I-heroine yethu iyavuma ukuthi ukushintsha lokho angakuthandi ngosizo lokungenelela kwepulasitiki kwaphumelela kakhulu kunokuzama ukuthanda ukungapheleli kokubukeka kwayo iminyaka. Ukholelwa ukuthi simosha isikhathi namandla ekulweni nokuzamukela. Indaba iphawulwe ngumelaphi weGestalt uDaria Petrovskaya.
"Ngifuna ukuzizwa ngimuhle"
U-Elena, umklami, oneminyaka engama-37: “Ebusheni bami, ngaya ezifundweni zengqondo ezazicula ngemvelo nesidingo sokuzithanda njengawo wonke umuntu. Kahle kahle akuzange kuchazwe. Kodwa baphikelela ngenkuthalo kukho.
Ngesinye isikhathi, ngabona ukuthi ukuze ngamukele ukungapheleli kwami, kwakudingeka ngidlule emzabalazweni wangaphakathi, ukuze ngizephule. Kodwa kunenzuzo enkulu kimi ukuthi ngingalwi nami, kodwa ngilungise okuthile manje futhi ngijabulele umphumela. Kuhle futhi kungokoqobo kakhulu. Phela, imizamo yokubhekana nokushiyeka kokubukeka inganwebeka iminyaka eminingi, ibangele ukungqubuzana okungapheli kwangaphakathi.
Angikaze ngizisole ngokuthi ngiye ezenzweni ezithile zokuphatha ubuso nomzimba. Umjaho okhohlisayo othi «uzamukele futhi uzithande unamaphutha» ubhujiswa ngokushesha ukuphawula nokugxeka kwabanye abantu. Simosha isikhathi esiyigugu ezintweni esizibonele. Futhi isikhathi siyisisetshenziswa esingenakubuyiswa.
Konke engikwenzile kuvela ekugqugquzeleni okungaphakathi, hhayi esifisweni sokuba semfashinini
Ukuze uqonde ukuthi waneliseke kangakanani ngokubukeka kwakho, kwanele ukuziqopha kukhamera. Uzomangala ukuthi angakanani amandla akho angasuswa yimizwa ngenxa yesithombe sangaphandle, isifiso sokuthola i-angle yokuwina.
Ngenza amasemina aku-inthanethi, ngijwayele ukusebenza ngekhamera. Futhi ngiphumelela kalula lokhu kuhlolwa kokuzethemba. Manje akusadingeki ngikhathazeke ngendlela engibukeka ngayo. Angizikhathazi nhlobo ngakho futhi ngiyakwazi ukugxila ngokugcwele emisebenzini yami.
Ngiqinisekile: kukhona njalo isisusa sangaphakathi nesangaphandle sokushintsha ukubukeka. Ngenza ngokusekelwe ezidingweni zami, hhayi ngenxa yemithetho yemfashini.
Asikho nesisodwa isici “semfashinini” ebusweni bami: ikhala elincane le-snub, ama-cheekbones aphakeme, i-chiseled chiseled nezindebe ezinomnsalo. Angilweli ukubukeka okuhlangene. Angikaze ngigcizelele isibalo ngezingubo, futhi ngisho nangaphezulu angiziqhayisi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, angikufihli ukuthi ngaphendukela ekuhlinzeni ngepulasitiki. Futhi abantu ngokuvamile abaqondi ukuthi kungani ngase ngiya ngoba. Impendulo ilula: konke engikwenzile kuvela ekugqugquzeleni kwangaphakathi, hhayi esifisweni sokuba sesimweni noma ngenxa yokungigxeka. Ngifuna ukuzizwa ngimuhle. Futhi asikho isidingo sokuyibonisa kunoma ubani ngokuqondile. Angilindele ukuhlolwa nokunconywa. Ngizenzela mina kuphela."
"Kungani iqhawekazi lizama ukusheshisa izinto?"
U-Daria Petrovskaya, umelaphi we-Gestalt: “Kubalulekile ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwendawo yokulawula yangaphandle neyangaphakathi. Esimweni sokuqala, ukusekela, izinsiza kanye nempumelelo kubangelwa ithonya lezici zangaphandle: "Abanye abanjengami, okusho ukuthi konke kuhamba kahle kimi" noma "Ngasizwa ukubhekana nomsebenzi, ngangingeke ngiwenze. mina.”
I-locus yangaphakathi yokulawula iphendukela ezinsizeni zabo siqu kanye nezinqubo: umuntu uyakwazi ukuthembela kumakhono akhe siqu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, zombili lezi zici zibalulekile kunoma yimuphi umsebenzi. Ngamanye amazwi, kokubili izisekelo “ezivundlile” kanye “neziqondile” ziyadingeka: Mina ngokwami kanye nami sixhumana nabanye, nendawo ezungezile.
Ngokusobala, i-heroine inendawo yokulawula yangaphakathi enhle kakhulu.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, noma yimiphi imisebenzi yethu isho inqubo noma umumo wemiphumela. Kule ndaba, ngibona ukulungiswa kunalokho kumphumela. Uma inqubo ngokwayo ibalulekile, kuba nokwenzeka ukuyijabulela, ngisho noma imiphumela ikude kakhulu.
Ingabe lezi zinguquko zivela esifisweni sokulungisa njalo "ukungapheleli" noma othandweni nokuzihlonipha wena?
Uma umuntu egxile emphumeleni kuphela, indlela eya kuyo iphenduka ukungaqondi kahle okufanele kubekezelelwe. Ngakho-ke kungase kube nesifiso sokusheshisa inqubo, ukuzisola ngesikhathi esichithiwe, umuzwa wokuhlala okubuhlungu endaweni yamanje.
Umbuzo uphakama: kungani i-heroine izama ukusheshisa izinto futhi ngisho nokubukeka okusha kuyindlela yokufeza umphumela olindelwe isikhathi eside? Inkulumo yakhe, yebo, izwakala iqiniseka, uyaqaphela ngokuphindaphindiwe ukuthi uzenzela zonke izindlela zokungenelela, hhayi ngenxa yesifiso sokujabulisa abanye. Ukucabanga okubucayi kubonakala ngokucacile endabeni yakhe. Ngokusobala, akazange enze izinqumo zakhe, esesimweni sokugula kwemizwa. Kwakuwukukhetha okunokulinganisela ngempela.
Kodwa intuition yokwelapha ingiphoqa ukuthi ngibuze okwengeziwe ngengxenye iqhawekazi eliyithatha njengengaphelele futhi efuna ukuyenza kabusha ngokushesha okukhulu. Yini engabekezeleleki kangaka ekushiyekeni kokubukeka? Ingabe lezi zinguquko zivela esifisweni sokulungisa njalo "ukungapheleli" noma othandweni nokuzihlonipha wena?
Lo mbuzo usangivulile.”