Ungaphuma kanjani kubhulokhi yokudala lapho usungaphezu kweminyaka engama-30

"Ngilahlekelwe mina," u-Ira waqala indaba yakhe ngale nkulumo. — Liyini iphuzu? Umsebenzi, umndeni, ingane? Konke kuyize. Sekuphele izinyanga eziyisithupha ngivuka ekuseni ngiqonde ukuthi angifuni lutho. Akukho ugqozi noma injabulo. Kimina kubonakala sengathi kukhona ohlezi entanyeni futhi ongilawulayo. Angazi ukuthi yini engiyidingayo. Ingane ayijabule. Ngifuna ukudivosa umyeni wami. Akulungile."

U-Ira uneminyaka engu-33 ubudala, ungumhlobisi. Enhle, ehlakaniphile, ezacile. Kuningi aziqhenya ngakho. Eminyakeni emithathu edlule, ngokungalindelekile "wasuka" waya esiqongweni somsebenzi wakhe wokudala futhi wamnqoba i-Olympus yakhe. Izinkonzo zakhe ziyadingeka. Usebenzisana nomklami odumile waseMoscow, afunda kuye. Izingqungquthela ezihlanganyelwe zabanjwa eMelika, eSpain, e-Italy, eCzech Republic nakwamanye amazwe omhlaba. Igama lakhe laqala ukuzwakala emibuthanweni yobungcweti. Ngaleso sikhathi, u-Ira wayesevele enomndeni nengane. Ngenjabulo, wagxila ekusunguleni, ebuyela ekhaya ukuze alale.

KWENZENJANI

Ngokungalindelekile, ngenxa yomsebenzi othokozisayo nokuqashelwa kochwepheshe, u-Ira waqala ukuzizwa engelutho futhi engenanjongo. Ngokungazelelwe waqaphela ukuthi umlingani u-Igor, owamkhulekela, wayesaba ukuncintisana futhi waqala ukumxosha: akazange amyise ezinhlelweni ezihlangene, wamkhipha emincintiswaneni, futhi washo izinto ezimbi ngemuva kwakhe.

U-Ira wathatha lokhu njengokukhaphela kwangempela. Wanikela iminyaka emithathu kuphrojekthi yokudala yomlingani wakhe nobuntu bakhe, "ukuqedwa" ngokuphelele kuye. Kungenzeka kanjani lokhu?

Isimo saba nzima yiqiniso lokuthi manje umyeni wakhe waqala ukubonakala e-Ira engavamile futhi elula. Wayevame ukujabula ekunakekeleni kwakhe. Umyeni wakhokha izifundo zika-Ira, wamsekela ngomzamo wokuzibonakalisa. Kodwa manje, ngokumelene nesizinda sobambiswano lokudala, umyeni waqala ukubonakala eyisicefe, izingxoxo naye ziyi-banal, impilo ayithakazelisi. Izingxabano zaqala emndenini, ukukhuluma ngesehlukaniso, futhi lokhu kwakungemva kweminyaka engu-12 yomshado.

U-Ira wacindezeleka. Wahoxa kuphrojekthi, wehlisa umsebenzi wakhe wangasese, waphindela kuyena. Kulesi simo, wafika kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Okudabukisayo, kuthule, kuvaliwe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, emehlweni akhe, ngabona ukujula, indlala yokudala kanye nokulangazelela ubudlelwano obuseduze.

ISESHA ISIZATHU

Ngesikhathi somsebenzi, sathola ukuthi u-Ira akakaze abe nobuhlobo obuseduze nokufudumala noyise noma unina. Abazali abazange baqonde futhi abazange basekele "antics" yakhe yokudala.

Ubaba akazange abonise imizwa ngendodakazi yakhe. Akazange abe nemibono yakhe yobuntwana: ukuhlela kabusha efulethini, ukuhlobisa izintombi zakhe ngezimonyo, ukugqoka izingubo zikanina ngokudlala okungajwayelekile.

Umama naye waye "somile". Wasebenza kakhulu futhi wathethisa "umbhedo" wokudala. Futhi u-Ira omncane waziqhelelanisa nabazali bakhe. Yini enye eyayimshiyelwe? Wavala umhlaba wakhe wobuntwana, wokudala ngokhiye. Kuphela yedwa, u-Ira wayengadala, ependa ama-albhamu ngamapende, nomgwaqo ngamakhrayoni anemibala.

Ukuntuleka kokuqonda nokusekelwa kwabazali bakhe "kwahlwanyela" e-Ira ukuntula ukuzethemba emandleni akhe okudala into entsha.

