Okuqukethwe
Izimfihlo Zomama Wokulala, Izincwadi Zabazali
Usuku lwabesifazane lukhuluma ngezindlela ezimbili eziphambene kakhulu, kodwa ezidume kakhulu emhlabeni wonke, izindlela zokukhulisa izingane. Yikuphi okungcono, ukhetha.
Kwabaningi bethu, ukukhulisa izingane kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu empilweni, kepha imvamisa asikakulungeli lokho - okungenani hhayi esikoleni noma eyunivesithi. Ngakho-ke, abazali abazizwa benekhono kwezinye izindawo bazizwa bengavikelekile ekuphatheni nasekunakekeleni ingane. Bangathembela kumzwelo wabo wemvelo, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bazithola sebunobunzima: indlela yokunakekela ingane ngendlela enhle?
Indlela yokuqala - "fundisa ngokubuka" kusuka kuDeborah Solomon, umlandeli kaMagda Gerber odumile, ovule izikole zabazali emhlabeni jikelele. UDeborah encwadini yakhe ethi "The Kid Knows Best" unamathela ephuzwini elilula: ingane uqobo iyayazi ukuthi ikudingani. Kusukela ezinsukwini zokuqala zempilo yakhe ungumuntu. Futhi umsebenzi wabazali ukubuka ukukhula kwengane, ukuba nozwelo nokunaka, kepha hhayi ukungenela. Izingane (ngisho nezingane) zingenza lukhulu ngokwazo: ukuthuthukisa, ukuxhumana, ukuxazulula izinkinga zabo ezincane nokuzehlisa umoya. Futhi abadingi uthando oluqeda konke nokuvikelwa ngokweqile.
Indlela yesibili to Parenting from Tracy Hogg, isazi esidumile kwezokunakekelwa kwezingane ezisanda kuzalwa esidume umhlaba wonke "ngokuhlebela intsha". Usebenze nezingane zezinkanyezi zaseHollywood - uCindy Crawford, uJodie Foster, uJamie Lee Curtis. UTracy, encwadini yakhe ethi "Secrets of a Sleeping Mom," uthi okuphikisanayo kuyiqiniso: umntwana akakwazi ukuqonda lokho akudingayo. Kusezandleni zabazali ukuthi bamqondise futhi bamsize, ngisho noma emelana. Kuyadingeka ukuthi uchaze imingcele yengane noma isencane, uma kungenjalo kuzoba nezinkinga ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Manje ake sikhulume ngendlela ngayinye ngokuningiliziwe.
Imingcele, okujwayelekile nemodi yosuku
Abalandeli bendlela ye-Bring Up By Observation abawuboni umqondo wokujwayelekile ekukhuleni kwengane. Azinazi iziyalezo ezicacile ukuthi ingane kufanele igingqe ngasiphi iminyaka esiswini sayo, ihlale phansi, ikhase, ihambe. Ingane ingumuntu, okusho ukuthi ikhula ngejubane layo. Abazali kufanele banake lokho okwenziwa yingane yabo njengamanje, futhi bangayilinganisi noma bayiqhathanise nenkambiso engaqondakali. Ngakho-ke isimo esikhethekile enkambisweni yansuku zonke. UDeborah Solomon weluleka ukuthi abhekelele izidingo zengane futhi azenelise lapho kudingeka. Ubheka ukunamathela ngokungaboni enkambisweni yansuku zonke njengokuwubuwula.
UTracy HoggNgokuphambene nalokho, nginesiqiniseko sokuthi zonke izigaba zokukhula kwengane zingafakwa ohlakeni oluthile, futhi impilo yengane kufanele yakhiwe ngokulandela uhlelo oluqinile. Ukukhuliswa nokukhula kwengane kufanele kuthobele izinyathelo ezine ezilula: ukondla, ukusebenza, ukulala, isikhathi samahhala sikanina. Ukuhleleka kanjalo futhi nsuku zonke. Ukusungula indlela enjalo yokuphila akulula, kepha ngenxa yayo kuphela ungakhulisa kahle ingane, uTracy uqinisekile.
Ingane iyakhala futhi iyabathanda abazali
Abazali abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi badinga ukugijimela embhedeni womntwana ngokushesha okukhulu, kuphela yena wahayiza kancane. UTracy Hogg ithobela isikhundla esinjalo. Unesiqiniseko sokuthi ukukhala wulimi lokuqala lapho ingane ikhuluma khona. Futhi abazali akufanele bamzibe ngaphansi kwanoma yiziphi izimo. Sifulathele ingane ekhalayo, sithi: “Anginendaba nawe.”
