Okuqukethwe
Sivame ukukholelwa ekusaseni elingcono futhi singakubukeli phansi okwamanje. Vuma, lokhu akulungile kuze kube namuhla. Kodwa kunencazelo ejulile yokuthi asikwazi ukujabula lapha futhi manje isikhathi eside, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uFrank McAndrew.
Ngawo-1990, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMartin Seligman wahola igatsha elisha lesayensi, i-positive psychology, eyabeka umcimbi wenjabulo esikhungweni socwaningo. Le nhlangano yacosha imibono kuPsychology yesintu, okwathi, kusukela ngasekupheleni kwawo-1950, igcizelele ukubaluleka kokuthi wonke umuntu abone amandla akhe futhi enze eyabo incazelo ekuphileni.
Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi, kuye kwenziwa izifundo eziyizinkulungwane futhi kwanyatheliswa amakhulu ezincwadi ezinezincazelo namacebiso okufinyelela inhlalakahle yomuntu siqu. Ingabe sisanda kujabula? Kungani ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukwaneliseka kwethu okuzimele ngempilo kuhlala kungashintshile iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-40?
Kuthiwani uma yonke imizamo yokuthola injabulo ingumzamo oyize wokubhukuda ngokumelene nesimo samanje, ngoba empeleni sihlelelwe ukuhlala singajabule isikhathi esiningi?
Ayikwazi ukuthola yonke into
Ingxenye yenkinga ukuthi injabulo ayiyona into eyodwa. Imbongi nesazi sefilosofi uJennifer Hecht uphakamisa encwadini ethi The Happiness Myth ukuthi sonke sithola izinhlobo ezahlukene zenjabulo, kodwa aziphelelisi. Ezinye izinhlobo zenjabulo zingase zingqubuzane.
Ngamanye amazwi, uma sijabule kakhulu entweni eyodwa, kusincisha ithuba lokuthola injabulo ephelele kwenye into, okwesithathu ... Akunakwenzeka ukuthola zonke izinhlobo zenjabulo ngesikhathi esisodwa, ikakhulukazi ngobuningi.
Uma izinga lenjabulo likhuphuka endaweni ethile, khona-ke ngokuqinisekile liyancipha kwenye.
Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngokuphila okwanelisa ngokuphelele, nokuvumelana, okusekelwe emsebenzini ophumelelayo nomshado omuhle. Lena injabulo eyembulwa isikhathi eside, ayicaci ngokushesha. Kudinga umsebenzi omningi kanye nokwenqatshwa okuthile kokuzijabulisa kwesikhashana, njengamaphathi avamile noma ukuhamba okuzenzakalelayo. Kusho futhi ukuthi awukwazi ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi uhlezi nabangane.
Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma ugxila kakhulu emsebenzini wakho, zonke ezinye izinjabulo ekuphileni ziyolibaleka. Uma izinga lenjabulo likhuphuka endaweni ethile, khona-ke ngokuqinisekile liyancipha kwenye.
Isikhathi esidlule esimnandi nekusasa eligcwele amathuba
Le nkinga ihlanganiswa nendlela ubuchopho obusebenza ngayo imizwa yenjabulo. Isibonelo esilula. Khumbula ukuthi siwuqala kaningi kangakanani umusho ngegama elithi: “Kungaba kuhle uma ... (ngizoya ekolishi, ngithole umsebenzi omuhle, ngishade, njll.).” Abantu abadala baqala umusho ngamagama ahluke kancane: “Impela, bekukuhle uma…”
Cabanga ukuthi akuvamile kangakanani ukukhuluma ngalesi sikhathi samanje: “Kuhle ukuthi njengamanje…” Yebo, inkathi edlule nekusasa azihlali zingcono kunesamanje, kodwa siyaqhubeka nokucabanga kanjalo.
Lezi zinkolelo zivimba ingxenye yengqondo egcwele imicabango yenjabulo. Zonke izinkolo zakhiwe ngazo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sikhuluma nge-Edene (lapho konke kwakukuhle kakhulu!) Noma injabulo engenakucatshangwa ethenjisiwe epharadesi, i-Valhalla noma i-Vaikuntha, injabulo yaphakade ihlale isanqante elenga ku-wand yomlingo.
Sikhiqiza futhi sikhumbule ulwazi olujabulisayo lwakudala kangcono kunokungajabulisi
Kungani ubuchopho busebenza ngendlela obusebenza ngayo? Abaningi banethemba ngokweqile - sivame ukucabanga ukuthi ikusasa lizoba ngcono kunesimanje.
Ukuze ubonise lesi sici kubafundi, ngibatshela ekuqaleni kwesemester entsha ukuthi isilinganiso samaphuzu esiwatholile abafundi bami eminyakeni emithathu edlule. Bese ngibacela ukuthi babike ngokungaziwa ukuthi yiliphi ibanga bona bona abalindele ukulithola. Umphumela uyafana: amamaki alindelekile ahlala ephakeme kakhulu kunalokho okungalindelwe noma yimuphi umfundi. Sikholelwa kakhulu kokuhle kakhulu.
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo kwengqondo zihlonze into abayibiza ngokuthi isimiso se-Pollyanna. Igama libolekwe esihlokweni sencwadi yombhali wezingane waseMelika u-Eleanor Porter "Pollyanna", eyanyatheliswa ngo-1913.
