Okuqukethwe
“Hhawu! Unjani? — Kuhle. Futhi unayo? - Akukho futhi». Kwabaningi, i-ping-pong enjalo yamazwi ibonakala ikha phezulu futhi inzima, kubonakala sengathi isetshenziswa kuphela uma kungekho okunye okungaxoxwa ngakho. Kodwa izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi inkulumo encane inezinzuzo zayo.
Lokhu kungaba isiqalo sobungane obuhle
Umkhuba wozakwethu ukuxoxa ngezinhlelo zangempelasonto ehhovisi nokucobelelana ngolwazi isikhathi eside emhlanganweni ungacasula. “Yeka inqwaba yabakhulumayo,” siyacabanga. Nokho, ngokuvamile kulula ukuxhumana okusihlanganisayo ekuqaleni, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uBernardo Carducci wase-Indiana University (USA).
“Zonke izindaba ezinhle zothando nabo bonke ubudlelwano obuhle bebhizinisi buqale ngale ndlela,” uyachaza. "Imfihlo ukuthi ngesikhathi sokungabalulekile, ekuqaleni, ingxoxo, asigcini nje ukushintshanisa ulwazi, kodwa sibukane, sihlole ulimi lomzimba, isigqi kanye nesitayela sokuxhumana somuntu oxhumana naye."
Ngokusho kochwepheshe, ngale ndlela thina - ngokuqaphela noma cha - sibheke eduze kwe-interlocutor, sihlola umhlabathi. "Owethu" ungumuntu noma cha? Ingabe kunengqondo ukuqhubeka nobuhlobo naye?
Yinhle empilweni
Ukukhulumisana okujulile, okuqotho kungenye yezinjabulo eziyinhloko zokuphila. Ingxoxo ephuma enhliziyweni nabathandekayo iyasikhuthaza futhi iyasisekela ezikhathini ezinzima. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kuhle ukuzizwa ujabule ngokuba nezwi elisheshayo nomuntu osebenza naye endlini ngenkathi ukwikheshi.
Zonke izindaba ezinhle zothando nobudlelwano bebhizinisi obuthela izithelo buqale ngezingxoxo "zesimo sezulu".
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Elizabeth Dunn wase-University of British Columbia (Canada) wenze ucwaningo ngamaqembu amabili amavolontiya okwakufanele achithe isikhathi esithile endaweni yokucima ukoma. Abahlanganyeli beqembu lokuqala kwadingeka baqale ingxoxo nomuntu othengisa utshwala, futhi abahlanganyeli beqembu lesibili kwadingeka baphuze ubhiya benze abakuthandayo. Imiphumela yabonisa ukuthi eqenjini lokuqala babebaningi ababenotshwala. isimo sengqondo esingcono ngemva kokuvakashela ibha.
Okuphawulwe ngu-Elizabeth Dunn kuhambisana nocwaningo lwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Andrew Steptoe, owathola ukuthi ukungakhulumisani lapho umuntu esemdala kwandisa ingozi yokufa. Futhi kulabo abaya njalo esontweni kanye namaqembu ezithakazelo, bahlanganyele ngenkuthalo empilweni yomphakathi, le ngozi, ngokuphambene nalokho, iyancipha.
Kusenza sicabangele abanye
Ngokuka-Elizabeth Dunn, labo abavame ukungena ezingxoxweni nabantu abangabazi noma abangabazi ngokuvamile bayasabela futhi banobungane. Bazizwa bexhumene nabanye futhi bahlale bekulungele ukusiza, bakhombise ukubamba iqhaza. UBernardo Carducci uyanezela ukuthi kunjalo impela, ekuqaleni, izingxoxo ezingenangqondo ezifaka isandla ekukhuleni kokuthembana emphakathini.
“Inkulumo encane iyinsika yenhlonipho,” uyachaza. “Uma ningena engxoxweni, niba ngumuntu ongamazi omunye komunye.”
Kuyasiza emsebenzini
URoberto Carducci uthi: “Ikhono lokuqala ukukhulumisana liyaziswa endaweni yochwepheshe. Ukufudumala ngaphambi kwezingxoxo ezibucayi kubonisa kwabaxoxisanayo intando yethu enhle, isimo sethu sengqondo kanye nokuzimisela kwethu ukubambisana.
Ikhono lokuqala ukuxhumana libaluleke kakhulu endaweni yobuchwepheshe
Iphimbo elingakahleleki akusho ukuthi uyaphapha, kusho u-Debra Fine, umxhumanisi webhizinisi nombhali wencwadi ethi The Great Art of Small Conversations.
Uyaxwayisa: “Ungawina isivumelwano, wenze isethulo, udayise izinhlelo zokusebenza eziphathwayo, kodwa kuze kube yilapho ufunda ukusizakala ngezingxoxo ezilula, ngeke wakhe ubungane obuhle bochwepheshe,” uyaxwayisa. "Ezinye izinto ziyalingana, sincamela ukwenza ibhizinisi nalabo esibathandayo."