Okuqukethwe
Kuyenzeka ukuthi abazali baphule izingane - izimpama, izimpama. Futhi konke ukuwohloka okukodwa kuyinhlekelele encane lapho kokubili ingane nomuntu omdala bedinga usizo. Yini okudingeka uyazi ukuze ugweme ukuqhekeka? Sabelana ngokuzivocavoca okuzofundisa abazali ukubhekana nemizwa.
Ukubiza ngokwezigaba izimpama kanye nodlame lwezimpama bese uthi lokhu akwenzeki ukufaka icala nobuhlungu obuningi esimweni esinzima. Kungaba kanjani?
YEKA, ukungabi namandla! Kungaba ngenye indlela!
Imbangela yanoma yikuphi ukuhlukana kwabazali kunokuthile okubalulekile. Futhi ngokuvamile ukushaya nokuthuka - kusuka ekuphelelwe amandla. Lokhu kungukungabi namandla maqondana nobuntwana bomuntu siqu, ezinkambisweni nemithetho efundwa emndenini wabazali, ekuphileni ohlelweni lweSoviet lobushiqela. Kusukela kweyakho imizwa, ukukhathala, ukuminyana, izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe emsebenzini kanye nabathandekayo.
Futhi-ke, lokhu ukungabi namandla ezinyathelweni zemfundo. Abazali bakhuluma ngokuqondile ngalokhu: “Asinazo izibonelo zendlela yokukhulisa umuntu ofanelekayo ngaphandle kwebhande nama-flops.”
Ngesikhathi sokuphazamiseka, igagasi elinamandla lomzwelo limboza umama noma ubaba
Izindlela ezilula neziqine kakhulu zokuziphatha zivusa umzali, isibonelo, ukusabela okunolaka. Inikeza ukuphumula okuthile, futhi ngaleyo ndlela iphethini ilungisiwe. Ngokuwohloka ngakunye, uthola amandla engeziwe phezu komuntu.
Ukuzinqabela nje ukuklabalasa, ukushaya, ukushaya akwanele. Ukusabela kukhula kusuka ekujuleni, futhi lapho kudinga ukushintshwa. Ukwenza lokhu, kubalulekile ukwakha isu futhi ulisebenzise isinyathelo ngesinyathelo.
Isu lokushintshela ebudlelwaneni obuphephile nengane:
- Sebenza ngemizwa yakho kanye nesimo sakho sengqondo;
- Dala othintana naye ovikelekile;
- Fundisa ingane yakho ukulalela.
Sebenza ngemizwa yakho nesimo sakho sengqondo
Ukuqaphela imizwa yakho eyaholela ekuwohlokeni nokufunda ukuthi ungaphila kanjani ngokuzungezile imvelo kuwumsebenzi oyinhloko wokuzisebenzela wena kubazali. Empeleni, kumayelana nokufunda ukucabanga ngemizwa ngaleso sikhathi lapho ivela khona.
Imibuzo elandelayo izosiza kulokhu:
- Wazizwa kanjani ngesikhathi sokuhlukana? Intukuthelo? Rage? Ukucasuka? Ukungabi namandla?
- Le mizwa izibonakalise kanjani ezingeni lomzimba - ubufuna ukunyathela, ukunyakazisa izandla, ukuqukula izibhakela, ukukhulisa ukushaya kwenhliziyo yakho?
- Injani le mizwa? Kukuziphi ezinye izimo esikhathini samanje noma esikhathini esedlule lapho uhlangabezane khona nokusabela okufanayo - kuwena noma kwabanye abantu?
Kungcono ukugcina idayari bese uphendula le mibuzo ngokubhala.
Ekuqaleni, lokhu kuzoba ukuqoshwa ngemuva kokuphazamiseka, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uzofunda "ukubamba" imizwa yakho ngesikhathi senzeka ngayo. Leli khono linciphisa kakhulu izinga lokusabela.
