Okuqukethwe
Nakuba kubalulekile ukuhambisana nezingane zakho, lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele uzitshele konke. Kubalulekile ukuzigcina, ezinye izinto ezithinta abantu abadala kuphela…
Xoxa ngalokho okumkhathazayo
Uma sazi namuhla ukuthi izimfihlo zomndeni zingaba yingozi kangakanani, siyazi futhi ukuthi insalela yolwazi olunikezwa kusenesikhathi inobuthi obufanayo. Ngakho-ke silukhetha kanjani ulwazi olulungile esingabelana ngalo nabantwana bethu abancane? Kulula kakhulu, izingane zinelungelo lokwazi okuzikhathazayo ngqo. Isibonelo umndeni uyashintsha, ukuthutha, ukushona emndenini, izifo zabo noma ezabazali babo. Futhi banelungelo lokwazi konke okuhlobene nemvelaphi yabo, indawo yabo ekuhlanganyeleni, ukutholwa kwabo okungenzeka. Kunjalo, asikhulumi nengane eneminyaka emi-3 noma emi-4 njengentsha eneminyaka engu-15 ubudala! Kutuswa ukuba umuntu azibeke endaweni efinyeleleka kalula, athole amagama alula angawaqonda futhi anciphise imininingwane engafanele engase imphazamise. Akulula neze ukubhekana nobunzima bokuphila nengane encane, kodwa kubalulekile ngoba inamehlo, izindlebe futhi iyabona ukuthi isimo somkhaya siphazamisekile. Okubalulekile ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi sihambisane nezindaba ezimbi ezinemiyalezo eyakhayo yethemba: “Ubaba ulahlekelwe umsebenzi, kodwa ungakhathazeki, siyohlala sinakho okudingekayo ukuze siphile, sidle, sithole indawo yokuhlala, sithinte izibonelelo. Ubaba wakho ufuna umsebenzi omusha uzowuthola. »Lungiselela kahle lokho ozokusho, linda uze uzizwe unamandla ngokwanele ukukhuluma ngomoya ophansi, ngaphandle kokukhathazeka, ngaphandle kokukhala izinyembezi. Uma othandekayo egula, nikeza ukwaziswa ngokungagwegwesi nangethemba: “Sikhathazekile ngoba ugogo wakho uyagula, kodwa odokotela benza konke abangakwenza ukuze bamnakekele. Sonke sithemba ukuthi uzophila. “
Setha imikhawulo
Nakuba kuzwakala kuwubulwane, umntwana osacathula kufanele axwayiswe lapho kushona umuntu obalulekile emkhayeni, ngamazwi alula, acacile, afanele iminyaka: “Umkhulu wakho ufile. Sonke sibuhlungu kakhulu, ngeke sikukhohlwe ngoba sizokugcina ezinhliziyweni zethu. “Kubalulekile ukuthi ungasebenzisi izingathekiso okumele zingabi bukhali ezindlebeni ezincane, njengokuthi: “Umkhulu wakho usanda kushona, uye ezulwini, uhambe uhambo olude, usishiyile, walala unomphela…”. Ngempela, ingane ithatha yonke into ngokoqobo futhi iyaqiniseka ukuthi umufi uzobuya, avuke, aphinde avele… Qaphela ukuthi ukhuluma nayo ubuso nobuso, qaphela ukusabela kwayo, umlalele. Uma uthola ukuthi ubukeka edabukile, ekhathazekile, esaba, mkhuthaze ukuba akutshele lokho akuzwayo, mqinisekise futhi umduduze.
Uma usunikeze ulwazi, uma usuphendule umbuzo owodwa noma emibili, ungangeni emininingwaneni ecacile kakhulu, noma ewuhlaka kakhulu. Indima yakho njengomzali iwukuba, njengakuzo zonke izinto, ubeke imingcele: “Ngikutshelile okudingeka ukwazi njengamanje. Kamuva, lapho usukhulile, singaphinda sikhulume ngakho uma uthanda. Sizokuchazela futhi uzokwazi konke ofuna ukukwazi. "Ukumtshela ukuthi kunezinto angeke aziqonde okwamanje ngoba mncane kakhulu kusho umkhawulo phakathi kwezizukulwane futhi kuzomenza afune ukukhula...
