Umlingani wakho uvumile uthando lwakhe kuwe. Uqinisekile ukuthi nisondelene futhi nifanele omunye nomunye. Kodwa-ke, ubudlelwano bubambekile esigabeni sokuqomisana nemihlangano. Indoda ayijahile ukuthatha isinyathelo esilandelayo futhi ayinikezi ukuhlala ndawonye. "Kungani engenzanga lutho?" uyazibuza. Sabelana ngezimpendulo ezingaba khona kulo mbuzo.
Uyesaba ukusondelana
“Sesineminyaka emibili sindawonye, siyathandana futhi siyathembana. Nokho umngane wami akafuni ukuhlala ndawonye, - uthi Arina. - Uma ngisikisela, uthi sisenakho konke okuzayo futhi kufanelekile ukwelula isikhathi sothando. Nginomuzwa wokuthi ngezikhathi ezithile kubalulekile ukuba abe yedwa futhi ubonakala esaba ukulahlekelwa inkululeko yakhe.
"Abanye besaba kakhulu ukuhlangana kangangokuba banokuncika - ukwesaba ukuncika kumuntu abanamathele kuye," kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMarina Myaus. "Lokhu kwesaba ukusondelana kuvela kusukela ebuntwaneni: ingane ishiywa yodwa futhi ivinjelwa ukuxhumana nomuntu oseduze kakhulu - umama." Omunye umuntu omdala akaveli eduze kwakhe, ingane ezoba nokuxhumana okumethembayo. Uma isigaba sokwakheka kokunamathiselwe singakapheli, kunzima kumuntu ukwakha ubudlelwano.
Akahlukananga nonina
“Sinobuhlobo obuseduze, futhi ngingathanda ngempela ukuba siqale umkhaya futhi sibe ndawonye ngempela,” kuvuma u-Olga. Kwesinye isikhathi ngicabanga ukuthi yingoba umama wakhe akangithandi, lokho kumthonya kakhulu.”
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJacques Lacan, oye wahlola inkinga yokungaphelele kokuhlukaniswa kukamama nengane, ngokuncokola wafanisa umama nengwenya yensikazi efuna ukuhudulela ingane yayo esikhulile ibuyele esibelethweni.
“Sikhuluma ngokulawula omama, abajwayele ukuvikeleka ngokweqile. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, indoda ingase ingahlali nomama wayo futhi ingagcini ngisho nokuxhumana naye, kuchaza uchwepheshe. "Kodwa-ke, lapho engazi lutho, akakaze ahlukane nomzali wakhe owayebusa futhi ekujuleni kwenhliziyo wesaba ukuthi uzolandela ezinyathelweni zakhe futhi uqale ukulawula zonke izinyathelo zakhe."
Ngisho noma ungamniki isizathu sokukusola ngalokhu, uveza isithombe sikanina kuwo wonke umuntu wesifazane osondelene naye. Futhi leli themba liyamethusa kakhulu.
Yini okulandelayo?
Isikhathi sothando semihlangano nomuntu onjalo singagcwaliswa ngokomzwelo ngendlela engavamile, okwenza kubonakale kowesifazane ukuthi ukuphila okulandelayo ndawonye kuzoba okufanayo. Kodwa-ke, umlingani ongakwazi ukuhlangana, kodwa nokho edinga imfudumalo nokunakwa, ubonisa ukushuba kwemizwa isikhathi esifushane kuphela. Futhi-ke, njengomthetho, unokwehla ngokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke, imihlangano kuphela evumelana naye, kodwa hhayi ukuphila ndawonye.
"Uma owesilisa enganikeli lutho futhi" indawo efile "iqala ebuhlotsheni, owesifazane uvame ukubizwa ngokuthi "umphumela we-casino". Ufuna ukubuyisela lesi simo ukuze indoda ibone ukubaluleka kwaso futhi yenze isiphakamiso osekukudala silindelwe, kuphawula isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. - Ubeka i-ultimatum: noma sizoba ndawonye, noma ngiyahamba. Umlingani angase, ngaphansi kwengcindezi yakhe, avume. Kodwa-ke, kufanele uqhube indoda esigabeni esilandelayo, ukuzalwa kwezingane, futhi ube nesibopho sobuhlobo angazange akhethe.
Kumfelandawonye owakhelwe phezu kokukhohlisa, ukunganeliseki nokudumazeka kuzokhula nakanjani.
Kuyafaneleka ukuvumelana kusengaphambili ngalokho okulindele ebudlelwaneni nokuthi umlingani ulwela ini. "Uma izinto eziningi zingakufanelanga kwasekuqaleni, kodwa ufuna ukunikeza inyunyana yakho ithuba, zinqumele inkathi ngemva kwalokho uphendule ngobuqotho umbuzo wokuthi ngabe izinhlelo zakho nezilindelo zakho zihambisana yini," kusikisela isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.
Uma ubudlelwano bungayi ndawo, kuyafaneleka yini ukuhlala kubo? Uzothola okufunayo kuphela ngezindleko zokukhohlisa, futhi esikhathini esizayo, ukuhlala ndawonye ngeke kulethe injabulo kunoma yiluphi uhlangothi. Umlingani ongakwazi ukwabelana ngamaphupho nezifiso zakho uzothatha indawo yomuntu ozimisele ngobuqotho ukwenza lokhu empilweni yakho.