Iminyaka yokungaqiniseki: kungani kubalulekile ukudumisa intsha

Phakathi nenkathi yokuthomba, intsha ibhekana nenkinga yokungazethembi. Umhlaba uba yinkimbinkimbi ngokushesha, kuphakama imibuzo eminingi, futhi akuyona yonke enezimpendulo. Ubudlelwano obusha nontanga, izivunguvungu ze-hormonal, imizamo yokuqonda ukuthi "yini engiyifunayo ekuphileni?" - isikhala sibonakala sanda, kodwa asikho isipiliyoni esanele sokusiqonda kahle.

Ukuxhumana nabazali ngokwemvelo kuba buthaka, osemusha uqala ukushintshela emhlabeni wabantu abadala. Futhi lapha, ngamadoda nabesifazane abavuthiwe, abaphumelelayo, yonke into iba ngcono kakhulu kunaye. Ukuzethemba kwengane kukhasa phansi. Okufanele ngikwenze?

Ukuvimbela kuyisihluthulelo sokwelashwa okuphumelelayo

Ukubhekana nenkinga yokuthomba kulula uma izingane zikhuliswa endaweni enempilo ukuze zizethembe. Kusho ukuthini? Izidingo ziyabonwa, azishaywa indiva. Imizwa iyamukelwa, ayincishisiwe. Ngamanye amazwi, umntwana uyabona: ubalulekile, bayamlalela.

Ukuba umzali ocabangelayo akufani nokutotosa ingane. Lokhu kusho ukuzwelana nokuqondisisa kulokho okwenzekayo. Isifiso kanye nekhono labantu abadala ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani emphefumulweni wengane kubaluleke kakhulu ukuzethemba kwakhe.

Kungokufanayo nakwabasha: lapho abantu abadala bezama ukubaqonda, ukuzethemba kuyakhula. Ngokusekelwe kulesi simiso, kwabhalwa incwadi ethi «Communication». Umbhali, umeluleki omdala, uqhuba ingxoxo nezingane, uchaza futhi unikeze ukwenza izivivinyo, utshela izindaba ezivela ekuphileni. Ukuxhumana okuthembekile, noma okubonakalayo, kuyakhiwa.

Yimina okwaziyo futhi angesabi ukuzama

Inkinga yokungazethembi ukuntula ukholo kuwena, emandleni akho okufeza okuthile. Uma sivumela ingane ukuthi ithathe isinyathelo, siyamqinisekisa emcabangweni othi: "Ngenza futhi ngithole impendulo kwabanye."

Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukudumisa izingane: ukuhlangabezana nezinyathelo zokuqala ngokugona, ukuncoma imidwebo, ukujabula ngisho nempumelelo yezemidlalo encane kanye nesihlanu. Ngakho-ke ukuzethemba "Ngingakwazi, kodwa akwethusi ukuzama" kubekwe enganeni ngokungazi, njengohlelo oselulungile.

Uma ubona ukuthi indodana noma indodakazi inamahloni futhi iyangabaza, bakhumbuze ngamakhono abo kanye nokunqoba kwabo. Wesaba ukukhuluma phambi kwabantu? Futhi kwakukuhle kangakanani ukufunda izinkondlo ngamaholide omndeni. Ugwema ofunda nabo esikoleni esisha? Futhi eholidini lasehlobo, ngokushesha wathola abangane. Lokhu kuzokwandisa ukuzazi kwengane, kuqinise ukuzethemba kwakhe ukuthi empeleni angakwazi ukwenza konke - wavele wakhohlwa kancane.

Ithemba likhulu kakhulu

Okubi kakhulu okungase kwehlele osemusha ukulindela okungenasisekelo kwabazali. Omama nobaba abaningi ngenxa yothando olukhulu bafuna ingane yabo ibe engcono kakhulu. Futhi baphatheka kabi uma kukhona okungahambi kahle.

Futhi-ke isimo siphindaphinda ngokuphindaphindiwe: ukuzethemba okuthuthumelayo akuvumeli ukuthatha isinyathelo (akukho kulungiselelwa "Ngingakwazi, kodwa akusabi ukuzama"), abazali bayacasuka, insizwa inomuzwa wokuthi akuzange kufeze okwakulindelwe, ukuzethemba kwehla ngisho nangaphezulu.

Kodwa ukuwa kungamiswa. Zama ukungenzi imibono enganeni okungenani amasonto ambalwa. Kunzima, kunzima kakhulu, kodwa umphumela uwufanele.

