I-Ghosting, ibhuloho, i-caspering: izitayela ezintsha ezinonya ebudlelwaneni

Ezinsukwini zamaqhawe amahle nabesifazane benhliziyo bebalindile, into enjalo yayingenakwenzeka. Amabanga ayemade, ahlala kancane, futhi sasingekho isikhathi sokushintshisana ngemidlalo engavamile kwezokuxhumana. Manje umhlaba usuthuthele kanye nayo yonke imizwa nemicabango yawo kuma-smartphone namakhompyutha, futhi amabanga amade adilikile ngokuchofoza okukodwa. Futhi asikho isidingo sokuthi ugibele ihhashi inyanga yonke ukuze uvume uthando lwakho enkosazaneni enhle, ezokubuza nezimfumbe ezintathu, futhi kuhle uma uphila.

Namuhla, ubudlelwano buyagqashuka ngokuphazima kweso futhi buphinde bunyamalale ngokuphazima kweso, ngezinye izikhathi ngendlela exakile. Kwakukhona ngisho namagama akhethekile amaqhinga anjalo angaqondakali ekukhulumisaneni. Umqeqeshi, umeluleki womuntu siqu kanye nezithandani waseHamburg, umbhali wezincwadi ezimbalwa ezikhuluma ngobudlelwano nokulutheka ngokomzwelo, u-Eric Hermann uchaza ukuthi iyini ingqikithi yemikhuba emisha kanye nendlela yokuziphatha ezimweni ezinjalo.

I-Ghosting

Omunye wozakwethu uvele ayeke ukuxhumana ngaphandle kokuchazela omunye lutho. Inyamalala njengesipoki. Ishaya indiva noma imiphi imizamo yokukhuluma futhi ithole izizathu. Imilayezo ku-WhatsApp ingamakwa njengefundiwe, kodwa ngeke kube khona impendulo. Ngisho noma benithandana futhi konke kwakubonakala kuhamba kahle. Lokhu kungenzeka noma ngabe ubudlelwano benu sebuvele buqale ukuqhubekela ebudlelwaneni obuhlala njalo. Phela isikhathi esiningi nasichitha ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, kumuntu oye wathola isipoki, ukunyamalala okunjalo angeke kube buhlungu kuphela, kodwa futhi kuhlukumeze.

“Ngenzeni? Nginecala ngani? Uhlu lwemibuzo okufanele uzibuze yona alupheli. Okhethe ukuba yisipoki uyigwala, u-Eric Hermann unesiqiniseko, ngaphandle kwalokho ubezosho ngqo ukuthi akakuthandi, noma uthole omunye noma okunye, noma achaze ukuthi manje unenkathi enzima futhi udinga. ukuze azilungise. Noma iyiphi incazelo eqondakalayo ingaba isisombululo kule nkinga. Kodwa akakwazi. Isu lakhe elokuthi abaleke. Lapho kuvela khona izimpande, vumela udokotela wakhe wengqondo ukuthi akuthole.

Indlela yokusabela? Kufanele ukhumbule ukuthi awunacala ngalutho. Ungaqageli ukuthi yiziphi “izithiyo ezinkulu” ezimvimbe ekutholeni indlela yokuxhumana nawe. Lapho kudingeka, sidabula izindonga. Kodwa akazange. “Isivakashi” sinezinqubo zaso ezingokwengqondo kanye nokungqubuzana kwangaphakathi. Ungachithi isikhathi namandla ngesipoki, linda impendulo evela kuye. Zama ukululama ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ngemva kwesigameko esingemnandi. Gxila kangcono kulabo abanentshisekelo enkulu kuwe futhi ongeyona nje inombolo yocingo kubo ohlwini lwakho lokuxhumana.

Iningi

Lolu uhlobo lwesipoki lwamaJesuit. Lapho umlingani eqala ukuphakamisa omunye, izihlambi ngokunaka, ukuncoma okuphanayo, izimemezelo zothando cishe kusukela ngosuku lokuqala. Lokhu, ngendlela, kufanele kukuxwayise - emva kwakho konke, uyaqonda ukuthi imizwa ejulile ithatha isikhathi. Futhi ngosuku olulodwa noma ezimbili ngeke zivele. Kepha uphuthelwe izincomo nokudunyiswa kakhulu!

