Okuqukethwe
Imisebenzi ehlanganyelwe iyisihloko esibaluleke kangangokuthi sinikezela esinye isifundo kuso. Okokuqala, ake sikhulume ngobunzima nezingxabano zokusebenzisana nokuthi ungazigwema kanjani. Ake siqale ngenkinga evamile edida abantu abadala: ingane ikwazi ngokugcwele imisebenzi eminingi eyisibopho, ayibizi lutho ukuqoqa amathoyizi ahlakazekile ebhokisini, ukwenza umbhede noma ukubeka izincwadi esikhwameni kusihlwa. Kodwa ngenkani akakwenzi konke lokhu!
“Kungaba kanjani ezimweni ezinjalo? kubuza abazali. "Uzokwenzani naye futhi?"
Mhlawumbe akunjalo, mhlawumbe yebo. Konke kuncike «ezizathwini» zokuthi «ukungalaleli» kwengane yakho. Kungenzeka ukuthi awukayihambeli yonke indlela. Phela, kubonakala kuwe ukuthi kulula kuye yedwa ukubeka wonke amathoyizi ezindaweni zawo. Mhlawumbe, uma ebuza ukuthi "ake sihlangane", khona-ke lokhu akulona ize: mhlawumbe kusenzima kuye ukuzihlela, noma mhlawumbe udinga nje ukubamba iqhaza kwakho, ukwesekwa kokuziphatha.
Masikhumbule: lapho ufunda ukugibela ibhayisikili elinamasondo amabili, kunesigaba esinjalo lapho ungasayisekeli isihlalo sehhashi ngesandla sakho, kodwa usagijima eduze. Futhi kunikeza amandla enganeni yakho! Ake siqaphele ukuthi ulimi lwethu lubonise ngokuhlakanipha kangakanani lo mzuzu ongokwengqondo: ukubamba iqhaza encazelweni yokuthi "ukusekelwa kokuziphatha" kuhanjiswa ngegama elifanayo nokubamba iqhaza ecaleni.
Kodwa ngokuvamile, umsuka wokuphikelela nokungamukeleki ulele ekuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle. Lokhu kungase kube inkinga yengane, kodwa ngokuvamile kwenzeka phakathi kwakho nengane, ebuhlotsheni bakho nayo.
Enye intombazane eyeve eshumini nambili yavuma kanye engxoxweni nodokotela wezengqondo:
“Bengizohlanza futhi ngiwasha izitsha isikhathi eside, kodwa bona (abazali) bazocabanga ukuthi bangehlule.”
Uma ubuhlobo bakho nengane yakho sebuvele buwohloka isikhathi eside, akufanele ucabange ukuthi kwanele ukusebenzisa indlela ethile - futhi konke kuzohamba kahle ngokuphazima kweso. "Izindlela", kunjalo, kufanele zisetshenziswe. Kodwa ngaphandle kwethoni enobungane, efudumele, ngeke banikeze lutho. Le ithoni iyisimo esibaluleke kakhulu sokuphumelela, futhi uma ukuhlanganyela kwakho emisebenzini yengane kungasizi, ngisho nangaphezulu, uma enqaba usizo lwakho, yima futhi ulalele ukuthi ukhuluma kanjani naye.
“Ngifuna ngempela ukufundisa indodakazi yami ukudlala upiyano,” kusho umama wentombazane eneminyaka eyisishiyagalombili. Ngathenga insimbi yomculo, ngaqasha uthisha. Nami ngake ngafunda, kodwa ngayeka, manje ngiyazisola. Ngicabanga ukuthi okungenani indodakazi yami izodlala. Ngihlala naye ensimbini amahora amabili nsuku zonke. Kodwa ngokuqhubekayo, kubi nakakhulu! Ekuqaleni, awukwazi ukumbeka emsebenzini, bese kuqala izifiso nokunganeliseki. Ngamtshela into eyodwa - wangitshela enye, igama nezwi. Ugcina ethi kimi: “Hamba, kungcono ngaphandle kwakho!”. Kodwa ngiyazi, ngokushesha nje lapho ngisuka, yonke into ihamba naye: akabambi isandla sakhe kanjalo, futhi udlala ngeminwe engalungile, futhi ngokuvamile yonke into iphetha ngokushesha: "Sengivele ngasebenza. .”
Ukukhathazeka kanye nezinhloso ezinhle zikamama kuyaqondakala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uzama ukuziphatha "ngokufanelekile", okungukuthi, usiza indodakazi yakhe endabeni enzima. Kodwa waphuthelwa isimo esiyinhloko, ngaphandle kwanoma yiluphi usizo enganeni luphendukela ngokuphambene nalo: lesi simo esiyinhloko ithoni yokuxhumana enobungane.
