Amathiphu angu-10 alabo abanesizungu esingabekezeleleki

Ama-introverts nama-extroverts, abesilisa nabesifazane, abacebile nabampofu, abafundile futhi abangafundile, iningi lethu lizizwa linesizungu ngezikhathi ezithile. Futhi “iningi” akulona nje igama: ngokocwaningo lwakamuva e-US, u-61% wabantu abadala bangathathwa njengabangashadile. Bonke bazizwa benqanyuliwe kwabanye, futhi akunandaba ukuthi ukhona ngempela eduze kwabo noma cha.

Ungazizwa unesizungu esikoleni nasemsebenzini, unabangane noma nophathina wakho. Akukhathaleki ukuthi bangaki abantu esinabo ezimpilweni zethu, okubalulekile ukujula kokuxhumana nabo ngokomzwelo, kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDavid Narang. “Singase sibe phakathi kwamalungu omndeni noma abangane, kodwa uma engekho kubo oqondayo ukuthi yini esiyicabangayo nesibhekene nayo njengamanje, cishe siyoba nesizungu kakhulu.”

Nokho, kuyinto evamile ukuba nesizungu ngezikhathi ezithile. Okubi nakakhulu, bayanda abantu abazizwa ngale ndlela ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Ngo-2017, lowo owayeyiSikhulu Sezokwelapha SaseMelika uVivek Murphy wabiza isizungu ngokuthi “ubhubhane olukhulayo,” esinye sezizathu zokuthi ubuchwepheshe besimanje kanye nezinkundla zokuxhumana zithatha indawo yokusebenzelana kwethu bukhoma nabanye. Isixhumanisi singalandelelwa phakathi kwalesi simo kanye nengozi ekhulayo yokucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, isifo senhliziyo nemithambo yegazi, ukuwohloka komqondo, nokuncipha kweminyaka yokuphila.

Noma ubani angaba nesizungu, kuhlanganise nochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo. “Isizungu namahloni kungenza ngizizwe nginesici, ngingafunwa, ngingathandwa muntu,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nongumqeqeshi uMegan Bruno. “Kubukeka sengathi kulesi simo kungcono ngingadonsi iso lamuntu ngoba uma abantu bengibona nginje bangangifulathela unomphela.

Ungazondla kanjani ngezinsuku lapho unesizungu ngokukhethekile? Yilokho izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezelulekayo.

1. Ungazihluleli ngalomuzwa.

Isizungu ngokwaso asijabulisi, kodwa uma siqala ukuzithethisa ngesimo sethu, kuba kubi kakhulu. “Lapho sizigxeka, umuzwa wecala ugxila ekujuleni kwethu,” kuchaza uMegan Bruno. "Siqala ukukholelwa ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngathi, ukuthi akekho osithandayo."

Kunalokho, funda ukuzizwela. Zitshele ukuthi cishe wonke umuntu uba nalo muzwa ngezikhathi ezithile nokuthi kuvamile ukuphupha ngokusondelana ezweni lethu elihlukene phakathi.

2. Zikhumbuze ukuthi ngeke ube wedwa kuze kube phakade.

“Lo muzwa awulona nhlobo uphawu lokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle kuwe, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, kuzodlula nakanjani. Njengamanje emhlabeni, izigidi zabantu zizizwa ngendlela efanayo neyakho,” kukhumbuza uBruno.

3. Thatha igxathu eliya kubantu

Shayela ilungu lomndeni, khipha umngane uyothola inkomishi yekhofi, noma vele uthumele lokho okuzwayo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. “Ihlazo lizokutshela ukuthi akekho umuntu okuthandayo futhi akekho okudingayo. Ungalilaleli leli zwi. Zikhumbuze ukuthi kufanelekile ukuthatha isinyathelo ngaphandle kombundu wendlu, njengoba ngokuqinisekile uzozizwa ungcono kancane. ”

4. Phuma uye emvelweni

“Ukuhamba ngezinyawo epaki kuyokwanela ukuba kukwenze uzizwe ukhululeke kancane,” kusho uJeremy Nobel, umsunguli womsebenzi oklanyelwe ukusiza ukulwa nesizungu ngobuciko. Ukuxhumana nezilwane nakho kungaphilisa, uthi.

