Okuqukethwe
Yini Owesifazane Angakwazi...
Esinye sezibonakaliso zesikhathi sethu sekuyisikhathi eside kube yi-feminization, okungukuthi, ukubusa kwabesifazane kuzo zonke izindawo ezilolonga ubuntu, kanye nemiphumela ehambisanayo yalokhu.
Owesifazane, yiqiniso, angakwazi ukufundisa ukuzimisela, ubuqotho, inhloso, izikhulu, ukuphana, ukwethembeka, isibindi kubafana namantombazane, angakwazi ukuthuthukisa izimfanelo ezidingekayo kumholi wesikhathi esizayo, umhleli ...
Owesifazane uvame ukubhekana nesidingo esinjalo - ukukwazi ukwenza ngaphandle kwendoda, ngakho-ke kufanele amthathe esikhundleni sakhe! Kuningi umuntu wesifazane angakwenza! Ingadlula ngisho owesilisa ngezimfanelo zobudoda kuphela (“ukuzimisela kowesilisa”, “ukuqondisa kwabesilisa”, “ukuphana kwabesilisa”, njll.), ingaba nesibindi kakhulu kunamadoda amaningi…
Ngikhumbula ukuthi inhloko yomnyango omkhulu wezobuchwepheshe wesinye isitshalo "yasihlabathi" abangaphansi kwayo: "Amadoda angaphezu kwekhulu emnyangweni, futhi indoda yangempela iyodwa, futhi nangaleso sikhathi ..." Waqamba igama lowesifazane!
Into eyodwa owesifazane angeke akwazi ukuyenza ukuba yindoda. Masingaqiniseki, singabi nesibindi kakhulu, hhayi uNkulunkulu owaziyo ukuthi muhle futhi mkhulu kangakanani njengoba umuntu engathanda, kodwa abe ngumuntu nje, nakuba enamaphutha amaningi ...
Khonamanjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unina ufanelwe yinhlonipho engakanani endodaneni yakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ijabula kanjani ngokuthi ifana naye, iyakwazi ukuziveza endodeni kuphela.
Bheka izingane zasenkulisa. Akekho otshela umfana: kufanele ulingise amadoda noma abafana abadala. Yena ngokwakhe ukhetha ngokungangabazi ukuthinta nokunyakaza okungokwemvelo emadodeni. Muva nje, umntwana wajikijela ibhola noma amatshana ngokungakwazi ukusiza, enyakaza esuka ndawana thize ngemva kwendlebe yakhe, njengazo zonke izingane. Kodwa ekupheleni kwehlobo elichithwe ekukhulumisaneni nomuntu omdala, yena lo mfana, ngaphambi kokujikijela itshe, induku, wenza ukushwibeka nje kobudoda, ehambisa isandla sakhe eceleni futhi egoba umzimba wakhe ngakuwo. Futhi intombazane, ubudala bayo kanye nentombi yayo, isanyakaza ngemuva kwekhanda layo ... Kungani?
Kungani u-Oleg omncane ekopisha ukuthinta kukamkhulu wakhe hhayi ugogo wakhe? Kungani u-Boris omncane ecasuka lapho ezwa isikhalo sobungane ngokuphelele esivela kuntanga akanye naye ongafuni ukujwayelana naye: “Heyi, uyephi?” Ngemuva kwalokhu "inhlamba", u-Boris wenqaba ngokuphelele ukugqoka ijazi elinesigqoko esine-velvet, futhi wehlisa umoya lapho i-hood iklebhukile, esikhundleni sayo ngekhola ye-nondescript kanye ne-beret "yendoda".
Yiqiniso, emashumini eminyaka amuva nje, uhlobo lwezingubo lucishe lulahlekelwe izimfanelo zobulili obuthile, buba "bungenabulili". Kodwa-ke, amadoda esikhathi esizayo awafuni isiketi, hhayi ingubo, kodwa "amabhulukwe athungiwe", "ama-jeans anezikhwama". . . Futhi njengakuqala, bavame ukucasuka uma benza iphutha ngamantombazane. Okusho ukuthi, indlela yokuhlonza abantu bobulili obufanayo iyaqalwa.
Amatshwele ezinyoni eziculayo adinga ukuzwa ukucula komuntu wakubo omdala ngesikhathi esithile sobudala bawo, ngaphandle kwalokho awasoze afunda ukucula.
