Okuqukethwe
Izinga lempilo yakho yocansi lisho okuningi mayelana nobudlelwano. Ukunganeliseki ngokobulili komunye wabangane bomshado kungadala izingxabano ezijulile ezibhidliza umshado. Ochwepheshe bezocansi bayeluleka ukuba banake uhlu lwama-alamu ayisikhombisa.
1. Ukuntula ucansi
Abukho ubudlelwano obuseduze ebudlelwaneni uma umbhangqwana uthandana kancane izikhathi eziyishumi ngonyaka. Emibhangqwaneni eminingi, ukuntuleka kocansi kwenza abalingani bahlukane.
Isazi sezocansi uSari Cooper sigcizelela ukuthi abalingani baba abantu abangabazi ezingeni elijule kakhulu. Ngokuvamile abagwemi ubulili kuphela, kodwa futhi nengxoxo yenkinga, okwandisa umuzwa wesizungu nokuzihlukanisa. Lapho abashadile beza ereception, uchwepheshe usiza ukukhomba inkinga ngaphandle kokusola noma ubani ikakhulukazi. Umlingani ohlushwa ukuntuleka kocansi udinga ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala futhi abelane ngokuthi ukukhumbula kanjani ukusondelana nomuntu amthandayo. Amaqhinga anjalo angcono kunokuthukana nokusolana.
2. Ukungaqiniseki mayelana nokukhanga
Owesifazane udinga ukuzizwa efunwa futhi ekhangayo, lokhu kuyisici esibalulekile sokuvusa inkanuko. UMartha Mina, umcwaningi wezocansi, uthi, "Kumuntu wesifazane, ukufisa kufana nokuba ne-orgasm."
Isazi sobulili uLaura Watson sithi uma owesilisa engakwazi ukukholisa owesifazane ngokukhanga kwakhe, ukuphila okuseduze kuyanyamalala ngokwemvelo. Ukuze uxazulule inkinga, udinga ukuthola futhi uxoxe ngalokho omunye nomunye akulindele. Lapho nikhuluma kangcono, ubulili buyoba ngcono.
3. Ulahlekelwe ukwethenjwa
Ukubuyisela impilo yakho yobulili ngemva kokungathembeki akulula. USari Cooper uthi umlingani ongathembekile kuzodingeka asebenze kanzima ukuze aphinde athembeke, futhi kubalulekile ukuthi umlingani wesibili aqonde ukuthi yini eholele ekukhapheni. Ngokuvamile imibhangqwana kufanele yakhe "inkontileka yocansi" entsha ukuze kuhlangatshezwane nezidingo ebezifihliwe ngaphambilini noma ezingahlangatshezwana nazo.
4. Ukuntula ukukhangwa ngokomzimba
Emibhangqwaneni ehlala ndawonye isikhathi eside, ukulahlekelwa ukukhanga ngokomzimba kungalimaza ubuhlobo, kusho uchwepheshe wezocansi uMushumi Gouz. Kwesinye isikhathi isizathu siwukuthi omunye wabashadile usezethule.
Yiqiniso, ukucindezeleka emsebenzini, ukukhathala kwemithwalo yemfanelo yomkhaya nezinye izinto akulona ize. Kodwa abantu abangasatholi abalingani babo bekhanga ngokomzimba bavame ukuthatha lokhu njengophawu lokuthi umlingani akazikhathaleli bona noma ubudlelwano babo.
5. Ukugula njengezaba
Imibhangqwana iyeka ukuya ocansini ngezizathu ezahlukahlukene ezihlobene ne-physiology nempilo: ukuphuma ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile, noma ubuhlungu ngesikhathi socansi kwabesifazane. Isazi sezocansi uCeleste Hirschman siyeluleki nje ukuthi sibonane nodokotela, kodwa futhi sihlaziye uhlangothi lomzwelo lwenkinga.
Umlingani odinga ucansi oluncane ulawula impilo yakhe yocansi
Uma uthethelela zonke izinkinga ngocansi noma ubudlelwano ngokujwayelekile ngezizathu zomzimba, kunesizathu sokucabanga. Ugxilisa ingqondo kwezempilo, ugwema ukuxoxa ngezidingo zocansi nezingokomzwelo. Imibhangqwana idinga ukubheka ngale kwezindaba ezithinta umzimba futhi inake ukwesaba okukhula eduze kwayo.
6. Awuzithathi kalula izifiso zocansi zomlingani wakho.
Abantu bathanda izinto ezahlukene. Lapho umlingani evula isifuba futhi evuma ukuthi ufuna ukuya ocansini olunzima noma ukudlala imidlalo yokulingisa, ungakunaki lokhu noma uhlekise ngezifiso zakhe.
Isazi sobulili u-Ava Cadell siyachaza: “Ngitshela amakhasimende ami ukuthi kungaxoxwa ngakho konke—ngisho nasekamelweni. Cela umlingani wakho abelane ngemicabango emithathu. Bese omunye ekhetha eyodwa yazo bese eyisebenzisa. Kusukela manje kuqhubeke, ungabelana ngamaphupho akho ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa noma ukwenqatshwa.”
7. Ukuziphatha okungafani
Imibhangqwana eminingi ihlushwa ukungezwani kwesimo socansi - lapho omunye wabashadikazi edinga ucansi kaningi kunomunye. Umlingani odinga ucansi oluncane uqala ukulawula impilo yocansi. Ngenxa yalokho, umngane womshado onomoya onamandla wobulili uyathukuthela futhi amelane.
Isazi sobulili uMegan Fleming sikholelwa ukuthi uma ungabhekani nenkinga yokungavumelani esimeni sobulili, ingozi yokudivosa noma ukungathembeki iyanda. Umlingani onomoya onamandla wocansi akafuni ukuqhubeka kanje impilo yakhe yonke. Engena emshadweni, akazange akhethe indlela yokuthobeka nokuzithiba.
Ungalindi isikhathi lapho umlingani efika ema nse. Nakekela inkinga ngokushesha. Izimbangela ze-libido ephansi ziyinkimbinkimbi futhi zihlobene, kodwa inkinga ingalungiswa.