Okuqukethwe
Kungase kubonakale sengathi yini engokwemvelo ngaphezu kocansi? Kodwa isazi sefilosofi u-Alain de Botton uyaqiniseka ukuthi emphakathini wanamuhla "ubulili buqhathaniswa nobunkimbinkimbi nezibalo eziphezulu."
Ukuba namandla emvelo anamandla, ucansi lusidalela izinkinga eziningi. Sifisa ngasese ukuba nalezo esingabazi noma esingabathandi. Abanye bazimisele ukuhlanganyela ekuhloleni ukuziphatha okubi noma okuhlazisayo ukuze banelise ubulili. Futhi umsebenzi awuwona olula - ekugcineni utshele labo esibathandayo ngempela ngalokho esikufuna ngempela embhedeni.
U-Alain de Botton uthi: “Sihlupheka ngasese, sizwa ubuhlungu obungavamile bobulili esiphupha ngabo noma esizama ukusigwema,” kusho u-Alain de Botton futhi uphendula imibuzo eshisa kakhulu ngesihloko esivusa inkanuko.
Kungani abantu beqamba amanga ngezifiso zabo zangempela?
Nakuba ubulili bungenye yezenzo ezisondelene kakhulu, buzungezwe imibono eminingi evunyelwe emphakathini. Bachaza ukuthi iyini inkambiso yocansi. Eqinisweni, abambalwa bethu bawela ngaphansi kwalo mqondo, ubhala u-Alain de Botton encwadini ethi "Indlela yokucabanga okwengeziwe ngocansi."
Cishe sonke sihlushwa imizwa yecala noma izinzwa, ama-phobias nezifiso ezilimazayo, ngenxa yokunganaki nokunengeka. Futhi asikakulungeli ukukhuluma ngempilo yethu yocansi, ngoba sonke sifuna ukucatshangelwa kahle.
Abathandi ngokwemvelo bayakugwema ukuvuma izono ezinjalo, ngoba besaba ukubangela ukunengeka okungenakuvinjelwa kwabalingani babo.
Kodwa uma kuleli qophelo, lapho ukunengeka kungafinyelela ubukhulu bakho, sizwa ukwamukelwa nokuvunyelwa, siba nomuzwa onamandla ovusa inkanuko.
Cabanga ngezilimi ezimbili zihlola indawo yomlomo—umhume omnyama, omanzi lapho kubukeka khona udokotela wamazinyo kuphela. Ubunjalo obukhethekile bokuhlangana kwabantu ababili buvalwa ngesenzo esingabesabisa bobabili uma senzeke komunye umuntu.
Okwenzeka kumbhangqwana ekamelweni lokulala kude nemithetho nemithetho ebekiwe. Kuyisenzo sokuvumelana phakathi kwabantu ababili bobulili obuyimfihlo abagcina sebevulelana izifuba.
Ingabe umshado uyabuqeda ubulili?
U-Alain de Botton uyaqinisekisa: “Ukuncipha kancane kancane kokuqina nokubanga kobulili kumbhangqwana oshadile kuyiqiniso elingenakugwenywa lesayensi yezinto eziphilayo kanye nobufakazi bokujwayela kwethu ngokuphelele. “Nakuba imboni yokwelapha ngobulili izama ukusitshela ukuthi umshado kufanele uvuselelwe ngokuxhamazela kwesifiso esiqhubekayo.
Ukuntuleka kocansi ebudlelwaneni obumisiwe kuhlotshaniswa nokungakwazi ukushintshela enkambisweni kuya ekuheheni. Izimfanelo ezidingwa ucansi kithi ziphikisana nokugcinwa kwamabhuku amancane okuphila kwansuku zonke.
Ucansi ludinga umcabango, ukudlala, nokulahlekelwa ukulawula, ngakho-ke, ngemvelo yalo, kuyaphazamisa. Asilugwemi ucansi ngoba lungasijabulisi, kodwa ngoba ubumnandi balo bubukela phansi ikhono lethu lokwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya ngesilinganiso.
Kunzima ukushintsha ekuxoxeni ngephrosesa yokudla yesikhathi esizayo futhi ukhuthaze owakwakho ukuthi azame indima yokuba umhlengikazi noma adonse amabhuzu amadolo. Singase sikuthole kulula ukucela omunye umuntu ukuthi akwenze—umuntu okungeke kudingeke ukuthi sidle naye isidlo sasekuseni iminyaka engamashumi amathathu ilandelana.
Kungani sibheka ukubaluleka okungaka ekungathembeki?
Naphezu kokulahlwa komphakathi kokungathembeki, ukuntuleka kwanoma yisiphi isifiso socansi ohlangothini akunangqondo futhi kuphambene nemvelo. Kuwukuphika amandla abusa ukuzicabangela kwethu okunengqondo futhi kube nomthelela "izinto ezivusa inkanuko" yethu: "izithende eziphakeme neziketi ezithambile, izinqe ezibushelelezi namaqakala anemisipha".
Siba nentukuthelo lapho sibhekene neqiniso lokuthi akekho kithi ongaba yikho konke komunye umuntu. Kodwa leli qiniso liyaphikwa ngumbono womshado wesimanje, nezifiso zawo kanye nenkolelo yokuthi zonke izidingo zethu zinganeliswa ngumuntu oyedwa kuphela.
Sifuna emshadweni ukugcwaliseka kwamaphupho ethu othando nocansi futhi siphoxekile.
Kodwa kuwubuwula ukucabanga ukuthi ukukhaphela kungaba ikhambi eliphumelelayo kulokhu kudumala. Akunakwenzeka ukulala nomunye umuntu futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ungalimazi lokho okukhona emndenini, ”kusho u-Alain de Botton.
Uma othile esithanda ukudlala ngothando ku-inthanethi esimema ukuba sihlangane ehhotela, siyalingeka. Ngenxa yamahora ambalwa enjabulo, cishe sesikulungele ukubeka ukuphila kwethu komshado engcupheni.
Abagqugquzeli bomshado wothando bakholelwa ukuthi imizwa iyikho konke. Kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, abawunaki udoti ontanta phezu kwe-kaleidoscope yethu engokomzwelo. Abazinaki zonke lezi zimo eziphikisanayo, zemizwa kanye namahomoni azama ukusihlukanisa ngamakhulu ezindlela ezahlukene.
Besingeke sibe khona ukube besingazikhapheli ngaphakathi, sinesifiso esidlula ngokushesha sokuklinya ezethu izingane, sifake ushevu esishade naye, noma sihlukanise ngenxa yengxabano yokuthi ubani ozoshintsha isibani. Izinga elithile lokuzithiba liyadingeka empilweni yengqondo yezinhlobo zethu kanye nokuba khona okwanele komphakathi ojwayelekile.
“Siyiqoqo lokuhlangana kwamakhemikhali okuyisiphithiphithi. Futhi kuhle ukuthi siyazi ukuthi izimo zangaphandle ngokuvamile ziphikisana nemizwa yethu. Lokhu kuwuphawu lokuthi sisendleleni efanele,” kufingqa u-Alain de Botton.
Mayelana nombhali: U-Alain de Botton ungumbhali nesazi sefilosofi saseBrithani.