Cabanga ngalesi simo: umngane uza kini ukuze nenze okuthile ndawonye, isibonelo, ukulungisa i-TV. Uhlala phansi futhi akutshele: “Ngakho-ke, thola incazelo, manje thatha isikrudrayiva bese ukhipha udonga olungemuva. Usikhulula kanjani isikulufu? Ungacindezeli kanjalo! … Ngicabanga ukuthi ngeke sikwazi ukuqhubeka. "Umsebenzi ohlangene" onjalo uchazwa ngokuhlekisa ngumlobi oyiNgisi uJK Jerome:
“Mina,” kubhala umbhali ngokomuntu wokuqala, “angikwazi ukuhlala ngithule ngibukele othile esebenza. Ngingathanda ukuba nengxenye emsebenzini wakhe. Ngivame ukusukuma, ngiqale ngihambahambe ekamelweni ngifake izandla zami emaphaketheni, futhi ngibatshele ukuthi benzeni. Injalo imvelo yami esebenzayo.
"Iziqondiso" cishe ziyadingeka endaweni ethile, kodwa hhayi emisebenzini ehlangene nengane. Lapho nje zivela, ukusebenza ndawonye kuyama. Phela, ndawonye kusho ukulingana. Akufanele uthathe isikhundla phezu kwengane; izingane ziyakuzwela kakhulu, futhi wonke amandla aphilayo emiphefumulo yazo ziyakuvukela. Yilapho-ke lapho beqala khona ukumelana “nesidingo”, bengavumelani “nokusobala”, bephonsela inselelo “okungenakuphikiswa”.
Ukugcina isikhundla endaweni elinganayo akulula kangako: ngezinye izikhathi ubuhlakani obuningi bengqondo nezwe buyadingeka. Ake ngikunike isibonelo sokuhlangenwe nakho komunye umama:
U-Petya wakhula engumfana obuthakathaka, ongathandi kwezemidlalo. Abazali bamncenga ukuba enze izivivinyo, bathenga ibha evundlile, bayiqinisa ngesikhathi somnyango. Ubaba wangibonisa indlela yokudonsa. Kodwa akukho okwasiza - umfana wayengasenayo isithakazelo kwezemidlalo. Umama wabe esephonsela uPetya inselelo emqhudelwaneni. Isiqephu sephepha esinamagrafu salengiswa odongeni: "Mama", "Petya". Nsuku zonke, abahlanganyeli baqaphele emgqeni wabo ukuthi bavame ukuzidonsa kangaki, bahlale phansi, baphakamise imilenze yabo "ekhoneni". Kwakungadingekile ukwenza izivivinyo eziningi zilandelana, futhi, njengoba kwavela, umama noma uPetya wayengakwazi ukwenza lokhu. UPetya waqala ukuqikelela ukuthi umama wakhe akamtholi. Yiqiniso, kwadingeka asebenze kanzima ukuze ahambisane nendodana yakhe. Umncintiswano waqhubeka izinyanga ezimbili. Ngenxa yalokho, inkinga ebuhlungu yokuhlolwa kwemfundo engokomzimba yaxazululwa ngokuphumelelayo.
Ngizokutshela ngendlela ebaluleke kakhulu esiza ukusindisa ingane kanye nathi kusuka «imihlahlandlela». Le ndlela ihlotshaniswa nokunye ukutholwa ngu-LS Vygotsky futhi sekuqinisekiswe izikhathi eziningi ucwaningo lwesayensi nolusebenzayo.
UVygotsky wathola ukuthi ingane ifunda ukuzihlela kanye nezindaba zayo kalula futhi ngokushesha, uma, esigabeni esithile, isizwa ezinye izindlela zangaphandle. Lezi kungaba izithombe zesikhumbuzo, uhlu lwezinto okufanele zenziwe, amanothi, imidwebo, noma imiyalelo ebhaliwe.
Qaphela ukuthi lezi zindlela azisewona amazwi omuntu omdala, sezithatha indawo yazo. Ingane ingakwazi ukuzisebenzisa iyodwa, bese isiphakathi nendawo yokubhekana necala ngokwayo.
Ngizonikeza isibonelo sokuthi, emndenini owodwa, kwakungenzeka kanjani, ngosizo lwendlela yangaphandle enjalo, ukukhansela, noma kunalokho, ukudlulisela kumntwana ngokwakhe "imisebenzi yokuqondisa" yabazali.
U-Andrew uneminyaka eyisithupha. Ngesicelo esihle sabazali bakhe, kufanele azigqoke lapho ezohamba ngezinyawo. Kusebusika ngaphandle, futhi udinga ukufaka izinto eziningi ezahlukene. Umfana, ngakolunye uhlangothi, "uyashelela": uzofaka amasokisi kuphela futhi ahlale eguqa, engazi ukuthi enzeni ngokulandelayo; khona-ke, egqoke ijazi loboya nesigqoko, ulungiselela ukuphuma emgwaqweni egqoke ama-slippers. Abazali bathi bonke ubuvila nokunganaki kwengane, ukuhlanjalazwa, ukumkhuthaza. Ngokuvamile, izingxabano ziyaqhubeka usuku nosuku. Nokho, ngemva kokubonisana nodokotela wezengqondo, konke kuyashintsha. Abazali benza uhlu lwezinto okufanele umntwana azigqoke. Uhlu lube lude kakhulu: izinto eziningi zafinyelela kweziyisishiyagalolunye! Ingane isivele ikwazi ukufunda ngama-syllables, kodwa okufanayo, eduze kwegama ngalinye lale nto, abazali, kanye nomfana, badweba isithombe esihambisanayo. Lolu hlu olunezithombe lulengiswa odongeni.
