Qonda noma wenze

Umuntu uqhamuke phezu kwetafula. Ungathatha i-rag usule itafula, noma esikhundleni salokho ungacabanga ukuthi uvelaphi. Esokuqala sinengqondo, esesibili siyisiphukuphuku.​​​⁠Kuhlale kukhona abantu abangathandi ukudala izinkinga kusukela ekuqaleni futhi abakulungele ukuthatha isinyathelo ngokushesha, kodwa kukhona labo okuthi, esikhundleni sokwenza okudingekayo. ngaso leso sikhathi, qala isikhathi eside uhlaziye futhi uqonde.

Qonda noma wenze - amasu amabili aphikisanayo.

Ngokweqile, konke kucacile: okokuqala udinga ukuqonda, bese - ukwenza. Eqinisweni, ukuthola ibhalansi efanele kunzima kakhulu, futhi ukukhethwa kwesu kuthonywa kokubili imiqondo yethiyori kanye nohlobo lobuntu beklayenti noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.

Ngokuqondene nohlobo lobuntu, kunabantu abanamathela “ekucabangeni” futhi abasuki esenzweni nganoma iyiphi indlela (ukushintshela esenzweni ngokubambezeleka okukhulu futhi hhayi isikhathi eside). Asiwabize ngokuthi «amabhuleki». Kunalokho, kunezibonelo eziphambene, lapho abantu bejahile ukwenza ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuthi yini edingekayo ngempela ... Babizwa ngokuthi "ngokushesha".

"Amabhuleki" ahlanganisa izinhlobo zobuntu ezifana nohlobo lwe-anxious-responsible kanye ne-asthenic. U-Hasty "ungumuntu onethemba elijabulisayo" (hyperthym), ngezinye izikhathi odidekile, ongakwazi ukuhlala alinde, ohlale edinga ukwenza okuthile. Bona →

Kwenzeka ukuthi isicelo esithi "Ngifuna ukuziqonda mina" sifihla esinye isicelo, isibonelo, ngikhulule i-alamu.

Lokhu kuvame ukubonakala amantombazane: uma intombazane "ithola", ngokuvamile izizwa ingcono. Okungukuthi, isicelo sangempela kwaba «ukususa ukukhathazeka», futhi ithuluzi esetshenziswa kwaba «nikeza incazelo epholile».

Kodwa kaningi, umbuzo othi "Ngifuna ukuziqonda mina" uhlanganisa izifiso ezimbalwa ezijwayelekile: isifiso sokuba phakathi kokunakwa, isifiso sokuzisola, isifiso sokuthola okuthile okuchaza ukwehluleka kwami ​​- futhi, ekugcineni, isifiso sokuxazulula izinkinga zami, akukho lutho ngalokhu angenzi ngempela. Amaklayenti abuza lo mbuzo ngokuvamile acabanga ukuthi kudingeka aqonde okuthile ngawo, ngemva kwalokho ukuphila kwawo kuzoba ngcono. Babonakala bekhangwa uzibuthe kuleli phupho lobuntwana: ukuthola Ukhiye Wegolide, ozobavulela Umnyango Womlingo. Thola Incazelo ezobaxazululela zonke izinkinga zabo. Bona →

Ukukhethwa kwesu "lokuqonda" noma "ukwenza" ekusebenzeni namakhasimende akuxhomekile kuphela ohlotsheni lobuntu, kodwa futhi nomqondo wokuthi isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sinamathela kuwo. Ngokubheka umsebenzi wezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, kulula ukuwahlukanisa amakamu amabili: lawo achaza kabanzi, nalawo aphusha esenzweni. Uma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sinaka kakhudlwana ekuchazeni nasekuqondeni izimbangela zezinkinga zamakhasimende, udonsa kakhulu ku-psychotherapy, futhi eduze kwakhe kuzoba khona abantu abanentshisekelo yokuqonda kunokwenza (bona →).

