I-Symbiosis nomama ibaluleke kakhulu enganeni njengoba ukuphuma kuyo ibalulekile entombazaneni esencane kanye nowesifazane omdala. Kusho ukuthini ukuhlanganisa futhi kungani kunzima ukuhlukanisa, kusho umhlaziyi wezingane u-Anna Skavitina.
Psychology: Kanjani futhi kungani kuvela i-symbiosis yentombazane nomama wayo? Futhi iphetha nini?
U-Anna Skavitina: I-Symbiosis ivame ukwenzeka ngokushesha ngemva kokubeletha noma ngemva kwamasonto ambalwa. Umama ubona usana njengokuqhubeka kwakhe, kuyilapho yena ngokwakhe eba umntwana ngezinga elithile, okumsiza ukuba ezwe ingane yakhe. Ukuhlanganiswa kuyafaneleka ngokwebhayoloji: uma kungenjalo, umntwana, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umfana noma intombazane, unamathuba amancane okusinda. Kodwa-ke, ukuze ingane ithuthukise amakhono emoto kanye ne-psyche, udinga ukwenza okuthile ngokwayo.
Ngokufanelekile, ukuphuma ku-symbiosis kuqala cishe ezinyangeni ezi-4.: ingane isivele ifinyelela ezintweni, izikhomba. Angakwazi ukubekezelela ukunganeliseki kwesikhashana lapho engatholi ithoyizi, ubisi, noma ukunakwa ngokushesha. Umntwana ufunda ukukhuthazela futhi uzama ukuthola lokho akufunayo. Njalo ngenyanga, ingane ikhuthazelela ukukhungatheka isikhathi eside futhi ithola amakhono amaningi, futhi umama angakwazi ukuhamba kude naye, isinyathelo ngesinyathelo.
Liphela nini igatsha?
NJENGOBA: Kukholakala ukuthi ebusheni, kodwa lokhu «isiqongo» sokuhlubuka, iphuzu lokugcina. Umbono obucayi wabazali uqala ukubonakala ngaphambili, futhi lapho eneminyaka engu-13-15, intombazane isilungele ukuvikela ubuntu bayo futhi iyakwazi ukuhlubuka. Umgomo wokuhlubuka uwukuziqaphela njengomuntu ohlukile, ohlukile komama.
Yini enquma ikhono likamama lokuyeka indodakazi yakhe?
NJENGOBA: Ukunikeza indodakazi yakhe ithuba lokuthuthukisa ngaphandle kokuyizungezile nge-cocoon yokunakekelwa okungenakufinyeleleka, umama kufanele azizwe njengomuntu ozimele, abe nezithakazelo zakhe: umsebenzi, abangane, izinto zokuzilibazisa. Uma kungenjalo, uhlangabezana nemizamo yendodakazi yakhe yokuzimela njengobuze bayo, "ukulahlwa", futhi ngokungazi ifuna ukumisa imizamo enjalo.
Kunesaga samaNdiya: "Ingane iyisivakashi endlini yakho: yondla, funda futhi uyiyeke." Isikhathi lapho indodakazi iqala ukuphila ukuphila kwayo sizofika ngokushesha noma kamuva, kodwa akubona bonke omama abakulungele ukubhekana nalo mcabango. Ukusinda ngokuphepha ekubhujisweni kwe-symbiosis nendodakazi, owesifazane kwadingeka aphume ngempumelelo ebuhlotsheni be-symbiotic nomama wakhe. Ngivame ukubona yonke "imindeni yase-Amazon", amaketanga abesifazane bezizukulwane ezihlukene bexhumene komunye nomunye.
Kungakanani ukuvela kwemindeni yabesifazane ngenxa yomlando wethu?
NJENGOBA: Kuphela ngokwengxenye. Umkhulu washona empini, ugogo wayedinga indodakazi yakhe njengokwesekwa nokusekelwa - yebo, lokhu kungenzeka. Kodwa-ke lo modeli ulungisiwe: indodakazi ayishadi, izizalele "ngokwayo", noma ibuyele kunina ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Isizathu sesibili se-symbiosis yilapho umama ngokwakhe ezithola esesikhundleni somntwana (ngenxa yokuguga noma ukugula), futhi isikhundla sangaphambili somuntu omdala silahlekelwa ukukhanga kwayo kuye. Usesimeni esihle "sobusana besibili."
Isizathu sesithathu siwukuthi ingekho indoda ebuhlotsheni bomama nendodakazi, kungaba ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba. Ubaba wentombazane angakwazi futhi kufanele abe isivikelo phakathi kwayo nomama wayo, ukuze abahlukanise, anikeze bobabili inkululeko. Kodwa ngisho noma ekhona futhi ezwakalisa isifiso sokuhlanganyela ekunakekeleni ingane, umama othambekele ekubeni ne-symbiosis angamqeda ngezaba elithile.