Kufika ukuthula emndenini, izingxabano ziyaphela, futhi ingane imatasa kakhulu. Wenzani manje? Agijimise umunwe wakhe phezu kohlu, athole okufanele, agijime ayokubeka, agijimele ohlwini futhi, athole okulandelayo, njalonjalo.
Kulula ukuqagela ukuthi kwenzekeni ngokushesha: umfana wabamba ngekhanda lolu hlu futhi waqala ukulungela ukuhamba ngokushesha nangokuzimela njengoba abazali bakhe benza ukusebenza. Kuyamangaza ukuthi konke lokhu kwenzeka ngaphandle kokungezwani komzimba - kokubili endodaneni nakubazali bayo.
Izimali zangaphandle
(izindaba kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabazali)
Umama wezingane ezimbili zasenkulisa (iminyaka emine nesihlanu nengxenye ubudala), esefunde ngezinzuzo zekhambi langaphandle, wanquma ukuzama le ndlela. Kanye nezingane, wenza uhlu lwezinto zasekuseni okufanele zibe nazo ezithombeni. Izithombe bezilenga ekamelweni lezingane, kubhavu, ekhishini. Izinguquko ekuziphatheni kwezingane zidlule konke obekulindelekile. Ngaphambi kwalokho, kwakudlula ukusa ngezikhumbuzo eziqhubekayo zikamama: “Lungisa imibhede”, “Hambani niyogeza”, “Sekuyisikhathi setafula”, “Hlanzani izitsha” ... Manje izingane zagijima ukuze ziqedele into ngayinye esohlwini. . “Umdlalo” onjalo wathatha cishe izinyanga ezimbili, okwathi ngemva kwalokho abaNtwana ngokwabo baqala ukudweba izithombe zezinye izinto.
Esinye isibonelo: “Kwadingeka ngithathe uhambo lwebhizinisi amasonto amabili, futhi kwasala kuphela indodana yami eneminyaka eyishumi nesithupha uMisha endlini. Ngaphezu kwezinye izinkathazo, ngangikhathazekile ngezimbali: kwakudingeka ziniselwe ngokucophelela, okuyinto uMisha ayengajwayele ukuyenza; sase sinokuhlangenwe nakho okudabukisayo lapho izimbali zibuna. Ngafikelwa umcabango ojabulisayo: Ngasonga amabhodwe ngamaphepha amhlophe futhi ngabhala kuwo ngamagama amakhulu: “Mishenka, ngicela ungiphuzise. Ngiyabonga!». Umphumela waba muhle kakhulu: UMisha wakha ubuhlobo obuhle kakhulu nezimbali.”
Emndenini wabangane bethu, kwakulenga ibhodi elikhethekile ephasishi, lapho ilungu ngalinye lomndeni (umama, ubaba kanye nezingane ezimbili zesikole) lalingakwazi ukuphina noma yimuphi umlayezo owabo. Bekunezikhumbuzo nezicelo, ulwazi olufushane nje, ukunganeliseki ngothile noma okuthile, ukubonga ngokuthile. Lelibhodi ngempela laliyisikhungo sokuxhumana emkhayeni futhi liyindlela yokuxazulula izinkinga.
Cabangela lokhu okulandelayo okuyimbangela evamile yokungqubuzana lapho uzama ukubambisana nengane. Kuyenzeka umzali azimisele ngokufundisa noma asize ngendlela athanda ngayo futhi alandele iphimbo lakhe — akathukutheli, akayaleli, akagxeki, kodwa izinto azihambi. Lokhu kwenzeka kubazali abavikela ngokweqile abafuna okungaphezu kwezingane zabo kunezingane ngokwabo.
Ngikhumbula isiqephu esisodwa. KwakuseCaucasus, ebusika, ngesikhathi samaholide esikole. Abantu abadala kanye nezingane babeshushuluza eqhweni. Futhi phakathi nentaba kwakumi iqembu elincane: umama, ubaba kanye nendodakazi yabo eneminyaka eyishumi ubudala. Indodakazi — eqhweni lezingane ezintsha (okwakuyivelakancane ngaleso sikhathi), ngesudi entsha emangalisayo. Bebephikisana ngokuthile. Lapho ngisondela, ngezwa ngokuzenzakalelayo ingxoxo elandelayo:
“Tomochka,” kusho ubaba, “kahle, jika okungenani kube kanye!”
“Ngeke,” uTom ephakamisa amahlombe akhe ngokunganaki.
“Hhayi-ke, ngiyakucela,” kusho uMama. — Udinga nje ukuphusha kancane ngezinduku ... bheka, ubaba uzovela manje (kubonisiwe ubaba).
Ngathi ngeke, futhi ngeke! Angifuni,” kusho intombazane ifulathela.
Tom, sizame kanzima! Size ngamabomu lapha ukuze ufunde, bakhokha kakhulu amathikithi.