Futhi manje, lapho uhileleke ngokomzwelo ngokugcwele ebuhlotsheni futhi usuvele ucishe ube ngamaphesenti ayikhulu uqinisekile ukuthi uhlangabezane nothando lokuphila kwakho, uthola ukushaya kwesisu nobuhlungu obukhulu. "Othandiweyo" wakho ubonakala eshintsha iswishi kungazelelwe. Uyanyamalala ku-radar, izingcingo nemiyalezo azinakwa, imihlangano iyakhanselwa noma yeqiwe.

Indlela yokusabela? Ingozi yalolu hlobo lobudlelwano obunobuthi iwukuthi uma ususendaweni yesigameko, ungalahlekelwa ukholo kubantu obajwayele ngempumelelo kanye nobuqotho bomlingani wakho isikhathi eside. Futhi uzozizwa ukubamba kuzo zonke izincomo. Khumbula ukuthi akuwona wonke umuntu wesilisa noma owesifazane oziphatha ngale ndlela. Eqinisweni, laba bantu bakha ingxenye encane kakhulu yabantu bomhlaba. Okubalulekile uma nazana wukubona ngokushesha nokugwema laba balingisi. Futhi isibonakaliso sokuqala sikhulu kakhulu futhi ukugeleza okwanele kokuncoma, futhi ngisho nangaphezulu ukukhuluma ngomshado, izinhlelo ezinkulu zekusasa nothando olukhulu lokuphila. Niyabo? Ilambu elibomvu selivuliwe!

I-Hyping

Ifana kakhulu ne-ghosting kanye nebhuloho. Kodwa umehluko wukuthi ebudlelwaneni obunjalo uwumklomelo wokududuza, uyisiteshi sendlela. Uzakwethu uphinde akugezise ngomfudlana wamafutha kanye nezincomo, akhe amapulani ahlangene amakhulu. Futhi lokhu kuwukukhohlisa okuqaphelayo, hhayi umfutho wesikhashana oqotho. Kuyamjabulisa ukuthi uchoma udobo lwakhe, ubonga ngomdlandla. Kodwa uyazi ukuthi intshiseko yakho imane nje imdalela. Ngakho uphakamisa ukuzethemba kwakhe.

Lokhu kuvame ukuziphatha kwabantu abane-narcissistic. Abakuthandi, kodwa uthando lwakho ngokwabo. Futhi lapho beyishisa ngokushesha, iba mnandi kakhulu futhi iyathakazelisa kubo. Ngemva kokunambitha injabulo yokunqoba, bona, njengamacala amabili okuqala, bakushiya, bememezela ukuthi abakulungele ubuhlobo obunzima. Futhi ezinyangeni eziyisithupha kamuva, bamemezela umshado oseduze ezinkundleni zokuxhumana - kodwa, kunjalo, hhayi nawe. Usuyifezile indima yakho kuye - usize i-ego yakhe ukuthi ikhule ibe usayizi omusha werekhodi.

Indlela yokusabela? Okunyanyisa kakhulu ngalolu hlobo lobudlelwano wukuthi lowo ohlukumezekile usala enomuzwa wokuthi usetshenzisiwe. Empeleni, indlela okuyiyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kubuhlungu kangakanani ukuvuma. Kodwa kukhona ikhambi ekuqaleni kokuthandana. Ingabe bakutshela okuningi futhi bakuthembise? Sonke ngezinye izikhathi siwela ebuntwaneni, futhi sifuna ukukholelwa ezinganekwaneni, ikakhulukazi ngegagasi lenjabulo.

