Asimdingi ngaso sonke isikhathi umuntu ozozama ukulungisa yonke into futhi anikeze isisombululo senkinga. Kwesinye isikhathi ufuna othandiweyo abe khona futhi akhombise ukuzwelana naye. Indlela yokwenza kahle, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Aaron Karmine.
Kwenzeka ukuthi sidinga uzwela kanye nesimo sengqondo esifudumele esivela kothandekayo, kodwa esikhundleni salokho sihlangabezana nendlela "yebhizinisi". Futhi ngenxa yalokhu, sizizwa sibi nakakhulu - kuqala ukubonakala kithi ukuthi sisodwa futhi asiqondi. Ungafunda kanjani ukuqonda kangcono umlingani futhi ubonise uzwela? Nansi eminye imibono.
1. Sula ingqondo yakho kukho konke okungadingekile futhi ugxile ngokuphelele ku-interlocutor.
2. Naka izimpawu ezingasho lutho.
Zama ukubheka emehlweni omlingani wakho kaningi, kodwa ungadlulisi ukuze ungabangeli ukungakhululeki. Ukubheka ngamehlo kukusiza ukuthi uhlale ugxile engxoxweni, futhi kudlulisa ulwazi oluningi olubalulekile.
Kulula kakhulu ukuqonda imizwelo ye-interlocutor uma unaka ulimi lomzimba. Lokhu kuzosiza ukugwema ukungaboni ngaso linye kanye nesilingo sokubeka imizwa yakho komunye - phela, izimpawu ezingasho lutho zisibonisa ngokucacile ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngempela.
3. Ukulalela indaba, zama ukuqonda ukuthi othandekayo wazizwa kanjani lapho izenzakalo zenzeka, nokuthi yini abhekene nayo manje, ekhumbula.
Uzakwethu udinga ukwesekwa kwethu. Kumelwe sivuleleke ngokomzwelo ukuze akwazi ukwabelana ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, akubalulekile kangako ukuthi singene sijule kuyo yonke imininingwane yendaba - yize kufanele futhi siyinake. Siyasiza kakade ngokulalela nokubona ubuhlungu bakhe bengqondo.
4. Bonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uzimisele ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe siqu futhi ukwamukele.
Wonke umuntu unelungelo lemizwa ethintekayo. Kubalulekile ukukhombisa umlingani wakho ukuthi siyayihlonipha imizwa yakhe futhi siyithathe ngokungathi sína. Akumele uzame ukuwashintsha. Yamukela nje ukuthi uzizwa kanjena njengamanje futhi umyeke.
5. Cabangela imizwa yomlingani wakho ngobumnene nangokungabambeki ukukhombisa ukuthi uyayiqonda.
Ngokwesibonelo, uyakhononda: “Usuku olubi. Kwakukhona umhlangano emsebenzini - ngangicabanga ukuthi sizokhuluma ngento eyodwa, kodwa baxoxisane ngento ehluke ngokuphelele. Lapho sekuyithuba lami lokukhuluma, ngazizwa ngiyisiphukuphuku ngokuphelele, futhi umqashi wayengajabule neze.”
Indlela yokuveza imizwa yakhe? Ithi, "Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi kwenzekile, sithandwa, kufanele kube okungajabulisi kakhulu." Uyayivuma imizwa yomlingani wakho futhi ungazami ukuhlola okwenzekile. Lena indlela elula nesheshayo yokubonisa ukuthi uyiqonda kahle imizwa yakhe, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ungamphazamisi endabeni.
6. Bonisa uzwela.
Ngezinye izikhathi into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukwanga. Kwenzeka ukuthi sizwelane nomuntu, nakuba singenakukwazi ukuhlanganyela ngokugcwele okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe. Kulokhu, hhayi amagama azosiza kangcono, kodwa izenzo - izinkulumo ezingezona zamazwi zothando nokusekela.
Yini okufanele yenziwe? Kuya ngokuthi othandekayo ukhetha ini - abanye bafuna ukwanga ngezikhathi ezinzima, abanye bazojatshuliswa ukumomotheka kancane, futhi kubalulekile ukuthi umuntu abambe izandla.
7. Buza ukuthi yini ongayenza.
Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho udinga ukulalelwa, noma ufuna ukuzwa umbono wakho. Noma udinga usizo lwakho. Ukuze ungaqageli futhi umnike lokho akudingayo manje, kungcono ukumbuza ngokuqondile lokho akudingayo manje.
Mayelana nombhali: U-Aaron Carmine uyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sasemtholampilo e-Urban Balance Psychological Services e-Chicago.