Ingqikithi yalo mgomo ukuthi sikhiqiza futhi sikhumbule ulwazi olujabulisayo lwesikhathi esidlule kangcono kunolwazi olungajabulisi. Okuhlukile ngabantu abathambekele ekucindezelekeni: ngokuvamile bagxila ekuhlulekeni nasekudumaleni okudlule. Kodwa abaningi bagxila ezintweni ezinhle futhi bakhohlwe ngokushesha izinkinga zansuku zonke. Yingakho izinsuku zakudala zibukeka zizinhle kakhulu.
Ukuzikhohlisa njengenzuzo yokuziphendukela kwemvelo?
Le mibono mayelana nesikhathi esedlule nekusasa isiza i-psyche ukuxazulula umsebenzi obalulekile wokuzivumelanisa nezimo: ukuzikhohlisa okunjalo okungenacala empeleni kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale ugxile esikhathini esizayo. Uma okwedlule kukuhle, khona-ke ikusasa lingaba ngcono nakakhulu, futhi-ke kufanelekile ukwenza umzamo, ukusebenza kancane futhi uphume kokungajabulisi (noma, ake sithi, okujwayelekile) okwamanje.
Konke lokhu kuchaza ukudlula kwenjabulo. Sekuyisikhathi eside abacwaningi bemizwa bekwazi lokho okubizwa ngokuthi i-hedonic treadmill. Sisebenza kanzima ukuze sifinyelele umgomo futhi sibheke phambili enjabulweni ezoyilethwa. Kodwa, maye, ngemva kwesixazululo sesikhashana senkinga, sishelela ngokushesha sibuyele ezingeni lokuqala (lokunganeliseki) ngobukhona bethu obuvamile, ukuze sixoshe iphupho elisha, okuyinto - manje ngokuqinisekile - elizosenza ngijabule.
Abafundi bami bayacasuka lapho ngikhuluma ngakho. Bayahluleka ukuzibamba uma ngibatshela ukuthi eminyakeni engu-20 bazobe bejabule ngendlela abajabule ngayo manje. Ekilasini elilandelayo, bangase bakhuthazwe yiqiniso lokuthi esikhathini esizayo bayokhumbula ngokulangazelela indlela ababejabule ngayo ekolishi.
Izehlakalo ezibalulekile azilithinti kakhulu izinga lethu lokwaneliseka empilweni ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, ucwaningo lwabawine ilotho enkulu nabanye abadlali bamaflaya aphakeme—labo asebebonakala benakho konke—luyabalula ngezikhathi ezithile njengeshawa ebandayo. Basusa umbono oyiphutha wokuthi thina, lapho sesikutholile esikufunayo, singakushintsha ngempela ukuphila futhi sijabule kakhudlwana.
Lolu cwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi noma isiphi isenzakalo esibalulekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sijabulile (ukuwina izigidi zamaRandi) noma esidabukisayo (izinkinga zempilo ezibangelwa ingozi), akuthinti ngokuphawulekayo ukwaneliseka kwempilo yesikhathi eside.
Uthisha omkhulu onephupho lokuba uprofesa nabameli abanephupho lokuba ozakwabo kwezamabhizinisi uvame ukuzithola ezibuza ukuthi bebejahe kuphi.
Ngemva kokubhala nokunyathelisa le ncwadi, ngazizwa ngikhungathekile: Ngacindezelwa indlela umoya wami wenjabulo owawushesha ngayo “Ngabhala incwadi!” kushintshelwe ekucindezelekeni "Ngabhala incwadi eyodwa kuphela."
Kodwa kufanele kube njalo, okungenani ngokombono wokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Ukunganeliseki ngesimanje namaphupho ekusasa yikona okukugcina unomdlandla wokuqhubekela phambili. Nakuba izinkumbulo ezifudumele zesikhathi esidlule zisiqinisekisa ukuthi imizwa esiyifunayo iyatholakala kithi, sesivele siyizwile.
Eqinisweni, injabulo engapheli nengapheli ingabukela phansi ngokuphelele isifiso sethu sokwenza, ukuzuza nokuqeda noma yini. Ngikholelwa ukuthi labo okhokho bethu ababeneliseke ngokuphelele ngakho konke basheshe badlula izihlobo zabo kukho konke.
Akungikhathazi, ngokuphambene nalokho. Ukuqaphela ukuthi injabulo ikhona, kodwa ibonakala ekuphileni njengesivakashi esikahle esingakusebenzisi kabi ukungenisa izihambi, kusiza ukwazisa ukuvakasha kwaso kwesikhashana nakakhulu. Futhi ukuqonda ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuthola injabulo kukho konke futhi ngesikhathi esisodwa, kukuvumela ukuba ujabulele lezo zindawo zokuphila eziye zathinta.
Akekho owayezothola konke ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ngokuvuma lokhu, uzosusa umuzwa wokuthi, njengoba izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo sezaziwa kudala, uphazamisa kakhulu injabulo - umona.
Mayelana nombhali: UFrank McAndrew uyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezenhlalo kanye noSolwazi Wezengqondo e-Knox College, e-USA.