Ngemuva kokuphelelwa amandla kwabazali ekuwohlokeni ngokuvamile kuvame ukuhlanganiswa kokukhathala kanye nezici zangaphakathi (izimo ezibuhlungu kusukela esikhathini esidlule, okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni, ukunganeliseki ngokuphila). Phumula kakhudlwana, zinakekele — iseluleko esivame kakhulu esinikezwa abangani nozakwenu. Yebo, kubalulekile, kodwa akugcini lapho.
Ukuzivocavoca kungasiza abazali abanezingane
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zinesibopho sokuthola ukwelashwa komuntu siqu. Lokhu kuyadingeka ukuze ungaphambanisi izindaba zeklayenti nezakho, ukuze wandise umbono wakho ngezinkinga, ugcine ibhalansi yangaphakathi lapho uhlangana nemizwelo enamandla yabanye abantu. Yini okufanele siyenze?
1. Vala ngokomzwelo izindaba ezingemnandi nezihlukumezayo ezivela empilweni yakho, kuhlanganisa nezasebuntwaneni
Kunezindlela ezahlukene zokuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokhu, kodwa umphumela uyafana - inkumbulo yomcimbi onzima uzoyeka "ukunamathela", kubangele izinyembezi nezimo ezinzima. Ungaxoxa indaba kumuntu oseduze, osekelayo ngokuphindaphindiwe. Noma bhala phansi imicabango nemizwa yakho kudayari, dweba. Kunezindlela eziningi zobuchwepheshe zokuphulukisa ukuhlukumezeka, ungaphendukela kuchwepheshe.
2. Funda ukubheka isimo eceleni
Kukhona ukuzivocavoca okukhethekile kwalokhu. Ngokwesibonelo, esitolo lapho ngokuvamile ucasulwa ulayini noma umthengisi wesifazane, zama ukucabanga ukuthi konke lokhu kwenzeka ku-TV. Ubuka indaba yezindaba nje. Zama ukungazibandakanyi, thola «induku yomlingo» - bala amachashazi kusithombe sangemuva, cabanga ngephethini phansi.
Ngemva kokuzijwayeza ezimweni ezilula, ungazama eziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Cabanga nje ukhala "Mama, ngifuna u-ayisikhilimu!" Futhi uhlelo lwe-TV. Ungavuli, thola isiphazamiso semizwa yakho.
3. Ukwazi ukumelana nemizwa enamandla yezingane
Ngizokunikeza isibonelo. Yazinwaya idolo ingane ikhala, iphatheke kabi kakhulu, kubuhlungu. Umama naye ucasukile futhi uyesaba, ufuna ukuthulisa ingane ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka futhi athi: “Ungakhali, kuphelile! Nawa uswidi wakho!» Ngenxa yalokho, ingane idla uswidi, wonke umuntu uzolile.
Nokho, bobabili ingane nomama bakugwema ngokuphepha ukuthintana nemizwa yabo.
Nesinye isibonelo. Ingane efanayo, idolo elifanayo. Umama uthintana nemizwa yengane: “Yebo, usezinhlungwini futhi ucasukile, kodwa kwenzeka kanjena—ake ngikusize wehlise umoya, bese sizothenga ibhande lebhande futhi sikwelaphe idolo. .” Umama ubekezelela ubuhlungu nokucasuka kwengane futhi uyisize ibhekane nemizwa yayo, iqambe futhi iyamukele.
Ngokulandela lezi zincomo, uzokwazi ukuhlobana ngokuthula nezikhathi zokungalaleli, ukukhala, ukucasuka, ukukhononda, ukufunda ukugcina isimo sakho sangaphakathi, naphezu kokukhathala, futhi usize ngokuphumelelayo ingane ekuxazululeni izidingo zayo. Kungenzeka ukuthi wenze okuthile ngokwakho ngokucosha izincwadi nezindatshana. Izinkinga ezinzima Ikakhulukazi zixazululwa kangcono kanye nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somndeni.
