I-Psychology

Isitatimende sabafundi bangaphambili besikole se-elite saseMoscow «League of Schools» sokuthi umqondisi nesekela labo bahlukumeza abafundi ngokocansi iminyaka engu-25 baphakamisa imibuzo eminingi. Ngeke sibheke okulungile nokungalungile. Sifuna ukukhuluma ngokuthi kungani kuvela izimo ezinje ezikhungweni zemfundo ezivaliwe. Yini abazali okuyodingeka bayidele ukuze bathole imfundo enhle? Yini eyamukelekayo ekukhulumisaneni phakathi kukathisha nengane? Le mibuzo iphendulwa ngochwepheshe bethu.

I-elite Moscow School "League of Schools" ivalwe ngo-2014 ngenxa yokubambezeleka kwe-bureaucratic. Eminyakeni emibili kamuva, kwashicilelwa incwadi eku-inthanethi iMeduza umbiko oyihlazo UDaniil Turovsky, lapho le nguqulo iphikiswa khona. Abafundi abangaphezu kuka-20 bangaphambili besikole bavuma ukuthi iminyaka engu-25 umqondisi wesikole uSergei Bebchuk nesekela lakhe uNikolay Izyumov babehlukumeza abafundi ngokocansi. Abafundi bakhiphe umyalelo othi: vala isikole noma siye enkantolo.

Lo mbiko waphakamisa imibuzo eminingi. Kungani abafundi bavuma ngemuva kweminyaka emibili kuphela isikole sivaliwe? Bangathula kanjani abanye othisha uma bebona okwenzeka esikoleni? Abanye bahlasele othisha ngamazwi athukuthele kuWeb. Abanye banesiqiniseko sokuthi umbiko wenziwa ngokwezifiso. Kanti abanye abafuni ukukholelwa ukuthi othisha bayakwazi ukwenza izinto ezinjalo.

“Okokuqala nje, iNhlangano Yezikole ibilokhu imayelana nemfundo enhle kakhulu,” wasitshela. isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, isazi se-gestalt Sonia Zege von Manteuffel. Usebenze kulesi sikhungo iminyaka engu-14, kusukela ngo-1999. - I «League» esakhiweni sayo sangaphakathi yayiphikisana nazo zonke izinkolo zemfundo yangemva kweSoviet. Enkumbulweni yami, njalo ngonyaka u-Bebchuk kwakudingeka avikele okuthile - noma ukungabi khona kwedayari, noma uhambo lokufunda kanye nazo zonke izinhlobo zamacala okuphatha. Futhi minyaka yonke kwaba nzima nakakhulu. Ngakho-ke, labo manje abacabanga ukuthi isikole sivaliwe ngenxa yehlazo, kufanele wazi: lokhu kungamanga. I "League of Schools" "yaklinywa" yizinguquko zemfundo.

USergei Bebchuk emoyeni weRadio Liberty ngo-2014

Mayelana nobudlelwano esikoleni, babehlukene. Uthisha ngamunye unobudlelwane bakhe. Izithakazelo, ukuthanda. Ngakho-ke, ukwanga, injabulo yokuhlangana ayizange ibonakale ihlanekezelwe futhi ingamanga kimi. Njengesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, angizange ngibone noma yikuphi ubulili kulokhu. Lapho isikole siphila njengesidalwa esisodwa, ukuxhumana okuseduze phakathi kwabantu akunakugwenywa. Okunye okungakahleleki, okuyimfihlo. Futhi lokhu kwakwaziswa kakhulu ngaphakathi futhi ngandlela-thile «okungavamile» kwakubonakala ngaphandle.