— Angikubuzanga!
Ngacabanga ukuthi zingaki izingane eziphupha ngama- skis anjalo (kubazali abaningi asuke engaphezu kwamandla azo), ithuba elinjalo lokuba sentabeni enkulu ne-lift, umqeqeshi ozozifundisa ukushushuluza! Le ntombazane enhle inakho konke. Kodwa yena, njengenyoni evalelwe ekhejini legolide, akafuni lutho. Yebo, futhi kunzima ukufuna lapho bobabili ubaba nomama ngokushesha «bagijimela phambili» kwanoma yiziphi izifiso zakho!
Kwenzeka okufanayo ngezifundo ngezinye izikhathi.
Ubaba ka-Olya oneminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu waphendukela ekululekeni ngokwengqondo.
Indodakazi ayenzi lutho endlini; awukwazi ukuya esitolo ukuze uphenywe, ushiya izitsha zingcolile, akagezi ilineni lakhe futhi, ulishiya lifakwe izinsuku ezingu-2-XNUMX. Eqinisweni, abazali bakulungele ukukhulula u-Olya kuwo wonke amacala - uma nje efunda! Kodwa naye akafuni ukufunda. Uma ebuya esikoleni, ulala kusofa noma ulenga ocingweni. Isongiwe yaba "kathathu" kanye "nokubili". Abazali abanalo ulwazi lokuthi uzongena kanjani ebangeni leshumi. Futhi bayesaba ngisho ukucabanga ngezivivinyo zokugcina! Umama usebenza ngendlela yokuthi zonke izinsuku ekhaya. Kulezi zinsuku ucabanga ngezifundo zika-Olya kuphela. Ubaba ubiza emsebenzini: ingabe u-Olya uhlale phansi ukuze afunde? Cha, angihlalanga phansi: “Nangu ubaba uzovela emsebenzini, ngizofundisa naye.” Ubaba uya ekhaya futhi esitimeleni esingaphansi komhlaba ufundisa umlando, amakhemikhali ezincwadini zika-Olya ... Ufika ekhaya "ehlome ephelele." Kodwa akulula kangako ukuncenga u-Olya ukuba ahlale phansi afunde. Ekugcineni, ngehora leshumi u-Olya wenza umusa. Ufunda inkinga — ubaba uzama ukuyichaza. Kodwa u-Olya akayithandi indlela akwenza ngayo. "Akukaqondakali." Izihlamba zika-Olya zithathelwa indawo ukuncenga kukapapa. Ngemva kwemizuzu engaba yishumi, yonke into iphela ngokuphelele: U-Olya ududula izincwadi zokufunda, ngezinye izikhathi uvele athukuthele. Abazali manje sebecabanga ukuthi bamqashele othisha.
Iphutha labazali baka-Olya alikona ukuthi bafuna ngempela indodakazi yabo ukuba ifunde, kodwa bafuna, ngomqondo ongokomfanekiso, esikhundleni sika-Olya.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, ngihlale ngikhumbula i-anecdote: Abantu bagijima eduze kwesiteji, bayaphuthuma, baphuze ukufika esitimeleni. Isitimela saqala ukuhamba. Baze babambe imoto yokugcina, bagxume emontweni, bajikijele izinto emva kwabo, sihambe isitimela. Labo abasala esiteji, bekhathele, bawela phezu kwepotimende labo futhi baqala ukuhleka kakhulu. "Uhlekani?" bayabuza. “Ngakho-ke abalilayo bethu bahambile!”
Vumelana, abazali abalungiselela izingane zabo izifundo, noma «faka» nabo eyunivesithi, ngesiNgisi, izibalo, izikole zomculo, zifana kakhulu nokuvalelisa okuneshwa. Ngokufutheka kwabo ngokomzwelo, bayakhohlwa ukuthi akusiyona eyabo, kodwa eyengane. Futhi-ke ngokuvamile "uhlala endaweni yesikhulumi."
Lokhu kwenzeka ku-Olya, isiphetho sakhe esalandelwa eminyakeni emithathu eyalandela. Akazange aphumelele esikoleni esiphakeme futhi waze wangena eyunivesithi yobunjiniyela eyayingathandeki kuye, kodwa, ngaphandle kokuqeda unyaka wakhe wokuqala, wayeka ukufunda.
Abazali abafuna kakhulu ingane yabo bavame ukuba nesikhathi esinzima ngokwabo. Abanawo amandla noma isikhathi sezithakazelo zabo, ezimpilweni zabo. Ubunzima bomsebenzi wabo wabazali buyaqondakala: emva kwakho konke, kufanele uhudule isikebhe ngokumelene nomsinga ngaso sonke isikhathi!
Futhi lokhu kusho ukuthini ezinganeni?
"Ngothando" - "Noma ngemali"
Ebhekene nokungazimisele kwengane ukwenza noma yini okufanele yenziwe kuye - ukufunda, ukufunda, ukusiza endlini - abanye abazali bathatha indlela «yokugwazisa». Bavuma “ukukhokhela” ingane (ngemali, ngezinto, nezinjabulo) uma yenza lokho abafuna ikwenze.