Umfana udinga ukuxhumana nendoda - ngezikhathi ezahlukene zeminyaka, futhi kangcono - njalo. Futhi hhayi kuphela ukuhlonza ... Futhi hhayi kuphela umfana, kodwa nentombazane - futhi ...
Mayelana nokuxhumana "kwe-organic"
Sazi okuncane kakhulu ngalezo zinhlobo zokuncika kwemvelo komuntu oyedwa komunye, okungeke kuze kukalwe ngamathuluzi, akukwazi ukuqokwa ngamagama esayensi aziwayo. Futhi nokho lokhu kuncika kwezinto eziphilayo kuziveza ngokungaqondile ezimeni zesibhedlela se-neuropsychiatric.
Okokuqala, isidingo somzimba wengane sokuthintana ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo nomama sizibonakalisa, ukwephulwa okubangela izinhlobo ezihlukahlukene zokucindezeleka kwengqondo. Ingane iwumbungu womzimba kamama, futhi ngisho isihlukanisiwe nayo, iba nokuzimela ngokomzimba ngokwengeziwe, izobe isadinga ukufudumala kwalo mzimba, ukuthinta kukamama, ukuphululwa kwakhe isikhathi eside. Futhi konke ukuphila kwakhe, esevele esemdala, uzodinga uthando lwakhe. Okokuqala nje, ukuqhubekela phambili ngokomzimba okuqondile kwakho, futhi ngenxa yalesi sizathu kuphela ukuncika kwakhe ngokwengqondo kukho kungokwemvelo. (Lapho umama eshada «nomalume womunye umuntu», lokhu ngokuvamile kubhekwa njengokuhlasela komuntu wangaphandle mayelana nokuxhumana okubaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwengane! njengobaba - konke lokhu kuzodala isimo sengqondo esibi kuye kuphela. Kudingeka ubuhlakani obukhethekile ukuze ingane ingazizwa iphucwa imfudumalo ebalulekile kamama nokunaka kwakhe.)
Ingane inokuxhumana okufanayo noyise - uma kwenzeka ngenxa yesizathu esithile iphoqeleka ukuba ithathe indawo kanina.
Kodwa ngokuvamile ubaba ubhekwa ngendlela ehlukile. Kakade njengabantu abadala, abafana namantombazane bangaphambili abakwazi ukubeka ngamazwi imizwa yabo yokuqala yokusondelana kwakhe. Kodwa okokuqala - ngokujwayelekile - lokhu umuzwa wamandla, othandekayo futhi oseduze, okumboza, ukuvikela, futhi, njengokungathi, ungena kuwe, uba ngowakho, unikeze umuzwa wokungabi namandla. Uma umama engumthombo wokuphila nokufudumala okunikeza ukuphila, khona-ke ubaba ungumthombo wamandla nesiphephelo, umngane wokuqala omdala ohlanganyela la mandla nomntwana, amandla ngomqondo obanzi wezwi. Isikhathi eside izingane azikwazi ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwamandla angokwenyama nangokwengqondo, kodwa zizwa kahle ekugcineni futhi zidonseleka kuwo. Futhi uma engekho ubaba, kodwa kukhona indoda eduze osephenduke isiphephelo futhi umngane omdala, umntwana akasweli.
Umdala - indoda yengane, kusukela ebuntwaneni kuya cishe ebusheni, kuyadingeka ukwakha umuzwa ojwayelekile wokulondeka kukho konke okuqukethe usongo: ebumnyameni, ekudumeni okungaqondakali, enjeni ethukuthele, "kubaphangi abangamashumi amane", "kumaqembu ezigebengu zasemkhathini", kumakhelwane uPetka, "kubantu esingabazi" ... "Ubaba wami (noma" umfowethu omdala ", noma" umalume wethu uSasha ”) ka-ak nika! Unamandla kunabo bonke!»
Lezo zeziguli zethu ezikhule zingenayise futhi zingenaye umdala - amadoda, zitshele (ngamagama ahlukene nangezinkulumo ezihlukene) ngomzwelo abanye ababewubiza ngokuthi umona, abanye - ukulangazelela, kanti abanye - ukuswela, kanti othile akazange awubize. nganoma iyiphi indlela, kodwa utshelwe okuningi noma okuncane kanje:
— Lapho uGenka ephinda eqhosha emhlanganweni: “Kodwa ubaba wangilethela amaswidi futhi uzothenga esinye isibhamu!” Ngaphenduka ngahamba, noma ngixabene. Ngikhumbula ngingathandi ukubona uGenka eduze kukayise. Futhi kamuva akabange esafuna ukuya ekhaya kulabo abanobaba. Kodwa sasinomkhulu ongumalusi u-Andrei, wayehlala yedwa emaphethelweni edolobhana. Ngangivame ukuya kuye, kodwa ngedwa kuphela, ngaphandle kwabantwana ...