"Ngaphumelela esikoleni esikhethekile": izindaba zangempela zabathweswe iziqu

Yiqiniso, amantombazane ayethanda othisha, hhayi labo okukhulunywe ngabo esihlokweni kuphela. Kungenzeka ukuthi nothisha bathandana. Kodwa angikwazi ukuvuma ukuthi kwakungokwezinjongo zobulili. Ngichemile impela, ngoba nami ngakhulela kulesi sikole, ngafika ngizosebenza ngineminyaka engu-26. Ngiyazazi ezinye izindaba ngezinjongo zokufundisa. Ngiyavuma ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi kuba lula ukuthi owesifazane noma intombazane ikhombise kunokukhuthaza ukuziphatha kahle ngokuphepha kwabo.

Ngokuqondile mayelana nehlazo - indaba isineminyaka cishe emibili iqhubeka. Ngikhumbula ngibiza abafundi nothisha futhi ngiqoqa imininingwane «esabekayo». Inhloso yalokhu akukona ukuvusa ihlazo kanye “nokuvikela izingane ezenzweni ezesabekayo zabanukubezi.” Lokhu inhloso enhle. Kodwa buphi ubufakazi? Isiphetho esethulwe kothisha sibukeka njengesenzo sokungemthetho: “Nizohamba, kodwa ngeke sisho, ukuze singahlambalazi iNhlangano, sethembiseni ukuthi ngeke nisaqhubeka nokusondela kubantwana … Ah, woza, sizokumisa manje. …” Indlela lolu lwazi olwaqoqwa ngayo nokuthi lwalunikezwe ngaluphi uhlobo, kwakubukeka njengesifo sengqondo esikhulu.

Manje sekunzima ukuthi ngibheke isimo njengochwepheshe, kunezimo zengqondo nemizwa eminingi kakhulu ngabasolwa nabamangaleli. Ngazi into eyodwa ngokuqinisekile - ukuthi lesi simo sihlukumeza bonke abantu beNhlangano Yezikole. Futhi akekho owakuhoxisa ukucatshangelwa kobumsulwa.”

U-Sergei Bebchuk akaxhumani. Kodwa isekela lomqondisi, omunye wabasolwa ngabafundi, u-Nikolai Izyumov, uyaqiniseka ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuba uthule kulesi simo.

“Nginenkolelo eqinile yokuthi sonke lesi simo sakhiwe,” U-Nikolai Izyumov wasitshela. “Okokuqala sivale isikole hhayi ngenxa yalezi zinsolo. Abafundi beza kithi nge-ultimatum ngoDisemba 2014. Ngaleso sikhathi, sasivele silungiselela ukuvalwa, ngoba kwakungenakwenzeka ukusebenza. Sacindezelwa abashushisi, i-FSB, ngoba sasihlale singakhululekile, sibambelele emibonweni ekhululekile. Ngakho-ke, lapho iqembu labafundi elaliholwa umphathi wendawo yeshashalazi lisisola ngazo zonke izono ezibulalayo, asizange siphikisane. Kwakungenakwenzeka ukukhuluma nabo: sasishaqekile, ngoba bonke laba bantu bangabangane bethu.

Sathi noma yikanjani siyasivala isikole, sacela ukuthi sisinike izinyanga eziyisithupha. Ngayeka ngoba ngangingakwazi ukusebenza - izinkinga zenhliziyo zaqala ngenxa yalesi simo. Othisha nabafundi beza kimi nsuku zonke. Babazi ngalezi zinsolo ezimbi futhi bacasulwa ukuziphatha kwaleli qembu labantu. Sabe sesivalwa isikole, konke kwabonakala sekuphelile. Kodwa eminyakeni emibili kamuva, lesi sihloko savela ngokumangalelwa kwe-pedophilia. Ukumangalelwa okunjalo eminyakeni embalwa kamuva, ngokubona kwami, kuyisifiso sokuziphindiselela. Ngani nje?

