Okuqukethwe
"I-inthanethi - ayihlanganisi. Iqoqo lesizungu. Kubonakala sengathi sindawonye, kodwa ngamunye. Inkohliso yokuxhumana, inkohliso yobungane, inkohliso yempilo… «
Lesi sicaphuno esingenhla esivela encwadini kaJanusz Wisniewski ethi "Loneliness on the Web" sibonisa ngokunembile isimo sezindaba namuhla. Kodwa eminyakeni engaba ngu-20 nje edlule, wawungakwazi ukuya etendeni nabangane ngaphandle kokucabanga ngokunethezeka. Khumbulani ukuthi bagxumeka kanjani amatende, becula izingoma ngesiginci emlilweni, bebhukuda benqunu ngaphansi kwenyanga? Futhi kwakubangela amahloni kangakanani ukuqala ingxoxo nentombazane owawuyithanda kangaka? Futhi yeka intokozo okwaba yiyo lapho izinombolo eziyigugu zenombolo yocingo yasekhaya zibhalwa ephepheni ...
Uyakhumbula? Ukuthi izwi likayise eliqinile lalilinda ngakolunye uhlangothi locingo, bese kuba yilabo abahamba ngaphansi kwenyanga futhi, yiqiniso, lokho kuqabula kokuqala okungekuhle. Kwakubonakala sengathi nansi injabulo! Injabulo eyayikuphethe ngesikhathi weqa ekhaya, uphupha ikusasa elingenafu. Futhi akunandaba ukuthi kuseneminyaka eminingi kangaka yokuqeqeshwa, umsebenzi wasebusuku, isikhwama semali esingenalutho kanye negumbi lokulala elinyinyekile. Into eyinhloko kwakuwukuqonda: “Bangilindile lapho. Angingedwa».
Ubuchwepheshe buhlanganisa umhlaba, kodwa buyasihlukanisa
Kodwa kuthiwani manje? Kungase kubonakale sengathi enkathini yezokuxhumana emhlabeni wonke, ngeke sibe sodwa, ngoba izihlobo zethu, abangane, abantu esibajwayele bawukuchofoza okukodwa nje kude nathi. Ungathola kalula abangani obathandayo, abantu abanomqondo ofanayo noma udlale ngothando ngokukhululekile ezinhlelweni zokusebenza zokuphola.
Kodwa ngasizathu simbe, isizungu emhlabeni asinciphi unyaka nonyaka. Ngokuphambene nalokho, abantu abaningi ngokwengeziwe bazibuza imibuzo elula futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo esabekayo:
Kungani ngingedwa?
Kungani ngingakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obujwayelekile isikhathi eside kangaka?
Ingabe awekho ngempela amadoda avamile (abesifazane) asele?
Siyini isizathu sokwanda kwesizungu emhlabeni wonke nokuthi ungabheka kuphi izimpendulo zale mibuzo elula?
Phambi kwamehlo ethu, ukukhulumisana okuphelele kushintshaniswa ngokubhalelana nje. Izithombe-mzwelo esikhundleni samagama, izifinyezo esikhundleni sobuqotho bolimi — ukushintshwa kwezincazelo kwehlisa ngokomzwelo ababambiqhaza kungxoxo enjalo. Ama-emoji antshontsha imizwelo.
Ekukhulumisaneni nabobulili obuhlukile, ukugxilisa ingqondo kumuntu oyedwa akufinyelelwa, kwakheka inkohliso yokukhetha okungapheli. Ngemuva kwakho konke, kwanele ukucindezela inkinobho ethi "khipha ngababili" futhi uqhubeke nohambo lwakho olungapheli kuwebhu. Emhlabeni wemibono namaphethini amisiwe, ahlala abantu abafanayo abanesizungu njengathi.
Isakhamuzi ngasinye salo mhlaba sine-akhawunti yenkundla yezokuxhumana enenguqulo yayo ethuthukisiwe.: lapha nempumelelo, nobuhle, nengqondo. I-kaleidoscope yabasebenzisi abalungile nabanjalo abaneshwa.
