Indlela yokuthulisa i-troll yakho yangaphakathi

Lo mngane ongabaziyo wazinza emakhanda ethu. Usenza sikholelwe ukuthi wenzela ukuzuzisa kwethu, umgomo wakhe awumemezelayo uwukusivikela ebunzimeni. Eqinisweni, isisusa sakhe asisihle neze: ulangazelela ukusenza singajabuli, sibe namahloni, sibe lusizi, sibe nesizungu.

“I-troll ayilona uvalo lwakho noma imicabango engemihle, ungumthombo wayo. Usebenzisa isipiliyoni esibuhlungu sesikhathi esidlule futhi akugcone, akukhumbuze lokho okwesaba kakhulu, futhi enze ifilimu ethusayo ngekusasa elizungeza ekhanda lakho,” kusho uRick Carson, umbhali othengisa kakhulu we-Troll Tamer. Kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi i-troll ibonakale empilweni yethu?

Ubani i-troll?

Kusukela ekuseni kuze kube kusihlwa, usitshela indlela esibukeka ngayo emehlweni abanye, echaza zonke izinyathelo zethu ngendlela yakhe. Ama-troll athatha imibono ehlukene, kodwa wonke anento eyodwa afana ngayo: asebenzisa esiye sabhekana naso ukuze asilulise ukuze sibeke izimpilo zethu zonke ekuzibekeleni umkhawulo futhi ngezinye izikhathi ezivamile ezesabekayo mayelana nokuthi singobani nokuthi kufanele kube kanjani ukuphila kwethu.

Okuwukuphela komsebenzi we-troll ukusiphazamisa enjabulweni yangaphakathi, evela kithi yeqiniso - izibukeli ezolile, engqikithini yethu. Kakade, thina esiqotho ‘siwumthombo wokwaneliseka okujulile, oqongelela ukuhlakanipha futhi silahla amanga ngokungenasihe. Uyayizwa yini imiyalo yakhe? “Kunezinto ezibalulekile okufanele uzenze. Ngakho banakekele!”, “Uyakhumbula ukuthi amathemba aphezulu aphela kanjani? Yebo, ukudumala! Hlala phansi unganyakazi mntanami!

“Angikhululeki uma ngizama ukukhululeka, kodwa uma ngibona nje ukuthi ngizifaka ejele,” uqinisekile uRick Carson. Ukuqaphela ukunyakaziswa kwangaphakathi kuyingxenye yekhambi. Yini enye engenziwa ukuqeda le ecatshangelwayo «umsizi» futhi ekugcineni uphefumule ngokukhululeka?

Izintandokazi ze-Troll Myths

Ngokuvamile izingoma eziculwa yizinqola zethu zifiphaza ingqondo. Nazi ezinye zezinto zabo ezivamile.

• Ubuso bakho bangempela buyanengeka.
• Ukudabuka kuwukubonakaliswa kobuthakathaka, ubungane, ukungavikeleki, ukuncika.
• Ukuhlupheka kuhle.
• Ukushesha kungcono.
• Amantombazane amahle awaluthandi ucansi.
• Yintsha engalawuleki kuphela ebonisa intukuthelo.
• Uma ungayazi/uveza imizwa, izophela yodwa.
• Ukuveza injabulo engabonakali emsebenzini kuwubuwula futhi akuwona umsebenzi.
• Uma ungabhekani nebhizinisi elingaqediwe, yonke into izoxazululwa ngokwayo.
• Abesilisa bangcono kakhulu ekuholeni kunabesifazane.
• Icala lihlanza umphefumulo.
• Ukulindela ubuhlungu kuyabunciphisa.
• Ngelinye ilanga uyokwazi ukubona kusengaphambili konke.
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Umbhali wendlela yokulawula ama-troll ushiya imigqa embalwa engenalutho ukuze singene okuthile kwethu - lokho umxoxi wezindaba we-troll asihlebela kona. Lesi isinyathelo sokuqala sokuqala ukuqaphela amaqhinga akhe.

Inkululeko ekunyatheleni: qaphela futhi uphefumule

Ukuze ulawule i-troll yakho, udinga ukuthatha izinyathelo ezintathu ezilula: qaphela nje ukuthi kwenzekani, khetha, dlala ongakhetha kukho, bese wenza!

Ungazihluphi ngombuzo wokuthi kungani konke kwenzeke ngendlela okwenzeka ngayo. Akusizi futhi akwakhi. Mhlawumbe impendulo ngokwayo izotholakala ngemva kokuhlola isimo ngokuthula. Ukuze ulawule i-troll, kubalulekile ukumane uqaphele ukuthi kwenzekani kuwe, futhi ungacabangi ukuthi kungani uzizwa ngendlela ozizwa ngayo.

Ukubuka ngokuzola kuphumelela kakhulu kunochungechunge lweziphetho. Ukwazi, njengokukhanya okukhanyayo, kuhlwitha isipho sakho ebumnyameni. Ungayiqondisa emzimbeni wakho, emhlabeni okuzungezile, noma emhlabeni wengqondo. Qaphela ukuthi kwenzekani kuwe, emzimbeni wakho, lapha futhi manje.

Ukulawula ukukhanya kokusesha, sizokwazi ukuzwa ukugcwala kokuphila: imicabango nemizwa izoyeka ukuntweza ngokungahleliwe ekhanda, futhi sizobona ngokucacile okwenzekayo nxazonke. I-troll izoyeka ngokuzumayo ukuhlebeza ukuthi yenzeni, futhi sizoyeka ukucabanga kwethu. Kodwa qaphela: i-troll izokwenza konke ukwenza ukholwe futhi ukuthi impilo iyinto enzima kakhulu.