“Yebo, nabanye othisha, izingane zingagona, kodwa lobu ubuhlobo bomuntu nje”

Mhlawumbe abaningi balabo ababesisola abakwazanga ukuthethelela ukuthi behlulekile ukukholisa abanye. Ngemva kokuvalwa kwesikole, abafundi beza ukungivakashela, baqhubeke nokuxhumana noSergey Alexandrovich (Bebchuk. - Ed.). Ngavula i-Intellect Club, lapho ngenza khona ama-webinars aku-inthanethi, ngezinye izikhathi amakilasi ayinhloko angaxhunyiwe ku-inthanethi. Mayelana nokuthi kwakuyinto evamile esikoleni ukuthi umfundi aqabule uthisha uma engena ekilasini kungamampunge. Akukaze kwenzeke lokhu. Yebo, nabanye othisha, izingane zingagona, kodwa lokhu kuwubuhlobo bomuntu nje.

Indaba emayelana no-Tanya Karston (umsunguli womqhudelwano. - Approx. ed.) imbi kakhulu. Intombazane yayiyingane enzima kakhulu. Angikwazi ukusho ukuthi wayenobuntu obuhlukene, kodwa wayekwazi ukukhuluma ngaye, isibonelo, ngomuntu wesithathu. Uthi u-Bebchuk wayemhlukumeza endlini yokugezela endlini yasemaphandleni e-Bobrovo (abafundi babevame ukuza kumqondisi ukuze bathole amakilasi engeziwe ngezimpelasonto. - Note ed.), ngenkathi eqeda isikole kamuva, wahamba nowesilisa okusolakala ukuthi weza kuye enukubeziwe ... Kungani? Lolu wuhlobo oluthile lombhedo. Yonke le ndaba isezingeni lomdlalo wezingane othi "Kholwa noma ungakholwa". Bakutshela okuthize, bese nawe uyakwamukela noma ungakwemukeli.

U-Izyumov waphendukela kummeli eminyakeni emibili edlule. Kodwa wamyekisa ukufaka isicelo. Ngokusho kuka-Izyumov, ummeli waphikisana nalesi simo ngale ndlela: "Uma ungenandaba nezinto ezihlelekile, kungenzeka ukuthi uqhubeke nomsebenzi esikoleni, angikuncomi ukuthi uqale - lokhu kuzoba inqubo yesikhathi eside lapho ukungcola. izogeleza.” U-Izyumov uyaqinisekisa: uma abafundi bemangalela, uzolithatha icala.

Ngeke sinqume ukuthi ubani olungile nongalungile. Kodwa sikumema ukuthi ucabangele ukuthi kungani amacala aziwayo odlame evame ukuhlotshaniswa nemiphakathi evaliwe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izikhungo zemfundo ephakeme noma ezinye izinhlangano zabantu.

Umlando omncane

Udaba lweNhlangano Yezikole aluhlukanisiwe nakancane. Ngo-August 2016 esikhungweni ukukhwabanisa Isikole saseMoscow 57 saba: uthisha womlando wasolwa iminyaka eminingi yobudlelwane bobulili nabafundi. Izisulu zikwazile ukuqoqa ubufakazi zaholela ekutheni uthisha axoshwe. Yiqiniso, umbuzo wokuthi ingabe abanye othisha nabasebenzi besikole babengazi nhlobo nganoma yini awuzange uphendule.

Inkinga ngokwayo ayisiyona into entsha: umbuzo kuphela ukuthi izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa zinamathuba amaningi okukhuluma ngalokho okwenzeka kuzo. Abakwenzayo — okuhlanganisa njengengxenye yesixuku esikhanyayo #angesabi ukukusho.

Ezandleni zabahlukumezi abanikezwe amandla, amalungu emiphakathi evaliwe aye ahlupheka futhi ayahlupheka - lawo lapho imithetho nemikhuba yawo evame ukubusa, engavamile futhi engamukeleki kumuntu obukele ngaphandle. Ngakho, ukunukubezwa ngokobulili kwezingane ngabapristi bamaKatolika kwakukhulunywa ngakho emuva ngawo-1950. Ngeminyaka yawo-2000, kwaqubuka ihlazo elikhulu, okusekelwe kulo ngo-2015 laqoshwa. ifilimu "Esikhanyeni".