IMPANDE YENKINGA

Ukukholwa kithina njengomuntu oyingqayizivele futhi odala kuza kithi ngenxa yabazali bethu. Bangabalingani bethu bokuqala. Umbono wethu wokuhluka kwethu kanye nelungelo lokudala uncike endleleni abazali abasabela ngayo ezinyathelweni zezingane zethu zokuqala emhlabeni wobuciko.

Uma abazali bemukela futhi bevuma imizamo yethu, khona-ke sithola ilungelo lokuba yithi futhi siziveze nganoma iyiphi indlela. Uma bengakwamukeli, kunzima ngathi ukuzivumela ukuba senze into engavamile, futhi ngisho nangaphezulu ukuyibonisa kwabanye. Kulokhu, ingane ayitholi isiqinisekiso sokuthi ingakwazi ukuzibona nganoma iyiphi indlela. Bangaki abantu abanamakhono abasabhala «etafuleni» noma bapende izindonga zamagaraji!

UKUNGAKAQINISEKI OKUDALAYO

Ukungaqiniseki kokudala kuka-Ira kwanxeshezelwa ngokusekelwa umyeni wakhe. Wayeqonda futhi eyihlonipha imvelo yakhe yokudala. Usizwa ngezifundo, ezihlinzekwa ngezimali impilo yonke. Buthule walalela ukukhuluma «phezulu», eqaphela ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani Ira. Wenza okwakusemandleni akhe. Wayemthanda umkakhe. Kwakuwukunakekelwa kwakhe nokwamukelwa ekuqaleni kobudlelwane "obufumbathisa" u-Ira.

Kodwa kwabe sekuvela umlingani "wokudala" empilweni yentombazane. Uthole ukwesekwa ku-Igor, engaqapheli ukuthi ngesembozo sakhe unxephezela ukungavikeleki kwakhe kokudala. Ukuhlolwa okuhle komsebenzi wakhe kanye nokuqashelwa komphakathi kuphrojekthi kumnikeze amandla.

Ngeshwa, "ukusuka" okusheshayo akuzange kunikeze u-Ira ithuba lokuqinisa amandla akhe futhi azitholele indawo. Wafinyelela zonke izinjongo zakhe kanye nozakwethu, futhi esezuze ayekufuna, wazithola esenkingeni yokudala.

“Ngifunani manje? Ngingakwenza mina ngokwami?" Imibuzo efana nalena iwukwethembeka kuwena, futhi kungaba buhlungu.

U-Ira uphoqe okuhlangenwe nakho kokuzithanda kokudala ekuqulekeni. Lokhu kwazibonakalisa esimweni sokunganaki nokulahlekelwa incazelo: ekuphileni, emsebenzini, emndenini, ngisho nasenganeni. Yebo, ngokwehlukana ngeke kube injongo yokuphila. Kodwa liyini iphuzu? Ungaphuma kanjani kulesi simo?

FUNA INDLELA YOKUPHUMA EZINHLEKENI

Sesisungule ukuxhumana nengxenye yengane ka-Ira, ubuhlakani bakhe. U-Ira wabona "intombazane edala" enama-curls alula, egqoke ingubo ekhanyayo, enemibala. "Ufunani?" ezibuza. Futhi ngaphambi kokuba iso lakhe elingaphakathi livule isithombe esinjalo kusukela ebuntwaneni.

U-Ira umi phezulu komhosha, ngemuva kwalokho okungaphandle kwedolobha kunezindlu ezizimele. “Uhlose” ngokubuka indlu ayithandayo. Umgomo ukhethiwe — manje sekuyisikhathi sokuhamba! Okuthakazelisa kakhulu kuyaqala. U-Ira unqoba umhosha ojulile, odilika futhi owayo. Uyakhuphuka aqhubeke nendlela yakhe edabula ezindlini angazazi, ezinqolobaneni ezilahliwe, nothango oluphukile. Ukubhonga okungalindelekile kwenja, ukukhala kwamagwababa kanye nokubukeka okuthakasela ukwazi kwabantu angabazi kuyayijabulisa futhi kuyinikeze umuzwa wokuzijabulisa. Njengamanje, u-Ira uzwa imininingwane emincane kunawo wonke ngeseli. Konke kuyaphila futhi kungokoqobo. Ubukhona obugcwele lapha namanje.

Kodwa u-Ira uyawukhumbula umgomo. Ujabulela inqubo, uyesaba, uyajabula, ukhale, uyahleka, kodwa uyaqhubeka nokuqhubekela phambili. Lokhu kuwuhambo lwangempela lwentombazane eneminyaka eyisikhombisa ubudala - ukuphumelela zonke izivivinyo futhi ifinyelele umgomo ngokwayo.