Kubo, ukubaluleka kokuqonda kukhulu. “Kungani uzolalela lokhu, akucaci ukuthi wenzeni ngalokhu?” "Ngizolalela ukuze ngiqonde." Ukuqonda kusiza ukwamukela, kududuze, kuletha ukuthula emphefumulweni.

Uma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, ekusebenzeni neklayenti noma abahlanganyeli, sinake kakhulu lokho abahlanganyeli abazokwenza, sibeka imisebenzi eminingi kubo, sibaphushele esenzweni - umsebenzi onjalo cishe awuwona owe-psychotherapeutic, kodwa ngefomethi ye-psychology enempilo. Bona →

Ake sibheke izibonelo zokuthi lokhu noma leyo fomethi yomsebenzi wengqondo ihluke kanjani.

Umuntu udonswa ukuphikisa

Ake sithi umuntu uhlale ekhangwa. Kungenzeka, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kudingekile, ukubuza umbuzo: yini ebangela lokhu? Cishe, impendulo izoba: umkhuba noma ukuphila ngokungazi (izinzuzo zangaphakathi, amadrayivu aqulekile) ... Into ekhona yokuthile, ukwanelisa izidingo ezithile ezijulile. Umbuzo: bhekana nezimbangela noma vele ukwazi kahle Ingqikithi YEBO?

I-psychotherapist iyaqiniseka ukuthi kuze kube yilapho sibhekana nokuphila kwethu engazi lutho, umuntu ngeke akwazi ukufunda kabusha, kunalokho ubuthakathaka, futhi lezi zivimbelo nezithiyo zinkulu. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo-umqeqeshi kunalokho ukholelwa ukuthi kukhiqiza kakhulu ukutadisha, ukuqhubekela phambili, nokungaqondi ukuthi yikuphi okulula ukumba kukho.

Kukhona ibutho, ibutho lesigidi, isitha sinqotshiwe, kodwa imibiko yezobunhloli ibika ukuthi abashisekeli ababili basala ngemuva. Ngabe sizomisa amasosha noma lezi zishoshovu zizozibhubhisa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi?

Ibutho elima ukuze libhekane nazo zonke izishoshovu ezibambeke ngemuva liyanqotshwa ngokushesha. Nakuba unamandla, qhubeka. Gxila kwezemfundo, hhayi ekwelapheni. Uma uhlakaniphile futhi unomdlandla, ungakwenza. Bonke abantu abanempilo benza kahle. Uyagula?

Lapha umqeqeshi une-herpes emlonyeni wakhe - kufanele akhansele ukuqeqeshwa, ayokwelashwa? Hhayi-ke. Ingena indlela kancane, kodwa ungayiziba.

Vula ukuthinta

Uma umuntu evaliwe, kodwa eqala ukwenza izenzo ezivulekile: yini emlindele? — Akwaziwa. Uma ehlale ngaphakathi kwemibono nezinkolelo zakhe zangaphambili, uma engasangabazi ukuthi abantu abanakwethenjwa, khona-ke ukushukuma komzimba kuyoba ukukhohlisa nokuzikhohlisa. Uma efuna ukushiya ukusondelana kwakhe, ufuna ubudlelwano obusha nabantu, khona-ke ukuthinta kwakhe ekuqaleni ngeke kuhambisane ngokuphelele naye, ngeke kube okwakhe - kodwa okwesikhashana. Kuzodlula inyanga noma izinyanga eziyisithupha, futhi izenzo zakhe ezivulekile zizoba qotho futhi zibe ngokwemvelo. Umuntu useshintshile.

Isibonelo sokubonisana

- UNikolai Ivanovich, ngicela ungitshele, kaningi abantu baqala ukuthatha isikhundla esisebenzayo empilweni, benze izinqumo zabo ngesibindi ngemuva kokuba iqhude eligazingiwe seliqhume. Iyini le mishini, kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Bona ukubhekana nezizathu noma wenze