Ukusesha umaqondana ngezinhlelo zokusebenza kubonakala kulula futhi akuwona umthwalo. Nokho, lezi zinhlelo zisenza sikhathele, siqambe amanga, futhi sikhungatheke. Kungani kwenzeka?
Siyazithanda izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola - futhi namuhla ekugcineni asinamahloni okukuvuma! Ziya ngokuya ziba lula futhi ziyaqondakala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokwakha iphrofayili ku-Pure noma i-Tinder, sibeka engcupheni cishe lutho, ngoba umuntu ongazange asithande ekuqaleni ngeke akwazi ukusibhala noma ukusibiza. Ukuze uxhumane nomuntu ongase abe umlingani, kuyadingeka ukuthi "swayipha kwesokudla", futhi thina ngokwethu sikwenzile. Futhi kwezinye izinhlelo zokusebenza, owesifazane kuphela onelungelo lokukhetha.
Kodwa-ke, njengoba umkhuba ubonisa (kanye nocwaningo olwenziwa izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo!), Nalezi zinhlelo ezilula zinezinkinga. Kuvela ukuthi nakuba benza kube lula ngathi ukuthola umlingani ongase abe khona, ukuthandana nokugcina lo muzwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, baphazamisa kuphela. Kanjani ngempela?
Izinketho eziningi kakhulu
Sicabanga ukuthi izinhlobonhlobo zozakwethu ezingaba khona zikwenza kube lula kithi. Futhi izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuqomisana zisinikeza "ububanzi" obukhulu ngempela! Nokho, ingabe iwusizo ngempela kangako? Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezivela eNyuvesi yase-Edinburgh zithole ukuthi lapho sibona izinketho eziningi phambi kwethu, sizizwa sinelisekile kancane.
Abahlanganyeli ocwaningweni lwabo bacelwe ukuthi bakhethe ozakwabo abakhangayo kwabangu-6 noma abangu-24 abahlongozwayo. Futhi labo abanikezwa amakhandidethi amaningi bazizwa benelisekile kancane kunalabo “imenyu” yabo yayincane kakhulu.
Kodwa akugcini lapho: labo obekufanele bahlole izinketho ezingu-24 ngaphambi kokwenza ukukhetha kungenzeka ukuthi bashintshe umqondo wabo futhi bakhethe umlingani ohlukile evikini elilandelayo. Kodwa labo abanikezwe abakhethiwe abayisithupha kuphela basala benelisekile ngesinqumo sabo phakathi nesonto elifanayo. Abacwaningi bathola ukuthi uma sinezinketho eziningi, sivame ukuyeka kokukodwa.
Abantu abakhangayo ngokomzimba maningi amathuba okuthi balahle ubudlelwano bamanje bajahe ukuthola obusha.
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziqinisekile ukuthi lapho sidinga ukutadisha inani elikhulu lozakwethu elinikezwa uhlelo lokusebenza, ubuchopho bethu buyakhathala ngokushesha. Ngenxa yalokhu, sigxila kulezo zici ezingase zicatshangelwe ngokushesha, ngaphandle komzamo omkhulu wengqondo. Okokuqala, sikhuluma ngobude, isisindo kanye nokukhanga ngokomzimba kwabazokhethwa.
Uma sikhetha uzakwethu ngokusekelwe kuphela ekutheni ubukeka kahle kangakanani, ubudlelwano cishe bungobesikhashana futhi sengozini yokusidumaza kakhulu. Ngo-2017, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo eNyuvesi yase-Harvard zathola ukuthi abantu abakhangayo bangase bashiye ubudlelwano bamanje futhi bajahe ukuthola abasha.
Ukwenziwa kozakwethu
Lapho sithola isikhathi nethuba lokuxoxa mathupha nomuntu othile, sifunda okuningi ngaye ngokushesha okukhulu. Linjani izwi lakhe langempela? Unuka kanjani? Yikuphi ukuthinta avame ukukusebenzisa? Ingabe unakho ukuhleka okumnandi?
Ukuxhumana nomunye umsebenzisi kuhlelo lokusebenza, sinolwazi oluyivelakancane. Ngokuvamile sinohlu lwemibuzo olufushane esinalo, olubonisa igama, indawo yendawo “yeqhawe lenoveli yethu” kanye, okungenani, izingcaphuno ezimbalwa azithandayo.
Umuntu ophilayo ‘esamphuphuthekisa kulokho okwakukhona’ cishe ngeke ahlangabezane namathemba ethu akhanyayo
Ngaphandle kokubona umuntu wangempela, sithambekele ekugcwaliseni umfanekiso wakhe ngezici ezinhle ezihlukahlukene. Ngokwesibonelo, singase sithi izici zethu ezinhle zivela kuye - noma ngisho nezimfanelo ezinhle zabangane bethu abaseduze.
Ngeshwa, kunengozi enkulu yokuthi umhlangano womuntu siqu ungasidumaza. Umuntu ophilayo ‘esamphuphuthekisa kulokho okwakukhona’ cishe ngeke ahlangabezane namathemba ethu akhanyayo.
Wonke umuntu uqamba amanga
Uma singaqiniseki ukuthi izofika ngisho nasemhlanganweni, kunesilingo esikhulu sokuhlobisa ulwazi ngathi. Futhi abasebenzisi abaningi bohlelo lokusebenza bayavuma ukuthi baqamba amanga ngempela ngepharamitha yabo eyodwa noma enye. Ngokwabacwaningi, abesifazane banamathuba amaningi okuthi babike kabi ngesisindo sabo, futhi amadoda maningi amathuba okuba abike kabi ubude babo. Bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane ngokulinganayo bavame ukuqamba amanga ngemfundo yabo, umsebenzi wabo, iminyaka yabo, nokuthi basothandweni yini okwamanje.
Yiqiniso, esikhathini esifushane, lawa manga angasenza sikhange nakakhulu emehlweni abalingani abangase babe khona, kodwa ngokuvamile, ukuqamba amanga akusona isisekelo esifanele sobuhlobo obujabulisayo besikhathi eside. Futhi ukwethembeka nokwethembeka, ngokuphambene nalokho, kwenza ubuhlobo bethu buqine futhi kusize ukuba sihlale sithembekile komunye nomunye.
Ngakho-ke kuyafaneleka yini ukuqala ubuhlobo nomnyakazo oyingozi kangaka? Mhlawumbe ovumayo ukuhlangana nawe ngeke akubone ukungezwani okuncane phakathi kwamazwi akho kanye neqiniso. Kodwa uma eqaphela, lokhu akunakwenzeka ukusiza ukudala umoya ofudumele phakathi nosuku lokuqala.