Izingane eziningi zalabo ababengenaye umdala wesilisa oseduze, eminyakeni yabo yobusha, bathola ameva abukhali okuthambekela okuyihaba kokuzivikela ngaphandle kwesidingo sakho. Ukubaluleka okubuhlungu kokuvikelwa kwatholakala kubo bonke labo abangazange bakuthole ngesikhathi esifanele besebancane.
Futhi osemusha naye udinga ubaba njengomngane omdala. Kodwa akusesona isiphephelo, kodwa kunalokho isiphephelo, umthombo wokuzihlonipha.
Kuze kube manje, imibono yethu mayelana nomsebenzi wabadala - amadoda empilweni yentsha ayilungile ngokucindezelayo, asendulo, abuhlungu: "Sidinga isixwayiso ...", "Nikeza ibhande, kodwa akekho ...", "Oooh , ubuntandane bulahliwe, awukho kwalasha kuwe, ungesabi lutho, bakhula ngaphandle kwamadoda ... ”Kuze kube manje, sisusa inhlonipho ngokwesaba!
Ukwesaba ngezinga elithile—okwamanje—kunganqanda imizwa ethile. Kodwa akukho okuhle okungakhula ngokwesaba! Inhlonipho iwukuphela kwendawo evundile, isimo esidingekayo sethonya elihle lomdala komusha, umqhubi wamandla akhe. Futhi le nhlonipho ingabizwa ngokuthi, ifanelwe, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukucela, akusizi ukufuna, ukwenza kube ngumsebenzi. Nawe awukwazi ukuphoqa inhlonipho. Udlame luqeda inhlonipho. Ubugqila bekamu elithi «sixs» alibalwa. Sifuna izingane zethu zibe nomuzwa ojwayelekile wesithunzi sobuntu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi umuntu, ngesikhundla sakhe njengomdala, unesibopho sokubheka kaningi esibukweni esingokwengqondo nesokuziphatha: ingabe izingane zizokwazi ukumhlonipha? Bazothathani kuye? Ingabe indodana yakhe yayingafuna ukufana naye?
Izingane zilindile...
Kwesinye isikhathi sibona esikrinini amehlo ezingane ezilindile: zilindele ukuthi kufike othile azozingenisa, zilinde othile ozozibiza… Akuzona izintandane kuphela ezilindile. Bheka ubuso bezingane kanye nentsha encane - kwezokuthutha, emigqeni, emgwaqweni nje. Kunobuso obuvele bugqame ngalolu phawu lokulindela. Lapha yavele yazihlalela yodwa, ngaphandle kwakho, igxile ezinkathazweni zayo. Futhi ngokuzumayo, izwa ukugqolozela kwakho, kubonakala sengathi ivuka, futhi kusukela phansi kwamehlo ayo kukhula umbuzo ongazi lutho "... Wena? Uwena?"
Mhlawumbe lo mbuzo wabaneka kanye emphefumulweni wakho. Mhlawumbe awukakayidedeli intambo ye-taut okulindelwe umngane omdala, uthisha... Umhlangano mawube mfushane, kodwa ubalulekile. Ukoma okungaqediwe, isidingo somngane osekhulile - cishe njengesilonda esivulekile impilo yonke ...
Kodwa ungavumeli umfutho wokuqala, ongavikelekile, Ungalokothi uthembise izingane zakho into ongeke ukwazi ukuyinika! Kunzima ukusho ngamafuphi ngomonakalo owenziwa umphefumulo wengane entekenteke uma ikhubeka ezithembisweni zethu eziwubuwula, kungasekho lutho ngemuva!
Ujahile ngebhizinisi lakho, okukhona phakathi kwalo isikhala esiningi esigcwele incwadi, umhlangano wobungani, ibhola lezinyawo, ukudoba, amabhiya ambalwa ... Udlula umfana okulandela ngamehlo ... Alien? Kubaluleke ngani ukuthi uyindodana kabani! Azikho ezinye izingane. Uma ephendukela kuwe - mphendule ngendlela enobungane, mnike okungenani okuncane ongakwenza, ukuthi akubizi lutho kuwe: sawubona sobungane, ukuthinta okumnene! Isixuku sicindezele ingane kuwe kwezokuthutha - mvikele, futhi uvumele amandla amahle angene kuye entendeni yesandla sakho!