UTracy uqinisekile ukuthi akufanele ushiye izingane kanye nezingane ezingaphezu konyaka ubudala zodwa umzuzwana, ngoba bangadinga usizo lomuntu omdala nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Uzwela kakhulu ukukhala kwengane aze anikeze nabazali iziyalezo zokuthi bangakuqonda kanjani ukukhala.
Yinde kakhulu endaweni eyodwa futhi ngaphandle kokunyakaza? Isizungu.
Ukuncipha nokudonsa imilenze phezulu? Ukuqhuma kwesisu.
Ukukhala ngokungaduduzeki isikhathi esingangehora ngemuva kokudla? I-Reflux.
UDeborah Solomon, kunalokho, kweluleka ukunika izingane inkululeko. Esikhundleni sokungenela ngokushesha kulokho okwenzekayo futhi "ukusindisa" ingane yakho noma ukuxazulula izinkinga zayo, weluleka ukuthi ulinde isikhashana lapho ingane ikhala noma ikhuza. Uqinisekile ukuthi ngale ndlela ingane izofunda ukuzimela nokuzethemba.
Umama nobaba kufanele bafundise ingane ukuthi yehlise umoya yodwa, bayinikeze ithuba lokuthi kwesinye isikhathi babe bodwa endaweni ephephile. Uma abazali begijimela enganeni ocingweni lokuqala, khona-ke ukunamathela okungenampilo kubazali kwakheka nakanjani kuye, akafundi ukuba yedwa futhi akazizwa ephephile uma abazali bengekho. Amandla okuzwa ukuthi ubambelele nini nokuthi uyekele nini ikhono elidingeka ngaso sonke isikhathi njengoba izingane zikhula.
UTracy Hogg aziwa emhlabeni wonke ngezindlela zawo eziphikisanayo (kodwa eziphumelelayo) “zokuvuka ukuze ulale.” Weluleka abazali bezinsana abavame ukuvuka ebusuku ukuba bavuse ngokukhethekile phakathi kobusuku. Isibonelo, uma ingane yakho ivuka njalo ebusuku ngehora lesithathu, imvuse ihora ngaphambi kokuvuka ngokuthambisa isisu sayo noma ngokufaka ingono emlonyeni wayo, bese uyahamba. Ingane izovuka iphinde izumeke. UTracy uqinisekile: ngokuvusa ingane ehoreni ngaphambili, ubhubhisa okungene ohlelweni lwakhe, futhi uyeka ukuvuka ebusuku.
UTracy ubuye aphikisane nezindlela zokukhulisa izingane njengokugula kokunyakaza. Ubheka lokhu njengendlela eya ekukhulisweni ngendlela engahlelekile. Ingane ijwayele ukunyakaziswa njalo ngaphambi kokuyolala bese ingasakwazi ukulala yodwa, ngaphandle kwethonya lomzimba. Esikhundleni salokho, uphakamisa ukuthi njalo afake ingane embhedeni, futhi ukuze alale, athule kancane abambe ingane emhlane.
UDeborah Solomon ikholelwa ukuthi ukuvuka ebusuku kuyinto ejwayelekile ezinganeni, kepha ukuze ingane ingadidanisi imini nobusuku, kepha ilale ngokushesha lapho uyondla, yeluleka ukuthi ungakhanyisi ilambu elingaphezulu, ukhulume ngokunyenyeza futhi uziphathe kahle.
UDeborah uqinisekile nokuthi akufanele ugijimele enganeni uma ivuka ngokungazelelwe. Okokuqala, kufanele ulinde kancane, bese uya esibhedeni. Uma usebenzisa lo mzuzwana, ingane iyoba umlutha. Lapho ngikhala, kuza umama wami. Ngokuzayo uzokhala ngaphandle kwesizathu, ukuthola nje ukunakwa kwakho.
Ukuba ngumzali mhlawumbe kuyinto enzima kakhulu empilweni. Kepha uma ungaguquguquki, funda ukubeka ngokucacile imingcele nemikhawulo, ulalele izifiso zengane yakho, kepha ungalandeli ukuhola kwakhe, lapho inqubo yokukhula izoba mnandi kini nobabili. Ukukhulisa ngokunamathela emithethweni eqinile, noma ukubheka, ukunikeza ingane inkululeko enkulu, kungukukhetha komzali ngamunye.
Kususelwa ezintweni ezisuka ezincwadini futhi ".