Dala oxhumana naye ovikelekile
Ithiyori yokunamathisela ifakazela ukuthi ingane idinga ukuziphatha komzali okungaguquki, lokhu kudala ukuvikeleka kwangaphakathi, futhi kuzoba nokungabi namandla empilweni yakhe yabantu abadala.
Izijeziso zokungalaleli nokuzilibazisa okujabulisayo kufanele zibe ngamabomu futhi zingaguquguquki. Ngokwesibonelo, abazali bethula umthetho nezigwebo: “Uma ungalihlanzi igumbi, awudlali ikhonsoli.” Futhi isikhathi ngasinye kuyadingeka ukuqapha ukuqaliswa komthetho - ngokungaguquki. Uma ungaphumi kanye futhi kungekho unswinyo, lokhu akusafani.
Noma, isibonelo, kukhona isiko ngoMgqibelo ukuvakashela ugogo wakho ngedili elimnandi. Lokhu kwenzeka njalo ngoMgqibelo, ngaphandle kwasezimeni ezihlukile - njalo.
Kunjalo, ukuzijabulisa nezipho nakho kuyazenzekela - ngenjabulo. Futhi ngokungaguquki - ngokuphepha kwangaphakathi
Injabulo ebudlelwaneni nayo ibalulekile. Khumbula ukuthi yini othanda ukuyenza nengane yakho? Ukuzikhohlisa noma ukwanga? Wenza imisebenzi yezandla? Bukelani amafilimu ezemfundo ndawonye? Funda? Kwenze kaningi!
Ukuthembela emananini kuyasiza ekwakheni oxhumana naye ngokuqaphela. Cabanga ukuthi yiziphi izimiso eziyisisekelo zobuzali bakho - umndeni, ukunakekelwa noma injabulo? Yiziphi izenzo ongazisakaza ezinganeni?
Ngokwesibonelo, kuwena ukubaluleka komkhaya kuwukunakekelana. Ungazifundisa kanjani izingane zakho lokhu kunakekela? Yiqiniso, ngesibonelo sabo - ukuzinakekela, umlingani, abazali asebekhulile, ukusiza izinhlangano ezisiza umphakathi. Bese-ke isidlo sakusihlwa somndeni singabi umbuthano osemthethweni womndeni, kodwa indawo lapho izingane zifunda ukunakekela.
Fundisa ingane yakho ukulalela
Ngokuvamile isizathu sokuwohloka ukungalaleli kwezingane. Omunye umama wathi: “Izikhathi zokuqala ezimbalwa ngamtshela ngomoya ophansi ukuba angagibeli phezu kwekhabethe, ngabe sengimemeza izikhathi ezintathu, ngemva kwalokho kwadingeka ngimshaye!” Umama kulesi simo wayevele engazi ukuthi uzoyithonya kanjani indodana yakhe.
Ukulalela kuyikhono elibaluleke njengokukhuluma noma ukufunda. Phela, izingane zethu sifundisa izinto ezihlukahlukene eziwusizo futhi singacabangi ukuthi kufanele zikwazi ukwenza lokhu. Kodwa ngokuvamile asibafundisi ukulalela, kodwa ngokushesha sifune umphumela!
Indlela yokufundisa ingane ukulalela?
- Kancane kancane futhi ngokungaguquki ukwethula uhlelo lwemithetho nemiphumela.
- Ungafundisa ukulalela emdlalweni noma inganekwane — usebenzisa isibonelo samathoyizi noma abalingisi benganekwane, ungabonisa umsebenzi wemithetho nemiphumela.
- Ungathintana nochwepheshe ekulungiseni ukusebenzelana kwengane nomzali ukuze uthole izindlela ezichwepheshile zendlela yokufundisa ingane ikhono lokulalela.
Ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala sengathi ukungabi namandla akunakuhlukaniswa nokuba umzali. Ngempela, kunezimo lapho thina - abazali - singakwazi ukwenza lutho. Kodwa lokhu akusebenzi ekuhlulekeni kwethu, izinkinga ezinjalo zixazululeka ngokuphelele.