"Mina ngokwami", isifiso sokuzimela siyinto eyodwa. “Ngiyakudinga, mngane omdala” kuhlukile. Ayivamile ukuthola inkulumo yomlomo kwabancane, kodwa kunjalo! Futhi akukho ukuphikisana phakathi kweyokuqala neyesibili. Umngane akaphazamisi, kodwa usiza lokhu "mina ngokwami" ...
Futhi lapho abancane befulathela futhi besishiya, bevikela ukuzimela kwabo, bephikisana ngokuzwakalayo ngokumelene nakho konke okuvela kithi, lokhu kusho ukuthi sithola izithelo zesimo sethu sengqondo sokungacabangi ngabo futhi, mhlawumbe, ukukhaphela kwethu. Uma umdala oseduze engafuni ukufunda ukuthi angaba kanjani umngane koncane, engafuni ukuqonda izidingo zakhe eziphuthumayo ezingokwengqondo, usevele uyamkhaphela ...
Kuyangiphatha kabi ukuthi angisemusha, sengingowesifazane, ohlale egajwe yizinkinga zabanye abantu. Nokho ngezinye izikhathi ngiyayekisa intsha. Kubantu ongabazi ekuphenduleni "sawubona" wami, ungaphinde uzwe lokhu: "Futhi sibingelela abantu esibaziyo kuphela!" Bese-ke, ngokuziqhenya efulathela noma ehamba: “Kodwa asibabingeleli abantu esingabazi!” Kodwa yona kanye le ntsha, njengoba isizwile okwesibili ukuthi “sawubona”, ikhombisa ilukuluku futhi ayijahi ukuhamba… Akuvamile ukuthi kube khona umuntu okhuluma nayo ngenhlonipho nangokulingana… babe nemicabango yabo ezicini eziningi zokuphila kwethu! Ngezinye izikhathi lezi zinsizwa ezizulazula endlini ngendlu zifana nezitsha ezingenalutho ezilindele ukugcwaliswa. Abanye abasakholwa ukuthi kukhona ozobashayela ucingo. Yebo, uma bebiza - kuphi?
Madoda, hambani kubantwana - kweyakho nabanye, kubantwana banoma yimuphi ubudala! Bakudinga ngempela!
Ngangazi omunye uthisha-wezibalo - Kapiton Mikhailovich Balashov, owasebenza kwaze kwaba sekugugeni. Endaweni ethile ekupheleni kweshumi lesishiyagalolunye, wayeka amakilasi esikole. Kodwa wathatha indima yokuba umkhulu enkulisa eseduze. Wayelungiselela umhlangano ngamunye, ephindaphinda, ehlose "ukuxoxa inganekwane", amkhethele izithombe. Kungabonakala sengathi umkhulu omdala - ubani okudingayo lokhu? Kudingeka!! Izingane zazimthanda kakhulu futhi zalinda: "Futhi uzofika nini umkhulu wethu?"
Izingane - ezincane nezinkulu - zikulindile ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Abanobaba abazalayo nabo balindile. Kunzima ukusho ukuthi ubani ompofu kakhulu: labo abangakaze bamazi uyise, noma lezo zingane ezadlula ngokunengeka, ukudelelwa kanye nenzondo ngoyise ...
Kudingeka kanjani ukuba omunye wenu madoda asize indoda enjalo. Ngakho… Mhlawumbe enye yazo isendaweni ethile eduzane. Hlala naye isikhashana. Vumela ukuthi uhlale uyinkumbulo, kodwa uyifake ngamandla alula, ngaphandle kwalokho ingase ingenzeki njengomuntu ...
Ividiyo evela ku-Yana Shchastya: ingxoxo noprofesa wezengqondo u-NI Kozlov
Izihloko zengxoxo: Hlobo luni lowesifazane okudingeka ube yilo ukuze ushade ngempumelelo? Amadoda ashada kangaki? Kungani kunamadoda avamile ambalwa kangaka? I-Childfree. Ukuba ngumzali. Luyini uthando? Indaba engeke ibe ngcono. Ukukhokhela ithuba lokuba seduze nowesifazane omuhle.