U-Eric Hermann uncoma "ukuhlolwa kwangempela" kaningi - ukuhlola amagama anezenzo, okungenani, njengobuningi - kuhlanganise nokucabanga okujulile. Buza umbuzo: uzokwenza kanjani, impilo yami izohlelwa kanjani ngaleso sikhathi? Ngokuvamile, lapho ingxoxo ifika emininingwaneni nasezenzweni ezithile, “umxoxi wezindaba” akakwazi ukuphendula noma yini eqondakalayo, ngaphandle kokuthi “Ngizokuyisa onqenqemeni Lwendawo Yonke futhi ngikunike izinkanyezi.” Kodwa ngingathanda ukubheka inkanyezi futhi ngithole imali yokugibela. Futhi ulalele umuzwa wakho - ngokuvamile unikeza amasignali, kodwa awufuni ukuwakholelwa!

I-Orbiting

Izipoki nama-mosters, ngokumangalisayo, zingase zibuye. Bangakwazi "ukushintsha umqondo wabo", banqume ukuthi bajabule. Kodwa izophinde ibe "i-gypsy ephumayo." Bazothanda ngokuzumayo okuthunyelwe kwakho noma isithombe. Kwesinye isikhathi kuzoba yisithombe esidala kakhulu. Futhi uzomangala: wow, usebenze kanzima ukuyithola ekujuleni kwe-akhawunti yami. Mhlawumbe ngisenendaba naye? Noma shiya amazwana amafushane akubonisayo: Ngikhona.

Kodwa igama liyazikhulumela: sigcinwa emzileni. Asindizi njengenkanyezi enomsila sidlula lo mlingiswa ongaziwa. Usigcina kude kangangokuthi singaphansi kokuqondisa kwakhe futhi sazi ngakho. Kodwa abangeni ekuxhumaneni okuqondile - ngemilayezo, ngocingo, futhi nakakhulu emhlanganweni womuntu siqu.

Indlela yokusabela? Awuqondi ukuthi kwenzakalani. Ulahlekelwe ngokuphelele: uma sahlukana ngaphandle kwencazelo futhi angizange ngimfanele, kungani ezenza azizwe? Into elula futhi eqinisekile ongayenza ukuvimba "i-orbiter" kuwo wonke amanethiwekhi omphakathi, amapulatifomu, kuhlu oluvinjelwe inombolo yakhe yocingo. Ukuze angakwazi ukufinyelela iphrofayela yakho noma kuphi. Kungale ndlela kuphela lapho eyoqonda khona ukuthi ukhululekile kuye. Kodwa uma uzithola usembundwini futhi, qina futhi ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuthi ukuphathe kanjani, umqeqeshi uyatusa. Akekho ofanelwe yimpatho enjalo.

I-Бенчинг (Benching)

Umlingani wakho ukuhlalisa ebhentshini. Ukuthumelela imilayezo ngezikhathi ezithile, angakumemela ukuze niphuze inkomishi yekhofi. Futhi kubonakala sengathi ubona isithakazelo sakhe, uyathandeka, uhloniphekile, ngazo zonke izinkomba - uyakuthanda, kodwa awukwazi ukulinda isinyathelo esilandelayo.

Kwesinye isikhathi ukuxhumana okunjalo akulokothi kushiye indawo ebonakalayo kube kweyoqobo. Bangabhalelana nawe amasonto, futhi ngokungagwegwesi, kodwa abasoze bathembisa ukuhlangana. Umlingani wakho akanaso isiqiniseko sokuthi uyinto engcono kakhulu ahlangane nayo empilweni yakhe. Kudingekile ukukugcina useduze, kodwa futhi "ungabambeki" ngokungathí sina - kungazelelwe umuntu ofanelekayo uzohlangana.

Indlela yokusabela? Akekho othanda ukupheka emlilweni omncane. Awuqondi ukuthi yini inkinga. Ukulinda isikhathi esingakanani? Ukuvuleleka, ukwethembeka, ukusondelana kwangempela, hhayi ukucabanga ngakho - yilokho esikulindele ebuhlotsheni. Othintwayo ongakuniki lokhu uyimbali engenalutho. Ingabe usukulungele ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile mayelana neqiniso lokuthi awufuni ukuhlala ebhentshini?

