Okuqukethwe
Ukuhlala kamnandi nozakwethu oyedwa akuwona umsebenzi olula. Kufanele sisondele kumuntu obonayo, ozizwayo nowenza ngendlela ehlukile. Singaphansi kwengcindezi yemvelo, isipiliyoni sabazali nabezindaba. Ubudlelwano buyinkundla yabantu ababili, ungakwazi ukwephula imithetho nemigomo uma nobabili nikufuna. Kusukela ebuntwaneni, safundiswa ukuthi akulungile ukulungisa izinto, abashadile kufanele benze yonke into ndawonye futhi basizane. Sekuyisikhathi sokugqashula ama-stereotypes.
Imibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye isikhathi eside akufanele nje ibekezelelane imibono nemikhuba ehlukene yomunye nomunye, kodwa futhi ivumelane nezinkambiso zomphakathi. Umqeqeshi uKaterina Kostoula ukholelwa ukuthi umuntu akufanele alandele imithetho ngobumpumputhe.
1. Ukuxabana kuhle
Ubudlelwano lapho ingekho indawo yezingxabano abuqinile futhi abuqotho. Uma ugcina imizwa yakho kuwena, awunalo ithuba lokushintsha noma yini. Ukulwa kunomphumela wokwelapha: kukusiza ukuthi ukhiphe intukuthelo yakho futhi ukhulume ngalokho ongakuthandi. Enkambweni yezingxabano, ufunda mayelana nezinhlungu zomunye nomunye, lokhu kukusiza ukuthi uqonde kangcono umlingani wakho, futhi ekugcineni kuba lula kuwo wonke umuntu. Ngokucindezela intukuthelo, wakha udonga phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho futhi wehlise amasosha akho omzimba.
Udinga ukuxabana, kodwa zama ukukwenza ngendlela ephucuzekile. Izingxoxo ezishisayo eziholela ezivumelwaneni ezinhle ziwusizo, akufanelekile ukulimazana.
2. Kwesinye isikhathi udinga ukwenza okuthandayo kuphela.
Uyafuna ukuqhubeka nokwenza umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa ongamjabulisi umlingani wakho? Uyafuna ukuchitha isikhathi nabangani, uthanda ukuba wedwa amahora ambalwa? Lokhu kuhle. Ukuzithanda kuzokusiza ukuthi uthande umlingani wakho kakhulu.
Izithakazelo zakho zomuntu ngamunye, ukuzimela kanye nokwehlukana komunye nomunye okwesikhashana kunesandla ekugcineni ilangabi lothando. Ukuqiniseka nokusondelana njalo kuqeda uthando. Zibalulekile kuphela ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.
Ukuhlala kude kunomthelela ekuthandeni ngoba abantu ngokuvamile bafuna lokho abangenakho.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Esther Perel, omunye wochwepheshe abadume kakhulu kwezobudlelwano, ubuze abantu uma bethola abalingani babo bekhanga kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, wathola izimpendulo ezilandelayo: lapho engekho, ephathini, lapho ematasa ngebhizinisi.
Ukugcina ibanga lakho kunomthelela ekukhangekeni ngoba ngokuvamile abantu bafuna lokho abangenakho njengamanje. Kudingeka sivikele ilungelo lethu lokuba ngabanye uma sifuna ukuhlala sikhanga uzakwethu, ngisho noma engafuni ukukukhulula kuye.
Kunesinye isizathu sokuthi kungani udinga ukuqhubeka nokwenza umsebenzi wakho: ukuzidela, uqongelela ukunganeliseki nokucasuka futhi uzizwe udabukile.
3. Asikho isidingo sokusizana njalo
Umlingani ufika ekhaya evela emsebenzini futhi ukhononda ngosuku olunzima. Ufuna ukusiza, ukunikeza iseluleko, zama ukwenza ngcono isimo. Kungcono ukuzama ukulalela, zama ukuqonda, ukubuza imibuzo. Umlingani cishe ungumuntu onolwazi, uzokwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zakhe. Konke akudingayo yikhono lakho lokulalela nokuqonda.
Uma ufuna ukwakha ubuhlobo obulinganayo, gwema indima yomsizi, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa emisebenzini yobungcweti yomlingani wakho. Kumele umsize umuntu wakho ezindabeni zakhe uma ekubuza.
Kwezinye izindawo, usizo lwakho luhlala ludingeka futhi ludingeka: imisebenzi yasekhaya nokukhulisa izingane. Geza izitsha, hamba nenja futhi wenze umsebenzi wesikole nendodana yakho kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka.