Okuqukethwe
Abanye banenhlanhla ezimpilweni zabo, kanti abanye abajabulile. Yini ekwenza wenze amaphutha afanayo bese ukhetha ozakwethu abangalungile? Umbhali uPeg Streep uhlaziya izizathu zaleli phethini.
“Kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi ngishade nomama? Wayebonakala engumuntu ohlukile, kodwa wayefana ncamashi. Bengingaqapheli kanjani ukuthi ungiphatha ngendlela engiphatha ngayo? Ngiphoxekile nami,” bezibuza.
Wonke umuntu, kokubili labo abathandayo nalabo abangathandwa, udonseka kulabo abajwayele. Uma ukhulele emndenini lapho abazali bakho bekuthanda futhi besekela khona, lolu hlobo lokukhanga lungaba usizo. Ngokunokwenzeka, uzobona kalula abantu abathambekele ekulawuleni nasekukhohliseni, futhi uzokwazi ukuthola umlingani ofuna into efanayo nawe: ubudlelwano obuseduze, ukuxhumana okuvulekile, ukusondelana nokwesekana. Ngeshwa, lokhu akunjalo kwabesifazane abathintekayo abakhathazekile abanezidingo zabo ezingokomzwelo ezingahlangatshezwanga ebuntwaneni. Bakhiqiza izimo ezijwayelekile ebudlelwaneni babo bothando. Nazi izizathu ezinhlanu zokuthi kungani lokhu kuvame ukwenzeka:
1. Badonseka kumuntu ongalubonisi uthando lwakhe.
Umgomo wendodakazi uwukuzuza uthando lukanina. Ngenxa yalokhu, uyaqiniseka ukuthi uthando alunikezwa kanjalo nje, kufanele luzuzwe. Lapho ehlangana nendoda eziphatha ngendlela ehlukile (ngezinye izikhathi ebonisa ukufudumala, bese kubanda), lokhu kuyamethusa, kodwa ukuziphatha kwakhe kubonakala kujwayelekile.
Abesifazane abangakathandwa babonakala becabanga ukuthi impumelelo othandweni ngandlela-thile "ifanele"
Ngokungafani nomuntu owazi ukuthi uthando lweqiniso luyini, kuyena ukuziphatha okunjalo akukona ukuphaphama. Yiqiniso, ukugodola kwakhe kuyamcasula futhi kuyamthukuthelisa, kodwa kumshukumisela ukuba ayiphindaphinde imizamo yakhe, ezama ukubuyisela umusa wakhe.
2. Bathanda ukubekezela
Ngenxa yokuthi abazi ukuthi uthando lubukeka kanjani futhi luzizwa kanjani, kubo kubonakala sengathi impumelelo othandweni "iwukuzuza." Ngakho, ukubuyisana ngemva kwengxabano kuletha ukwaneliseka futhi kusenza siqiniseke ukuthi uyathandwa.
3. Ukungazinzi Kubonakala Kungokothando
Abesifazane, ikakhulukazi abesifazane abakhathazekile nabona ngokwabo abangazinzi kakhulu ngokomzwelo, bavame ukudida ukungazinzi kobudlelwano nenkanuko yobudlova. Ukuguquguquka njalo kwemizwelo evela enjabulweni enesivunguvungu, lapho indoda iphinda imthanda, ukuphelelwa ithemba, lapho isizohamba, kokubili kuyathakazelisa futhi kuqeda amandla. Yiqiniso, uthando lubukeka luhlukile, kodwa akazi ngakho. Lokhu kuchaza ukuthi kungani abesifazane abanjalo bevame ukukhangwa amadoda anezici ze-narcissistic.
4. Bathola izaba zokungaphathwa kahle.
Abesifazane abangazange bathathwe ngokungathi sína ebuntwaneni, benganakwa futhi begxeka njalo (futhi konke lokhu kuwela esigabeni sokuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi), bayeke ukuphendula ezinhlotsheni ezithile zokukhwabanisa nokuhlukunyezwa. Ngenxa yalokhu, abaqondi ukuthi ukuthukwa noma ukulawula okuncane okuvela kumlingani kubhubhisa ukusondelana.
Kwabesifazane abancishwe uthando lwabazali, kubalulekile ngokufanayo ukuthandwa hhayi ukulahlwa.
Bawela kalula ogibeni lokuzigxeka futhi baqale ukucabanga ukuthi bona bavuse indoda ekuziphatheni okunjalo.
5. Abayeki ukuthemba nokulinda isiphetho esihle.
Kubaluleke ngokufanayo ukuthi abantu besifazane bathandwe futhi bangashiywa noma banqatshwe, ngakho noma isiphi inhlonipho noma isenzo esihle somlingani ngokuvamile sibonakala sibaluleke kakhulu kubo, ngisho noma umlingani eziphatha ngokungafanele kaningi.
Izikhathi ezingavamile ezijabulisayo ziyamkhuthaza futhi zimenza azicabange njengoCinderella, owahlangana nenkosana yakhe. Njengoba engazi ukuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo obugcwele bakhiwa kanjani, cishe uzogcina esezehlisela phansi kakhulu kunalokho akuphuphayo futhi okumfanele. Ukuze wenze izinqumo ezihlakaniphile, udinga ukubona futhi welaphe ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni okubangelwa ukuntuleka kothando lwabazali.