Gxila kokuhle, ungasheshi ukudumisa. Amaviki amabili anele ukuze kuvele ukuphuka, isikhundla esithi "Ngingakwazi" sakhiwe enganeni. Kodwa angakwazi ngempela, akunjalo?

Olwandle lwamathuba

Intsha inkathi yokuhlola umhlaba ngenkuthalo. Okungaziwa kuyethusa, okuthi “ngingakwazi” kuthathelwe indawo ngokuthi “ngingakwazi?” nokuthi "ngingenzenjani". Lesi yisikhathi esijabulisa kakhulu, futhi kubalulekile ukuthi kube khona umeluleki omdala eduze, umuntu ozokusiza ukuthi uhambe.

Kanye nengane yakho, bheka izinkomba ezithakazelisayo, ake uzizame ezindaweni ezihlukahlukene, "ukunambitha" ubuchwepheshe. Nikeza imisebenzi ukuze uzuze imali: thayipha umbhalo, yiba umthumeli. Ukuzethemba - ukungabi khona kokwesaba isenzo, bese ufundisa osemusha ukwenza.

Cabanga ngabantu abayishumi othanda ukukhuluma nabo. Mhlawumbe omunye wabo kuyoba ugqozi izingane zakho? Udokotela opholile, umklami onekhono, i-barista ephisa ikhofi elihle kakhulu.

Bameme futhi ubavumele bakhulume ngalokho abakwenzayo. Umuntu nakanjani uzoba ku-wavelength efanayo nengane, kukhona okuzombamba. Futhi kuhle uma umngane osekhulile evela emndenini, uchwepheshe kulo mkhakha onentshisekelo yentsha.

Thatha ipensela

Siqoqa indlovu ibe yizicucu, nendlu ngezitini. Encwadini, intsha inikezwa umsebenzi we-Wheel of Interests. Kungaba ikholaji, isihlahla semigomo — noma iyiphi ifomethi elungele ukurekhoda izimpumelelo zakho.

Kubalulekile ukubhekisela kuyo nsuku zonke, ukuqinisa umkhuba wokuqaphela izinyathelo ezincane kodwa ezibalulekile endleleni eya kulokho okufunayo. Umsebenzi oyinhloko womkhuba uwukwenza isimo sangaphakathi sokuthi "ngingakwazi" enganeni.

Kubazali, lesi esinye isizathu sokwazi kangcono izingane zabo. Bamba iqhaza ekudaleni ikholaji. Isikhungo sokuqanjwa yintsha uqobo. Ngokuhlangene, izungeze ngeziqeshana, izithombe, izingcaphuno ezibonisa izithakazelo nezifiso zengane.

Inqubo ihlanganisa umndeni ndawonye futhi isiza ukuthola ukuthi yiziphi izinto zokuzilibazisa amalungu amancane anazo. Kungani ibaluleke kangaka? Ukuzethemba kwakhelwe ezintweni zokuzilibazisa kanye nokuthambekela kokudala. Fundisa ingane yakho ukugubha impumelelo ezindaweni ezikhethiwe nsuku zonke.

Isikhathi sokuqala (amaviki angu-5-6) nenze ndawonye. "Uthole isihloko esithakazelisayo", "wenza ukwazana okuwusizo" - isibonelo esihle sezimpumelelo zansuku zonke. Imisebenzi yasendlini, ukutadisha, ukuzithuthukisa — qaphela isigaba ngasinye somuntu siqu «imephu». Ukuqiniseka ukuthi «ngingakwazi» kuzokwakhiwa enganeni physiologically.

Kusukela esiqongweni sobuwula kuya ethafeni lokuzinza

Lo mkhuba usekelwe kulokho okubizwa ngokuthi umphumela we-Dunning-Kruger. Liyini iphuzu? Ngamafuphi: "Mama, awuqondi lutho." Ukuthola izici ezintsha zempilo, edakwe ulwazi, intsha (kanye nathi sonke) icabanga ukuthi iqonda yonke into kangcono kunabanye. Eqinisweni, ososayensi babiza lenkathi ngokuthi “Isiqongo Sobuwula.”

Ebhekene nokwehluleka kokuqala, umuntu udumazeka kakhulu. Abaningi bakuyeka abakuqalile - bacasukile, abakulungele ukubhekana nobunzima obungazelelwe. Nokho, impumelelo ilindele labo abangaphambuki endleleni.

Ukuqhubekela phambili, ukuqonda isihloko esikhethiwe ngokwengeziwe, umuntu ukhuphuka "emithambekeni Yokukhanya" futhi afinyelele "I-Plateau of Stability". Futhi lapho ulindele injabulo yolwazi, nokuzethemba okukhulu.

