Okuqukethwe
Umdala, ukungathí sina okufanele kuphumelele
Umdala ukhombisa indlela ngoba usenza abazali futhi usungula umndeni. Ngaphambi kwakhe, sasiyizithandani ezimbalwa, ngemva kwakhe, singabazali abambalwa, sihlala sithandana impela... Lesi senzakalo sokuqala sokuqala siyasijabulisa: sincoma ukubhodla kwakhe kokuqala, izinyo lakhe lokuqala, izinyathelo zakhe zokuqala, izwi lakhe lokuqala. … Futhi ziningi izithombe zakhe kunezezingane ezilandelayo ku-albhamu yomndeni… Enye inzuzo, iUmdala unakwa kuphela abazali, kuyavuza kakhulu ukubona ukuthi abazali bakhe banamehlo kuphela kuye, kuqinisa "ukuzethemba" okuhle. Lokho kuwuhlangothi oluhle, kodwa izibulo libuye lisule ama-casts futhi lihlushwa izinkathazo namaphutha abazali bakhe abasaqala ... Kukuye ukuthi baveze amathemba abo nezifiso zabo, nguye okufanele agcwalise izikhala zabo futhi balungise abakugejileyo. Njengoba ama-shrinks esho, omdala ushada “neurosis yabazali”! Bebhekene nalokhu kucindezela kwabazali okuphawulekayo, abadala benza konke ukuze bahambisane nezifiso zabazali, balalela ngokwengeziwe, bangathi sína kakhulu, banomthwalo wemfanelo kakhudlwana. Emikhayeni emikhulu, amadodakazi amadala avame ukukhononda ngokuthi aye aphoqelelwa ukuba anakekele izingane nokuthi aye ahlupheka ngokuziphatha “njengomama abancane” abazinikele naphezu kokuzikhandla kwawo. Abafana abadala baziswa kakhulu futhi ngokuvamile bajabulela igunya lobuholi bemvelo lapho sebekhulile. Ekugcineni, iphutha okufanele siligweme liwukucela umdala ukuba aphelele. Ngisho noma emude kunazo zonke izingane zakubo, unelungelo lokucasuka nokucasuka. Lapho eneminyaka engu-3, 4, 5, 6 ubudala, useyingane! Uma simphoqa ukuba “akhule” ngokushesha, ngeke alithole ithuba lokujabulela ubuntwana bakhe futhi akufanele umsole uma engafuni ukukhula futhi eziphethe njengengane eneminyaka engu-20 ubudala. okwedlule…
Encane, ihlongandlebe elihlakaniphile
Uma kukhona izingane ezimbili kuphela, omncane uyadlubulunda kunomfowabo omdala noma udadewabo omdala ngoba uzakha ngokufuna ukuhluka kuye.. Encane inentula. Kusukela eneminyaka engu-2, uyazi ukuthi akasoze abe nendawo yokuqala, ukuthi akazange abe yedwa njengomdala oboniswa njengesibonelo, onamalungelo, owenza konke ngaphambili futhi obonakala etshalwe kakhulu ngabazali. Uyazi ukuthi kubazali, i-déjà vu, ukuthi abangeni e-ecstasies kakhulu. Uma bobabili bobulili obufanayo, umhawu phakathi kwabo ubaluleke kakhulu, kodwa futhi ukuhambisana. Uma bebobulili obuhlukile, ngamunye uqinisekisa amalungelo akhe (“Nginepipi” nokuthi “Ngizozala izingane” …), ayaphelelisana futhi ayanciphisi umona omunye komunye. Kubazali nakubazali, lokhu kuwushintsho lwangempela. Bamangala ukuthola lokho ababengakwazi ngeyokuqala, akuyona "i-remake". THEI-cadet yakhiwe ngombono wokuthi uhlala ephuzile kancane. Lokhu kungamdikibalisa, kodwa futhi kumkhuthaze ngoba ulazisa ithemba lokuthi ekugcineni uzolidlula imodeli yakhe! Ubuhle bokuba ngumntwana omncane ukuthi ufunda izinto eziningi ngokubuka nokulingisa umfowabo omkhulu noma udadewabo omkhulu ... Akadingi ukususa umhlaba, sekuvele kwenziwa. Ngaleyo ndlela abadala, bengakufuni ngempela, bavumela abasebasha ukuthi bazondle ngakho konke abakwaziyo ukukwenza. Sisagcizelela ukuthi abazali bafundiswe, kepha imfundo yezingane zakini ikhona, noma ingabonwa kangako! Uma kunezingane ezintathu, uthunjana unamathele phakathi kokuthakasela umdala nokuthinta umona koncane. esivame ukudela konke kuye! Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthi abazali bawuhlukanise nowokuqala futhi bagweme ukubiza ngokuthi "omncane".
Omncane, umpetha wokuyenga
“Uyingane yezingane zakini” ngoba akekho ofuna ukumbona ekhula. Kuyaye kuthiwe uyena omoshekile, ohlonishwayo kunabo bonke kodwa kuya ngokuthi ukufika kwakhe kutshalwe kanjani ngabazali. Uma efika kade elandela abanye, angabingelelwa njengeqhawe elonakele umndeni wonke (okuhlanganisa obhuti nodadewethu), kodwa futhi njengenkathazo, leyo ebesingayilindele futhi esiphoqa ukuthi siphinde singene kumanabukeni nasemabhodleleni ebesicabanga ukuthi sesiwaqedile! Ipharamitha ebalulekile ukuze i-cadet igcwaliseke ukuthi wamukelekile. Kanye naye, kufanele sigcizelele inqubekelaphambili yakhe, sigweme “ukukhuluma nengane” nayo futhi singamvaleli embonweni womuntu omncane ongenangqondo ongakwazi ukwenqatshwa kuye. Ngaphandle kwalokho, uzifaka engozini yokudumazeka lapho esemdala ngaphandle komkhaya wakubo. Ikakhulukazi emkhakheni wezobuchwepheshe lapho isidingo sakhe sokukhonzwa singeke sidlule nhlobo!
Indawo yamawele kuzelamani
Ukufika kwamawele noma amawele amathathu kuzelamani kungaba yinkinga kwezinye izingane. Bazizwa bekhishwa inyumbazane futhi ngezinye izikhathi baze babe nolaka, noma babe nobunzima esikoleni, okuyindlela yabo yokuheha ukunakwa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngoba amawele alawula ngokufanelekile konke ukunakwa nesikhathi sabazali. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngenxa yokuthi amawele anamandla okuthakazelisa abantu abadala kanti abanye ngokuzumayo bazizwa bengaphansi "okungavamile", ngakho-ke bangathandeki. Lapho benomehluko omncane namawele, ngokuvamile bawabheka njengombhangqwana obambene futhi onamandla ongabaza indawo yawo. Bangase bayibambele igqubu le nhlangano, abazozama ngayo, phakathi kweminyaka engu-7-8, ukuyihlukanisa. Ukukhawulela lo muzwa, kubalulekile ukuthi abazali bathole isikhathi esikhethekile - nesomuntu ngamunye - ngengane yabo ngayinye. Ngokwesibonelo, ngokushiya amawele nogogo nomkhulu. Okokugcina, kufanele siqinisekise wonke umuntu: amawele adla isikhathi, lokho kuyiqiniso, kodwa ngeke kuhlale.