Izindaba ezinjalo azinqunyelwe isikhathi noma imingcele yendawo. Kusukela ngo-1991, bangaphezu kuka-200 ababengabafundi bezikole ezizimele ezingama-67 eNew England (USA) asole othisha nabasebenzi ngokuhlukumeza ngokocansi.

Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Yini engalungile ngezikole ezizimele nemiphakathi evaliwe njengazo?

Kungani kungase kube namacala odlame esikoleni esikhethekile?

Isikhungo semfundo esincane, esikhethekile futhi "esikhethekile", othisha basondelana kakhulu nezingane. Uma lincane ibanga phakathi kukathisha nomfundi, imingcele iyasulwa kaningi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, isimo sengqondo esinjalo sothisha ngabafundi sincoma abazali: izingane zabo azifundiswa nje, ziyanakekelwa. Indlela yokudala indawo ephephile ezikoleni ezikhethekile lapho othisha bengabangane nabafundi, funda isihloko umelaphi wenqubo u-Olga Prokhorova "Uthando phakathi kukathisha nomfundi kuwukulala kwezihlobo".

Yini okufanele ixwayise abazali lapho bekhetha isikole?

Wonke umzali ufunela ingane yakhe okungcono kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, bakulungele ukunikeza imali enhle futhi bahlukumeze ingane ngokulungiselela ukuphumelela izivivinyo, uma nje ukuyihlela esikhungweni semfundo esivaliwe sabaphezulu (izikole eziphakeme, imibuthano, amanyuvesi, njll.). Kubonakala sengathi imfundo ingcono lapho. Akunakwenzeka ukuphikisana nalokhu: isikhungo semfundo sincane, othisha banaka kakhulu umfundi ngamunye. Kodwa kukhona nolunye uhlangothi lwemali.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uLyudmila Petranovskaya ibona amaqembu avaliwe njengangasebenzi kahle—amaqembu okuthi ngesinye isikhathi athathe okuningi kumalungu awo kunalokho awanika wona. Umgomo oyinhloko weqembu elinjalo ukuvikela isimo sabo, ngenxa yalokho uhlelo lokuhlukumeza (ukusetshenziswa) lwakhiwe.

I-Petranovskaya ikhomba izimpawu okufanele zixwayise abazali. Uma ubona okungenani ezintathu, sekuyisikhathi sokukhalisa i-alamu.

Kufanele uxwayiswe:

… uma amalungu eqembu (umbuthano) ezibheka njengakhethiwe. Uma lokhu kukhethwa kuqinisekisa impumelelo, umsebenzi, ukunqoba, ukuxhumana ezingeni eliphezulu. Uma iqembu linemithetho yalo, futhi evamile ayisebenzi kulo. “Ukukhethwa kuyathopha futhi kuyajabulisa. Lokhu kudala ukuncika eqenjini. Umuntu ulahlekelwa ukugxeka kwakhe. Sakhiwa isisekelo sokusondelana kanye nokuthethelela ukuhlukumeza.

...uma abaholi bombuthano bethenjwa kakhulu kunabo. OBaba Abasunguli, Abaholi, Abadala, phakathi kwabakhethiweyo bakhethwa nakakhulu abazi konke futhi benza konke ngendlela efanele. Igunya labo alinakuphikiswa, bahlakaniphile, banesizotha futhi abanabugovu, nanoma yimuphi umbuzo, ukungabaza nokukhononda, udinga ukuya kubo. - Amalungu avamile eqembu akhishwa ngokusobala noma ngokusobala ekuthathweni kwezinqumo. I-subjectivity isivele icishe idluliselwe, i-hook iqhutshwa ngokujulile.

