Okuqukethwe
Siyazi ukuthi ukuthinta kunamandla okuphilisa. Omama bashaya izingane - futhi bayahleka futhi bahambe. Izithandani zibambana ngezandla zinamahloni, futhi ngaleso sikhathi izinkulungwane zezimvemvane zishaya amaphiko azo ngaphakathi kuzo. Sanga umngane obhekene nezikhathi ezinzima, futhi siyazi ukuthi ihlombe lethu liyoba umsekeli wakhe.
Yebo, ukuthinta kozakwethu kubaluleke kakhulu. Uma kunobuhlobo obuthembekile, obufudumele nobunempilo phakathi kwethu nesithandwa sethu, ezimweni eziningi ukuthinta kwakhe kuyosinikeza injabulo engavamile. Kodwa ingabe kufanelekile ukuthinta umlingani uma okwamanje ekhuluma ngento emenza abe novalo?
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kubonakala sengathi ngezandla zethu singanciphisa izinga lokucindezeleka kothandekayo futhi sibonise ukusekela kwakhe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngokuvamile asizami nokugona umuntu ophatheke kabi njengamanje, ngoba sicabanga ukuthi: “Kufanele nakanjani abe yedwa njengamanje.” Kuthiwani uma senza izinto zibe zimbi nakakhulu?
Ungithintani?
Kungani sidinga ngisho nokuthintana? Ingabe amagama awanele? Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuthinta kusho ukuthi sisondelene kakhulu nalowo esimthintayo. Lena yindlela esibonisa ngayo ukuthi sizonikeza usizo uma kudingeka. Lokhu kufakazelwa imiphumela yocwaningo olushicilelwe kumagazini iSocial and Personal Relations.
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezivela emanyuvesi aseSyracuse naseCarnegie Mellon (USA) zifunde ukuthi ukuthintana kozakwethu kusithinta kanjani ngezikhathi lapho sesaba noma sinzima. Ucwaningo lwabo lwaluhilela imibhangqwana eshadile engu-210. Amavolontiya aqale aphendula imibuzo mayelana nokuthi aneliseke kangakanani ngobudlelwano bawo. Ngemva kwenqubo yokuxhumana phakathi kozakwethu, bayiqopha kuvidiyo ukuze bahlole uhlangothi olungakhulumi lwendaba.
Abacwaningi bacele omunye wozakwethu ukuthi atshele omunye ngalokho okumenza athuke. Isici esidala ukucindezeleka kungaba noma yini - kusukela ezinkingeni emsebenzini kuya ekuguleni nasekuxabaneni nabantu obathandayo. Okuwukuphela kwento, indaba yezinxushunxushu bekungafanele ithinte ubudlelwano obuseduze phakathi kwabahlanganyeli. Laba bashadikazi banikezwe imizuzu eyisishiyagalombili ukuba bakhulume ngodaba oluthile, okwathi ngemva kwalokho bacelwa ukuba bashintshe izindima.
Ukuthinta kusiza ukudala indawo ephephile egwema ukuhlupheka okungadingekile.
Imiphumela yocwaningo iqinisekise ukuthi ukuthintwa kwabathandekayo kubaluleke kakhulu. Labo ababambiqhaza abashaywa futhi baduduzwa ngesandla ohlelweni lwezingxoxo ngaphezu kwabanye babike ukuthi ukuzethemba kwabo kwanda, kuyilapho ukungezwani, ngokuphambene nalokho, kwehla. Nabo babevame ukusho ukuthi bakwazi ukubhekana nezinkinga zabo.
Ngokuphawulekayo, kokubili labo “abathinta inhliziyo” ababambiqhaza abalalele nalabo ababelane ngezinkinga zabo babona abalingani babo bebahle kakhulu kunalabo ababethinta abathandekayo babo kancane kancane futhi babe mancane amathuba okuba bathole “ama-pats” kubalingani.
Ngomnyakazo owodwa
Kuvela ukuthi ukuthinta omunye kuyasiza kunoma yikuphi. I-Touch isiza ekwakheni indawo ephephile egwema ukuhlupheka okungadingekile, kusho ososayensi. Ngakho-ke ngokuzayo lapho isithandwa sakho siqala ukukhononda ngomphathi ongabekezeleleki, noma lapho othandekayo wakho ekhuluma ngenye ingxabano yendawo yokupaka, vele ummbambathe engalweni. Ngisho noma kungenzi ozakwethu bakho babuyekeze ukuqhubeka kwabo noma bacabange ukuthenga indawo yegaraji, kuzokwenza izinto zibe lula kubo. Isayensi iyakuqinisekisa lokhu.