Le ndlela iyingozi kakhulu, ingasaphathwa eyokuthi ayisebenzi kahle. Ngokuvamile icala liphetha ngezimangalo zengane ezikhulayo - uqala ukufuna okwengeziwe nangaphezulu - futhi izinguquko ezithenjisiwe ekuziphatheni kwakhe azenzeki.
Kungani? Ukuze siqonde isizathu, kudingeka sijwayelane nendlela engokwengqondo ecashile kakhulu, esanda kuba yisihloko socwaningo olukhethekile lwezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo.
Kokunye ukuhlola, iqembu labafundi lakhokhelwa ukudlala igeyimu yendida ababeyithanda kakhulu. Ngokushesha abafundi baleli qembu baqala ukudlala kancane kakhulu kunabalingane babo ababengaholi.
Indlela ekhona lapha, kanye nasezimweni eziningi ezifanayo (izibonelo zansuku zonke nocwaningo lwesayensi) yilokhu okulandelayo: umuntu wenza ngempumelelo nangentshiseko lokho akukhethayo, ngomfutho wangaphakathi. Uma azi ukuthi uzothola inkokhelo noma umvuzo walokhu, intshiseko yakhe iyancipha, futhi wonke umsebenzi ushintsha uhlamvu: manje umatasa hhayi "ngokudala komuntu siqu", kodwa "ngokwenza imali".
Ososayensi abaningi, ababhali, kanye nabadwebi bayazi ukuthi kuyingozi kangakanani ubuciko, futhi okungenani okungajwayelekile enqubweni yokudala, basebenza "ngokuhleleka" belindele umvuzo. Amandla omuntu nobuhlakani bababhali ayedingeka ukuze amanoveli kaMozart ethi Requiem kanye nekaDostoevsky avele ngaphansi kwalezi zimo.
Isihloko esiphakanyisiwe siholela ekucabangeni okuningi okujulile, futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke mayelana nezikole nezingxenye zazo eziyisibopho zezinto okufanele zifundwe ukuze kuphendulwe amaphuzu. Ingabe isimiso esinjalo asiqedi ilukuluku lemvelo lezingane, isithakazelo sazo sokufunda izinto ezintsha?
Kodwa-ke, ake sime lapha futhi siphethe ngesikhumbuzi nje kithi sonke: masiqaphele kakhulu izifiso zangaphandle, ukuqinisa, kanye nezikhuthazo zezingane. Bangenza umonakalo omkhulu ngokucekela phansi indwangu ethambile yomsebenzi wangaphakathi wezingane.
Phambi kwami kukhona umama onendodakazi eneminyaka eyishumi nane. Umama ungowesifazane onomdlandla onezwi elikhulu. Indodakazi ikhathele, ayinandaba, ayinandaba nanoma yini, ayikwenzi lutho, ayiyi ndawo, ayiyena umngane nanoma ubani. Yiqiniso, uyalalela; kulo mugqa, umama akanazikhalo ngaye.
Ngisele ngedwa nentombazane, ngiyabuza: “Ukube ubunenduku yemilingo, ubungayicelani kuyo?” Intombazane yacabanga isikhathi eside, yabe isiphendula ngokuthula nangokungabaza: “Ukuze mina ngokwami ngifune lokho abazali bami abakufunayo kimi.”
Impendulo yangithinta ngokujulile: indlela abazali abangawaphuca ngayo amandla ezifiso zabo enganeni!
Kodwa lokhu kuyicala elidlulele. Ngokuvamile, izingane zilwela ilungelo lokufuna nokuthola lokho ezikudingayo. Futhi uma abazali bephikelela ezintweni "ezilungile", khona-ke ingane ngokuphikelela okufanayo iqala ukwenza "okungalungile": kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini, inqobo nje uma kungokwakhe noma "ngakolunye uhlangothi". Lokhu kwenzeka ikakhulukazi entsheni. Kuvela indida: ngemizamo yabo, abazali baphusha izingane zabo ngaphandle kwezifundo ezibalulekile kanye nomthwalo wemfanelo wezindaba zabo siqu.
Umama kaPetya uphendukela kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Isethi yezinkinga ezijwayelekile: ibanga lesishiyagalolunye "alidonsi", aliwenzi umsebenzi wesikole, alinasithakazelo ezincwadini, futhi nganoma yisiphi isikhathi lizama ukuphuma ekhaya. Umama ulahlekelwe ukuthula, ukhathazeke kakhulu ngesiphetho sikaPetya: kuzokwenzekani kuye? Ubani ozokhula kuwo? Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uPetya "uyingane" ebomvana, emamathekayo, esesimweni sokunganaki. Ucabanga ukuthi konke kuhamba kahle. Inkinga esikoleni? Hhayi-ke, bazoyilungisa ngandlela thize. Ngokuvamile, impilo yinhle, ngumama kuphela obangela ubuthi.
