Lapho ubudlelwano buhlala iminyaka eminingi, sivame ukukhohlwa ukuthi izimpawu zothando ezilula kanye nenhlonipho kugcina umlilo wothando uphila. Babonisa ngokucacile owesifazane wakho othandekayo ukuthi uhlale umkhathalela, uyamazisa, uyamthanda.
Ingabe ufuna ukwengeza ezothando ebudlelwaneni bakho? Okokuqala, amaqiniso ambalwa esayensi ngothando. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, uprofesa eYunivesithi yaseCornell uRobert Sternberg wasungula “inkolelo-mbono enezici ezintathu zothando.” USternberg uphakamise ukuthi uthando lwakhiwe izingxenye ezintathu eziyisisekelo:
Intimacy: Umuzwa wokuxhumana, ubunye phakathi kwezithandani.
passion: Izifiso ezihambisana nokuthatheka kwezothando kanye nokukhangwa ucansi.
Ukuzibophelela okuphambili: Esikhathini esifushane, lesi yisinqumo sokungena ebuhlotsheni bothando, esikhathini eside, isibopho sokulondoloza nokugcina lolu thando.
Uma usunesikhathi eside ushadile noma uthandana futhi i-honeymoon isidlulile, kuba nzima ukulinganisa phakathi kwezingxenye ezintathu.
“Ngokuvamile emadodeni kubonakala sengathi indlela engcono kakhulu yokugcina ukuzwana ebuhlotsheni ukunikeza izipho ezibizayo noma uhambo oluya kwamanye amazwe. Eqinisweni, ngisho nemikhuba emincane kodwa evamile ingenza okukhulu kakhulu ebudlelwaneni kunanoma yiziphi izipho,” kusho uKeith Dent, umqeqeshi, uchwepheshe wezokuthuthuka komuntu siqu nobudlelwano.
Nansi imibono engu-15 yamadoda afuna ukwengeza ezothando ebudlelwaneni babo nomkabo noma intombi.
1. Oda ikhadi elingavamile elinomlayezo wothando
Amanothi othando noma amakhadi abonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uthathe isikhathi futhi wabonisa umcabango ngokubhala umbhalo ongajwayelekile. Ukumenza ajabule ngokukhethekile, shiya ikhadi endaweni lapho azobukeka khona ngokuqinisekile, kodwa ngeke alindele ukumangala okunjalo. Uma usukulungele ukusebenzisa imali, ungamenzela ikhadi lokuposa elenziwe ngokwezifiso ikakhulukazi.
2. Mnyonyobe umqabule
Ukuqabula, ngokwencazelo, kufanele kube okungalindelekile. Yini engase ibe yezothando? Ukumanga okunjalo kubonisa owesifazane othandekayo ukuthi uhlale efiseleka kuwe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenzani okwamanje.
3. Mncome uma ezibuka esibukweni.
Ezibuka esibukweni, ufuna ukubukeka kwakhe kwangaphandle kufane (noma kudlule) imibono yakhe yangaphakathi ngaye. Uma ngaleso sikhathi umncoma, ngaleyo ndlela unikeza inkokhelo eyengeziwe yokuzethemba, ukusiza ukuzithanda nokwazisa wena ngokwengeziwe. Lokhu futhi kuqinisa imizwa yakhe ngawe (kuzo zontathu izingxenye zothando).
4. Yenza eminye yemisebenzi yasekhaya.
Ngokwenza isikhathi esengeziwe semisebenzi yasekhaya, uzobonisa ukuthi uyakwazisa kangakanani ukulinganisela ebuhlotsheni, futhi umnikeze ithuba lokuphumula.
5. Zithathele esakho isinqumo
Impela, abesifazane bafuna ukuba yingxenye yenqubo yokuthatha izinqumo, kodwa ingabe ngempela ufuna ukunenzela zonke izinqumo nobabili? Ukunquma kungaba nothando kakhulu, njengoba ubonisa owesifazane omthandayo ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ufunani futhi ulungele ukunakekela yonke into.
6. Mmangaze ngokuhambela umcimbi obalulekile kuye.
Ngokuvumelana nezimo ukuze umsize lapho ekudinga kakhulu, uzobonisa ukuthi ubaluleke kakhulu kuwe.
7. Beka ifoni yakho kude
Uzizwa kanjani lapho ezama ngakho konke okusemandleni akhe ukukujabulisa? Naye ufuna okufanayo nakuwe. Lapho ukhuluma nomkakho noma intombi, beka zonke izinto zikagesi ukuze ungaphazamiseki.
8. Mnikeze amanzi okugeza ashisayo
Ukugeza okuphumuzayo kuzomsiza ekudambiseni ukucindezeleka okunqwabelana phakathi nosuku. Ungakhohlwa mayelana nosawoti kanye namafutha okugeza aphunga, uthele ingilazi yewayini.
9. Vuma naye
Ngokuvumelana naye, awunqobi futhi ulahlekelwe engxabanweni, umane uqinisekisa ukuthi imizwa yakhe inesizathu ngempela. Uzwa sengathi uyezwakala futhi uyaqondakala.
10. Bukani izinkanyezi ndawonye
Kuyasiza ukubheka isikali sezinkinga zethu ngendlela ehlukile. Kuhle kakhulu ukubabaza ubukhulu bomkhathi ndawonye, uqaphela ukuthi nobabili nidlala indima yenu (yize encane) endaweni yonke.
11. Mtshele ukuthi kungani umthanda.
Nobabili wena nomkakho nizojabula kakhulu uma ningakwazi ukubeka ngokucacile emazwini ukuthi kungani nithandana futhi wamkhetha. Lokhu kuzophinda kukhombise ukuthi ijule futhi iqotho kangakanani imizwa yakho.
12. Khumbula ukuthi ayikho into efana nokuthintwa umuntu omthandayo.
Ukuthintana ngokomzimba kugcina uthando luphila. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ozakwethu baneliseka kakhulu ngobudlelwano babo uma njalo bekhombisa ukuzwelana nothando lwabo ngomunye nomunye ngokuthintana okuthinta inhliziyo.
13. Bukelani amahlaya enu eniwathandayo ndawonye
Hlekani ndawonye kaningi - kukusondeza.
14. Woza nendlela engajwayelekile yokuvuma uthando lwakho
Sijwayele ukuxhumana ngemiyalezo yombhalo kanye nezithombe-mzwelo. Kuzoba mnandi kakhulu ukuthola umlayezo wothando wokuqala ovela kuwe. Isibonelo, ngesimo sesithombe osibhalile noma inothi ngaphakathi kwebhodlela. Ubuciko busekela uthando.
15. Mkhumbuze ukuthi uhlezi ukhona.
Mqinisekise ukuthi angahlala ethembele kuwe futhi akumele akhathazeke ngakho. Mthembise ukuthi uzoba khona lapho edinga ukwesekwa. Futhi yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukugcina izwi lakho.