Okuqukethwe
- Kungani owesifazane engase akhathazeke ngokukhulelwa?
- Lokhu kuthatheka kungahunyushwa kanjani?
- Ingabe yindaba yokungatholi abantwana noma owesifazane “ophilile” naye angabhekana nalolu hlobo lokuthatheka?
- Izihlobo zingasiza futhi kanjani?
- Yini-ke okufanele uyenze lapho lokhu kuthatheka kuthatha indawo eyengeziwe ekuphileni nangaphakathi kombhangqwana?
- Umona, intukuthelo, ukungezwani ... kanjani ukulwa nemizwelo yakho? Ingabe unaso iseluleko ongasinikeza?
Kungani owesifazane engase akhathazeke ngokukhulelwa?
Namuhla, ukuvimbela inzalo kuye kwaveza inkohliso yokulawula inzalo. Lapho umntwana esephuzile isikhathi eside, abesifazane bazizwa benecala, akuvumelekile. Obsession iba a spiral esihogweni : uma befuna ingane engezi, baphatheke kabi. Bakudinga ngokuphuthumayo bazibonakalise ukuthi bangakhulelwa.
Lokhu kuthatheka kungahunyushwa kanjani?
Ukungazali kudala ikhefu okumele lilungiswe ngazo zonke izindlela kulaba besifazane. Kancane kancane, impilo yabo yonke igxile kulesi sifiso somntwanat futhi ngezinye izikhathi impilo yocansi iyancipha ibe yingxenye yokuzala. Abesifazane babala babuye baxoxe ngezinsuku okungenzeka ukuthi zenza inzalo, bavukele futhi babe nomona kwabanye besifazane abakwazi ukukhulelwa ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbili bezama. Ingxube yayo yonke le mizwa ingaveza ukungezwani phakathi kwabashadile.
Ingabe yindaba yokungatholi abantwana noma owesifazane “ophilile” naye angabhekana nalolu hlobo lokuthatheka?
Akuwona nje umbuzo wokungazali. Sihlala endaweni umphakathi ophuthumayo. Ukukhulelwa, bese kuba umntwana, kufana nento entsha yomthengi okufanele itholakale ngokushesha. Kodwa-ke, kufanele siqonde ukuthi ukuzala kungaphezu kwezibalo zethu eziqaphelayo. Lolu hloboukuthatheka kuba khona kakhulu emibhangqwaneni asebenesikhathi eside bezama ukuba nengane.
Ebusheni, ngezinye izikhathi kunabesifazane abasebasha abacabanga ngokungananazi ukuthi bazoba nobunzima bokuzala. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, bayaqaphela ukuthi kungenzeka balimele, bahlukunyezwe isenzakalo, ukushonelwa, ukulahlwa noma ukushiyeka ngokomzwelo. Asicabangi ukuthi yimalini ukuba ngumama kubuyisa isithunzi sikamama wethu. Kubalulekile ukubheka isibopho nomama wakhe ukuze abe ngumama ngesikhathi sakhe.
Izihlobo zingasiza futhi kanjani?
Eqinisweni, cha. Izihlobo zivame ukucasula, zisho imisho eseyilungisiwe njengokuthi: “ungabe usacabanga ngayo, izofika”. Ngalezo zikhathi, akekho ongaqonda ukuthi laba besifazane bazizwa kanjani. Bazizwa bengelutho, bazishaya indiva njengowesifazane nanjengomuntu. Kuwumuzwa onodlame kakhulu.
Yini-ke okufanele uyenze lapho lokhu kuthatheka kuthatha indawo eyengeziwe ekuphileni nangaphakathi kombhangqwana?
Ikhambi lingase libe uku khuluma nomuntu ongaphandle, angathathi hlangothi. Khuluma ube uqonda ukuthi, kulomnyakazo wokudedela izinto zizoba ngcono. Umgomo uwukuba ukwazi ukuphinde uvakashele umlando wayo futhi ubeke amagama kokuhlangenwe nakho kwayo. Ngisho noma kuthatha izinyanga ezimbalwa, lokhu kunyakaza kokukhuluma kuyazuzisa. Laba besifazane beze ekuthuleni ngokwabo.
Umona, intukuthelo, ukungezwani ... kanjani ukulwa nemizwelo yakho? Ingabe unaso iseluleko ongasinikeza?
Ngeshwa cha, le mizwa ehlala kithi iyimi ngokuzenzakalelayo ngokuphelele. Umphakathi uyakuphoqa ukuthi ulawule umzimba wakho, futhi, uma lokhu kungenakwenzeka, akudingekile ukusho ukuhlupheka, "kuvinjelwe" ngendlela. Eqinisweni, kunjengokungathi uyintaba-mlilo, enodaka oluvuthayo, kodwa le ntaba-mlilo ayikwazi ukuqhuma.