyaqonda ukuthi ngangijabule kulowo msebenzi.”
Siyacasuka futhi sicabange ukuthi sisetshenziswe lapho umuntu esimenzele umusa ehamba engashongo.
Sizizwa sincishwe amathuba uma singakutholi ukuhlonishwa esizizwa kusifanele. Uma othile ekhohlwa usuku lwethu lokuzalwa, angasafoni futhi, akasimemeli ephathini.
Sithanda ukuzicabangela njengabantu abangenabugovu abahlale bekulungele ukusiza, kodwa ezikhathini eziningi, siyacasuka futhi sicabange ukuthi sisetshenziswe ngokunenzuzo lapho umuntu esimphakamisele phezulu, ephatha, noma esenzela umusa ehamba ngaphandle. ethi ngiyabonga.
Zibuke wena. Cishe uzoqaphela ukuthi uzwa ubuhlungu ngenxa yesinye salezi zizathu cishe nsuku zonke. Indaba evamile: umuntu akazange akubheke emehlweni ngesikhathi ukhuluma, noma ungene emgqeni ngaphambi kwakho. Umphathi wawubuyisela umbiko nemfuneko yokuwuphetha, umngane wale isimemo sombukiso.
Ungakhubeki ngokubuyisela
“Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zibiza lokhu kucasuka ngokuthi “ukulimala okudabukisayo,” kuchaza uprofesa wezengqondo uSteve Taylor. “Balimaza i-ego, bakwenza uzizwe ungabongwa. Ekugcineni, iwona kanye lo muzwa obangela noma yikuphi ukucasuka - asihlonishwa, sibukelwa phansi.
Ukucasuka kubonakala kuwukusabela okuvamile, kodwa ngokuvamile kuba nemiphumela eyingozi. Kungathatha izingqondo zethu izinsuku, kuvule amanxeba angokwengqondo okunzima ukuwapholisa. Siphindaphinda okwenzeka ngokuphindaphindiwe emiqondweni yethu kuze kube yilapho ubuhlungu nokululazeka kusiqeda amandla.
Ngokuvamile lobu buhlungu busiqhubela ukuba sibuyele emuva, bubangele isifiso sokuziphindiselela. Lokhu kungazibonakalisa ngokudelela: “Akazange angimemele ephathini, ngakho-ke ngeke ngimhalalisele kuFacebook (inhlangano eyeqisayo evinjelwe eRussia) ngosuku lwakhe lokuzalwa”; "Akazange angibonge, ngakho-ke ngizoyeka ukumqaphela."
Ngokuvamile ubuhlungu bokucasuka busishukumisela ukuba sibuyele emuva, kubangela isifiso sokuziphindiselela.
Kwenzeka ukuthi ukucasuka kuyakhula, futhi kufika eqinisweni lokuthi uqala ukubheka ngenye indlela, uhlangana nalo muntu ephasishi, noma wenze izinkulumo ezihlabayo ngemuva kwakho. Futhi uma esabela ekungathandini kwakho, kungase kukhule kube ubutha obugcwele. Ubungane obuqinile abumelani nokusolana, futhi umndeni omuhle uyahlukana ngaphandle kwesizathu.
Okuyingozi nakakhulu - ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa kubantu abasha - ukucasuka kungase kubangele ukusabela okunobudlova okuholela odlameni. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo uMartin Dali noMargot Wilson baye babala ukuthi ezingxenyeni ezimbili kwezintathu zakho konke ukubulala, isiqalo siwumuzwa wokucasuka: "Angihlonishwa, futhi kufanele ngisindise ubuso ngazo zonke izindleko." Eminyakeni yamuva nje, i-US ibone ukwanda "kokubulawa kwabantu nge-flash", ubugebengu obubangelwa izingxabano ezincane.
Ngokuvamile, ababulali abantu abasha abahlulekayo ukuzibamba, bezwa ubuhlungu phambi kwabangane. Kwesinye isigameko, osemusha wadubula indoda emdlalweni we-basketball ngenxa yokuthi "ngangingayithandi indlela abengigqolozele ngayo." Waya kulendoda wayibuza: “Ubukani?” Lokhu kwaholela ekuthukweni nasekudutshulweni. Kwesinye isigameko, owesifazane osemusha ugwaze omunye ngoba egqoke ingubo yakhe ngaphandle kokubuza. Ziningi ezinye izibonelo ezinjalo.
Ingabe bafuna ukukucasula?
Yini engenziwa ukuze kungabi lula ukucasuka?
Ngokusho kwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sokwelulekwa komuntu u-Ken Case, isinyathelo sokuqala ukwamukela ukuthi sizwa ubuhlungu. Kubonakala kulula, kodwa empeleni, kaningi sigxila emcabangweni wokuthi ungumuntu omubi, omubi - lowo osikhubekisile. Ukuqaphela ubuhlungu bomuntu kuphazamisa ukuphindaphinda okuyimpoqo kwesimo (okuyikhona okusilimaza kakhulu, ngoba kuvumela ukucasuka ukuba kukhule ngendlela engenakulinganiswa).
I-Ken Case igcizelela ukubaluleka "kwendawo yokuphendula". Cabanga ngemiphumela ngaphambi kokuba usabele ekuthukweni. Khumbula ukuthi nalabo abacasuka kalula, abanye abakhululekile. Uma uzizwa ucatshangelwe ngenxa yokuthi ubulindele ukusabela okuthile, futhi kungazange kulandele, mhlawumbe isizathu siwukulindela okukhulu okudingeka kushintshwe.
Uma othile engakunaki, kungenzeka ukuthi uthatha isikweletu ngezinto ezingasebenzi kuwe.
“Ngokuvamile ukucasuka kubangelwa ukufunda kabi isimo,” isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Elliot Cohen sithuthukisa lombono. - Uma othile engakunaki, mhlawumbe uthi ku-akhawunti yakho okuthile okungahlangene nawe. Zama ukubheka isimo ngombono womuntu ocabanga ukuthi akakunaki.
Mhlawumbe ubejahile nje noma akakubonanga. Waziphatha ngendlela engenangqondo noma enganakile ngoba wayengene shí emicabangweni yakhe. Kodwa ngisho noma othile edelela ngempela noma engenanhlonipho, kungase kube nesizathu salokhu: mhlawumbe lowo muntu ucasukile noma uzizwa esongelwa nguwe.
Lapho sizwa ubuhlungu, ubuhlungu bubonakala buvela ngaphandle, kodwa ekugcineni sizivumela ukuba sizwe ubuhlungu. Njengoba u-Eleanor Roosevelt esho ngokuhlakanipha, "Akekho ozokwenza uzizwe uphansi ngaphandle kwemvume yakho."