Inhlanganisela yemisebenzi eminingi yokufundisa yabazali kanye ne-infantilism, okungukuthi, ukungavuthwa kwezingane, kuyinto evamile futhi yemvelo ngokuphelele. Kungani? Indlela lapha ilula, isekelwe ekusebenzeni komthetho wezengqondo:
“Ungadonsela ihhashi emanzini, kodwa awukwazi ukuliphuzisa,” kusho isaga esihlakaniphile. Ungakwazi ukuphoqa ingane ukuba ibambe ngekhanda izifundo, kodwa "isayensi" enjalo iyohlala ekhanda lakhe njengesisindo esifile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lapho umzali ephikelela kakhulu, angathandwa kakhulu, cishe, ngisho nesifundo sesikole esithakazelisa kakhulu, esiwusizo nesidingekayo sizoba.
Kungaba kanjani? Indlela yokugwema izimo nezingxabano zokuphoqeleka?
Okokuqala, kufanele ubhekisise ukuthi yini ingane yakho ethakasela kakhulu kuyo. Kungaba ukudlala ngonodoli, izimoto, ukuxoxa nabangane, ukuqoqa amamodeli, ukudlala ibhola, umculo wesimanje... Eminye yale misebenzi ingase ibonakale ingenalutho kuwe. , ngisho nokulimaza. Nokho, khumbula: kuye, zibalulekile futhi ezithakazelisayo, futhi kufanele ziphathwe ngenhlonipho.
Kuhle uma ingane yakho ikutshela ukuthi yini ngempela kulezi zindaba ezithakazelisa futhi ezibalulekile kuye, futhi ungabheka ngamehlo akhe, njengokungathi kusukela ngaphakathi kwempilo yakhe, ugwema iseluleko nokuhlola. Kuhle kakhulu uma ungaba nengxenye kule misebenzi yengane, wabelane naye ngale ndlela yokuzilibazisa. Izingane ezimweni ezinjalo zibonga kakhulu kubazali bazo. Kuzoba khona omunye umphumela wokubamba iqhaza okunjalo: ekuthandeni kwengane yakho, uzokwazi ukuqala ukudlulisela kuye lokho okubona kuwusizo: ulwazi olwengeziwe, nesipiliyoni sokuphila, nombono wakho ngezinto, ngisho nentshisekelo yokufunda. , ikakhulukazi uma uqala ngezincwadi noma amanothi ngendaba oyithandayo.
Kulokhu, isikebhe sakho sizohamba nokugeleza.
Isibonelo, ngizonikeza indaba yomunye ubaba. Ekuqaleni, ngokusho kwakhe, wayekhathele ngenxa yomculo ozwakalayo ekamelweni lendodana yakhe, kodwa wabe eseya "ekugcineni": eqoqe ulwazi oluncane lwesiNgisi, wamema indodana yakhe ukuba ichaze futhi ibhale phansi. amazwi ezingoma ezivamile. Umphumela wawumangalisa: umculo waba nokuthula, futhi indodana yavusa isithakazelo esinamandla, cishe uthando, ngolimi lwesiNgisi. Kamuva, waphothula e-Institute of Foreign Languages futhi waba umhumushi ochwepheshe.
Isu elinjalo eliyimpumelelo, abazali ngezinye izikhathi abalithola ngokunembile, lisikhumbuza indlela igatsha lesihlahla sama-apula elixhunywe ngayo emdlalweni wasendle. Isilwane sasendle siyakwazi ukuphila futhi simelana nesithwathwa, futhi igatsha elixhunyelelwe liqala ukudla ubungqabavu baso, okumila kuso isihlahla esihle kakhulu. Isithombo esilinyiwe ngokwaso asihlali emhlabathini.
Kanjalo nemisebenzi eminingi abazali noma othisha abayenza izingane, ngisho nezimfuno nezihlamba: azisindi. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, basuke kahle «baxhunyelelwe» ezikhona zokuzilibazisa. Nakuba lezi zokuzilibazisa kukhona «zakudala» ekuqaleni, zinamandla, futhi la mabutho ayakwazi ukusekela ukukhula nokuqhakaza kwe- «cultivar».
Kuleli qophelo, ngibona kusengaphambili ukuphikisa kwabazali: awukwazi ukuqondiswa isithakazelo esisodwa; isiyalo siyadingeka, kunemithwalo yemfanelo, kuhlanganise nengathakazelisi! Angikwazi ukuzibamba ngivume. Sizokhuluma kabanzi mayelana nokuziphatha kanye nezibopho kamuva. Futhi manje ake ngikukhumbuze ukuthi sixoxa ngezingxabano zokuphoqelela, okungukuthi, izimo ezinjalo lapho kufanele ugcizelele futhi ufune ukuthi indodana noma indodakazi yakho yenze lokho "okudingekile", futhi lokhu konakalisa isimo sengqondo kokubili.
Cishe usuqaphele kakade ukuthi ezifundweni zethu asinikezi kuphela lokho okumelwe ukwenze (noma ukungakwenzi) nezingane, kodwa nalokho thina, abazali, okufanele sikwenze ngathi. Umthetho olandelayo, esizowuxoxa manje, umayelana nendlela yokusebenza nawe.