Khuluma naye ngobuhlakani ngabantu abathandayo
Kuhle ukwazisa ingane yakho ngalokho okumkhathazayo, kodwa ingabe kuwumqondo omuhle ukumtshela lokho okucabangayo ngabantu abadala abamzungezile? Kusuka kogogo nomkhulu wakhe, isibonelo, abangabazali bethu… Ubudlelwano bezingane ezisacathula nogogo nomkhulu babo bubaluleke kakhulu futhi kufanele bubugcine ngempela. Singase sithi: “Kimi, kuyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa uyabathanda futhi bayakuthanda, futhi ngiyabona ukuthi banomusa kuwe! Umusa ofanayo uma abasekhweni lakho bekuphatha kabi. Akumele utshele umncane wakho ukuthi umamezala uchitha impilo yakho, noma kuyiqiniso. Akayena umkhulumeli olungile wokuxazulula amaphuzu akho… Njengomthetho ojwayelekile, akufanele neze ucele ingane ukuthi ithathe uhlangothi phakathi kwabantu ababili abadala ebathandayo. Uma ethatha uhlangothi, uzizwa enecala futhi kubuhlungu kakhulu kuye. Esinye isihloko esingavumelekile, abangani bakhe nezintombi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uneminyaka emingaki, “asibephuli” abangani bakhe ngoba nguye ozizwa ebuzwa futhi kumzwisa ubuhlungu. Uma ngempela ungavumelani nesimo sengqondo somunye wabangane bakhe, ungase uthi: “Yithina esicabanga kanjalo, umbono wethu, kodwa akuwona wodwa umbono, futhi ungawubona. kungenjalo. Okubalulekile wukuvikela ngaso sonke isikhathi izibopho eziqinile azenzayo nabanye abantu. Omunye umuntu obalulekile empilweni yengane encane, inkosikazi yakhe. Khona-ke futhi, ngisho noma ungamthandi, ungalibukeli phansi igunya lakhe emehlweni engane yakho. Uma ekhononda ngaye nangezindlela zakhe, uma ejeziswa njalo ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakhe ekilasini, angavele abeke umthwalo kuthisha: “Uyancela, uqine kakhulu, akawazi umsebenzi wakhe, akanawo umsebenzi. Psychology! Kunalokho, yehlisa isimo ngokusiza ingane yakho ukuba ixazulule inkinga yayo, umbonise ukuthi zikhona izixazululo, izindlela zokwenza, amakhambi. Lokhu akuvimbeli ukuhleka naye ngokunika uthisha isiteketiso esihlekisayo esizoba ikhodi phakathi kwakho naye. Umlayezo omuhle okufanele sidluliselwe kuwo ukuthi singenza umehluko ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Thula mayelana nobumfihlo bakho
Nakuba kuvamile ukuba umzali abuze ingane yakhe ukuthi iphumaphi futhi nobani ngoba inesibopho sayo, ukuxoxa akulona iqiniso. Impilo yothando kanye ne-fortiori impilo yocansi yabazali, izinkinga zabo zobudlelwano, azikhathazi neze izingane. Lokhu akusho ukuthi uma kwenzeka kuba nokungavumelani emshadweni, kufanele wenze sengathi konke kuhamba kahle. Akekho okhohliswayo lapho ukucindezeleka nokungakhululeki kufundwa ebusweni futhi kudlula ezimbotsheni zesikhumba… Ungasho enganeni: “Kuyiqiniso, sinenkinga mina noyihlo, inkinga yabantu abadala. Akuhlangene nawe futhi sifuna izixazululo zokuyixazulula. ” Isikhathi. Kule minyaka akasazi ukuthi enzeni ngokuthenjwa, kuyamsinda futhi kubuhlungu ngoba ubanjwe wukungqubuzana kokwethembeka. Umzali ngamunye kumelwe akhumbule ukuthi ingane ayinakuba isifuba, ukuthi umuntu akanakukhuluma nayo ukuze akhulule unembeza wayo, iveze ukudabuka noma intukuthelo yayo, ilulaze omunye umzali, ifune ukwamukelwa nguye, imkholise ukuthi ulungile futhi omunye ongalungile, cela ukuthi akusekele ... Ngokuvamile, kubalulekile ukuvikela ingane kunoma yini okungakanqunywanga, ukuyiphephisa ezinqubweni eziqhubekayo ngoba idinga iziqinisekiso nezilinganiso eziqinisekile. Uma nje abazali bakhe besazibuza ukuthi bazohlukana yini, inqobo nje uma bengabaza, bamgcina bodwa! Lapho isinqumo senziwe, lapho sesiwujuqu, yilapho kuphela lapho bemtshela khona iqiniso: “Umama nobaba abathandani ngokwanele ukuba baqhubeke behlala ndawonye.” Akushiwo ukuthi ubaba unenkosikazi noma umama isithandwa! Okukhathaza ingane ukwazi ukuthi izohlalaphi nokuthi izoqhubeka nokubabona bobabili abazali. Lo mugqa wokuzikhethela ngokuphelele usebenza komama nobaba abangabodwa. Ukugcina ingane yabo ngaphandle kwempilo yabo yezothando kumele kuhlale kuyinto eza kuqala kubo inqobo nje uma ubudlelwano budlula ngokushesha.
Isho kalula nje
Ngempela, ukubekezela kuyipharamitha ebalulekile, kodwa ukukhuluma ngokungagwegwesi kubaluleke ngokufanayo. Ukufika kwendoda empilweni kamama kunomthelela empilweni yakhe eseyingane. Izinto kufanele zikhulunywe kalula nje: “Ake ngikwethule M, sijabule kakhulu ukuba ndawonye.” M uzohlala nathi, sizokwenza lokhu nalokhu sindawonye ngezimpelasonto, siyethemba ukuthi nani nizojabula. “Akufanele ubuze umbono wakhe, kodwa ngokuphambene, mbeke phambi kwesimo sendaba, kuyilapho umqinisekisa: “Akukho okuzoshintsha, uyohlala umbona ubaba wakho. Yebo, ngiyaqonda, ukhathazekile futhi / noma uthukuthele, kodwa ngiyazi kuzoba ngcono. Umama noma ubaba akakwazi ukucela imvume enganeni yakhe yokuba nempilo yothando, ngoba lokho kungababeka esikhundleni somzali. Futhi uma ephikelela ekwazini ukuthi uphenyo lwakhe lukwenza ube namahloni yini, vele umtshele ukuthi: “Umbuzo wabantu abadala, sizoxoxa ngawo uma usukhulile.” »Ngokuphambene nalokho esikubona kakhulu namuhla ezikhangisweni ze-TV, sinelungelo lokungaphenduli imibuzo yezingane, abantu abadala yithi, hhayi bona!