...uma iqembu likholelwa ukuthi ukukhethwa akumnandi nje kuphela, kodwa futhi kunzima. Ngakho-ke, amalungu ayo kufanele: asebenze kanzima, athuthuke njalo, adlule emazingeni amasha, angawunaki umndeni nabathandekayo, atshale amandla, atshale imali, aqinise amabhande futhi angakhonondi (dwebela uma kudingeka). - Imvamisa, izivivinyo ziqala lapho usungenile eqenjini: udinga ukufakazela "ukukhetha" kwakho. Uma “intengo yokungena” iphezulu, yehlisa ithuba lokuhamba ngaphandle kwemiphumela emibi. Amalungu aqala ukulungela ukunikela ngaphezu kwalokho akutholayo futhi asebenzele iqembu.

… uma amalungu wombuthano eqinisekile ukuthi anomona. Abasithandi futhi bafuna ukucekela phansi iqembu lethu, ngoba: banomona, abathandi abahlakaniphile, abathandi abahle, abathandi abalungile, ababuthandi ubuzwe bethu. , abaluthandi ukholo lwethu, bafuna ukuthatha indawo yethu, bafuna amandla angenamibandela, kodwa siyagxambukela. - Ukusondelana ekugcineni kulungisiwe, ngaphandle - izitha, masihlangane, siphile ngokulandela imithetho yempi, iyini imingcele yangaphakathi namalungelo abantu.

… uma ukugxekwa kombuthano kungamukelekile. Kusekelwe: amahemuhemu nokuqagela, ihaba nokuhlanekezela, umbono osontekile wabantu abangenele, amanga ngamabomu abantu abazondayo, uzungu olucatshangelwe ngokucophelela abafuna ukusibhubhisa (dwebela njengoba kudingeka). - Isisekelo esidingekayo sokudlulela ephuzwini elilandelayo, ukuvalwa okuphelele kokugxeka kanye nempendulo.

...uma labo abakhuluma ngezinkinga zombuthano bathathwa njengamambuka. Zonke izinkinga kufanele zixazululwe ngaphakathi kombuthano, futhi labo "abakhipha ilineni elingcolile eqhugwaneni" bangamambuka, izimpimpi, abangabongi, abaphuma emiqondweni yabo, bafuna ukuzithuthukisa, bangonodoli ezandleni zezitha. Kukhona ushushiso olukhombisayo kanye nokuxoshwa «kwembuka» ngokubamba iqhaza kweqembu lonke. – Izimo zokuhlukumeza ezingajeziswa zidaliwe. Ukuthi irenki yokushushuluza izodlula bani, futhi ngubani ozophoqeleka ukuthi abe yirenki yokushushuluza, kuyindaba yenhlanhla.

Ingabe usafuna ukuthumela ingane yakho eqenjini elinjalo? Bese ukala ubuhle nobubi. "Izingozi zingakuphikisa konke okutholayo," kuqhubeka uLyudmila Petranovskaya. - Kungani imfundo ekhaliphile kumuntu ocindezelekile isikhathi eside? Uma kukhona ama-pluses amaningi, cabanga ukuthi uzosilawula kanjani isimo nokuthi uzokwenzani ngesikhathi esibucayi. Buka izinguquko esimweni somntwana, zama ukugcina unolwazi ngalokho okwenzekayo, ukuxhumana namalungu ahlukene eqembu, kuyilapho ugcina ibanga.

Amalungu eqembu azibheka njengakhethiwe. Lokhu kukhethwa kuqinisekisa impumelelo, umsebenzi, ukunqoba, ukuxhumana ezingeni eliphezulu. Iqembu linemithetho yalo.

Uma ingane yakho isivele iseqenjini elinjalo, yini okufanele uyenze?

"Into eyinhloko ayikona ukugxeka noma ukuthethisa iqembu nabaholi balo," kuqhubeka uLyudmila Petranovskaya. — Uma ugxeka kakhulu, yilapho ingane isuka eduze kwakho futhi iye eqenjini. Zama ukulondoloza ubuhlobo nganoma iyiphi indlela, ukulondoloza lokho okuhlanganisayo wena nengane yakho, okujabulisa nobabili. Ingane yakho izodinga ukwesekwa nguwe lapho kufanele ishiye iqembu (futhi lo mzuzu uzofika noma kunjalo). Ingane izogula futhi izokwazi ukumelana nayo. Uma usola ukuthi kukhona ubugebengu, zilungiselele ukulwa. Ungayishiyi kanjalo, ngisho noma ingane isiphephile. Cabanga ngezinye izingane.