Sesike sakhuluma ngesidingo “sokudedela isondo” ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, okungukuthi, ukuyeka ukwenzela ingane lokho esekwazi ukukwenza yedwa. Nokho, lo mthetho wawuphathelene nokudluliselwa kancane kancane enganeni yakho ezindabeni ezingokoqobo. Manje sizokhuluma ngendlela yokuqinisekisa ukuthi lezi zinto ziyenziwa.
Umbuzo obalulekile uthi: kufanele kube ukukhathazeka kukabani? Ekuqaleni, yiqiniso, abazali, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi? Imuphi kubazali ongaphuphi ukuthi ingane yakhe ivuka iyodwa esikoleni, ihlale phansi ukuze ifunde, igqoke ngokuvumelana nesimo sezulu, ilale ngesikhathi, iya embuthanweni noma ukuqeqeshwa ngaphandle kwezikhumbuzo? Nokho, emindenini eminingi, ukunakekelwa kwazo zonke lezi zinto kusala emahlombe abazali. Uyasazi yini isimo lapho umama evame ukuvusa osemusha ekuseni, aze alwe naye ngalokhu? Ingabe uyazazi izihlamba zendodana noma indodakazi: “Kungani unga…?!” (angiphekanga, angithunganga, angikhumbuzanga)?
Uma lokhu kwenzeka emndenini wakho, naka kakhulu uMthetho 3.
UMthetho 3
Kancane kancane, kodwa kancane kancane, susa ukunakekelwa kwakho kanye nesibopho ngezindaba zomuntu siqu zengane yakho futhi ukudlulisele kuye.
Ungavumeli amagama athi "zinakekele" akwethuse. Sikhuluma ngokususwa kokunakekela okuncane, ukugadwa isikhathi eside, okuvele kuvimbele indodana noma indodakazi yakho ukuthi ikhule. Ukubanika umthwalo wemfanelo ngezenzo zabo, izenzo zabo, bese ukuphila kwekusasa kuwukunakekela okukhulu kakhulu ongakubonisa kubo. Lokhu kuwukukhathazeka okuhlakaniphile. Kwenza ingane ibe namandla futhi izethembe ngokwengeziwe, futhi ubuhlobo benu buzole futhi bujabulise.
Maqondana nalokhu, ngingathanda ukwabelana ngenkumbulo eyodwa evela empilweni yami.
Kwakukudala. Ngisanda kuqeda esikoleni esiphakeme futhi ngathola ingane yami yokuqala. Izikhathi zazinzima futhi imisebenzi yayikhokha kancane. Abazali bathola, yiqiniso, ngaphezulu, ngoba basebenze impilo yabo yonke.
Ngesinye isikhathi, lapho exoxa nami, ubaba wathi: “Ngikulungele ukukusiza ngokwezimali ezimweni eziphuthumayo, kodwa angifuni ukukwenza ngaso sonke isikhathi: ngokwenza lokhu, ngizokulethela ukulimala kuphela.”
La mazwi akhe ngawakhumbula impilo yami yonke, kanye nomuzwa enganginawo ngaleso sikhathi. Kungachazwa kanje: “Yebo, kulungile. Ngiyabonga ngokunginakekela okukhethekile. Ngizozama ukusinda, futhi ngicabanga ukuthi ngizokwazi."
Manje, lapho ngibheka emuva, ngiyaqonda ukuthi ubaba wangitshela okuthile okwengeziwe: “Uqine ngokwanele ezinyaweni zakho, manje hamba wedwa, awusangidingi.” Lokhu kukholwa kwakhe, okuvezwe ngamagama ahluke ngokuphelele, kwangisiza kakhulu kamuva ezimweni eziningi ezinzima zempilo.
Inqubo yokudlulisela umthwalo wemfanelo enganeni ngezindaba zayo inzima kakhulu. Kufanele kuqale ngezinto ezincane. Kodwa ngisho nangalezi zinto ezincane, abazali bakhathazeke kakhulu. Lokhu kuyaqondakala: ngemva kwakho konke, kufanele ubeke engozini inhlalakahle yesikhashana yengane yakho. Ukuphikisa kufana nalokhu: “Ngingamvusa kanjani? Phela uzolala ubuthongo, bese kuba nenkulu inkinga esikoleni? Noma: “Uma ngingamphoqi ukuba enze umsebenzi wesikole, uzocosha ngababili!”.
Kungase kuzwakale kuyindida, kodwa ingane yakho idinga isipiliyoni esibi, yiqiniso, uma singasongeli ukuphila noma impilo yakhe. (Sizokhuluma kabanzi ngalokhu eSifundweni 9.)
Leli qiniso lingabhalwa njengoMthetho 4.
UMthetho 4
Vumela ingane yakho ukuthi ibhekane nemiphumela emibi yezenzo zayo (noma ukungenzi lutho kwayo). Kungaleso sikhathi kuphela lapho ezokhula khona futhi abe “nokuqonda.”
Umthetho wethu wesi-4 usho into efanayo nesaga esaziwayo esithi "funda emaphutheni." Kufanele sibe nesibindi sokuvumela izingane zenze amaphutha ukuze zifunde ukuzimela.