Lapho umgomo ufinyelelwa, u-Ira uzizwa enamandla kakhulu futhi ugijimela ekhaya ngawo wonke amandla akhe ngokunqoba. Manje ufuna ukuya khona ngempela! Buthule ulalele izihlamba zamadolo angcolile kanye nokungabikho amahora amathathu. Kubaluleke ngani uma ewufezile umgomo wakhe? Egcwele, egcina imfihlo yakhe, u-Ira uya ekamelweni lakhe ukuze "adale". Udweba, ababazi, usungula izingubo onodoli.

Izifiso zeqiniso zengane yethu yangaphakathi ziwumthombo wokusungula kanye nokuzibona. Okuhlangenwe nakho kuka-Ira kwasebuntwaneni kwamnikeza amandla okudala. Kuhlala kuphela ukunikeza indawo kumntwana wangaphakathi lapho esekhulile.

SEBENZA NGOKUTHOBEKA

Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngiyamangala ukuthi ngokunembe kangakanani ukusebenza kwethu kokungazi lutho, ukunikeza izithombe ezidingekayo nezingathekiso. Uma uthola ukhiye olungile kukho, ungathola izimpendulo zayo yonke imibuzo.

Endabeni ka-Ira, ibonise umthombo wokuphefumulelwa kwakhe kokudala - umgomo okhethwe ngokucacile kanye ne-adventure ezimele ukuyifinyelela, bese kuba injabulo yokubuyela ekhaya.

Konke kwangena endaweni. Isiqalo sobuciko sika-Ira "siyiciko elihamba phambili". Isingathekiso safika kahle, futhi ukuquleka kuka-Ira kwasibamba ngaso leso sikhathi. Zehla izinyembezi. Ngabona kahle phambi kwami ​​intombazane encane ezimisele ngamehlo avuthayo.

PHUMA ENKINGA

Njengasebuntwaneni, namuhla kubalulekile ukuthi u-Ira akhethe umgomo, anqobe izithiyo eyedwa futhi abuyele ekhaya ngokunqoba ukuze aqhubeke nokudala. Kungale ndlela kuphela u-Ira uba namandla futhi azibonakalise ngokugcwele.

Ngakho-ke, ukukhishwa okusheshayo komsebenzi ngokubambisana akuzange kunelise u-Ira: wayengenakho ukuzimela okuphelele nokukhetha umgomo wakhe.

Ukuqaphela isimo sakhe sokudala kwasiza u-Ira ukuba amazise umyeni wakhe. Bekulokhu kubalulekile kuye ukuthi adale futhi abuyele ekhaya, lapho bethanda futhi balinde. Manje waqaphela ukuthi hlobo luni lwangemuva nokusekela indoda yakhe ayithandayo kuye, futhi wathola izindlela eziningi zokudala ebuhlotsheni naye.

Ukuze uxhumane nengxenye yokudala, sibeke izinyathelo ezilandelayo ze-Ira.

IZINYATHELO ZOKUPHUMA EZINHLEKENI ZOKUDALA

1. Funda incwadi ka-Julia Cameron ethi The Artist's Way.

2. Yiba «nedethi yokudala nawe» masonto onke. Uwedwa, hamba nomaphi lapho ufuna: ipaki, ikhefi, ithiyetha.

3. Nakekela ingane ehlakaniphile engaphakathi kuwe. Lalela futhi ufeze ukuthanda kwakhe nezifiso zakhe. Isibonelo, zithengele i-hoop kanye ne-embroider ngokusho kwemizwa yakho.

4. Kanye ngenyanga nengxenye ukundiza kwelinye izwe, ngisho noma usuku olulodwa kuphela. Zulazula emigwaqweni yedolobha uwedwa. Uma lokhu kungenzeki, shintsha indawo ezungezile.

5. Ekuseni, zitshele: “Ngiyazizwa futhi ngibonise amandla ami okudala ngendlela ephelele kakhulu! Nginekhono futhi ngiyakwazi ukulikhombisa!”

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U-Ira "wabutha" yena, wathola izincazelo ezintsha, wasindisa umndeni wakhe futhi wabeka imigomo emisha. Manje wenza iphrojekthi yakhe futhi ujabule.

Inkinga yokudala iyisidingo sokufinyelela izincazelo ezintsha zezinga eliphezulu. Lesi isignali yokuyeka okwedlule, thola imithombo emisha yogqozi futhi uziveze ngokugcwele. Kanjani? Ukuthembela kuwena nokulandela izifiso zakho zangempela. Yileyo ndlela kuphela esizokwazi ngayo ukuthi singakwazi ukwenzani.