Uma uyilungu leqembu elinjalo. Phakamisa ingxoxo mayelana nezimiso, imithetho, izinto eziza kuqala. Gxila ezinqubweni zokuthatha izinqumo ezisobala, zama ukuhlala ugxeka, futhi ezingxoxweni uveze futhi ubuze i-paranoid "sihlale siqinisile, yingakho bengasithandi" izithombe. Akukho "ukumuncwa ngaphandle komkhondo." Cha "ubuqotho kuze kube sekupheleni". Bagxeke abaholi beqembu - izimpawu zokudumisa iqembu labo, ikakhulukazi uma bedlala nalokhu, noma ngabe benza sengathi banesizotha, kufanele baqaphele.

Uma kuwe lokhu kugcina ngokungqubuzana nokuxoshwa eqenjini, khona-ke ngokushesha lokhu kwenzeka, kungcono, ukulahlekelwa kwakho kuzoba kuncane.

Futhi ngokuqhubekayo. Uma usola ukuthi iqembu liphethwe ngokusemthethweni noma ngokungakahleleki i-sociopath futhi lingekho ithuba lokukushintsha lokhu, hamba ngokushesha. Uma unamandla gxeka ungaphandle, usize izisulu kanye nabaxoshiwe.”

Indlela yokuvikela izingane eqenjini elinjalo?

Umbuzo ocindezela kakhulu kubo bonke abazali ukuthi ungayivikela kanjani ingane, ungayinaki kanjani?

Uthi: “Ayikho iresiphi evamile. Ludmila Petranovskaya. - Akunakwenzeka ukuxosha bonke othisha abashisekayo ezikoleni futhi ushiye kuphela okuyisicefe futhi okuyisicefe, izingane ezingeke zifinyelele kuzo. Ngakho-ke, qapha ngokucophelela isimo. Imvamisa, izikole eziphakeme nezivaliwe ziyimidlalo yabazali. Yibo abafuna ukuthi ingane ifunde khona, yibo abasaba ukuthi izoxoshwa ngenxa yehlazo noma kuvalwe isikole sodumo. Kodwa ongeke ukwenze wukuchitha amazwi engane noma uyisole. Kuthathele phezulu lokho akushoyo. Mthembe ngokuzenzakalela. Udinga ukukuthola noma yikuphi, ngisho noma kungumbono nje. Ngokuqondene nendaba ka-Yasenev, ngombono wami, inzima kakhulu kune-57, lapho sikhuluma ngentsha encane. Futhi imiphumela ezinganeni nakubafundisi ingaba mibi kakhulu.”

"Umthetho oyinhloko: isikole akufanele sithathe indawo yomndeni, kusho I-psychotherapist u-Irina Mlodik. — Uma lokhu kwenzeka, umkhaya uyayeka ukufeza umsebenzi wawo. Futhi-ke akufanele ulindele ubudlelwano obuseduze noma ukunemba kwengane. Ngemva kokushintsha umndeni ngesikole, ingane ijwayele isimiso esinjalo sobudlelwane futhi izoyidlulisela kamuva emsebenzini, izama ukwakha ubuhlobo phakathi kweqembu.

Umthetho wesibili — ingane kufanele izizwe ivikelekile emndenini, yazi ukuthi iyohlale isekelwa, iqondwa, yamukelwe.

Elesithathu - umthetho kufanele uthuthukiswe emndenini: umzimba ungcwele. Udinga ukubeka imingcele yomuntu siqu ecacile - awukwazi ukugeza ingane noma ukugona nokuqabula ngaphandle kwemvume yakhe. Khumbula ukuthi emibuthanweni yomndeni, uma ingane ivika iqabula nezihlobo, ziyihlazo: ngumalume wakho, mqabule. Ngakho-ke akunakwenzeka ukusho ngokwezigaba. Ingane ikhululekile ukunquma ukuthi izoqabula bani. Okuningi kuncike kubazali - uma konke kuhlelekile ngobulili babo nempilo yobulili futhi bengayidluliseli enganeni, khona-ke isimo sengqondo ngomzimba sizobe silungile.

