Okuqukethwe
“Indodakazi yami yayicabanga ukuthi sazalwa simhlophe nokuthi sakhula sabamnyama ...”
Ubufakazi bukaMaryam, 42, noPaloma, 10
Ngathatha uPaloma ngemva kokushona komzala wami. UPaloma wabe esengaphezudlwana kweminyaka emi-3 ubudala. Lapho esemncane, wayecabanga ukuthi uzalwa umhlophe futhi wakhula waba mnyama. Wayeqinisekile ukuthi isikhumba sakhe sizobukeka njengesami kamuva. Wadumala lapho ngimchazela ukuthi kwakungenjalo ngempela. Ngamtshela ngokungahambi kahle, abazali bami, umndeni wethu, umlando wakhe. Wayekuqonda kahle kakhulu. Wangitshela ngelinye ilanga "Ngingaba mhlophe ngaphandle, kodwa ngimnyama enhliziyweni yami." Muva nje, ungitshele ukuthi “okubalulekile yilokho okusenhliziyweni”. Ayinakuvinjwa !
Njengawo wonke amantombazane amancane, ufuna lokho angenakho. I-Paloma inezinwele eziqondile namaphupho okuba nama-braids, izengezo, izinwele ezikhukhumezayo "njengefu", njengezinwele ze-afro enganginazo isikhashana. Uthola ikhala lami lihle kakhulu. Ngendlela yakhe yokukhuluma, ekukhulumeni kwakhe, ufana kakhulu nami. Ehlobo, wonke eshukiwe, simthatha siye ezinhlangeni ezixubile futhi akuvamile ukuthi abantu bacabange ukuthi uyindodakazi yami yokuzalwa!
Sazinza eMarseille lapho ngafuna khona isikole esivumelana nezidingo zaso, umlando waso onzima. Usesikoleni esinokwehlukahlukana okukhulu okusebenzisa i-Freinet pedagogy, ngokufunda okuvumelana nengane ngayinye, ngamakilasi ahlelwa ngamaleveli amabili, lapho izingane zinikwa amandla, zifunda ngokuzimela futhi nangejubane lazo. . Ihambisana nemfundo engimnika yona futhi ingihlanganisa nesikole, engangikuzonda ngokwami. Konke kuhamba kahle impela, unezingane eziqhamuka ezindaweni ezahlukene. Kodwa ngimlungiselela kancane ukuya ekolishi, imibuzo engase ibuzwe kuye, ukuzindla angakwazi ukukuzwa.
Kunezinkulumo eziningi mayelana nokucwasa, mayelana nokuthi ibala lesikhumba linganquma kanjani ukuthi umuntu uzophathwa kanjani. Ngimtshela ukuthi njengomama omnyama, mhlawumbe ngizobhekwa ngenye indlela. Sikhuluma ngayo yonke into, ubukoloniyali, uGeorge Floyd, i-ecology… Kimina, kubalulekile ukumchazela yonke into, akukho ukungabaza. Engibhekana nakho noPaloma kuhluke kakhulu kulokho engabhekana nakho nomama wami omhlophe. Kwakufanele aye phambili ngaso sonke isikhathi, angivikele, abhekane nemicabango yobandlululo. Namuhla, angazi noma kungenxa yokuthi uPaloma unesikhumba esilula, uma kuyizinyawo zami eziyisithupha kanye nekhanda lami eliphuciwe elikuphoqayo, okuyala inhlonipho, uma kungenxa yokuhlukahluka kweMarseille, kodwa kuhamba kahle kakhulu. “
“Ngibona sengathi kulula ezinganeni zami uma ngiqhathanisa nalokho engabhekana nakho ngiseyingane. “
Ubufakazi bukaPierre, oneminyaka engama-37 ubudala, uyise kaLino, oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala, uNuma, oneminyaka engu-10 noRita, oneminyaka engu-8 ubudala.
Lapho ngiseyingane, kwakuhlale kucatshangwa ukuthi ngatholwa njengengane yokutholwa. Kwakudingeka njalo ukuchaza ukuthi ngempela ngangiyindodana kababa, ngoba emhlophe. Lapho siyothenga ndawonye, ubaba kwadingeka athethelele ukuba khona kwami ngokuthi ngimphelezele. Kwakungavamile ukuthi abantu bangilandele esitolo noma babukeke bebuza. Lapho siya eBrazil, lapho umama avela khona, ubaba kwadingeka aphinde abonise umzali wethu. Kwakukhandla. Ngakhulela endaweni ecebile, engaxubile ngempela. Ngokuvamile kwakuyimina ngedwa omnyama esikoleni. Ngezwa amazwi amaningi ahambisana nomngcele, abhalwe ukuthi “oh kodwa wena, akufani”. Ngangihlukile futhi la mazwi kufanele athathwe njengokuncoma. Ngivame ukusho, ngokuncokola, ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi ngiba nombono wokuthi "ngingumbumbulu", omhlophe emzimbeni omnyama.