Kubalulekile ukwethula ingane ngomphumela we-Dunning-Kruger, ubone ngeso lengqondo ukunyuka nokwehla ephepheni, futhi unikeze izibonelo ezivela empilweni yakho. Lokhu kuzosindisa ukuzethemba kwentsha ekugxumeni futhi kukuvumele ukuthi ubhekane kangcono nezinkinga zempilo.

Ukuxhashazwa

Ngokuvamile amagalelo okuzethemba avela ngaphandle. Ubuxhwanguxhwangu buwumkhuba ojwayelekile esikoleni esiphakathi naphezulu. Cishe wonke umuntu uyahlaselwa, futhi angakwazi "ukulimaza inzwa" ngezizathu ezingalindelekile kakhulu.

Encwadini, izahluko ezingu-6 zinikezwe indlela yokubhekana neziqhwaga: indlela yokuzibeka phakathi kontanga, phendula amazwi ahlabayo futhi uphendule wena.

Kungani abafana abanokuzethemba okuphansi beyi-"tidbit" yama-hooligans? Basabela ngokuqinile ekucasukeni: baboshwe noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, banolaka. Yilokhu abephula umthetho abathembele kukho. Encwadini, sibhekisela ekuhlaselweni ngokuthi «izibuko ezihlanekezelayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubonakala kanjani kuzo: ngekhala elikhulu, izindlebe ezinjengendlovu, obukhulu, obuphansi, obuyisicaba - konke lokhu kuwukuhlanekezela, isibuko esihlanekezelwe esingahambisani neqiniso.

Ingaphakathi eliqinile elingaphakathi, ukuzethemba - "konke kuhamba kahle kimi" kuvumela ingane ukuthi inganaki abahlaseli noma iphendule kubo ngokuhlekisa.

Futhi sikweluleka ukuthi umelele iziqhwaga ezimeni eziwubuwula. Khumbula, ku-Harry Potter, uprofesa owesabekayo waboniswa ngengubo yowesifazane kanye nesigqoko sikagogo? Akunakwenzeka ukuthukuthela kumuntu onjalo - ungahleka kuphela.

Ukuzethemba nokuxhumana

Ake sithi kukhona ukuphikisana: ekhaya, osemusha uzwa ukuthi wenza kahle, kodwa akukho ukuqinisekiswa okunjalo phakathi kontanga. Obani okumele bakholwe?

Nweba amaqembu omphakathi lapho ingane itholakala khona. Makabheke izinkampani ezithakaselayo, aye emicimbini, amakhonsathi, azibandakanye emibuthanweni. Abafundi afunda nabo akufanele kube yindawo yakhe kuphela. Umhlaba mkhulu futhi wonke umuntu unendawo kuwo.

Thuthukisa amakhono okuxhumana engane yakho: ahlobene ngokuqondile nokuzethemba. Noma ubani owazi ukuvikela umbono wakhe, ukuthola ulimi oluvamile nabanye abantu, akakwazi ukungabaza amakhono akhe. Uyancokola, uyahlonishwa, uyathandwa.

Futhi okuphambene nalokho - lapho osemusha eqiniseka ngokwengeziwe, kuba lula ngaye ukuthi akhulume futhi enze abantu abasha abajwayele.

Abazali kufanele basekele izingane zabo. Uthando lwabazali luwumgogodla wobuntu obunempilo. Kodwa kuvele ukuthi uthando lulodwa alwanele. Ngaphandle kokuzethemba okuthuthukisiwe kwentsha, ngaphandle kwesimo sangaphakathi sokuthi "ngingakwazi", ukuzethemba, inqubo egcwele yentuthuko, ulwazi, amakhono ochwepheshe akunakwenzeka.

Ngokuzingabaza, ingane ifihla iqiniso: ivala, ingena emidlalweni, imicabango, indawo ebonakalayo. Kubalulekile ukuba nesithakazelo ezidingweni nasezidingweni zezingane, ukuphendula imizamo yabo, ukunakekela umoya emndenini.

Ndakha iqoqo lemigomo, bungaza izimpumelelo zansuku zonke, xwayisa ngobunzima obungaba khona kanye nokudumazeka. Njengoba isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseNorway uGyru Eijestad saphawula ngokufanelekile: “Ukuqonda kwezingane kuyavuthwa futhi kuqhakaze kuphela ngokusekelwa umuntu omdala.”