Funda ukuphinda, hhayi ukubonakala
Pho kungani kunzima kangaka ukwakha ubudlelwano? Kungase kubonakale sengathi isithombe sesikhulu esiphelele noma inkosazana silungile. Hamba kumasayithi wokuqomisana amaningi - bese uya! Kodwa ukwehluleka kusilindele ngokunembile ngoba inguqulo yethu engcono kakhulu ngokuvamile ayihlangene nempilo yangempela. Futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, asiqali nje ukukholelwa kulesi sithombe esingamanga ngokwethu, kodwa futhi sakha okulindelekile okufanayo okungenangqondo okuvela kumlingani ongase abe khona.
Inkinga ibhebhethekiswa yiqiniso lokuthi ngakolunye uhlangothi lwesikrini isimo sibonakaliswe: ingane efanayo engathandeki nokuzethemba okuphansi ibheka thina, ozama ukufihla ukungapheleli kwakhe ngemuva kwe-wrapper enhle, engena kuyo. umhlaba wangempela ngumsebenzi onzima ngenxa yokwesaba okungathuthukisiwe kanye nezinkinga:
i-inferiority complex (ukuzethemba),
i-abandoned complex (ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa),
hermit complex (ukwesaba umthwalo wemfanelo nokusondelana),
umnipotence complex (Mina ngingcono kakhulu, futhi akunakwenzeka ukuthi ungangithandi).
Inhlanganisela yalezi zinkinga eholela eqinisweni lokuthi iningi lokuqomisana nge-inthanethi liphela emhlabeni obonakalayo, ligcwalisa nsuku zonke i-piggy bank engapheli yesizungu emhlabeni wangempela.
Okufanele ukwenze nokuthi ekugcineni uphume kanjani kulo mbuthano ononya?
Zivumele ungaphelele
Ithiphu ephezulu: Kubalulekile ukuzimisela ukuphuma endaweni yakho yokunethezeka ebonakalayo futhi ubhekane nokwesaba kwakho. Kungase kube nokwesaba okuningi. Lokhu ukwesaba ukuphoxeka (ngingase ngibonakale ngiyisiphukuphuku uma ngisho okuthile okungalungile), ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa (ikakhulukazi uma isipiliyoni esinjalo esibi sasisesikhathini esidlule), ukwesaba ukusondelana, ikakhulukazi obuseduze (ukuthi isithombe noma isithombe esivela inethiwekhi yokuxhumana nabantu izowa empeleni). Yiqiniso, lokhu akulula, kodwa lapha uzosizwa ukuqaphela ukuthi asiphelele, futhi lokhu kungapheleli kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele!
Amathiphu ambalwa alula kodwa asebenzayo okuxhumana okubukhoma
Bazokusiza ukuthi unqobe ukwesaba kwakho futhi ekugcineni ungene emhlabeni wangempela.
Hlela idethi yedethi ethile nesikhathi. Ungesabi ukuzwakalisa izifiso zakho.
Phatha idethi njengohambo olusha, ukuzizwisa okusha. Ungabeki amabheji amakhulu kuyo ngaso leso sikhathi. Lokhu kuzosiza ukunciphisa ukukhathazeka.
Vuma ukukhathazeka kwakho kumlingani wakho. Lesi yisinyathelo sokuqala sokuba nguwe futhi ukhombise ukuthi ungumuntu ophilayo.
Yeka ukufuna izaba (isimo esingalungile namuhla, isimo sengqondo, usuku, isigaba senyanga), landela uhlelo oluchazwe ngokucacile.
Phila isikhathi lapha futhi manje. Ungacabangeli umlingani wakho ukuthi ucabangani ngawe, indlela obukeka ngayo.
Gxila emizweni, imisindo, ukunambitheka.
Futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, khumbula ukuthi akekho umuntu obambele omunye, noma ngabe uphelele kangakanani, ongeke athathe indawo yokuxhumana kwabantu okubukhoma.