Okuqukethwe
Ubuqili bale mishwana ukuthi akuzwakali buhlaza noma bucasula endlebeni yesifazane. Hhayi-ke, yini engalungile ngamagama athi "Kulungile, kungcono ngikwenze ngokwami" noma "Yiba yindoda!"? Bazilimaza indoda! Futhi kanjani - manje sizochaza.
Uma ususho kanye, yenza umzamo futhi ungaphinde ukusho. Ngoba abelaphi bomndeni bethu bafunde kumakhasimende abo ukuthi lawa amagama asabekayo ongawazwa kumlingani wakho.
1. "Kulungile, kungcono ngizenzele mina"
Ithiphu eliwusizo: Uma ucele indoda ukuba ikulungisele umpompi—noma umane uyicela ukuba ibize othile ozokulungisa umpompi—myeke azenzele yona.
“Ngisho noma umngane wakho womshado ekhohlwe ukwenza lokhu izikhathi ezimbalwa, kungenzeka ukuthi ufuna ngempela ukukusiza,” kusho u-Ann Crowley, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yomkhaya e-Austin. - Mvumele asindise ubuso, ungasho ukuthi: "Kulungile, kungcono ngikwenze ngokwami." Isisho esibi lesi. Endodeni, kusho ukuthi awucabangi ukuthi ikwazi ukwenza noma yini, futhi awuyidingi.
2. "Bengingaqagela..."
La mazwi alimazayo ngeke abe isisusa sokuthi enze okuthile, ngoba ufuna into engenakwenzeka.
Abesilisa abalungile ekufundeni phakathi kwemigqa futhi abazenzi izinto ezicatshangelwayo. Ngitshele kahle ukuthi ufunani kuye
URyan Howes, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sasePasadena uthi: “Abesifazane bazosindisa isikhathi esiningi nezinzwa uma nje bebekezelela iqiniso lokuthi amadoda awakwazi ukufunda phakathi kwemigqa futhi awaqambiseli izinto ezicatshangelwayo. “Abadalelwenga lokhu, futhi awukwazi ukubaqeqesha kabusha. Vele umtshele ngqo ukuthi ufunani kuye.
3. "Sidinga ukukhuluma"
Awekho amanye amagama akwazi ukufaka ukwethuka okungaka enhliziyweni yendoda njengale nkulumo engenangozi, uma uthi nhlá nje. Lesi yisibikezelo sengxoxo ebucayi, izikhalazo nokugxeka.
Uyazi ukuthi uzokwenzani? "Uzocabanga ukuthi uhlulekile futhi azame ukubaleka," kusho uMarcia Berger, umelaphi womndeni. “Kodwa lokhu kuphambene ncamashi nalokhu obufuna ukuhlala phansi ndawonye nixoxe.”
4. "Yiba yindoda!"
Ukuze kuzuze wena nezakhe, ungasebenzisi lawo mazwi. Lokhu kuwukuhlasela okungenangqondo kobuyena, kubuzwa ubudoda bakhe futhi ungowesizwe esikhulu sabavukuzi, abavikeli, abakhi nabaqambi.
5. “Zihlanze. Angisiye umama wakho!»
Dala ubuciko futhi uthole indlela ecashile yokumkholisa ukuthi abeke izinto endaweni yazo noma emgqonyeni. Ethi usamdinga unina, wena, ungazi, ungafinyelela iphuzu - ukumkhumbuza ukuthi wayemuhle kangakanani naye.
Ngezinye izikhathi, ngemva kokulalela zonke izindaba zabangane babo, umlingani wakho ufika esiphethweni sokuthi ungumyeni omuhle.
6. "Ingabe usuhamba nabangane bakho futhi?"
Ungakuboni kuwusongo emshadweni wakho, kusho uHowes. Yiqiniso, ngezinye izikhathi ukuya ebholeni nabafana kuwukukhuluma isiphuzo esihle, kodwa emadodeni amaningi, ukuhlangana nabangane kuyindlela yokuxoxa ngokulinganayo, ukushintshana ngemibono kanye nezimpawu zabo zobufana zamandla nesimo.
Amaqembu anjalo e-bachelor anamabhonasi nawe. Ngezinye izikhathi, ngemva kokulalela zonke izindaba zabangane babo, umlingani wakho ufika esiphethweni sokuthi ungumyeni omuhle. Futhi ukuxhumana okunjalo okucebile kwabesilisa kumenza akhumbule inkampani yakho.
8. "Ingabe ucabanga ukuthi muhle?"
Umbeka esimweni lapho ungakwazi ukunikeza impendulo efanele. Imvelo yamadoda injalo kangangokuthi bahlale bemaka intombazane ekhanga kakhulu. Mhlawumbe, kulokhu, useziqaphele yena. Futhi manje kufanele anqume ukuthi angahlanganisa kanjani izitatimende ezimbili eziyiqiniso ngokulinganayo - ukuthi intombazane yinhle nokuthi iyakuthanda, hhayi yona.
9. "Oh, yeka isisu!"
Udinga ukuqaphela ukuqaphela izinguquko ekubukeni kwakhe, njengoba amadoda engenawo umkhuba wokuzihlekisa, ngokungafani nathi. Akuyona yonke into edinga ukuvezwa, ngezinye izikhathi kulula ukuya esenzweni. Futhi lokhu kunjalo nje. Kuyoba usizo kakhulu uma kungenzeka nibe sepaki ndawonye ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezizayo futhi nichithe amahora ambalwa lapho, futhi ngezimpelasonto nithola amabhayisikili futhi nihambe nihambe.