5. Sebenzisa i-smartphone yakho kancane

Isikhathi sokushintsha ukuphequlula okuphakelayo kwenkundla yezokuxhumana ngokuxhumana okubukhoma. “Ukubuka impilo yabanye abantu “ecwebezelayo” “nokungenasici,” sizizwa sidabukisa ngokwengeziwe, kukhumbula uDavid Narang. "Kodwa ukuba umlutha ku-Instagram naku-Facebook kungaguqulelwa kuzuzisa wena uma umeme omunye wabangane bakho ukuze aphuze inkomishi yetiye."

6. Yiba nobuciko

“Funda inkondlo, nika isikhafu, veza noma yini oyizwayo ngendwangu,” kusikisela uNobel. "Zonke lezi izindlela zokuguqula ubuhlungu bakho bube into enhle."

7. Cabanga ngokuthi ubani okuthandayo

Cabanga ngomuntu okuthanda ngempela futhi okukhathalelayo. Zibuze: Ngazi kanjani ukuthi uyangithanda? Ulubonisa kanjani uthando lwakhe? Ngenkathi (a) e (a) ekhona, ngesikhathi engidinga ngaso? "Iqiniso lokuthi omunye umuntu uyakuthanda kakhulu alisho okuningi ngaye kuphela, kodwa futhi ngawe - ufanelwe uthando nokusekelwa," uNarang uqinisekile.

8. Funa amathuba okusondelana kancane nabantu ongabazi.

Ukumoyizela othile ohlezi ngaphesheya kwakho esitimeleni esingaphansi komhlaba, noma ukubamba umnyango uvule esitolo segrosa, kungakulethela eduze kancane nalabo abaseduze kwakho. “Lapho uvumela othile emgqeni, zama ukucabanga ukuthi lowo muntu uzizwa kanjani,” kusikisela uNarang. "Sonke sidinga izenzo ezincane zomusa, ngakho thatha isinyathelo sokuqala."

9. Bhalisela amakilasi eqembu

Tshala imbewu yokuxhumana okuzayo ngokujoyina iqembu elihlangana njalo. Khetha okuthakaselayo: inhlangano yamavolontiya, inhlangano yochwepheshe, iklabhu yezincwadi. "Ngokwabelana ngemibono yakho nabanye abahlanganyeli bomcimbi, uzobanikeza ithuba lokukwazi kangcono futhi bazikhulule," uNarang uqinisekile.

10. Cacisa umlayezo odluliswa isizungu kuwe.

Esikhundleni sokubalekela lo muzwa, zama ukubhekana nawo ubuso nobuso. “Qaphela konke okuzwayo ngesikhathi esifanayo: ukungakhululeki, imicabango, imizwa, ukushuba kwesimo emzimbeni,” kweluleka uNarang. - Cishe, emaminithini ambalwa, ukucaca kuzofika ekhanda lakho: uzoqonda ukuthi yiziphi izinyathelo ezithile okufanele uzithathe. Lolu hlelo, olwakhiwe esimweni esizolile, luzosebenza kakhulu kunezenzo ezihlukene esizenzayo sonke ngamandla emizwa.

Uma sekuyisikhathi sokucela usizo

Njengoba sesishilo, isizungu siyisimo esivamile, futhi ngenxa yokuthi ubhekene nakho akusho ukuthi kukhona "okungalungile" ngawe. Kodwa-ke, uma lo muzwa ungakushiyi isikhathi eside futhi ubona ukuthi usonqenqemeni lokucindezeleka, yisikhathi sokufuna usizo.

Esikhundleni sokuqhubeka uziqhelelanisa nabanye, hlela ukuvakashelwa nochwepheshe - isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo noma i-psychotherapist. Kuzokusiza ukuthi uxhumane nabanye futhi uzizwe uthandwa futhi udingeka futhi.