Nginombono wokuthi kuhlukile ezinganeni zami, ama-blondes amathathu amancane! Akukho okuningi kakhulu lokhu kucatshangwa kokutholwa kulowo mqondo. Abantu bangase bamangale, bangase bafane nokuthi “hey, ababukeki ngokufana”, kodwa kunjalo. Empeleni ngizwa ukubukeka kwelukuluku lapho sindawonye endaweni yokudlela eseceleni komgwaqo futhi omunye wabo engibiza ngokuthi baba. Kodwa kunalokho kungenza ngihleke. Futhi ngiyayidlala futhi: Ngafunda ukuthi indodana yami endala yayihlushwa esikoleni. Ngahamba ngayomlanda ngelinye ilanga ngiphuma ekolishi. Nge-afro yami, ama-tattoos ami, izindandatho zami, kwaba nomthelela wako. Kusukela lapho, izingane zamshiya yedwa. Futhi muva nje, uLino wangitshela, lapho ngiyomlanda edamini lokubhukuda: “Ngiqinisekile ukuthi bakuthatha njengomsebenzi wami wasendlini noma umshayeli wami”. Okusikiselwayo: lezi zihlakaniphi zobandlululo. Angizange ngiphendule kakhulu ngaleso sikhathi, uyaqala ngqa ukungitshela into efana nalena, kwangimangaza. Kumelwe ezwe izinto esikoleni noma kwenye indawo futhi kungase kube isihloko, into emkhathazayo.
Ezinye izingane zami ezimbili ziyaqiniseka ukuthi ziyizinhlanga ezixubile, njengami, kuyilapho zimhlophe futhi zilungile! Bahlotshaniswa ngokujulile nesiko laseBrazil, bafuna ukukhuluma isiPutukezi futhi bachithe isikhathi sabo bedansa, ikakhulukazi indodakazi yami. Kubo, iBrazil iyiCarnival, umculo, umdanso ngaso sonke isikhathi. Abanaphutha neze… Ikakhulukazi njengoba bejwayele ukubona umama edansa yonke indawo, ngisho nasekhishini. Ngakho ngizama ukudlulisela lelifa eliphindwe kabili kubo, ukubafundisa isiPutukezi. Bekufanele siye eBrazil kuleli hlobo, kodwa ubhubhane seludlule lapho. Lolu hambo luhlala lusohlelweni. “
“Kwadingeka ngifunde indlela yokwenza izinwele zendodakazi yami. “
Ubufakazi bukaFrédérique, oneminyaka engama-46, umama kaFleur, oneminyaka eyi-13.
Sengihlale eLondon iminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabili, futhi uFleur wazalelwa khona. Uxube uhlanga lukayise ongumNgisi nesiScottish, odabuka eCaribbean, waseSaint Lucia. Ngakho kwadingeka ngifunde indlela yokwenza izinwele zemvelo zentombazanyana yami. Akulula ! Ekuqaleni, ngahlola imikhiqizo ukuze ngiyondle futhi ngiyihlukanise, imikhiqizo eyayingahlale ifaneleka kakhulu. Ngacela iseluleko kubangani bami abamnyama, ngaphinde ngabheka ezitolo ezingongoti endaweni yangakithi ukuze ngithole ukuthi yimiphi imikhiqizo engizoyisebenzisa kulezi zinwele. Futhi ngiyavuma, kwadingeka ngithuthuke, njengabazali abaningi. Namuhla, unemikhuba yakhe, imikhiqizo yakhe futhi uzenzela izinwele zakhe yedwa.
Sihlala esifundeni saseLondon lapho kunengxubevange enkulu yamasiko nezinkolo. Isikole sikaFleur sixube kakhulu, ngokwenhlalo namasiko. Abangane abakhulu bendodakazi yami ngamaJapane, amaScottish, amaCaribbean kanye nesiNgisi. Badla komunye nomunye, bethola amakhono omunye nomunye. Angikaze ngizwe ukucwasa lapha endodakazini yami. Kungaba ngenxa yengxubevange yedolobha, indawo yangakithi noma umzamo owenziwayo, nasesikoleni. Unyaka ngamunye, ngesikhathi "Inyanga Yomlando Omnyama", abafundi bafunda, kusukela esikoleni samabanga aphansi ukuya phambili, ubugqila, imisebenzi kanye nempilo yababhali abamnyama, izingoma. Kulo nyaka, uMbuso WaseBrithani kanye namakoloni amaNgisi asohlelweni, isihloko esivukela indodakazi yami!
Ngenhlangano ethi “Black Lives Matter”, uFleur zanyakaziswa kakhulu yilezi zindaba. Wenze imidwebo ukweseka umnyakazo, uzizwa ekhathazekile. Sikhuluma ngayo kakhulu ekhaya, nomlingani wami naye, obambe iqhaza kakhulu kulezi zinkinga.
Kwakuphakathi nohambo lwethu lokubuyela naphambili eFrance lapho ngabona khona imicabango yobandlululo ngendodakazi yami, kodwa, ngenhlanhla, kwakuyinganekwane. Muva nje, uFleur washaqeka lapho ebona ekhaya lomndeni isithombe esikhulu somkhwenyana omnyama, osesimweni senceku, namagilavu amhlophe. Wangibuza ukuthi kuyinto evamile yini ukuba nalokhu ekhaya. Cha, akunjalo, futhi kwakuhlale kungicasula. Ngatshelwa ukuthi kwakungekona ngempela okunonya noma ukucwasa ngokwebala, ukuthi lolu hlobo lomhlobiso lwalungase lube semfashinini. Lena ingxabano engingakaze ngiyithole ikholisa kakhulu, kodwa angikakalokothi ngikhulume nesihloko. Mhlawumbe uFleur uzolokotha, kamuva…”
Ingxoxo kaSidonie Sigrist