Ingabe uthukuthele, ukhungathekile noma ucasukile? Noma mhlawumbe udangele kakhulu, udumele? Uma ukuthola kunzima ukulungisa imizwa yakho, futhi akunakwenzeka ngokuphelele ukuqeda imicabango edabukisayo, bheka uhlu lwemizwa bese ukhetha leyo ehambisana nesimo sakho. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Guy Winch sichaza ukuthi isilulumagama esikhulu singasiza kanjani ukunqoba ukuthambekela kokucabanga okungalungile.
Cabanga ukuthi ngikubambe ucabanga ngento ekucasulayo noma ekukhathaze kakhulu futhi ngikubuze ukuthi uzizwa kanjani njengamanje. Ungawuphendula kanjani lo mbuzo? Mingaki imizwa ongayisho - eyodwa, emibili, noma mhlawumbe eminingana? Wonke umuntu ucabanga futhi aveze okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe ngokomzwelo ngendlela ehlukile.
Abanye bayomane bathi badabukile. Abanye bangase baqaphele ukuthi ngesikhathi esifanayo badabukile futhi badumele. Futhi abanye bayakwazi ukusho okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ngendlela enemininingwane eyengeziwe. Bayobika ukudabuka, ukudumala, ukukhathazeka, umona, kanye nanoma yimiphi eminye imizwa ebonakala ngokucacile abayizwa ngaleso sikhathi.
Leli khono lokubona ngobuqili kanye nemininingwane yemizwa yakho libaluleke kakhulu. Ucwaningo lwakamuva lubonise ukuthi leli khono alithinti kuphela indlela esicabanga ngayo ngemizwa yethu, kodwa nendlela esiyiphatha ngayo. Kulabo abathanda ukucabanga ngokungapheli mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu futhi bapheqa izimo ezingemnandi emakhanda abo, ikhono lokuhlukanisa phakathi kwemizwa lingabalulekile.
Eqinisweni, sonke sikwenza lokhu ngezikhathi ezithile - silenga isikhathi eside phezu kwezinkinga ezisicindezelayo futhi ezisicasulayo, futhi asikwazi ukuyeka, ukubuyisela kanye nokubuyisela ukuthukwa okuphindiwe noma ukwehluleka kochwepheshe. Kodwa abanye bavame ukukwenza kaningi kunabanye.
Ngakho-ke, ingqondo ehlala njalo "i-chewing gum" (i-rumination) inemiphumela eminingi emibi yezempilo (phakathi kwabo - ukuphazamiseka kokudla, ingozi yokuphuza ngokweqile, ukusabela komzimba ekucindezelekeni okubangela izifo zenhliziyo, njll), kuhlanganise nengqondo . Ukukhukhumala kuyisici esiyingozi kakhulu sokucindezeleka.
I-Rumination yenza i-prefrontal cortex isebenze, enesibopho sokulawula imizwa engemihle. Futhi uma umuntu ehlala ekubanjweni kwemicabango emibi isikhathi eside, usekude kakhulu nokucindezeleka.
Kubonakala sengathi sibanjwe yindilinga enonya: ukugxila ezenzakalweni ezisiphazamisayo kwandisa ukucabanga okungalungile futhi kunciphisa amandla okuxazulula izinkinga. Futhi lokhu, futhi, kuholela ekwandeni kwemicabango ecindezelayo futhi kunikeza "ukudla" okwengeziwe "kokuhlafuna".
Abantu abanekhono lokuqaphela imizwa yabo cishe babona umehluko kanye nazo zonke izinguquko ezicashile ezenzeka emizweni yabo. Isibonelo, i-melancholic emane ikhulume ngokudabuka kwayo iyohlala ijulile ekucabangeni okudangele kuze kube yilapho iqeda umjikelezo ogcwele wokuhuquza.
Kodwa umuntu okwaziyo ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokudabuka, ukukhungatheka, nokungabekezelelani kuye ngokwakhe angase aphawule nokuthi ukwaziswa okusha kungase kungakudambisi ukudabuka kwakhe, kodwa kumsize ukuba azizwe engabekezeleli futhi edumazekile. Ngokuvamile, isimo sakhe sengqondo sathuthuka kancane.
Iningi lethu alilungile ekuboneni nasekuhleleni imizwa yethu.
Ucwaningo luqinisekisa ukuthi abantu abaqaphela imizwa yabo bangakwazi kangcono ukuyilawula okwamanje, futhi ngokuvamile, baphatha imizwa yabo ngempumelelo futhi banciphise ukushuba kokungabi nandaba.
Muva nje, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziye zathuthuka nakakhulu ocwaningweni lwazo lwalolu daba. Babheka lezi zihloko izinyanga eziyisithupha futhi bathola ukuthi abantu ababejwayele ukuzulazula imicabango emibi, kodwa abangakwazi ukuhlukanisa imizwelo yabo, bahlala bedabukile futhi becindezelekile ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha kunalabo abachaza kabanzi okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo.
Isiphetho sososayensi sinanela lokho okushiwo ngenhla: Ukwehlukanisa imizwa kusiza ukuyilawula nokuyinqoba, okuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuthinte ngokuphawulekayo impilo yonke engokomzwelo neyengqondo. Iqiniso liwukuthi iningi lethu alilungile ekuboneni nasekuhleleni imizwa yethu. Ukukubeka ngokusobala, amagama ethu angokomzwelo avame ukuba mpofu kakhulu.
Sivame ukucabanga ngemizwa yethu ngamagama ayisisekelo—intukuthelo, injabulo, ukumangala—uma sicabanga ngayo nhlobo. Ukusebenza namaklayenti njenge-psychotherapist, ngivame ukuwabuza ukuthi bazizwa kanjani okwamanje kuseshini. Futhi ngibamba ukubukeka okungenalutho noma okukhathazekile ekuphenduleni, okufana nalokhu ongakubona kumfundi ongakulungele ukuhlolwa.
Ngokuzayo lapho uzithola udlala kabusha imicabango ecindezelayo, bheka uhlu bese ubhala phansi imizwa ocabanga ukuthi ubhekene nayo ngaleso sikhathi. Kutuswa ukuba uwahlephule abe amakholomu amabili: kwesokunxele, bhala phansi lawo obhekana nakho kakhulu, futhi kwesokudla, lawo angaphimiseli kancane.
Ungasheshi. Hlala kumzwelo ngamunye ngokwehlukana, zilalele bese uphendula ukuthi ingabe uyayizwa ngempela yini manje. Futhi ungathuswa ubunzima obukhona - ukukhetha ohlwini lwamagama oselulungile oluhambisana nomuzwa wakho njengamanje kulula kakhulu kunokuzama ukunquma imizwa yakho lapho umelaphi ekubuka phakathi neseshini.
Kakade ukusebenza kokuqala kwalo msebenzi kuzobonisa ukuthi isipiliyoni sakho sezinzwa sicebe kakhulu kunalokho ongakucabanga. Ngokwenza lo msebenzi izikhathi eziningana, uzokwazi ukucebisa ulwazimagama lwakho oluthinta imizwa futhi uthuthukise ukuhlukana okukhulu kwemizwelo.
Mayelana Nochwepheshe: UGuy Winch ungudokotela wezengqondo, umelaphi womndeni, ilungu le-American Psychological Association, nombhali wezincwadi eziningi, okuhlanganisa ne-Psychological First Aid (Medley, 2014).