Ngezinye izikhathi lapho kuhlasela i-troll, umoya wethu uyalahleka. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuphefumula ngokujulile nomoya ohlanzekile, uRick Carson uyaqiniseka. Isisu kufanele sizungeleze ngokwemvelo lapho uhogela futhi uhlehle lapho ukhipha umoya. Yilokhu okwenzekayo kulabo abakhululekile ku-troll. Kodwa kwabaningi bethu abagqoka i-troll yethu ngemuva kwentamo noma emzimbeni, kwenzeka okuphambene ncamashi: lapho sihogela, isisu siyadonswa futhi amaphaphu agcwaliswe ingxenye kuphela.

Phawula indlela ophefumula ngayo uwedwa lapho uhlangana nothandekayo noma othile ongamethembi. Zama ukuphefumula ngendlela efanele ezimweni ezahlukene, futhi uzoluzwa ushintsho.

Ingabe unamahloni ukwamukela izincomo? Dlala ezinye izindlela zokuziphatha. Ngokuzayo lapho othile ethi ujabulile ukuhlangana nawe, donsa umoya futhi ujabulele leso sikhathi. Zikhohlise. Hlukanisa impilo yakho ngomdlalo.

Yethula imizwa yakho

Kukangaki uzivumela ukuba ubonise injabulo, intukuthelo, noma ukudabuka? Zonke zihlala emizimbeni yethu. Injabulo yangempela engalawuleki iwumuzwa okhanyayo, omuhle futhi othathelwanayo. Lapho uqala ukusuka ku-troll yakho, uzojabula kakhulu. Imizwa kufanele ivezwe ngobuqotho nangokujulile, i-psychotherapist ikholelwa.

“Intukuthelo ayiyona into embi ngokwemvelo, ukudabuka akusho ukucindezeleka, isifiso sobulili asizalanisi ukuziphatha okuxekethile, injabulo ayifani nokungabi nasibopho noma ubuwula, futhi ukwesaba akufani nobugwala. Imizwa iba yingozi kuphela uma siyivalela noma siqhuma ngokuxhamazela, singahloniphi ezinye izinto eziphilayo. Ngokunaka imizwa, uzobona ukuthi akukho lutho oluyingozi kubo. I-troll kuphela eyesaba imizwelo: uyazi ukuthi uma ubanikeza amandla, uzizwa unamandla amakhulu, futhi lokhu kuyisihluthulelo sokujabulela ngokugcwele isipho sokuphila.

Imizwa ayikwazi ukuvaleleka, ifihlwe - noma kunjalo, kungekudala izokhasa emzimbeni noma ngaphandle - ngendlela yokuqhuma okungalindelekile kwakho nalabo abaseduze nawe. Ngakho mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokuzama ukuyeka imizwa ngokuthanda kwakho?

Uma ujwayele ukufihla intukuthelo yakho phakathi nempi, bheka ukwesaba kwakho ngqo futhi uzibuze: Yini embi kakhulu ezokwenzeka? Zama ukwethembeka mayelana nolwazi lwakho. Isho into efana nalena:

• “Kunento engifuna ukukutshela yona, kodwa nginovalo lokuthi uzovele uthukuthele. Ungathanda ukungilalela?"
• “Ngikuthukuthelele kakhulu, kodwa ngiyabuhlonipha futhi ngiyabazisa ubuhlobo bethu.”
• “Ngiyangabaza ukukhuluma nawe ngesihloko esisodwa esibucayi… Kodwa ngizizwa ngingakhululekile futhi ngithanda ukucacisa isimo. Ingabe usukulungele ingxoxo engagwegwesi?
• “Kuzoba yingxoxo enzima: Angikwazi ukukhuluma kahle, futhi ujwayele ukuhleka usulu. Asizame ukuphathana ngenhlonipho."

Noma thatha ukwesaba kwethu. I-troll ijabule kakhulu ukuthi uphila ngokusekelwe ekuqageleni. Umhlaba wengqondo uyikhambi. Zama ukwenza kahle imicabango yakho — lokhu kuzokukhipha ephusheni eliyinhlekelele kube ngokoqobo. Isibonelo, ucabanga ukuthi umphathi wakho uzowenqaba umbono wakho. Oh, i-troll isikhona futhi, ingabe ubonile?

Bese uthatha iphepha bese ubhala:

Uma ngi ____________________ (isenzo #1 owesaba ukusithatha), ngicabanga ukuthi ngingu __________________________ (umphumela #1).

Uma ngi ___________________________________ (ngifaka impendulo evela kumhlobiso #1), bese ngiqagela ______________________________________ (isiqephu #2).

Uma ngi ___________________________________ (ngifaka impendulo evela kumhlobiso #2), bese ngiqagela ________________________________________ (isiqephu #3).

Njalo njalo.

Ungenza lo msebenzi izikhathi eziningi ngokuthanda kwakho futhi ungene ekujuleni esikucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka. Ejika lesithathu noma lesine, ngokuqinisekile sizoqala ukuqaphela ukuthi ukwesaba kwethu akunangqondo nokuthi ezingeni elijulile sijwayele ukubeka izenzo zethu ngaphansi kokwesaba ubuhlungu, ukwenqatshwa, noma ngisho nokufa. Sizobona ukuthi i-troll yethu iyi-manipulator enkulu, futhi lapho sihlola ngokucophelela isimo, sizothola ukuthi ayikho imiphumela yangempela kithi kuyo.

Mayelana Nombhali: U-Rick Carson ungumsunguli we-Troll Taming Method, umbhali wezincwadi, umsunguli kanye nomqondisi we-Troll Taming Institute, umqeqeshi womuntu siqu kanye nomfundisi wochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo, futhi ilungu kanye nomqaphi osemthethweni we-American Association for Marriage and Family. Ukwelapha.