Indlela yokusabela kubazali uma ingane ivuma ukuthi ihlukunyezwe?

Uma ingane yakho ingena nesivumo sokuhlukumeza ngokocansi noma ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi, isihluthulelo akukhona ukuyibhula, kodwa ukulalela. Yini enye okudingeka yenziwe nokuthi ungasabela kanjani esimweni esinjalo? Udokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo u-Irina Mlodik uyachaza.

Indlela yokusabela?

  1. Okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, kufanele okungenani ukholwe ingane. Ungasho ukuthi - "Wenza konke." Ungamhleki, ungayihleki, ungayisoli ingane, ungajabhisi, ungethuki — «Yeka iphupho elibi, ubungakwenza kanjani (ungakwazi)»!

    Abazali abasabela ngale ndlela nabo bangaqondwa — umuntu akakwazi ukwamukela iqiniso elibi ngoba ethanda ingane yakhe ngokweqile noma esaba ukuvuma ukwehluleka kwakhe njengomzali, othile ubona uthisha njengomuntu ongakwazi ukwenza izinto ezimbi, phela thina baneminyaka eminingi. lokhu kufundiswa esikoleni - uthisha uyigunya eliyinhloko nelingenaphutha, futhi asiqondi ukuthi lo ngumuntu nje futhi angagula, abe nenkinga. Kulula kubazali ukucasha, ukuxubha eceleni. Kodwa lokhu ngeke kwenziwe.

  2. Ungaphiki inkinga, ngisho noma kuyiphupho nje lengane. Amaphupho anjalo awamane azenzekele. Lolu uphawu olubi. Uphawu lokuthi ingane inenkinga ethile efihliwe ebuhlotsheni nothisha noma isifundo, ithimba. Uma ingane yenza udlame kothile, lokhu kungase kungasho ngempela ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi, kodwa noma yikuphi okungokomfanekiso. Kunoma yikuphi, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sizonquma ukuthi ingane isungula noma cha.
  3. Buza ingane ukuthi bekunjani, nini, kangaki, ubani omunye obambe iqhaza noma oyibonile, ukuthi bekunengane yakho kuphela noma cha.
  4. Ngokushesha uye kubaphathi besikole ukuze uqonde.
  5. Ungesabi ukuthi ngokumemezela icala, uzolimaza ingane. Cha, uyamvikela. I-psyche yentsha izohlupheka kakhulu uma umenzi wakhe ehlala engajeziswa, futhi ubugebengu ngokwawo buhlala bungaziwa. Uma ulahla amazwi engane yakho, uzothatha ngokuthi wonke umuntu omdala unelungelo lokumenza lokhu, ukuthi umzimba wakhe akuwona owakhe, nokuthi noma ubani angamngenela.

Ingasaphathwa imiphumela yokuhlukumezeka ngokocansi, zimbi kakhulu futhi zingakhubaza impilo yengane yakho. Lokhu kuhlukumezeka kujule kakhulu futhi kungabonakala kamuva ngendlela yokucindezeleka okukhulu, ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa, utshwala, ukuzibulala, ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu nobocansi obunzima, ukungakwazi ukudala umbhangqwana, umndeni, ukungakwazi ukuzithanda wena nezingane zakho. Ubangela ukulimala okungenakulungiseka enganeni ngokungakhulumi ngokwenzekile. Cabanga ngalokho okubaluleke kakhulu kuwena—ukungalahlekelwa yisikole esihlonishwayo noma ukungalahlekelwa yingane?

Umbhalo: Dina Babaeva, Yulia Tarasenko, Marina Velikanova

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