Caspering

Lokhu ukusingathwa kwefomethi ekhanyayo. Umlingani wakho unyamalala esikhaleni. Kodwa ukwenza ngobumnene, kancane kancane, ngaphandle kokunqunywa okubukhali komphefumulo wethu. Igama livela ku-cute cartoon ghost uCasper. Nahlangana, nichitha isikhathi ndawonye, ​​nikhuluma imbudane emnandi komunye nomunye. Kwakubonakala sengathi basondelene kakhulu, futhi ekujuleni kwakho uphupha ngekusasa elihlangene. Kuphela akwenzekanga lutho.

Kodwa ngokungafani nesipoki, i-caspering ihilela incazelo. “Lalela, ngibe nesikhathi esimnandi, kodwa ayikho inhlansi, ngiyaxolisa.” Noma “Ngiyabonga ngesikhathi esihle, umuhle kakhulu, umuhle, kodwa anginayo nje imizwa emikhulu, uyazi? Ngiyaxolisa". Ngezinye izikhathi umoya wesikhathi esizayo unciphisa kancane kancane ukuxhumana kube yize, ngaphandle kokuchaza lutho. Yini ukuchaza? Futhi ngakho konke kucacile.

Indlela yokusabela? Le ndlela yokuqeda ubuhlobo izodala insalela kanye nobuhlungu obuthile. Kodwa, uyabona, akubuhlungu kakhulu uma kunezipoki noma ibhuloho. Siyabonga okungenani ngokuchaza. Naka ekuqaleni kobudlelwane kunoma yiziphi izimpawu ze-intuition: ingabe uthembisa okuningi, kodwa wenza okuncane? Noma unomuzwa wokuthi ayikho ngempela inhlansi, imilayezo yomile futhi ayivamile, kodwa uqiniseka ngenkani ukuthi lokhu kungokwesikhashana futhi konke kuzohamba kahle - ngakho-ke akufanele udonse ubuhlobo obunjalo futhi wakhe inkohliso.

I-Бредкрампинг (I-Breadcrumbing)

Ngokwezwi nezwi, lisho “ukupha imvuthuluka yesinkwa.” Ukuqomisana ku-inthanethi, into evamile. Lona othintana naye ogcwele okulindelekile okungamanga. Lapha, ngokungafani nebhentshi, kunendawo yokuthakasela yangempela kanye nokudlala ngothando. Kodwa imigomo ihluke ngokuphelele kunobudlelwane obunempilo, lapho ukudlala ngothando kuyibhuloho lolunye usuku.

Iimvuthu zesinkwa ezijwayelekile zingamazwana amafushane ngaphansi kwezithombe ze-Instagram, imiyalezo ezenzakalelayo efana nokuthi "Ngavele ngacabanga ngawe," noma ukuthanda okuningi nama-emoji athunyelwa kaningi. Futhi lokhu kungase kuqhubeke amasonto noma izinyanga. Ngakho? Lutho. Imvamisa izindlela ezinjalo zisetshenziswa yilabo abafuna ukondla i-ego yabo ngezindleko zakho, kepha awusoze wathola imvuthuluka yayo eyanele.

Imvamisa, “abanqobi” abanjalo sebevele besebudlelwaneni empilweni yangempela, abagculiseki ngabo, kodwa abafuni ukushintsha lutho noma abalokothi. Endaweni ephephile ye-smartphone, bakhulisa ukuzethemba kwabo, bahlekise ukuziqhenya kwabesilisa noma besifazane, bebona ukuthi bathole ingxenye yentshisekelo ekhelini labo.

Indlela yokusabela? Qeda lobu budlelwano - akukho okuzovela kubo. Kungani ungasebenza njengesikhungo sokuphehla ugesi ukuze uzuze omunye ngaphandle kokuthola lutho? Yebo, futhi ake sicabange ngokweqiniso: akukho obekulindelekile njengembuyiselo, lona bekuwumdlalo wohlangothi olulodwa ekuqaleni.