Imisebenzi yasekhaya
Umsebenzi owodwa
Bheka ukuthi uxabene yini nengane ngesisekelo sezinto ezithile, ngokubona kwakho, engakwazi futhi okufanele iyenze yodwa. Khetha eyodwa yazo futhi nichithe isikhathi nayo nindawonye. Uyabona ukuthi wenze kangcono yini nawe? Uma kunjalo, dlulela kumsebenzi olandelayo.
Umsebenzi wesibili
Woza nezinye izindlela zangaphandle ezingase zithathele indawo yokubamba kwakho iqhaza kuleli bhizinisi laleyo ngane. Kungaba iwashi le-alamu, umthetho obhaliwe noma isivumelwano, itafula, noma okunye. Xoxa futhi udlale nengane lolu sizo. Qiniseka ukuthi ukhululekile ukuyisebenzisa.
Umsebenzi wesithathu
Thatha ishidi lephepha, ulihlukanise phakathi ngomugqa oqondile. Ngenhla kwesokunxele, bhala: «Self», ngenhla kwesokudla — «Ndawonye.» Bhala kuzo lezo zinto ingane yakho ezinqumayo futhi ezenzayo ngokwayo, nalezo ojwayele ukubamba iqhaza kuzo. (Kuhle uma niqedela ithebula ndawonye futhi nivumelana.) Bese nibona ukuthi yini engasuswa kusukela kukholomu ethi «Ndawonye» manje noma esikhathini esizayo esiseduze kuya kukholomu ethi «Self». Khumbula, isinyathelo ngasinye esinjalo siyisinyathelo esibalulekile ekukhuliseni ingane yakho. Qiniseka ukuthi uyayibungaza impumelelo yakhe. Ebhokisini 4-3 uzothola isibonelo setafula elinjalo.
Umbuzo wabazali
UMBUZO: Futhi uma, naphezu kwakho konke ukuhlupheka kwami, akwenzeki lutho: yena (yena) akakafuni lutho, akenzi lutho, elwa nathi, futhi ngeke sikubekezelele?
IMPENDULO: Sizokhuluma kakhulu ngezimo ezinzima kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho. Lapha ngifuna ukusho into eyodwa: “Ngicela ubekezele!” Uma uzama ngempela ukukhumbula Imithetho nokuzijwayeza ngokuqeda imisebenzi yethu, umphumela uzofika nakanjani. Kodwa kungase kungabonakali ngokushesha. Ngezinye izikhathi kuthatha izinsuku, amasonto, futhi ngezinye izikhathi izinyanga, ngisho nonyaka noma emibili, ngaphambi kokuba imbewu oyitshalile iqhume. Enye imbewu idinga ukuhlala isikhathi eside emhlabathini. Uma nje ungalilahli ithemba uqhubeke nokuxegisa umhlaba. Khumbula: inqubo yokukhula kwembewu isivele iqalile.
UMBUZO: Ingabe kuyadingeka ngaso sonke isikhathi ukusiza ingane ngetayitela? Ngokokuhlangenwe nakho kwami ngiyazi ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ngezinye izikhathi ukuthi othile ahlale eduze kwakho futhi akulalele.
IMPENDULO: Uqinisile impela! Wonke umuntu, ikakhulukazi ingane, udinga usizo hhayi kuphela "ngesenzo", kodwa futhi "ngezwi", ngisho nangokuthula. Manje sizoqhubeka nobuciko bokulalela nokuqonda.
Isibonelo setafula elithi «SELF-TOGETHER», elahlanganiswa umama nendodakazi yakhe eneminyaka eyishumi nanye ubudala.
Ngokwakho
1. Ngiyavuka ngiye esikoleni.
2. Nginquma ukuthi ngihlala nini phansi ukuze ngifunde.
3. Ngiwela umgwaqo futhi ngingahumusha umfowethu nodadewethu omncane; Umama uyakuvumela, kodwa ubaba akavumi.
4. Nquma ukuthi uzogeza nini.
5. Ngikhetha ukuthi ngibe umngane nobani.
6. Ngiyafudumala kwesinye isikhathi ngiziphekele ukudla, ngiphakele abancane.
I-Vmeste s mamoj
1. Kwesinye isikhathi senza izibalo; kuchaza umama.
2. Sinquma ukuthi kunini lapho kungenzeka khona ukumema abangani kithi.
3. Sabelana ngamathoyizi athengiwe noma amaswidi.
4. Kwesinye isikhathi ngike ngicele iseluleko kumama ukuthi ngenzeni.
5. Sinquma ukuthi sizokwenzenjani ngeSonto.
Ake ngikutshele imininingwane eyodwa: intombazane ivela emndenini omkhulu, futhi ungabona ukuthi isivele izimele. Khona manjalo kuyacaca ukuthi kunezimo asadinga ukuthi unina abambe iqhaza. Asethembe ukuthi izinto 1 no-4 kwesokudla zizodlulela phezulu maduze nje: sezivele ziphakathi nendawo.